Fan Fiction ❯ Spirit of the Dragon ❯ Recollection ( Chapter 8 )

Chapter Eight

Crowe sat in the room of shadows, while she listened to the steady rain. A nursemaid had come that morning, to clear away the shattered remains of breakfast. Not long after, a squall blustered in from the mountains.

Silver droplets landed on the pane, merging and dividing in an intricate dance. Watching them provoked an internal cyclone of emotions. For with the rain came countless memories.

Crowe let out a sigh. It seemed that thinking of him was inevitable.

Rono…He had been her world. Her first love…

She had replayed the moment so many times in her head. That horrible moment when he left. Clear like glass, the memory haunted her. She tortured herself with words she could have said; things she could have done, to keep him from walking down that road for good. The image of him leaving ran in a loop. She had expected him to stop. She had expected him to run back and take her up in his arms, telling her that he loved her and all was forgiven. But he just kept walking…

I should have followed him. I was just so confused…

Crowe had been unable to speak while he stalked off into the column of trees. Helpless clouds of breath curled from her lips into the autumn air. She wanted to scream.

Four years before that day, the two of them had met on a crowded caravan bound for the Capital. Crowe waited at the station in Blackwood. She had just turned seventeen, and could legally join the Gardrothian Military. So she ran away from home to become a hero. She was so full of dreams then…

A shaft of lightning broke on the horizon. Crowe shivered and curled up in the corner. The storm was getting closer.

***The rain came down in heavy drops. Crowe was drenched to the bone. But nothing could dampen her spirits. She felt elated amongst the gloom. She was actually going to become a warrior. All of her life had been a preamble to this day.

A dozen horse-drawn wagons rolled into the depot. They were here! They were here at last!

She dashed towards one of the vehicles, ready to jump on in.

"Whoa there, lass." The driver grinned at her. "Do you have a ticket?"

"Oh! Oh yes!" Breathless, she handed him a crumpled leaflet.

He took it, not bothering to look it over. "Alright, go on it. Hey…don't you have any luggage?"

Crowe patted the sword at her side. "This is all I need."

"Very well, then. Off you go."

She clamored onto the bus, splashing water all over a couple of annoyed passengers.

"Excuse me!" She said cheerfully, pushing passed them. "Is there any room?"

A young man in the corner made some space for her, and she plunked down next to him.

"Thanks!" She said, giving him a winning smile.

"You seem excited about something." It was an obvious understatement.

"Oh yes! I've never been to the Capital before! But I finally made enough money, so I'm going to become a soldier."

"Are you?" He turned to look at her. Crowe was a little stunned by his appearance. He was possibly the most gorgeous person she had ever seen in her life.

"Y-yes." She was suddenly aware that she looked like a drowned rat.

He pushed a lank of raven-black hair from his eyes. "What makes you want to join the army?"

Crowe searched for the words, but none came. "I…don't-I don't really know."

"You don't know?"

She felt like an idiot. Say something! "Well…my father. He was a soldier. He became a captain, actually. Stanislaus Night."

The boy raised an eyebrow. "You're Stane's daughter?"

"You know of him?"

"Of course I do. He was my Comiteas."

"You're Ronori!" Crowe couldn't believe it. "My father talked about you all the time!"

He looked delighted by that. "He did?" The smile made him look like an angel. "He talked about you all the time. I remember how happy he was when you won that canto contendo."

Crowe smacked her head against a hand. "You heard about that?"

"He said you sang like an nightingale. He wished he could have been there to see it."

Crowe gave him a sad smile.

He cleared his throat, a bit awkwardly. "I think I saw you at the funeral. You were a lot younger then…"

"A lot younger…" She agreed. The joy of that day had evaporated.

"Hey listen, once we get to Scylther, would you like me to show you around? Get you familiar with the barracks?"

The subject change worked. "That would be wonderful. It's very kind of you, Ronori."

"Anything for the daughter of the man who taught me all I know." He gave her a wink. "Call me Rono."***

Crowe shut her eyes tightly. She wanted to forget it all. Thinking of him only reminded her he was gone.

***A sliver of rose light appeared in the sky. Dawn. The valley was awakening.

Crowe drew in a shaky breath. Another day had come and gone. And with every sunset the void in her heart grew deeper.

She knew why. She had known it forever.

It was Rono. She was in love with him. But he treated her like a child. How could she make him see?

Below in the courtyard, a pair of lovers were laughing in the misty morn. What were they so damn happy about?

Crowe sighed and turned from the balcony. She was startled to see Rono standing there.

"Wh…what are you doing here?"

He was staring straight ahead with a solemn expression. "I ended it."

"With Lady Arielle?" Crowe's voice cracked.

He nodded. He was pale.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He went to her right and leaned against the railing, gazing at the sky.

"Do you…want to talk about it?"

For the first time she had ever known him, he looked sick. "It took all night. She kept crying and crying."

"You should rest. You look tired."

"Can't." He shook his head. "I'm a horrible person, Crowe."

Crowe touched his arm. "No you're not."

"Yes I am!"

"Fine, you are." She didn't appreciate being yelled at. "Why'd you dump her, anyway? I thought she was the most beautiful girl you'd ever known."

"I said that? I'm sorry."

Crowe wasn't in the mood for this. "Don't be sorry. I don't know why you'd be sorry."

"Because I was wrong." He bowed his head. "The kind of beautiful I'm looking for…is the kind of beauty you see, after you've known someone long enough to know them. After you realize that she's the perfect person, and she's been standing by your side the whole time."

Crowe looked away from him. "So who is it?"

"What?"

She rolled her eyes. "Come on, Rono. It's obvious that you ended it because you found out you loved someone else. So who is it? Is it Amaltheia?"

"What? No!"

"Let's see…" She tried to recall all of the cortesses he knew. "Is it…Lydia?"

"No."

"Jevette? Courtenay? Oh, maybe Delia…"

"No, no, and no. You're not listening, Crowe."

"Fine, then tell me. I got it! It's Reanna!"

"I love you, Crowe."

"I know you do." She drummed her hands against the railing. "Now wait, it's at the tip of my tongue. That redhead from the marketplace…Oh, what's her name?"

"No." He rested his hand on hers to stop her from fidgeting. "I love you, Crowe."

"What did you say?" She squeaked.

He looked guilty. "I've known it since that night at camp, when you made me laugh so hard I thought my heart would stop."

"Since then?" She blushed deeply. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "But-but you…you treat me like a little kid!"

"I want to protect you." He drew his hand away from her, feeling embarrassed. "Jeqk. Have I ruined this?"

"You could have any lady in the court." She murmured. "Why on earth would you pick me?"

"Because you became that beautiful person."

This is a dream, she kept thinking. It must be.

He groaned and put his head in his hands. "I'm sorry. I was afraid it would mess things up. I knew I shouldn't have told you. But then, idiot that I was, I thought---well what if she feels the same way? I was willing to sacrifice our friendship on account of some foolish fantasy I had. Sometimes I'm such a selfish-"

"Shut up."

"What?" She found herself grabbing and kissing him. It probably surprised herself more than the dumbstruck captain. She had always imagined her first kiss as one initiated by the male. Goddess knows she was clueless about the whole thing. And what did she think she was doing? He was six years her elder, and had the experience to go with his nonpareil looks.

She felt his lips curve into a smile. She could imagine him laughing in her mind.

When she pulled back, his eyes were dark and entrancing. The color had returned to his cheeks. "Well, that was…"

"Horrible, I know." Now Crowe was the embarrassed one. "I'm new to this."

"I was going to say it was wonderful." His words were genuine. "I was going to say it was the most wonderful kiss I'd ever had."

"But that's impossible. I've never done that before."

"If I didn't know how truthful you were, I'd refuse to believe you."

"Really?" That pleased her. It pleased her a great deal.

He looked over at her. "So does this mean…we've become an item?"

"It better be. Otherwise, what did I make an idiot out of myself for?"

He laughed. And his soaring joy propelled his laughter.

Crowe grinned in spite of herself. "So what now?"

"I think…" He extended an arm around her waist, pulling her closer so that their bodies met. It was a perfect fit. This knowledge sent delightful shivers up her spine. "…that I shall kiss you again. In all fairness, I wasn't ready for the last one."

She slid her hands around his neck and cocked her head up at him. "And I think…that I shall let you."***

Crowe was miserable. Before three months ago, she's been the happiest she ever had in her entire life. For three years, she lived a dream come true. And now where was she?

It was all because of her jealousy. It had invaded her with its horrible disease; the seed of suspicion. She knew how attractive he was. Every look another girl gave him reminded her of it. This is what most of their fights were about. And it wasn't even his fault.

Curse him for being so perfect. If he had been as plain her, she wouldn't have worried so much. She knew how shallow those noblewomen were. Money and good looks: the recipe for an ideal husband.

It didn't even matter that she knew how much he loved her. She couldn't believe that he wouldn't drift to another Arielle. She wouldn't even be able to blame him for it.

It was one of these many fights that resulted in him leaving her. But this one had been the worst of all: she had accused him of cheating on her. The strangest thing was, now that she thought of it, it was completely impossible. Their last few months together had been on the battlefield. He had been by her side constantly. And yet, the seed of doubt had grown into a venomous weed. She became obsessed with the idea that there was someone else. And his odd behavior didn't help.

One day, she blew up at him. The accusations flew like toxic darts.

***Surprisingly, he said nothing. Instead he just pulled something out of his pocket and tossed it at her feet.

She looked down at it with a kind of wrenching realization.

"I don't want it anymore." His voice was colder than ice. "Maybe you can sell it. Buy yourself some trust."

The autumn leaves shed from above, blanketing the grass in dying leaves.

He turned his back on her and left.

Crowe collapsed in a fit of sobs. She felt her heart had burst and shattered in a million shards of jagged glass. They cut her up inside.

She thought he would stop when he heard her. He usually did, because he understood that her delicate self-esteem made her paranoid.

But not this time.

Through a blurry haze she saw him stalk through the column of trees, and disappear from her life forever.

And all she had left of him was a diamond ring.***

Crowe was crying now. She gave up on trying to fight the tears. It was too much effort. And she was broken and weak.

The wind wailed as the storm passed over Azalea and headed eastward.