Fan Fiction ❯ She Chose Death ❯ Cranberry Beetle ( Chapter 1 )

She Chose To Die

Chapter 1

"Oh come on, Noah.  You know I always have my head in the clouds." she smiled as she gripped the wheel and turned the corner onto the paved street of the quiet neighborhood. 

It was a sea of brightly colored leaves on the dull gray pavement as her wheels kicked up the natural little dancers from the trees.  The quiet city homes rested, children playing happily in the green front yards. The breeze hit her face as her head of short brunette hair whipped around.  Her bright brown eyes glanced to her companion, waiting for a typical reaction.

            "Yeah, I know that…but while you're driving? Can we at least keep the daydreaming to a minimum while you're at the wheel?" he replied.

            A soft laugh escaped her lips as she pulled into the small driveway and pushed the shifter into park.  Her laugh died when she saw his reaction to it.  Noah grabbed his book bag and opened the door, with a serious look to his face.  She hated how handsome he really was when he gave her that look, his sandy blonde hair flawlessly always in place and his icy blue eyes peering into her soul.

            "Look, Ann, you know I really care for you, but I really think you should get some help.  Its getting out of hand really…" he bit his lip as he struggled for the right words.  "Please go see someone? At least a counselor at the school?"  His reply was silence.  With a heavy sigh Noah shut the door and leaned through the open window, "I'll talk to you later ok?"

            "Yeah, sure, ok." her voice was dangerously soft as she shifted the car into the reverse and began to back out into the empty street.

            "Be care-" he began before she swerved out of the driveway carelessly.  His blue eyes watched the cranberry colored bug speed out of the urban neighborhood onto the dangerous main street. He shook his head without real concern and made his way up the cement walk.  As he fished for his keys, the young man could not have possibly guessed the impact his words would have on not only her, but himself for the rest of their lives.

            "Not only do I have to do what they say, but now I'm told what to think???  I have never ever hurt or harmed anyone with my overactive imagination!  Why can't people just leave me alone!!" her words rang loud and clear over the radio. 

Ann's hands gripped the black wheel tightly and she watched her knuckles turn white as she waited for the light to turn green.  Her brown eyes were no longer gleaming but dull and intense with anger and sorrow.  Her day was growing increasingly worse, she had just about had enough.  The moment the light flickered green her foot was on the pedal, pressing against the floorboard, her emotions overtaking her logic.  She didn't care if she got a ticket, it would just be another problem floating in the sea or trouble for her.  It seemed like an eternity of fighting against the other angry drivers of heavy five o'clock traffic before she would reach the parking lot to her sanctuary.  Leaving her backpack in the car, the young woman in a hurry rolled up the window and fumbled with her keys. 

Having found what she was looking for, Ann stepped out onto the wet pavement submersing her shoe into a deep puddle of water.  Moaning she shook the access water off of the tennis shoe and angrily grabbed her purse.  While doing so the silver keys she held slipped from her slender fingers and fell into the puddle beneath her.  Taking a moment, the youth rested her forehead on the steering wheel of the vehicle feeling tears of hopelessness and frustration sting her eyes.  After a few minutes of calming her emotions and deep breaths, Ann bent over in the seat and found the keys in the water before stepping out of her car barely in one piece.

The walk to her apartment door was thankfully without event, but the moment she stepped in was another story.  She flicked on the light to her small entry way to find her cat underfoot. 

"Oh kitty!" she smiled at the furry greeter rubbing against her long legs.  She bent over to pick up her black fuzzy companion only to have the cat hiss in irritation at her.  Carefully she set the creature down and walked to its real source of concern-its food dish.  Sighing heavily that not even her little precious cared, the college student gave in to its demands and poured the dry cat food into the steel bowl.  The little bits of liver and chicken made a distinct noise to the ears of her dependant and she was all but forgotten as his mouth found the mound of nourishment.  

Shaking her head Ann finally found herself walking heavily to her room, tired and needing a nap.  She spun around to peer into her kitchen after having passed it in a sleepy state.  Floating at the top of the little bowl was the body of her little fish…having apparently just died that afternoon.  Eyes wide in shock and her already unstable state growing ever more shaky, the young woman chose to ignore this fact and head back to her room.  All she needed was a really good cry, that's all she ever needed.  It would have to do.

The youth cringed at seeing a message waiting for her on the machine atop the nightstand next to her bed.  She knew her aunt had tried to call…but she turned off her cell phone for a reason.  That miserable old woman had nothing kind to say to her since her parents' death a few months ago.  What could she possibly want now?  Unfortunately for Ann, despite past occurrences with her rather rude relative,  she was a kind heart and thought maybe for once the old shrew had something nice to say.  Once again she found herself wrong.

"I got your grades today.  Passing one class?  Do you know that your parents are probably rolling in their graves right now??  I'm not helping you out anymore after this semester, you're a failure and I'm sick of messing with you."  The dial tone quickly followed the harsh statement.

Ann found herself sitting on the bed biting her cuticles in panic and shock.  Why so suddenly? Her aunt knew about her grades…she told her.  Having been fired a few days before for being late so often, Ann had no job and no means of supporting herself.  The brunette found her world crashing down around her.  This was usual, but this time she felt like she couldn't even escape to her fantasy world.  Noah's words bringing her out of it.  Noah.  She needed to call him, talk to someone.  He was the only person she could talk to, who would care enough to talk her out of this…

Her fingers shook as she picked up the phone, her tears streaming freely down her soft cheeks.  The numbers of the phone blurred with her vision as the mascara and eye shadow began to sting her eyes once again.  The young woman wiped at her face with the back of her hand, smearing the make-up on her lovely face.  Turning away from the phone she was forced to face herself in the mirror.  An ugly site in her eyes, the brown hair wild and black mascara smeared around her eyes.  Her face and neck were red from emotion. 

She watched herself as the phone rang…and rang and rang.  No answer.  He seemed upset earlier, was he possibly ignoring her calls?  It would make sense, since high school she had begun to lose her friends one by one.  Why wouldn't she lose him too?  She felt alone suddenly.  Very alone and vulnerable.  It overcame her, the silence of her apartment.  The lack of caring there was for her in the world.  It had to end.

The last thing she remembered thinking while closing the door to her apartment was just that she needed fresh air.  Maybe go to a movie or for a walk in the park.  That always helped her relax.  She wasn't thinking much when she opened the door to her car, or when she pulled up to the main road.  It was a blur, all of it, up until she was driving along the main street in the city to get on the freeway.  Then her thoughts were suddenly clear.

I want to die.  I can't take this anymore.

Her face remained blank as her hands gave the slight motion to the right.  It was a slow motion as the telephone pole became the center of her car's hood.  As the metal twisted around her fragile body no tears fell from her eyes as she instantly blacked out into nothing.  There was a new sense of freedom.

A/N: I apologize for any mistakes on here, meaning as I wrote this fairly early in the morning, but I wanted to get this first chapter started on here. ^-^ Please let me know what you think, I'd really appreciate it. I'm sorry this is slow, it was building up to her sense of grief and insecurities, there'll be more to it I swear! :D