Fan Fiction ❯ Phoenix Rising ❯ 'Memories’ ( Chapter 13 )

Chapter Thirteen: `Memories'

Author: Hentai

Warnings: Same as always, intended yaoi/shounen-ai, death, implied rape, angst, and blood. Ummm…fluff and lots of it! Oh, and lots of Japanese, since some of this happens in Japan ^_^

Notes: I did a lot of research for this chapter on the Yakuza and its structure…if anyone out there knows more about it, and if I made any mistakes, please let me know! LOL I hate to sound like a baka when I write ^_^ I have no affiliations with the Yakuza, and I don't own Sesame Street! One more thing; let me know what you thought of this chapter! Please! I got it out in less time than I thought I would, and want to know what you all think! Once again, thanks to my beta's!

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Large black eyes peered through the slats in the closet door. He could hear voices, voices yelling with the occasional scream in his mother's tongue, voices belonging to the bad men that his parents were hiding him from. They were talking too fast and his young mind could not understand their words, but the emotion and threats behind them were clear. He tugged on a lock of black hair nervously, trying not to listen as his father yelled something in Japanese at someone; instead, he listened to the television in the bedroom across the room.

"One...Mwahahahaha! Two…Mwahahahaha!"

The little boy would have giggled had it not been for the fact that his mother was just thrown into the room, and onto the bed by a leering man with tattoos covering his hands and the side of his face. He cringed back and changed his angle, trying to make sure his mother was okay as he heard her grunt as the man picked her up by her long black hair and threw her on the bed.

He clutched the carpet in his small hands as the man crawled onto the bed and lay down on top of his mother. He heard a sound like the tearing of clothing and quickly sat up more, trying to see what was going on as he heard his mother scream a single word over and over as she thrashed on the bed.

Yamete...Stop. The little boy knew that word well. His mother said it to him all the time when he was doing something he shouldn't, something bad.

"Okaasan…" He whispered as her cries settled into tortured moans. He didn't know what he was witnessing; only that it hurt his mother. He clenched his fists in anger, wishing he had his shinai so he could beat the man until he left his mother alone.

The man grunted and arched his back, making his mother scream and cry out with tears in her voice. The boy closed his eyes to stop his own tears, bringing his knees to his chest as another shout was heard, this one he recognized as his father's.

A gunshot echoed through the house and then his mother's scream. She screamed his father's name as she fought harder against the man on top of her, finally gathering the strength to push him back enough to struggle to her knees. He saw the glint of metal as the man drew his Wakazashi from his belt and the boy tried to cry out to his Okaasan, to tell her to get away, but it was too late. His mother's scream became a gurgle as the blood bubbled and flowed thickly from her throat. Her hands flew to the gaping wound in her neck as the man pushed her off the bed with a laugh, sending her flying into the door the boy was peering through. He jumped back quickly as the door was slid ajar, his mother's porcelain toned skin marred by the stark red of her blood as her hand seemed to fall in slow motion to land inside the closet next to his trembling bare foot.

"Mitsukeru no shonen!"

The child jumped again, his eyes widening with fright at the barked command. They were looking for him, and he had nowhere to run. Would they kill him too? Would he die like his father? Or would his blood spill on the floor like his mother's? He whimpered and scooted quickly back until his body hit the wall behind his mother's kimonos. He gripped the silk fabric in his small hands, crying and biting his lip to keep the sobs from escaping his throat. He heard another shout, something about the boss having called and they were to leave him for the Americans that they would find him later.

He heard the door slam and jumped again, a sob escaping his throat as the sound of the car driving off faded away. He sat there, staring into the darkness, for how long he didn't know, but when he finally dared to move, his stiff muscles protested and he winced. Crawling across the floor, he reached out for his mother's hand, touching it lightly and sobbing at the cold feel of her skin.

"Okaasan…please wake up…Mommy?" He took her hand in his and shook it, trying to wake his mother, not understanding why she would not open her usually warm black eyes and smile at him, tell him it was all a bad dream and he could wake up now. He tried several more times to wake her, but she didn't move, her eyes did not move from their wide open stare at the ceiling. He finally let the sobs escape him and laid on the floor, resting his cheek in her cold and bloodstained hand and closing his eyes as he realized his mommy wasn't going to wake up.

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Score awoke with a start, sitting up straight in the bed and looking around frantically. Shivering as the dream returned to him, he wrapped his arms around himself, suddenly cold and looked to the sleeping figure beside him, a small, sad smile crossing his visage. Phoenix. The only thing he had left. The only thing he loved that hadn't yet been taken away from him. He let out a shuddering sigh and lay back down, drawing his lover into his arms and nuzzling his soft hair. He closed his eyes and fought back the tears the memories threatened to tear from him.

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He had not chosen his life, it was chosen for him before his birth, and his mother had known. That is why she had run away to America to marry his father. She had known she was pregnant with the American businessman's baby and had confronted her parents. She told them that she was going against the Shatei's own rules, the boss of their branch of the clan, and marrying a foreigner. His grandparents had protested, his obaasan saying she would rather suffer the dishonor of a bastard grandchild then lose her only child to the clan laws.

"I refuse to live under their laws any longer! I hate the blood and the killing they seem to revel in, Okaasan! I want to be free! I don't want to marry within the clan as law demands! I love him, I can't control whom my heart loves…" The young woman sobbed and kneeled lower before her parents, her nose pressed to the mat as she bowed in respect before them. Her words were muffled, but she knew they heard her. She could tell by their silence.

His mother had run off against her parent's wishes, fearing the clan would find them, but reveling in the love she had found.

Five years later, they had found them, killed his parents and left him to be found by the American authorities. He had been sent back to Japan, his only living relative on either side of his family being his ojiisan.

His thoughts ran wild through his head, memories clashing together, jumbling his thoughts. His mother's face was faded now: he could not remember much of it, only her smiling black eyes and the porcelain look to her skin.

Sakamae Kaminaga…he remembered her name before she had come to America. She had told him once, told him to never forget who his mother truly was; even though she hid from her past behind a fake name, to never forget where his people were and who he was.

"You are Hajiri Kaminaga-Thorne, never forget that, koishii. Never forget who are really are. Even if you never set foot in Japan, know that is where your mother's heart will always be."

There in Japan, he learned the traditional ways of the sword, and was given the family's katana denka when he turned 16. He practiced with the sword as he was told, showing a great talent in it. The Shatei took an interest in him and took him under his wing as one of his favored few. Hajiri detested the man.

For as much as he claimed to like the boy, he tortured him with stories of his parent's deaths, his own son having raped Hajiri's mother. The Shatei was growing old by then, planning to pass his rank in the clan soon to his only son. He never got the chance. The man was shot down in a drug war a few weeks later. The Shatei wept in Hajiri's arms, the teen pretending to comfort him as he inwardly rejoiced at the bastard's death.

Now he was in hell were he belonged.

On his 17th birthday, he was given his first job. His skill with the sword having given him more than just the Shatei's favor, he was now a full clan member, and his first job was to assassinate an up and coming politician. It was more of a test than a job: if he passed; he was to be given a rank in the clan, his own small gang of street kids to rule over. A small rank, but then, rank was everything in the clan. You were either a leader or a follower, and the thought of being one of many sheep to the Shatei turned Hajiri's stomach.

The job went smoothly, more so than the nervous teen had thought it would. He had to imagine the man beneath his sword was the Shatei, that he had finally taken revenge for the murder of his parents. The thought of the Shatei's death made him enjoy the kill, each time his sword sliced through flesh, he sneered in victory at the lifeless eyes.

A few years later his whole gang was killed in a shootout with the cops, Hajiri and his second in command being the only survivors. They had returned to the Shatei, covered in the blood of their brothers and given explanations as asked. The Shatei was not happy. He had killed Hajiri's second right in front of the young man, a well placed bullet in his temple giving him a quick death.

The Shatei sent Hajiri to America, telling him there were jobs there he could do for them, that until things cooled down for him, that is where he would stay. He had been in America for three years before that fateful night he had met Phoenix. His beautiful Sage.

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Score whimpered in his sleep and tossed to his side, bright blue eyes and short, well-cut black hair flashing in his mind. His target. The son of a rich and well-known anti-Yakuza advocate in America on vacation.

The boy was no more than 7 years old. The Shatei deciding that since the advocate would not take their bribes and other means of manipulation, it was time to resort to other tactics.

Score had met his contact in the train yard, as they always did, the old rusted train cars dying slowly around them. The man had spoken quickly, in clipped tones, his Japanese fluent and smooth. Score had taken the job, knowing only that the target was black-haired and blue-eyed, the only one in the household with such outstanding features.

Score had checked out the large mansion, taking mental notes on the family's activities throughout the day. He was startled though, when the rather tall Japanese man had gotten out of the limo, pulling a laughing child into his arms, a child with black hair and startling blue eyes.

He went immediately to the Wakashu, refusing the job. After consulting with the Shatei, and a long session of trying to beat some sense into the white-haired assassin, he had been taken to a `special place', as they liked to call it. Score knew its kind well; it was a torture house, out in the middle of nowhere where no one would hear him scream.

They had taken his denka katana, and left him lying in his own blood in the slums of the city. It was a warning, his first and the only one he would receive. He knew this, even as he lay on the cold cement, feeling like he was dying but knowing better. He chuckled bitterly, no humor coming from the choked sound, and dragged himself to his feet after several long hours of unconsciousness. The movement made him cough and he looked blankly at the spattering of blood on his hand.

After wandering for what seemed like hours, trying to decipher through muddled senses if he was followed, he made his way back to his lover's home. Back to his Phoenix. He remembered the rain, the cold slicing through his bones as he stumbled through the streets to the small building his boyfriend owned and lived in.

He didn't remember anything past falling against the door, slamming his one useable arm against it hard, using the last of his strength. Then warm arms around him and Phoenix's frantic cry for help as he slipped into the darkness of unconsciousness.

He rolled over in bed again, realizing he had fallen asleep again as he opened his eyes. He sat up slowly, looking around the room when he realized his lover wasn't there with him anymore. He hugged his knees to his chest and sighed, resting his forehead on them and stared at his still naked thighs.

<Okaasan, otousan…I miss you both…>

He wiped at the tear that fell from his eye and slowly stood, walking to the dresser where he had his few pieces of clothing and dressed. He walked to the door and gripped the handle, taking a deep breath before opening it and stepping out into the hallway.

The dimly lit apartment permeated with the smells of meat cooking and spices. He took another deep breath and smiled as he recognized the smell. <Sukiyaki?> He thought to himself with a smile. It reminded him again of his mother and his smile turned sad. He entered the living room and leaned against the wall, watching as Phoenix danced around the kitchen, preparing the meal.

Phoenix sang to the music coming from the CD player as he set the sukiyaki in bowls, hoping his lover liked it. He had done some research on the Internet since he had been banned form the hospital. When he found out Score's origins, he wanted to do something nice for him, something that made him feel more welcome when he returned home. He chuckled to himself and shook his head as he realized how sentimental he had become where Score was involved.

He picked up the hot bowls and set them on a tray, setting out chopsticks, which he had no idea how to use, napkins and two soft drinks. He smiled at the meal and picked up the tray, turning to make his way to the bedroom and wake his lover. He stopped as he saw Score watching him from the hallway entrance and blushed a little, the heat flashing up his neck to his ears. He hadn't realized he was being watched.

"I made us some dinner. I thought maybe, since I had found out where you were from and all, you would like something perhaps that reminded you of home…" He smiled again and started towards Score, stopping as he saw the other's sad smile. "Score?"

Score smiled, looking into Phoenix's jade green eyes and took the tray from him. At his questioning look, the white haired youth gathered him into his arms and held him tightly, nuzzling his face against Phoenix's neck as they embraced.

"I don't want to lose you too, Sage."

"Y-you won't, I'm not going anywhere…" Phoenix was a little stunned by this. Score had never called him by his given name before, and he was acting … disconcerting. Something he had never seen Score do. Score pulled away enough to look into his eyes again and took his lips in a deep kiss. Phoenix closed his eyes, whispering his lover's name softly. "Hajiri…"

They held each other for long moments, just kissing softly, no demands or lust in it, just soft brushes of lips and tongue. Finally pulling apart as their lungs began to burn, Score rested his forehead against the other's, taking in deep breaths as he closed his eyes.

"My name sounds so good on your lips. No one has called me that in a long time…" Score whispered.

Phoenix smiled and kissed his nose. "Hajiri," he said and kissed his cheek. "Hajiri," again, he kissed the other. He did this until he had kissed every inch of his love's face, letting the name roll off his tongue like a sweet confection.

Score chuckled and hugged him tighter, sighing at the feeling of Phoenix in his arms. He was content just to hold him for now, but a voice in the back of his mind reminded him that the Shatei would still be looking for him, that his warning was just that. He still had a job he had to do, unless he could find a way out of it. That was highly unlikely. The Shatei enjoyed torturing him; this was perhaps another way of doing just that. What would happen when they found out about Phoenix? He didn't know if things had changed in Japan or not, but he knew the Shatei's views on homosexuality. He would see Phoenix as a threat, and threats were eliminated.

He smiled as Phoenix sighed in contentment and pulled away, gazing into his lover's eyes as his smile widened. "Shall we eat? It smells delicious."

Phoenix smiled and nodded. "I don't know if it will taste right; I followed the recipe exactly, but I have never been much of a cook."

Score kissed him on the forehead and smiled reassuringly at him. "I am sure it is fine. Besides, sukiyaki is hard to mess up. If you get the sauce right, the rest works out fine." He pulled Phoenix to the floor with him and set him in his lap, turning towards the coffee table where their dinner sat.

They each took a bowl and Score laughed as he watched Phoenix struggle with the chopsticks. "Here, like this," he rearranged the placement of the sticks in his lover's hand, smiling as he took up his own and showed him. "See? Now just move your fingertips lightly to manipulate them."

Phoenix watched and nodded, dipping the end of the sticks into the food and trying to pick up a thin slice of meat. He frowned as it slipped between the chopsticks and flicked juice all over his chin. "Damn! Maybe I should just get a spoon. How do you teach babies to use these things?"

Score chuckled and leaned forward, tipping his perplexed lover's chin to lick the sauce from it with long, slow flicks of his tongue. He looked into Phoenix's eyes and smiled. "We use toothpicks, much easier for them."

Phoenix burst out laughing and almost dropped his food to the carpet. He quickly caught the bowl and set it on the table as he continued to laugh. He turned to look into the obsidian depths of his lover's eyes and wrapped his arms about his neck. Rubbing their noses together, he chuckled. "You are so bad…but I wouldn't have you any other way."

Smiling, Score rubbed back, then pulled away to dip his chopsticks in the sukiyaki. He picked up a piece of meat and offered it to Phoenix. "It would really be shame if you didn't get to eat what you had cooked for us."

Phoenix smiled and took the food into his mouth, his smile widening at the taste. When he had chewed and swallowed it, he chuckled. "That is pretty good! I must be a better cook than I thought."

They finished their meal, making small talk and laughing, just enjoying each other's company. When they were finished, they cleaned up together; both happy just to be together again. When they had finished the dishes and the kitchen was cleaned up, they cuddled on the couch, watching movies and talking. Around midnight, they both grew silent, just holding each other and thinking their own thoughts.

Phoenix bit his lip, his thoughts returning to what score had said in his sleep. <Kozoku no katana kyshtay yo? Is that what he had said?> He sighed and turned in Score's lap, straddling him and looking deep in his eyes. "Score, I…want to ask you something. This morning, I woke up and you were talking in your sleep. I want to know what `Kozoku no katana kyshtay yo' means." Worry crossed his features as he watched Score flinch, then his lover sighed and closed his eyes.

"Kazoku no katana kaishte yo…." He corrected. "It means, `Return my family sword'…"

Phoenix looked at him, slightly confused. "Why would you be saying that in your sleep? Does it have to do with what happened while you were gone?" His voice lowered and he asked softly, "will you tell me what happened now?"

Score sighed and gathered Phoenix closer to his chest. "Hai, yes. I will tell you. I will tell you everything…but you have to promise me first that you will tell no one else, not even Dutch, and that you won't leave me…"

Phoenix's eyes widened. <What could Score tell him that was that bad? Nothing he said could ever make me stop loving him.> He thought and nodded, keeping silent as he cuddled to Score's chest.

Score began to talk quietly, starting with his mother, and holding back tears as he told Phoenix about how he had witnessed her murder. He moved on to his moving to Japan, to live with his ojiisan, and told him everything from there, without going into great detail about the people he had been involved with. No names were mentioned, not the name of his `brothers' or any others. He needed to protect Phoenix, even though he understood his need to know.

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Index of Japanese words:

Sukiyaki: It's a very popular one-pot meal in Japan. The main ingredient is thin sliced beef, and it is simmered in a skillet or pan in the sukiyaki sauce with many vegetables and other ingredients.

"Mitsukeru no shonen!": "Find the boy!"

Shinai: bamboo sword used for practice.

Wakazashi: Swords with blades 12" to 24".

Yakuza: The Japanese Mafia.

Shatei: Senior boss of a Yakuza gang.

Katana denka: heirloom sword.

Koishii: beloved or darling.

Wakashu: Junior boss, below the Shatei.

Ojiisan: grandfather.