Fan Fiction ❯ Star Child ❯ Guilt ( Chapter 5 )

Star Child
Chapter #5: Guilt

It was a windy morning; the day was probably going to be cold and maybe even rainy. The weather was cold, much colder than the usual and it gave chills to the tall man walking down the street, so he decided to take one of his cigarettes and lit it to warm his body at least a bit. He knew he was lost, but he had to go there and tell the news- he always had to give the bad news.

Aiko felt uneasy and he knew it was because of his argument with the Mexican boy. He didn’t know what to do; he was too stubborn to apologize to him or even to go look after him so it didn’t even cross his mind. He hoped that maybe he’ll just walk around the neighborhood and then return in a few hours, but…what if he doesn’t.

He nervously walked side to side in front of the main entrance of the studio where the rest of the guys waited for him and Hoshiko to arrive, but this time it was only him. He puffs his cigarette one last time and then threw it on the floor stepping on top of it after. One deep breath followed while he ran his fingers through his light brown hair and then he decides to walk in.

While he climbs the stairs he hid his hands on the pockets of his jacket and shrug slightly with a sudden shiver that attacked him. The manager gained strength before stepping in the room and then he opened the door and with his usual cold and blunt tone he said the words no one wanted to hear.

“We’re not touring.” He said as he calmly as he lit another cigarette. “The boy left, so we have no one.”

“Where is he??” Yoshi snapped stepping out of his chair and accusing with his finger the man before him. “What you did to him? It’s your fault isn’t it?” Aiko chuckled and turn around ignoring his accusations. “Then get him back! We’re not going to jail because of you!” The drummer quickly pulled him so he would face him while he talk and stop avoiding his sight.

Aiko didn’t like that and immediately push his hands away harshly. “Calm down…no one is going to jail, that was just a little something to add pressure to us. Things like this happen every day, so we’ll say the truth.”

“You just don’t care for the boy, do you? What if something happens to him?” Yoshi was so angry he was even yelling at Aiko’s face and grabbing him by the jacket while he shook him.

“Calm down.” Mieko finally interfere pushing the drummer away from his manager. “If he wanted to go, we can’t just make him stay. Maybe is better this way, now we won’t embarrass ourselves in front of our fans.”

“What do you mean by that? Hoshi was great! You all know he was really good, just can’t accept it. I’m going to look for him and bring him back!”

“No you won’t.” Aiko glare at him disgusted. “You are not leaving; we have things to do- you’ll help me out.”

“Ask Takara- she’s just like you, heartless when it comes to Hoshi.”

“He’s not Hoshi!”

“You…I can’t believe I love you! You are cruel and mean and cold. If something happens to him, it will be your fault.” Aiko’s calmness was driving him mad, why was he so indifferent to the boy? After all he was the one who brought him with them.

“What can possibly happen to him? He is used to be on the streets- he’ll be fine.” More cold words came out of his mouth without even thinking what he was saying.

“This is an unknown place for him and everything is different, besides, he’ll freeze outside. It’s fucking cold today and he’s all alone surely without even a jacket to warm himself!!” Aiko was silent- Yoshi was right, but he couldn’t accept it. “You’re heartless. I had a friend and now…you just sent him away to find death.”

“Don’t exaggerate! And if you want to go after your boy, then go ahead! The door is open.” Yoshi ran out and Aiko threw the cigarette to the floor with anger for his impotence. “Damn you Yoshi…” He hated to be told the truth; especially truths he didn’t wanted to see.

“Well, I’m glad he left.” Takara smiled. “Now I can stay with my love all day and take care of him…that way he’ll wake up sooner. Bye, bye- I’m going.”

Mieko sat down with a sad look on his face. “All I ever wanted was to play and now…everything fades away.”

“Don’t give up so soon. Even if ENICO breaks up, you still have your talent and youth. I’m going home…there’s so much I have to solve now.” The bassist pats the guitarist on the back and then heads out.


~*~

It was late at night and Aiko kept looking at his watch, at the door, and the phone. “Dammit! Where is he? I wonder if Yoshi found him.” He couldn’t take it anymore and grabbed the phone to dial Yoshi.

“What do you want?” He answered pissed off.

“You found him?”

“What do you care?”

“Just tell me, dammit!”

“Now you’re worried?”

“It’s just a yes or a no.”

“What if I did?”

“Will you just stop it?!” He yelled irritated. “Tell me now or I’ll fuck you up!”

“Well…I’ve been waiting for a few years, you know, and it’s about time you want to fuck me.”

“Just answer my question, you idiot!”

“No. I didn’t-“ Aiko hung up the phone and hurry out to go find him. “This bastard hung up on me!”

~*~

The night ended and he still couldn’t find him. The dark streets were starting to shine with the rays of light upon them, and a thick mist clouded the tired eyes of the searcher, but still he tried to focus. “Where are you?” He was tired and soaked since it never stopped raining through the entire night until a few minutes ago. “I won’t find him…damn.” I hate myself. If he’s hurt…

He give up and his heart begin to ache thinking he won’t see him again. “I’m so sorry.” Guilt possessed him as he walked down the streets searching for his car, and then he finally founds it and approached it sitting on top of it while he tried to light up a cigarette. His hands were trembling heavily without letting him stay still, so the flames keep moving in the wrong direction without being able to light it up. Aiko got lost in his thoughts for a moment and then react. “I can’t believe its still here.” He was talking about the car-he though it would probably get robbed since he was in a bad neighborhood, but to his surprise it was in one piece. “Fuck, I can’t even light up this fucking cigarette!” He was so distressed that only bad words came out his mouth and he kept cursing himself for letting the boy go. “Damn you Aiko. Damn you a thousand times!” He held on to his tears even when he was about to set them free, but instead he slid into his car.

The bassist of ENICO drove away trying to keep his eyes open. His tiredness was severe, but he had to get home soon. He though maybe the boy went back while he was looking for him. “I’ll kill the bastard…why he does this to me?” Blaming the boy was his way of denying his fault and guilt.

The light turned red and he made a stop, and while he waited, a dark boulevard caught his attention. “I never looked there; should I even try? I’m so tired…”

Green light

He continued his journey but suddenly felt a chill and heard an internal voice telling him to go to that place, and then he immediately turned around. Luckily it was still very early and there was little traffic or he would probably end up crashing with another car.

He entered with the lights of his car on so he could see clearly through the street, and then stopped. He stepped out walking slowly and carefully down the boulevard; he felt uneasy to be there but still he felt it was right. Why do I feel like he’s here? Why do I feel like I’m being guided? I must be really disturbed with my guilt-damn!

The street was very dirty and it smelled like death animals or may even humans. After a few moments he finally saw something moving- it was a rat. He followed it with his eye sight only to found an arm thrown in the floor. “Oh God!” His hands instinctively covered his mouth with surprise and anguish thinking the worst, but then got over it and ran closer to uncover the body inside the bag. But just when he was about to turn the person around he felt fear and an intense sorrow possessing him and brought his hand back close to him. “Please, don’t let it be him…just don’t God, don’t.” His hand reached out once again to the body’s shoulder and he could see how his hand shook with nervousness as they move closer to it. He made contact with the laid body and in that same instant a chill ran down his spine.

He felt nauseous and dizzy, but most of all scared, so very scared that the dead body belong to young Chico. From out of nowhere he gained strength and turned the body around and faced the truth. “OH GOD!” He quickly turned his head and shut his eyes letting a tear escape from his eyes. “Oh God.” He slowly stood up and clinched his fists holding the need to throw up. “Why do I have to see this?”

Luckily it wasn’t him; the person was a girl and had her eyes eaten by some animal. “Argh!” He quickly stepped back. “This is horrible. I just hope Chico is not here.”

He walked a little further and his legs begin to tremble with each step he gave. He hasn’t felt so much fear in a long time but this was definitely a reason to be scared. What if someone attacked him? He gave a few more steps, and it was then when he saw him. “CHICO!!” He ran desperately to his side and pulled him to his lap. The body was bare, wet and very cold. The tanned skin had turned very white and his eyes had dark circles around them. “What have I done?”

Aiko pressed the body to his chest and couldn’t help it but to cry; he felt bad, horrible, and a real monster. “I killed you…I killed you.” He scoop him in his arms sobbing strongly as he walked away with a torn heart.

~*~