Fan Fiction ❯ Simpsons in Labyrinth ❯ Chapter 3 ( Chapter 3 )

Disclaimer: The Simpsons and Labyrinth belong to their respective owners. I claim no right to them.

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Chapter 3.

*Huff huff gasp cough*

Homer was hyperventilating. He was bent over with both his hands resting on his knees, and was breathing hard.
He looked up at the narrow but long, never-ending, expanse of the Labyrinth, which laid out in front of him. He
looked around himself and saw that Bart was missing.

`He couldn't have been that fast.' Homer thought to himself.

"BAAARRRTTTT. WHERE ARE YOU??!!"

Homer yelled out into the empty space.

"I'm right here Dad."

Homer heard Bart's voice and squinted his eyes. When he couldn't find him anywhere he called out again.

"BART. I can't SEE you. Come CLOSER."

"Umm, Dad. Turn around."

Homer turned around and found Bart. He was standing just a few feet away from the doors, through which they had entered.
Suffice it to say, Homer had ran full speed for a few seconds, and had lost his breath.

"Aaarrrgghh. I felt like I'd been running for hours." He complained loudly.

"Well, all right" Bart said, walking towards Homer. "Lets go Home-boy. This Labyrinth isn't going to solve itself."

They both started down the path. They passed the moss-covered walls. They maneuvered their way through the fallen logs
on the ground. They walked and ducked under the tree braches, growing from within the walls.

"How long do we have to walk? Why aren't there any turns or corners in this place?" Homer spoke up, after walking quietly
for a short period.

"Just keep walking Dad." Bart dismissed his father.

"Oh, but I'm starving. Do you think we'll be able to find something to eat around here." Homer spoke with his stomach growling.

"Maybe we could find something to chow-down up ahead. Come on, pick up the pace." Bart noticed his father starting to
slow down.

They walked in silence again for sometime. While walking, Bart noticed a small colorful object up ahead. He walked towards it, when
he heard a commotion from behind. Homer had lost it. He was kicking and punching at the walls.

"Yaarrgghhh!! This stupid :kick: path is :punch: never going :kickpunch: to end. Aaahhhh what kind of :kick: stupid place :punch: is this."

"Cool your jets Homer." Bart, who was used to Homer's temper tantrums, called out without looking behind him.

"Come on. I found something up ahead. Lets take a look."

"Listen Boy. If it isn't something I can eat or drink, then I'm not interested." Homer said folding his arms over his chest.

Bart, by then, had crouched down to look closely at the thing. It turned out to be a small colorful worm. He turned his head in Bart's
direction, once he sat down.

"'ello" said the worm.

"Did you just say hello?" Bart asked him.

"Nope, I said `ello…ohhh."

Homer had picked up the worm by the middle and was directing him towards his mouth.

"'elp! `elp!" the little creature cried out.

Bart quickly snatched the worm out of Homer's hand, before it could be devoured. He gave Homer an incredulous look.

"What??!!" Homer asked. "In some cultures, worms are considered a delicacy."

:Homer's thought bubble.

A giant house is seen, with a big lush garden. Two people are sitting on the patio, drinking tea. The man is dressed in a tuxedo,
and the woman is dressed in a gown, and lots of jewelry.

Man (with a thick British accent): Would you like more worms with your croissants, my dear?

Woman (with the similar accent): Why, I would be delighted.

The man picks up a few, squirming worms with a tong, and puts it on the woman's plate. She proceeds to eat them, by slurping
them up, like spaghetti.

End thought bubble.:

"Hmmmm, wormalicious. Aaghuuhhuhh (drooling noise ^_^)"

"You are an idiot Homer." Bart snapped him out of his day dreams. "This thing talks. Maybe we could ask it some questions."
Bart said, waving the worm in Homer's direction. He then put the worm back down.

By now, the worm had started swaying slightly.

"Hey little guy. Could you tell us the way out of this place. We're trying to get to the castle." Bart asked, once the worm had
steadied a bit.

The worm just wanted to tell them to go through the hole in the wall. But, he had to uphold his duty of trying to distract them
from their journey.

"W…wou…would you like t…to come in for a n…n…nice spot of t..te…tea?" He asked them, still a little shook up, from his
impending doom.

"We are not interested in your tea." Homer answered. "Just tell us how to get out of this damn place. Unless you got some
beer, then we're talking."

"No beer, sir." Said the worm, cowering slightly.

"Well, then just tell us the way out."

"Well sir, this place is full of openings. You just have to look for them. As a matter of fact, there is an opening in the wall right in front
of you." The little worm informed them.

"What the hell are you talking about? It's a solid wall." Homer exclaimed.

"You have to understand sir, that in this place, nothing is as it seems." The worm said. "Go ahead, walk towards it. You'll go
right through."

"Hmm, you better be telling the truth."

Homer walked towards the wall, and….:thonk:, he bumped into the solid stones.

"D'oh!"

"Why you little….you said there was an opening here." Homer bared his teeth and walked right up to the worm.

"Umm, a little to your left, sir." The worm cringed back, from the close proximity of Homer's face.

"Stand back Dad. Let me give it a try."

Bart walked towards the wall, and stepped right through. He disappeared behind the wall.

"O.K. so where were we." Homer said, once Bart had gone. "Oh yeah, we were talking about the probability of you giving
me a beer."

"I already told you sir, I don't have any alcohol."

"Hmm, well then, the only thing left for me to do is eat you."

Homer extended his arm towards the quickly retreating worm. He almost had a hold on the poor creature, when an arm shot
out of the wall, grabbed Homer and pulled him through.

"What the hell are you waiting for Dad, lets go."

Needless to say, the worm had heaved a huge sigh of relief.

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Homer and Bart reappeared at the stone-hedge maze. They walked their way around many of the twists and turns. They continued
walking for quiet some time. And then, Homer felt like he'd had enough.

"I hate this goddamn place." He cried out. "Why the hell am I stuck doing this. I could be home right now, drinking beer and
watching T.V."

He then turned towards Bart.

"This is all your fault. So many T.V. shows going unwatched, so many beers sitting away in the fridge. Ohhh, ho ho ho" By the end,
Homer was practically weeping.

Bart ignored his ranting and made another left turn.

"Oh My God, there is no end to this place, is there." Homer cried out again after a few more minutes. All of a sudden his eyes lit up,
and he turned towards Bart.

"Hey Boy, I've got a plan. Why don't we ask that Sting guy to send us home. We can get another baby girl from the orphanage.
We could dress her up in Maggie's clothes and give her Maggie's haircut. Marge will never know the difference." Homer said smiling
widely, as if that was the best plan he'd had come up with.

Bart heaved a huge sigh.

"Listen Homer, you might be dumb enough to fall for something like this but not Mom. Next to Lisa, she's the smartest person in the house."

"I know. I was just trying to cheer myself up." Homer smile had faltered, replaced with a sad, dejected expression. There was another turn
coming up ahead of them.

"I hate to do this as much as you do Dad, but think about Magg…oomph"

Bart, while turning around the corner, had bumped into a body and had fallen backwards. He looked up to see who he had bumped
into and found….

"Grampa!!!"

"Dad? What the hell are you doing here?"

Homer walked up to Grampa, who was standing there scratching his head and looking around.

"Ohhh, there you guys are. I've been looking all over for you."

"Wait a minute, wait a minute, hold up." Homer piped up. "How did you get here?"

"Well, it all started when I went to your house this morning…..

:Flashback….

Grampa is seen entering the Simpsons household. It's still dark and there are no noises indicating that someone's home.

"Helllooooo!!"

Grampa called out.

"Is anyone here? You all better not be hiding in the basement like last time."

Grampa saw someone seated on the couch.

"Oh, there you are Homer. Why are the lights out? Did you forget to pay the electricity bill again?"

At that moment, the lights came back on. Grampa squinted his eyes and looked down at "Homer".

"Che uuh. Hey! You're not Homer. You're Randy Little Humper, or something." Yes, it was Santa's Little Helper, sitting on
Homer's spot.

"Where the hell is everyone? Hello, what's this?"

Grampa noticed a swirling portal in the middle of the living room. He walked towards it to take a closer look.

"Looks like a gateway to another world. If I step through, I could possibly end up killing myself." He thought for a
moment and shrugged.

"Eh well. I've had a sufficient enough life." And he walked through….

……only to end up right in front of Jareth's castle in the goblin city.

He looked around himself and walked right into the castle. He heard giggles coming from a side and walked in that direction.

"That sounds like Maggie."

Grampa walked into the throne room and found Maggie sitting on someone's lap. He walked up to that person, and snatched
Maggie from their arm.

"Give her here. This is my granddaughter. What are you doing with her you….." Grampa took a look at Maggie's captor
"….beautiful young creature."

Jareth had been startled slightly when Grampa took Maggie from his arms. His eyes widened slightly when the old man complimented him.
He took Maggie from him, and placed her on the throne, and stood up.

"O.K. O.K. if you want to keep Maggie, I will let you keep her, young lady. On the terms that you agree to marry me, or at least allow
me to serenade you." Grampa had mistook Jareth's long hair, and soft feminine features for a girl's.

"Sir, let me inform you that I will keep Maggie with me, regardless of what you say. Secondly, I am NOT a woman. My name is Jareth,
I am the king of Goblins."

"Ohhh, that's just my luck. I either fall for really old hags, or girly looking boys." Grampa wailed loudly.

He took a look at Jareth again.

"Oh, who am I kidding. I still want to marry you, and I can overlook the fact that you are a boy. If you can ignore that I'm sixty,
have been married twice, have made numerous threats to government officials and have the FBI, and CIA out for my blood." Grampa
was clinging on to Jareth's arm, looking up at him with moony eyes. Jareth's left eye had started twitching madly.

"Come on, what do you say. I will never be able to find a girl as beautiful as you. And I'm pretty sure you're gay, with these tight
clothes and all this make-up. Huh, what do you say, huh?"

Jareth's eyes had widened full blown. The mismatched irises were nothing but small dots. He looked down at Grampa and said
in an eerily calm voice.

"O.K. this is what I'll do."

The outer doors of the castle banged open and two goblins were seen throwing out Grampa.

"Aaahhhh!! Maybe we could discuss it a bit moooooorrrrreee!!"

:Thud:

Grampa had bumped into, and fallen against the wall. The castle doors closed in a hurry, and sounds of many locks and latches
going into places, were heard clearly.

…….end flashback:

……..and that's when I walked through the wall and ended up in this god forsaken place. Dah, hey, where're you going?"

At the end of his tale, Grampa looked up to see Homer and Bart resuming their walk around the stone hedge.

"Hey, wait for me." Grampa scurried after them.

"Dad, come on. Go home or something. We don't want you slowing us down." Homer said to his father.

"But you guys don't have to walk so much. I know a short-cut. All you have to do is go back into the hole in the wall and ……….:snore:"

Homer had pressed a vein in Grampa's neck, who was now laying on the floor, snoring loudly.

"Phew. Thank God that shut him up. Blah blah blah, that's all he ever says. Lets go boy."

They both started walking away when Bart suddenly stopped. He came back towards the comatose Grampa, and took his wallet
out from his back pocket.

"Eh, we might need it later on." He shrugged towards Homer.

"Good thinking boy."

`Ooh, why didn't I think of that.' Homer groaned mentally.

They again walked for quiet some time. They took another turn and came face to face with two doors. But, what was standing in front
of the doors was what caught their attention. There were two creatures guarding the doors, that looked like they came straight from a
deck of cards. There were funny looking old men peeking out from the top and bottom of the cards. The faces on the bottom were
upside down.

"Finally we're getting somewhere." Homer exclaimed.

"Hey weirdos. We need to get to the castle. Which door do we have to take?" Bart asked the card people guarding the doors.

"Yeah. You have no idea how long we've been walking. This place just doesn't seem to end." Said Homer.

The people behind the cards started speaking. But, they were speaking by taking turns.

"What you have to understand is…." Spoke the one, on the top left.

"That nothing is at it seems…." This time, the one on the bottom left talked.

"You may have walked a path…." Said the top right one.

"On which you roamed before." Finished the one on the bottom right.

"What??!!" Bart exclaimed.

"What the hell are they saying?" Homer asked cluelessly.

Bart's fingered clenched into a tight fist. He turned towards his father.

"Well Homer, what they are saying is that we've been walking around in circles."

"But that's impossible." Homer cried out.

"In this Labyrinth….." Spoke the one on the top left.

"Nothing is impossible…..." Said the one on bottom left.

"If you need more evidence….." Said the top right one.

"Then take a look behind you." Once again, the bottom right one finished.

Homer and Bart looked behind them. They expected to see the opening through which they had just walked.
What they found was a solid wall, indicating a dead end.

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B ack at the castle, Jareth was swinging Maggie in the air and catching her. She was emitting joyful cries and squealing
with delight.

All of a sudden, there was a gust of wind that blew Jareth's hair off his face. The goblins had all quieted down when they
heard a sound echoing off the walls.

"DOOOHHHHHH!!!!!"

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Back at the doors.

"Why you little…."

Homer had one of the top doormen in his clutches and was squeezing his scrawny neck for all he was worth.

"I am :choke: so tired :choke: of this :choke: stupid place : choke:"

The doorman was turning blue in the face.

"Oy, oy :gasp: let me go :ack:"

"Homer, Homer, calm down."

Bart managed to free the creature's neck from Homer's deadly grip.

"Now, as I was asking, which door will lead us to the castle?"

"You can't ask both of us…"

"You can only ask one of us…"

"But one of us always tells the truth…"

"And one of us always tells a lie…"

The doormen again took turns speaking.

"Grrrrrrrr" Homer's lips were pulled back all the way, and his teeth were bared. "Why the hell is everything so
damn difficult. Why can't anyone give a straight answer for once. I'll kill youuuu!!!" Homer lunged for the doormen
again, but Bart stopped him in mid-step.

"Stand back Dad. I got this one."

Bart picked up a rock from the ground. He pulled out his sling-shot from his back pocket and loaded it up. He pointed it
straight towards the top heads.

"You see this little thing guys. This thing can cause a lot of bodily damage. I can easily take someone out with this, even if I'm
standing far away. You can just imagine the amount of damage it will do, when I shoot it from a point-blank range."

The doormen looked apprehensively at the sling-shot.

"Well then, are you ready to start talking yet, or do I have to prove to you what this baby can actually do?"

He stretched the sling-shot backwards.

"Yeah, I've got bumps and bruises as evidence of how much this thing can hurt." Homer said, pointing towards his head.

All four of the heads disappeared behind the cards. Sounds of loud whispering could be heard coming from them. They came
back out and spoke to them.

This time, it was only the one on the top right who spoke.

"We have decided we'll let you go through. But we won't tell you which door will lead to the castle. You'll have to decide on your
own which door you want to pick."

Homer blew a raspberry.

"Phhbbbttt, how hard can that be. O.k lets see. We'll take the one on the right, no left. No no no, we're going with the right one.
But I do have a feeling about this left door. O.K. I've decided, we're going with the right, no left, right, left……." Homer ranted
on with indecision.

"We'll take the one on the right. Come on Dad."

Bart decided for them, and stepped inside. Homer followed shortly after him. On his way in, he pulled back his arm and punched the
doorman on the face, sending him flying towards the wall.

"What the hell did you do that for?" Bart exclaimed.

"I couldn't help it. Besides, we're already inside, what can those morons do to us now."

After he uttered those words, the floor beneath their feet opened up, swallowing them both. They fell down the tunnel screaming all the way.
Homer's cries could be heard echoing, as they fell deeper and deeper down the hole.

"D'oh, D'oh, D'oh, D'oh….."

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TBC.

Author's notes: So, what did you guys think? :D I know that Homer seems to torture every Labyrinthian creature he meets.
Well, if you have seen the movie, you'll like what he's doing. I found it so frustrating every time these creatures distracted Sarah
from her path, so I decided to torture them through Homer. Oh, and I couldn't help bringing in Grampa. I mean, in the series doesn't
he show up in the oddest of places? If you want me to bring in any other character from Simpsons, let me know. I am writing this fic,
chapter to chapter. So, if you make any suggestions, I'll try my best to incorporate them in here, somehow. It may take a lot
of thinking -_-;;;; but I'll do it ^___^. O.K go on, review and let me know what you think. Till next time, bye bye ^_^.