Fan Fiction ❯ Simpsons in Labyrinth ❯ Chapter 4 ( Chapter 4 )

Chapter 4.

Falling down deeper and deeper into the dark recesses of the hole, Homer
and Bart's throats were getting sore from screaming at top of their
lungs.

"Oh My God! Is this agony ever going to end?" screamed Homer.

"Help!! Somebody help us!" Bart yelled out.

"What do you mean help? We are helping."

Homer and Bart, in their screaming frenzy, neglected to notice the fact
that they had stopped in the middle of the long tunnel, and were now
suspended in midair, supported by something unidentifiable.

"Huh, Wahhh. What's going on?" Homer asked in his usual clueless
manner.

Both of them were held up in the air by lots of green, scaly hands that
seemed to protrude right out of the mossy walls.

"What the hell?" said Bart, noticing his surrounding. He was held up a
little higher than where Homer was. The hands in the wall moved about
themselves until they formed a face. The hands for the mouth moved, and
voices were heard coming from within the walls.

"So, which way do you want to go? Up or down?"

"Woah, ho ho ho ho ho, this is soooo cool!" exclaimed Bart. He then
proceeded to shove his own yellow hands right in between the green ones.

"Come on, say something." He said in a whiny tone. "I wanna play too.
Come on, come on." He kicked out his foot and hit a few hands. The
hands on his left started forming another face.

"We are the guides in this tunnel. We are not to be made fun of." The
words were spoken in an angry tone. "You will answer our question and
we'll let you go on your w..oomph." Bart had punched the hands that
formed the mouth.

"Hey look Dad, I am gonna give this one a 'black hand'." Bart punched
the hand that represented the eye.

"He he he he he, you get 'em boy." Homer encouraged from his spot.

"Would you please sto..." Homer's fist flew out, and hit the face that
had formed right next to him.

"And I gave this one a green and blue. Waaahahahah." Homer laughed
insanely.

It seemed as though the hands had had enough. They were shifting about
themselves, rather rapidly. Another face started to take shape, only
this time, it was further away from Homer and Bart's vicinity.

"Would you like to go up, or down? Tell us now before we take you away
and dump you in the bog of eternal stench." The face asked furiously.

"Huh, the log of whoddy whatty?" asked Homer.

"Just answer!!!" the voice seemed to resonate all through the tunnel.

"Well duh, we wanna go up so we can continue on the damn journey." Bart,
who wasn't ruffled in the least by the angry tones, answered. The face
had changed his expression to a little apprehensive one, as if not
expecting his answer.

"Yeah, send us up now." Said Homer leaning himself back, as if relaxing.
"Come on, come on, get a move on." He whined, kicking his feet against
the hands. "I can't keep kicking you all day. I wanna get out of here
already." The annoying kicking continued.

"Well, since you chose up, I guess we have no choice."

The hands started moving about and Bart had started hauling up, from hand
to hand. Homer, on the other hand, seemed to be having a problem. He
wasn't even budging from his spot.

"Hey, what the hell is going on? How come Bart gets to go up, and I
don't. Haul me up, haul me up." He screamed at the appendages.

All of a sudden, there was a loud cracking noise, which was quickly
followed by several other cracking noises. Then Homer was seen plunging
towards the bottom. The poor hands that were holding up his fat body,
had finally given out, and were now hanging limply off the wall.

Bart would've been able to get out of the tunnel without problems, if it
wasn't for the fact that Homer had grabbed onto his legs before falling
down.

*=*=*

Jareth looked apprehensively at the damage done to the "Helping Hands",
through his crystal ball. He would most definitely have to replace the
ones that suffered Homer and Bart's wrath.

'This Homer Simpson is causing quite a lot of damage in my labyrinth.'
Jareth thought to himself, recalling how Homer had nearly eaten the worm,
and knocked out the guards at the door.

'Maybe I'll let him know that his temper could land him in a real pickle,
if he didn't control it.' He thought to himself and disappeared in a
shower of glitters. Maggie continued to sleep on the throne, suckling on
her pacifier.

*=*=*

Hoggle was sitting at the bottom of the oubliette, playing with his
little trinkets. 'I's hoping those idiots have made it to the castle by
now.' He hoped silently.

All of a sudden, the light that came from the small hole in the ceiling
was blacked out completely. He went under the small screen and looked
up. He saw a large, screaming object falling towards him rapidly.

'Oh No. Gots to get away from here.' Hoggle panicked, but he couldn't
seem to move a muscle. He felt frozen to the spot. All of sudden, there
was a loud yelling noise, followed by a loud thump. Hoggle cautiously
looked up and saw a pair of legs dangling form the hole in the ceiling.
Homer's large round belly had prevented him from falling through. Hoggle
heaved a huge sigh of relief, and went to stand directly under the legs.
Maybe he could find a way to help bring him down. Big Mistake. There
was another loud yell and a sound of something colliding. And then,
Hoggle's world went black.

*=*=*

"Oh, my head hurts." Groaned Homer, from his spot on the floor.

"Your head? What about you butt? It looks like you took a pretty nasty
fall." Bart inquired from his spot on Homer's stomach, which had broken
his fall.

"Surprisingly enough. The floor is rather soft."

Bart got off of him and stood up to observe where they had landed. Homer
remained on his spot. Suddenly, there was a muffled sound, which sounded
more like painful groaning.

"Uh Homer, I think maybe you're laying on something. Or someone." Bart
said to his father, who stood up reluctantly.

"Uhhh. Me head hurts... Have to kill fairies.. Filthy creatures.."
Hoggle spoke up dazedly, once Homer had gotten off of him.

"Hey look. It's that ugly little midget we met earlier." Bart said.

"Son, I think they preferred to be called ugly little dwarves." Homer
said, knowingly.

"Yeah, whatever. But what the hell is he saying." Said Bart, leaning in
closer in Hoggle's direction.

"...lead them away...pretty bracelets...Sarah..Ludo not brother..ugh."

"Hey, hey snap out of it." Bart said, kicking him lightly in the sides.

Hoggle shook his head and got up. He looked incredulously in Homer's
direction. In all his life, he never thought he would meet someone, who
would surpass Ludo in bulk. But here stood Homer Simpson, the living
breathing proof of his wrongful theory.

"Hey, you helped us out before. Tell us where we are? And is there any
food around here?" Homer asked Hoggle who still looked a little ruffled.

"You's in the oubliette." Hoggle answered.

"Oubliette eh." Said Homer in a knowing way. "Well, no matter, tell us
how to get out of here."

"You can't get out of here." Said Hoggle. "This here a place where you
puts people to forge' about them."

"Why you little."

"Oh yeah, if that's the case, then how did you end up here. Put him down
Dad." Bart asked of the little man, who at the moment was being shaken
by a bigger, angrier man.

Hoggle was put down roughly. He quickly picked up his little trinkets
and pieces of jewelry that had fallen off his clothes.

"Oh O.K. don't get you's shorts in a bunch." Hoggle said, walking
towards the far wall. He picked up the piece of wood, shaped like a
door, off the floor and put it up against the wall. The turned the knob
and opened the door, revealing a passageway.

"There ya go. Here's the blasted opening. Now hurry up and follow me."
Hoggle said sullenly.

"Geez, what's with the attitude?" Said Homer following Hoggle out the
opening. "You'd think we did something bad to him or something."

Hoggle felt incredibly tempted to just shut the door and leave those two
to rot in the oubliette, forever. All three of them stepped out of the
small oubliette, and into the cave-like pathway. Homer and Bart took a
look at their new surroundings. The walls and the floor of the place
seemed to be covered with a fine coating of shiny glitter, making the
whole place seem brighter and appear much more lighted.

"Ugh, I thought this place couldn't get any more weirder. But look at
all this razzle dazzle. I feel like I've stepped into a very disturbed,
glam rock fantasy world." Homer said, as they continued down the path.

"Turn around!" they all heard a guttural, heavy voice that came from the
stone faces sculpted on the walls.

"Huh Wahh!!" said Homer, giving a start.

"Go back!"

"This is not the way!"

More and more voices were heard coming from different faces.

"Is nothing sacred here?" Yelled Homer. "Everything is something. And
from what I've seen so far, they are all out to destroy me."

"Oh hush you." Hoggle said. "These here's just false alarms. They are
here to distract you from your path."

"And how is that different from any other thing we've met so far? Huh?
How? Tell me?" Homer was quickly losing his cool.

"Cool your jets Homer." Bart said. "We just have to get to that damn
castle, grab Maggie, and we'll be able to get the hell out of this
place."

"When is that going to be Bart? It doesn't look like its going to be any
time soon? Does it look that way to you? Huh, does it?" Homer was
starting to lose his voice.

After walking some more around the twists and turns, all three of them
noticed a small crystal sphere, rolling down the path.

"Oh No," said Hoggle "Not again."

"What?!!" screamed Homer. "What is it this time? What? We touch this
ball, it explodes into thousands of pieces of sharp glass, and millions
of tiny piranhas rain down on us, and slowly eat our flesh." Homer's
imagination was going into overdrive. Bart was staring wide-eyed at his
father.

"Umm, not quite." Said Hoggle, timidly.

The crystal object continued to roll down the path. All three of them
followed it, albeit grudgingly.

The ball rolled through an opening, and bounced by itself into a cup,
being held by a hunched figure in a hooded cloak.

"Now who the hell is this?" Bart asked.

"I'll tell you who this is." Said Homer, grinding his fist in his hand.
"This is another one of those creatures who are going to delay us. It
was probably put here by that stupid Sting look-alike." Homer then
grabbed the figure by the collar and proceeded to shake him violently.
"I'll kill you, you bastard. Homer Mad!!"

With Homer's violent shaking, the person's hood fell off. Revealing the
platinum-blonde headed figure of the goblin king. His hair had become
disarrayed and his eyes had gone wide, as if disbelieving the treatment
they were receiving.

"Uh Homer, I really think you should stop now." Bart said, looking
apprehensively at Jareth.

When the red faded away from Homer's vision, he also noticed who it was
he was shaking at the moment. With a gulp, he let go of the collar and
stepped back.

"Oh he he he he he, I was only joking. You know I wasn't gonna hurt you
or anything." Homer said giggling nervously. "Yet." He added under his
breath.

Jareth took a couple of calming breaths and threw off his cloak. Homer
and Bart's eyes had gone wide when they perceived what Jareth was wearing
underneath.

He was wearing a white poet's shirt, with a billowing collar, opened all
the way to his waist. The shirt was tucked into a pair of grey tight
leggings, which left very little to imagination. The outfit was topped
off by a pair of black, knee-high riding boots.

"Oh for the love of God." Homer squealed loudly. "My eyes, my eyes."
Homer covered both his eyes, and started running around in circles.

"Oh ho ho ho ho ho. If I had a doubt before, it's definitely gone now."
Said Bart. "You are so totally gay. And not just ordinary gay. You're
more like ambiguously, super king kamehameha (1) gay."

"Young man, watch your tone. I am not at all pleased with the havoc you
and your father have been wreaking. Don't try my patience."

Bart continued on, ignoring what Jareth was saying.

"I mean, it's not like its still the 18th century. Mind stepping into
the 21st century dude? I know, you should meet my Dad's boss Mr.
Smithers. He's gay too. But he doesn't flaunt his sexuality, wearing
horribly outdated outfits like yours."

Cut to Smithers' House....

Mr. Smithers is seen in his home. He's in a room where one wall is
entirely made up of a mirror. Several pictures of Mr. Burns are adorning
the wall. Smithers, at the moment, is wearing a salmon pink, skin tight
button down shirt, tucked into a pair of tight bell bottom pants. His
outfit is topped off with high platform shoes. He is currently dancing
around, moving his hips in tune with the song "Macho Man".

......End Scene.

"Really, Mr. Smithers is gay? I didn't know that." Homer had stopped
running around.

"Homer my man, there are a lot of things you don't know." Bart said.

Jareth's left eye was twitching again. The Simpsons men were not only
damaging his labyrinth, they were also putting a great negative effect on
Jareth's psychological system.

"Oh for heaven's sake." Jareth said, interrupting the conversation
between father and son. "I came here to ask you how you like my
labyrinth so far. But I guess I don't need to know the answer to that,
now do I."

Homer was staring straight ahead into Jareth's eyes.

'That's it Homer, just look into his eyes. And whatever you do, don't
look at his crotch.' Said Homer's brain.

"Uh Huh, yeah, uh huh." Homer was absent-mindedly nodding his head at
whatever is was Jareth was saying. His left eye rolled down the socket
and settled on the spot on Jareth's groin.

"Oh God, I can't take this anymore." Homer yelled out. "Don't you think
you can wear something a bit more decent. My son is a very
impressionable young man. This kind of indecent exposure is not good for
him." Homer looked at Bart, who was currently trying to mess up his
short spiky hair, trying to make them look like Jareth's.

"You see, you see. You see what you've done." Cried Homer.

"O.K. that's it." Jareth had had enough. "You know I wasn't planning
on doing this but you two leave me with no choice." Jareth brought his
hands in front of his chest and crossed them over, producing a crystal
ball.

"Indecent exposure. How's this for exposure." He threw the crystal ball
down into the tunnel and disappeared from sight.

Bart turned in Homer's direction.

"What the hell, you pissed him off again. You know Dad, it seems that
the man has a short fuse, which goes off every time you speak to him."

Homer opened his mouth to answer him when they heard a loud rumbling
noise coming from the direction the crystal sphere was thrown in.

"Uh Homer, please tell me that's your stomach that making those noises."

"I wish I could tell you that son." Homer said in an eerily calm voice.
"But right now all I can say to you is RUN!!!"

Homer and Bart took off screaming down the tunnel, followed closely by
Hoggle at their heels.

Bart, while running, risked a look back at what they were running from.
He saw many pairs of sharp objects twisting and turning within
themselves, hurtling towards them in a great speed.

"Ay caramba!!"

Bart picked up the speed and ran past Homer and Hoggle. Homer also dared
a look back and screamed in a high voice.

"Oh My Jeebus. Where are you? Save me Jeebus!!"

As it had happened before, with another girl, at another time, these
folks also came to a dead end.

"OOOHH, this is just PERFECT!"

Homer screamed grabbing onto the bars of the locked up gate and rattling
them loudly. Hoggle hoped to heavens that the secret opening in the wall
was still there, and that Jareth hadn't closed it up. He put his hands
flat over the expanse of wall and started to push in. Bart noticed what
he was doing, and joined in. The cleaners, as was the name of the death
object, seemed to be really closing in on them.

"Help Homer!" Barth screamed to his father, who was sobbing
uncontrollably at the iron bars.

"Oh why? Why did this had to happen to me. I always thought I would go
from this world piss drunk, driving off the edge of the cliff, in a
blessed drunken haze. Why, why why??" The sobbing continued.

Homer then turned back and noticed Bart and Hoggle giving him strange
looks, while trying to push the wall in. Finally taking the hint, he ran
towards the wall shoulder first, just as the cleaners were about to
barrel down on them.

They all fell inside and Hoggle looked up to see if the ladder was still
there. Turned out, it was.

"Come you two. Up the ladder and get out. Then you go, you's way, and
Hoggle go Hoggle's way."

Homer looked up, and up, and up.

"What?! You have got to be kidding me. This ladder goes up forever. I
am not going up there."

"Oh well, suit yourself. Hoggle my man, lead the way." Bart said, and
started to follow Hoggle who had already started climbing.

"Oh come on Bart. Let's go follow that thing that nearly sliced and
diced us. I mean it did knock down the gate. Maybe it's on its way back
to the castle. Who knows, come on." Homer whined loudly.

Bart ignored him and continued up the ladder.

"Good thing you is following me. Who knows what lies beyond that tunnel.
No one's been there for a long time ever since Jareth put that gate up."
Hoggle talked down towards Bart.

"Yeah, I know..ugh" Bart was roughly grabbed by his scruff and dragged
down the ladder and into the now open pathway. Hoggle contemplated
whether to continue up the ladder or follow those two. He heaved a deep
breath and came down the ladder.

"Hey wait for Hoggle you twos." He called out and ran after the
retreating figures of Bart and Homer.

*=*=*

TBC.

1.Borrowed that from South Park.

Author's notes: Muahahahahahah more creature torture *insane laughter
continues*. As you can see, Homer and Bart didn't go up
the ladder. So you can expect some real creativeness at
work in the next chapters, ehehehe *sweating furiously* -_-;;;;