Fan Fiction ❯ Poems and Songs ❯ Dear Dad ( Chapter 9 )

Everything you couldn't do
That's why you yell at him so much
He's supposed to do everything you didn't
He's supposed to go where you didn't go
He's supposed to be who you weren't
But he's not
He's himself
You can't live your life through him
But you don't care
You do it anyway
I guess part of it is my fault
But he never took to books like I did
Yes, I got beat up at school
But you were too busy caring about him to notice
You never saw all my bruises
You never saw the bloody nose
The lost tooth
The black eye I had
I had them
You were just too worried about him to see
I was the one you ignored
I tried so hard to make you notice
I did well in school
I pushed my way up the ranks in martial arts
I'm going to be a master in two years
I effectively graduated a year early
But you don't notice
You only notice when I do something out of character
And you wonder why I hide in the basement
You're too busy trying to live through him
You're too busy trying to make him live the life you wanted to live
He'll never be you
He'll never be the person you wanted to be
He'll never do all the things you couldn't do
All the things you wouldn't do
He's more like you than you notice
But all you seem to notice is him
I do well to get your attention
So you sing my praise for five minutes
Then he does something the opposite
And you scream and rave about him for days
I don't know who's more selfish
Him or me
He's had your attention since he was born
He's made trouble just for you
You never saw my scars
You never saw my tears
You never saw my bruises
Neither of you did
You were too busy trying to make sure he didn't start fights
You were too busy making sure he didn't get into fights
You were too busy watching him
You didn't notice me growing up
But he'll never do
All the things you couldn't and wouldn't do
So would you stop watching him
And see me?