Fan Fiction ❯ Ripping Greenleaves ❯ Bad manners and Sensitive Feelings ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Characters of Lord of the Rings.

Note: There is a bit of Legolas bashing, hence the word 'bit'. I do make Legolas a bit of an ass in this chapter, LOL, but it's all in humor of this story. How else can I show her animosity? The story takes place after the war of the ring.

Just some vocab (if my elvish grammar serves me right):

-Elleth (feminine) Ellith( Plural)

-Ellon (masculine) Ellyn (Plural)

Anyway, enjoy the story!

Chapter 1 ~Bad manners and Sensitive Feelings~

Tip 1- Try to render him impotent.

-The first time they met...-

An elfling proudly walked through the well lit Elven Halls. He stuck his chest out proudly, his nose in the air, perfect posture, even the hair he was gifted with seemed to glow with radiance. A sincere smile graced his face as he greeted each guard. The guards politely smiled back then went back to their merry singing. Though, the caves seemed to be a wary place to be, these elves didn't seem to mind. This was a strong underground fortress, but outside, they were more alert and cautious. But inside the caves, their hearts were content and they sung in such a melodious way.

This young elfling marched through the hallways, every step he took was a step of arrogance. Though this elf would soon grow wise and kind, for now this elf was young, and young at mind. As he prepared to turn a corner, he suddenly bumped into someone. It was a young elleth that had bumped into him and was now on the ground. The elf-maid quickly scrambled to her feet. Once she composed herself, she looked up to see who she had ran into.

"Thranduilion!" the elleth gasped.

"Yes, 'tis me," he looked down at his nails, not bothering to look at the elleth. "But if you will, please call me Legolas."

"Yes, of course! I'm very sorry for running into you, please forgive me," the elleth desperately looked at Legolas. "I did not harm you, did I?"

"No, I would be a pathetic excuse for an ellon if I was hurt from a elleth running in dismay, but you did dirty my tunic." Legolas said, as he brushed off a patch of dirt on his tunic.

The elleth's face turned scarlet red in embarrassment and burned like brand. "I'm sorry, I was outside and must have gotten dirty."

Legolas noted she had no company, 'Fool, no one walks through the woods alone. Ellith these days. Fools I say.' He thought to himself.

"Your name?" Legolas rudely asked.

"Gadwen, daughter of Maethor and Banethiel. I also have as sister named Minuial," she replied.

Legolas nodded his head politely, as if he was really paying attention, 'Since when did I ask her about her family?' He thought to himself.

"So your one them..." he slyly said.

Gadwen looked at him confusingly, what was he talking about?

"Pray tell, for I do not understand."

"You're one of the lower-class."

"How can that be? Everyone is treated in the same way, no matter if you are the King's butler or of high authority," Gadwen stuttered as she spoke.

"Well, that's what everyone practically thinks. My friends and I, however, think differently; we need some sort of class system," Legolas arrogantly said.

Gadwen suddenly found it hard to breath. Those words that he uttered, no one dared to mention those words to any fellow elf. She didn't understand, for all elves were kind and treated the same. Was he lying? There were rumor that spread about Legolas, that he was a bit arrogant.. After this experience, she found him to be much more than some arrogant elf going through puberty; he was almost barbaric in her mind.

Legolas, as usual, looked down at the elleth with droopy eyes. He was growing impatient, wasting his time on this elf-maid. There was an awkward moment of silence between them, so he decided to examine her. To say the least, he wasn't surprised. She had the same blue eyes like most of the ellith, same fair complexion, same boring blonde hair, nothing special in his mind. His eyes quickly caught hers, he noticed her eyes had become glassy. Her lip started to tremble, tears started to swell up.

"What's wrong? Did I say something?" Legolas panicked.

'Foolish elf, doesn't even know.' Gadwen thought to herself, she began to sob.

"No, please don't cry! It will spoil my reputation!" Legolas tried to comfort her, but she brushed his hands away. Tears were coming fast, and she broke into a full sob.

"Please stop! Um..."Legolas didn't know how to deal with the crying elleth. "It makes you look like a hill-troll."

The elleth breathed in sharply, but stopped crying. She looked up to see Legolas trying to give her a sincere smile. She sniffed and wiped her tears away, then she gave him a smile.

"See, that wasn't so-"

Faster than a Ringwraith tempted by the ring, Legolas was on the ground howling in pain. Gadwen had kicked him right in the crotch.

"HILL-TROLL? You're an arrogant piece of excrement! Don't you have manners?" she yelled down at him, not knowing she was being rude herself. "Well, you have a face of a horse's arse!" she seethed out in anger.

She stood on top of him with burning eyes and her foot on his chest.

Legolas managed to mutter a few words from his scowling. "You're still an ugly hill-troll."

Gadwen's lip started to tremble again, then she took off screaming "Nana."

Legolas could hear the elleth run away. It took several minutes to finally compose himself, he then got up. He leaned against the wall as he walked.

"Curse that elleth. Throw her into void," Legolas cursed.

As if the Valar had heard his rude remark, he doubled-over in pain again.

.

This was the first time they met, and certainly not the last. The two crossed each others path, and every time they met, all hell seemed to break loose. They'd always break into explosive arguments. At least once a day one would pull a prank on the other; hair was cut, ants were placed in beds, locking of bathrooms, missing possessions, songs sung ridiculing the other, you name it they did it. Soon the elleth grew tired of such childish actions, and repeatedly asked him to stop. Like the ellon he was, he said no. Which led her to move to Lórien to stay with a relative. Centuries past and both seemed to merely remember each other in fading memories. Of course, that would soon change.

--Present

It was the usual peaceful day in Caras Galadhon. The wind wistfully moved through the trees, making the leaves clap together harmoniously. The all too familiar essence of mellryn clung in the air. Ribbons of sunlight were tied to the vast land of Lothlórien. Yes, it was a quiet place. Save, the rabid elleth screaming curses about another certain elf in the distance.

Haldir stepped quietly into Caras Galadhon. He took leave of his duties because the lady of the wood wanted a word with him. Soon after his talk, he decided to find his brothers. Usually he would find them at a talan nearby the city entrance. As he got closer to his destination, he heard disturbing sounds. He picked up his pace. When he finally got there, he saw an angry elleth tackling a mannequin. Usually it was used for target practice, but this elleth took no heed of it's rightful purpose.

Swiftly, Haldir climbed up the tree. When he finally reached the talan, he was present with his two brothers bickering.

"You two sound like bickering orcs," Haldir stated. "Why are you two quarreling? More importantly, why is Gadwen mad?"

"He started it!" Rúmil pointed at Orophin. "He said the 'L' word!"

"I swear I never meant it! I accidently said Legoals an-" Orophin was quickly hushed by his brothers.

He tried again. "I accidently said you-know-who's name, which resulted in Gadwen going mad...again."

The three elves looked down at the elleth. Gadwen was punching the daylights out of the mannequin, then she proceeded in banging it's head on a tree nearby.

"She also stole my bow and all of my quivers!" Orophin complained.

"Serves you right, you now the rules," Rúmil said.

"I know, I know! Rule one; never say or mention you-know-who's name. Rule two; never say Thranduilion. Rule three; never mention anything about Northern Eryn Lasgalen. Rule four..." Orophin paused. "My memory is short lived, sorry."

"Rule four; Never mention the color green, or leaves. Nor should you put them together, for you will probably be blind folded, bound, then kicked repeatedly by her," Haldir said in a matter-of-fact voice.

Rúmil also gave his insight. "That, and the fact that Haldir and I would push you down the hill of Cerin Amroth. With the broken bones from the beating," he jested.

Orophin winced at Rúmil's remark.

Again, the three looked down from the talan. The mannequin had been propped up against a tree. Gadwen took a bow and aimed the arrow to her liking. Once she released it, the arrow went flying into its destination. Which in this case was inches below the mannequin's crotch.

Haldir and his brothers scrunched their faces. The only words to come out of their mouths were 'ooohhh'.

They watched as Gadwen repeatedly shot arrows between the it's legs, resulting in the brothers wincing in pain to the point they may have fainted. Their ears strained to hear Gadwen muttering: "Curse you! I should've gotten you drunk with wine from Dorwinion! Then pushed you of the tower of Dol Goldur. Or else tie your body to a mearas and let it drag you all the way to Mordor!"

All three assumed she was talking about a certain elf dwelling in northern Eryn Lasgalen.

Haldir and Orophin had finally seen enough and looked away.

"Remember the time you-know-who arrived in Lórien with the fellowship?" Orophin asked.

"Oh yes. Horrid. Lord Celeborn tried to talk some sense into Gadwen. As predicted, it never worked. Instead, Lord Celeborn was stuck in Gadwen's chamber for two nights listening to her rant and rage about you-know-who. Lord Celeborn's ears were ringing days after," Haldir said. "If she had seen Legolas, he'd be dead before you could cry 'Elbereth!'"

"So what prevented her from hunting him down and beating him?" Rúmil asked.

"Four very strong guards protecting her door. The four came back looking as if they had been chased by a colony of spiders," Haldir said.

Orophin chuckled then turned to Rúmil."What is she up to now?"

"Oh nothing interesting; just trying to gauge out the imaginary eyes on the mannequin. Presumably Legolas."

The three froze. If it was possible, they all turned even paler.

They waited, hoping that Gadwen never heard anything. Slowly they crept towards the edge of the talan, they all looked down, to their surprise Gadwen wasn't there.

"Phew," Haldir sighed with relief. He turned around, and froze again.

"Something wrong?" Rúmil asked.

"Yes, where'd my sword go? It could not have sprouted legs and walked away," Haldir said. He then quickly whipped around and looked down.

Gadwen was running like a madman towards the mannequin with Haldir's sword. Soon its limps were slewed off by her incessant hacking. She paused, the head was still mounted on the neck.

"Take that pretty-ellon!" She valiantly said, then hacked off its head, it flew many meters away. "Damn you to void with Morgoth!" She evilly laughed.

***

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! Please review!!!