Fan Fiction ❯ Shattered Angels ❯ Going Under ( Chapter 1 )

Shattered Angels

Chapter 1: Going Under

A thick mist of darkness surrounded me, so heavy with malice I thought I was going to suffocate on it.

Silence too, deadly silence. Nothing else could be heard, but my labored breathing which was straining more and more as time ticked by quietly.

Loneliness was with me also. A black gaping hole within me that kept on emptying, nothing could fill it.

Standing there, I didn't know what to do.

I didn't know what happened, one second I was there…the next I was gone.

I remembered hearing screaming, seeing death, feeling pain and tasting blood. That was it, I could have racked my brain over and over again, but no clear images came up, just masses of blurs that I couldn't define.

Then all of a sudden a light filled the darkness and illuminated everything around me.

I was standing in a meadow with assortments of flowers, I sat down and picked up a flower and smelled it, lovely.

~**~**~

Now I will tell you what I've done for you

50 thousand tears I've cried

Screaming, deceiving and bleeding for you

And you still won't hear me (going under)

Don't want your hand this time I'll save myself

Maybe I'll wake up for once

Not tormented daily defeated by you

Just when I thought I'd reach the bottom

I'm dying again

~**~**~

Birds were chirping, rabbits and deer were scampering about.

I tilted my head towards the sky, clear blue, a divine blue.

Butterflies flapped slowly in the air, floating about. Their creamy white wings looked like snow.

Everything looked and seemed heavenly.

I raised the flower to my nose to smell it once again, but my body froze and I dropped it. It fell slowly to the ground and when it hit it everything shattered and disappeared in front of my eyes like pieces of a broken mirror. Their fragments fading into the darkness.

Then there was pain.

What was happening?

Pain was shooting through my body and it felt like claws were digging into my skin and trying to peel my flesh off. Like my skin was on fire, like something was trying to rip me apart.

~**~**~

I'm going under

Drowning in you

I'm falling forever

I've got to break through

I'm going under

Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies

So I don't know what's real and what's not

Always confusing my thoughts in my head

So I can't trust myself anymore

I'm dying again

~**~**~

I screamed as tears started to stream down my face. I couldn't take it, it was hell.

I wanted someone here, anybody here to be with me, to save me.

I wanted someone here to stop this, make it end, making it all go away.

Memories flittered through my mind, memories I couldn't remember.

Images of familiar faces I couldn't recall, I didn't even remembered if I knew them or not.

They flashed before my eyes and right after they disappeared I instantly forgot about them, it was like my life was leaving me taking everything I thought I had held dear.

Nothing made any sense as I went deeper and deeper into delirium.

Was it ever going to stop?

My body stopped moving, it went limp and I fell, but instead of hitting the cold ground which I had thought was beneath me, I fell.

I felt myself plummeting through the darkness with the icy wisps of wind running through my body.

I was free falling down, down. I didn't know where, all my mind was registering was the fact that my body was descending downwards with cool wind rushing in my face and against my body.

~**~**~

I'm going under

Drowning in you

I'm falling forever

I've got to break through

~**~**~

Then out of nowhere, SPLASH! I fell into ice cold water.

I opened my eyes, dark cold water all around me compressing me, making it hard to maintain focus.

Drifting deeper and deeper into the water, deeper and deeper into artic darkness.

My skin starts to freeze up, everything turns numb.

Everything I thought I knew in my head vanishes.

This has to be a nightmare.

This can't be real.

Yet, everything feels real.

I start choking on the water, I need to breathe. It goes into my lungs and I begin to cough, air…I need air.

~**~**~

So go on and scream

Scream at me I'm so far away

I won't be broken again

I've got to breathe I can't keep going under

~**~**~

My head gets dizzy and helplessness sweeps over me like a veil.

There is no hope, I'm dying.

Going further below the surface into the abyss.

My eyes get heavy and darkness clouds my spirit, tearing at it, consuming it.

There isn't anything I can do and no one can help me.

This is death I guess.

Complete solitude.

~**~**~

Mage: For this chapter I'm using Evanescence's song 'Going Under', I don't own so don't sue me for I have no money, song is used to set the mood.