Fan Fiction ❯ Shadowed hearts. ❯ Love, Lies and Endings ( Chapter 2 )

Chapter 2: Love, Lies and Endings.

Holden stands outside the restaurant, watching through the window, watching, as the 2 living people who he's loved more than anything else in the world hold each other. Watching the tears run down Sloane's face. Why cant I be the one to wipe them away? I love him. But he's right. I don't love him the way he loves me, do I? He's going to leave me. I'm going to be alone again. I don't want to be alone. If I'm alone, all I'll do is miss Vincent. Why damn you? Why did you have to do that to yourself? You arsehole! Why did you have to die? Tears roll down his eyes and he walks down the road. Neither of them can save me from myself. Am I Yoshiki or Holden? I'm not what I was before. I'm both and neither at the same time, aren't I? No, not what I was before. Vincent, I wish you were here. Holden walks slowly into a park and sits down on a swing, beginning to move back and forth on it. Why did everything go wrong? If only you'd never gone back Adonis, I'd never have hurt so many people. You never would have hurt me. You wouldn't be dead now. You'd be here with me. The rape goes through his mind, the images screaming through his mind. Why does it hurt me, even while I'm awake?! This isn't fair, damn it! Why couldn't I have him back? Holden puts his head in his hands, sobbing quietly to himself. I have to tell Sloane. He deserves to know the truth. I don't deserve his love.

****

Sloane lies upon his and Holden's bed, wondering where Holden was. He must have gone to get something to eat. He'd left Dominick at the motel he was staying at, having talked with him for a while. He knew the entire story now, about Tobias and about Arcana. He also knew a little about Dominick's history. His mind was racing, thoughts of Holden running through his mind. "Holden, I love you, but I can't take this anymore. You cant be what I need, and I cant be him for you." Tears roll down his face, as he hears a sigh. His head shoots up off the pillow and he sees Holden, leaning against the wall.

"I didn't hear you come in." Sloane says. He notices the tears in Holden's eyes. "You heard that, didn't you?" he whispers softly. Holden nods. "I'm sorry. It's the truth. This needs to end. I can't be him for you." Holden nods again, and whispers back, "I never wanted you to be him. I just wanted you to be you. I love you, but you deserve better. Tell Dominick I said goodbye." He then turns and walks out of the room.

"Holden! Wait! Please!" Sloane jumps up, propelling himself off the bed and after him. "Please, stay and talk to me. Give me the chance to tell you everything. Please?" he sobs out, "don't leave me, not like this. It isn't fair!" "I'm sorry Sloane. I have to go now." And walks out on him.

Sloane slumps down against the wall, the flood of tears cascading down his face. He sits there, crying and crying, until he finally drag himself back to the bedroom and picks up the phone, dialing the number Dominick had given him incase he or Holden wanted to get in contact with him. The phone rings for about a minute before the click comes, and Dominick's voice comes down the line. "Hello? Who is it?" "It's me. He left. He walked out on me, and I don't think he's coming back." Sloane chokes out. "I'll be there in 15 minutes." Sloane turns off the phone with a click and shuts the 2 rows of curtains, before falling onto the bed and crying.

****

Dominick knocks on the door softly. He can hear the crying inside. He tries the door handle and lets himself in, closing the door again before calling out "Sloane?" Not getting an answer, he follows the sounds of the crying and knocks softly on the bedroom door. "May I please come in?" Not getting a reply, he opens the door anyway, and walks over to Sloane and wraps his arms around him. "I'm sorry, my lovely. Are you going to be ok?" The sight of him there, so hurt and helpless tears at his heart. Sloane shakes his head, sobbing softly. He buries his head in Dominick's shoulder, and begins to tell him what happened just before Holden left. After he finishes, Dominick nods his head and whispers, "It's not your fault."

"But it is. If I didn't say what I did, he wouldn't have left. I would have had time to talk to him! Why couldn't he just stay for one more night? That's all I wanted. One night in which I could have explained to him!" Dominick sighs softly, stroking Sloane's hair, "Speaking of night, it's nearly dawn. Don't you need to sleep soon?" Sloane nods and whispers, "Please, stay here with me. I can't stand to be alone right now." Dominick nods and whispers, "I will." Sloane puts his head down on the pillow and cries himself to sleep

****

The sun rises with its normal frequency, the rays of light breaking through the clouds for a moment, just before the rain begins to fall, soaking Holden's blond hair. He sighs softly, as he knocks softly on the door he stands in front of. A minute later, Azriel opens the door, and gasps.

"Holden! What're you doing here? Your soaking wet! Come inside! Quickly!" Azriel grabs his arm and drags him inside, then runs to get a towel. She comes back and wraps the towel around him, drying his hair quickly, then noticing the tears running down his face. "What is it Holden? What happened?" she wraps her arms around him and holds him close. "I left Sloane." Holden whispers, his voice barely audible.

"What happened?" Holden leans his head on her shoulder and recounts the events of the night, including following Sloane and the thoughts of Vincent. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come, Az." "Holden, you're my best friend and I would have been upset if you hadn't come to me. Have you talked to Caine yet?" Holden shakes his head and whispers softly, "No. I don't think I want to either. He'd try to destroy Sloane." He sighs softly, curling up. "I love Sloane, but he deserves better." Azriel sighs softly, and whispers "Don't say that Holden. It's you that he loves." "I still love Vincent, even after everything that he did." He sighs softly. Tears run down Azriel's face, the images of her best friend lying on his bed not speaking, the pain inside him tearing him apart. "What I wouldn't give to take your pain away. Make the world perfect for you." Azriel sighs out, her eyes clouded with the memories. "It's time to move on, to stop needing someone." She whispers softly into his ear. Holden looks up at her and nods his head. "Your right, Az. Though it's easier said than done…. I tried it when Dominick left me. I landed up with Sloane." The tears stream down his face. "I know Holden. I know, better than anyone else." She whispers softly, remembering seeing them together, the way that Sloane would hold Holden, and kiss him as though nothing else in the world mattered. I wish someone would kiss me like that. But more importantly, I wish Holden would find someone who he could love and be loved back, without being hurt….