Fan Fiction ❯ taisetsu na tomodachi, taisetsu na kinen ❯ kimi no yume ( Prologue )

Kimi no Yume

 

Note: The song, Kimi no Yume, is from the series “Full Metal Panic.” The English translation is courtesy of Animelyrics.com. The characters in this songfic are of my own creation.

 

The soft spring sunshine peeked through the dusty attic's lone window and shone on the music box as it started to play. It was beautiful, even through the dust that encased it. A soft, eerie music started to play, narrating a sad tale of two friends who couldn't conquer their fears, separated physically by fate but yet joined together within the depths of their hearts…

 

the saddest thing ever to happen

was the time that you cried when saying good bye…

 

17-year-old Keiko Ikegami sat by the lake and sighed as she gave her best friend, Yukio Kimura, a shy sideward glance. She chewed her lower lip as she tried to look away before he caught her staring at him. She didn't know when she started to like Yukio as more than just a friend. But it was there, like a fissure that had suddenly opened up between them. Nobody knew, of course. Not even his little sister, Mayu, whom she had grown to befriend as well. She stared as the moonlight outlined the side of his face, from his calm, blue-grey eyes to his grim mouth to his short, dark hair as he stared somberly at the lake. His eyes only seemed to intensify under the combination of the moonlight and his gloom. Then, she forced herself out of her daydream and to the reason why they were both there, by the lake. He'd told Keiko that he had something to tell her. Keiko wondered why he wanted to meet all the way at the lake when he could've walked over to her house, which was right across his. It must be really important, Keiko had decided, since the lake had become, over the years, a place where they shared their secrets, their solemn refuge from the troubles of the world. And so, they had made the short trip together in uncomfortable silence. Maybe what he had to tell her had something to do with the reason why he had been depressed for the past week, Keiko had thought. She leaned against the huge oak's trunk and watched as Yukio angrily threw a pebble at the calm, peaceful lake. Keiko stretched her arms above her head, stifling a yawn, and stared silently at the onslaught of small waves lapping at the lake's shore, set off by the rock Yukio had thrown. Yukio hugged his knees and hid his face on his arms, shivering from the cold. Keiko threw him another sidelong glance and finally couldn't stand the silence anymore.

“Yuki, daijoubu desuka?” she asked. He sat, unmoving, for a moment with his face still buried in his arms, before she heard his muffled response.

“Kei, I'm moving out of the country,” he whispered. Keiko stared at him in shock. He raised his head and, by the soft glow of the moonlight streaming through the tree's branches, she could see that he was crying. His lips slowly moved as he talked but the words didn't register in her head. Yukio is leaving… Yukio is leaving… Yukio is leaving… Keiko thought over and over. She blinked back her own tears and looked away.

“When… When are you leaving?” Keiko managed to choke out, biting her trembling lower lip.

“The week after next,” Yukio replied gloomily. Keiko's head suddenly turned to face him again.

“Nani? That's… soon,” she commented dumbly, for lack of anything else to say.

“Hai,” Yukio answered hoarsely, resting his chin dejectedly in his arms. At that moment, Keiko couldn't hold back the emotion welling up inside her anymore. She threw herself at him, buried her face in his neck and cried silently. Yukio stared into space, shocked at the sudden outburst, before he wrapped his arms around her and softly stroked her short brown hair. He murmured soothing words to her as he held her close. Even though he was really depressed himself, he did his best to try and comfort his upset friend. Keiko held back another torrent of tears and pulled back embarrassedly. Yukio gently cupped her chin and wiped the tears from her cheeks. She was glad that he couldn't see her clearly under the moonlight. He would have seen that she was blushing despite the horrible circumstances.

“Gomen. You're the one who's moving away but I am the one who cries more,” she apologized. Yukio smiled and pulled her to him, hugging her fiercely.

“That's what I will miss most about you. You're the only one I know who isn't afraid to show her emotions,” he told her, almost choking on his words. Keiko looked down shyly.

“Yuki, can't you beg your parents to let you stay and finish high school at least?” Keiko pleaded. Yukio looked away and sighed.

“Don't you think Mayu and I are doing our very best to convince them? But they've already made up their minds. There's no use arguing with them,” he said bitterly, letting go of her and angrily rubbing his eyes.

“Chikuso,” he cursed as tears started to roll down his cheeks again. Slowly, his blue-grey eyes lost focus. Keiko knew that look. It could only mean that Yukio was lost in thought. She sighed and gazed at the lake, which had become still again. The soft reflection of the moonlight danced on the lake's surface, making her drowsy.

 

I couldn't say it as words and just turned my back

the bypassing memory still doesn't fade…

 

When Keiko woke, she was embarrassed to realize that Yukio was carrying her on his back. She blushed as she looked at the lazily passing scenery. She yawned and tightened her grip on his neck. Yukio turned his head to face her and smiled.

“So you finally woke up,” he teased. Keiko smiled sleepily back at him.

“Yes. You can put me down now, Yuki. I can walk,” she told him. Yukio turned his head to look at the road again while he headed for their houses.

“Is it okay if I carry you all the way?” he asked. With a pang, it dawned on her that this would be one of the last times that she would be this close to Yukio. She rested her head on his neck and sighed. She was silent for a while, savoring the moment.

“Okay,” she replied shyly. They fell silent again and Keiko started to remember other times that they spent together. One such memory stood out above the rest…

 

“Yamete kudasai,” a young girl of about 12 with short brown hair and tearful hazel eyes whispered helplessly as other kids taunted her. One of them laughed as he pushed her from behind and she fell facedown crying. This seemed to provoke the kids even more and they proceeded with taunting her. She painfully sat up and, closing her eyes and covering her ears, she tried to drown out their harsh words and wish it all away. Suddenly, everything fell silent. Slowly, hesitantly, she opened her eyes and put down her hands. She saw that the other kids were running away. She wondered about their sudden change of behaviour. Just then, a young boy about her age with jet black hair and blue-grey eyes approached her with a smile. He had a small cut in his cheek but didn't seem to mind it.

“They won't bother you again,” he assured her, offering his hand to help her up. She stared up at him fearfully but when she looked into his eyes, all she could see was the kindness radiating from them. She shyly took his hand and he let her lean on him for support.

“My name is Yukio Kimura,” he told her.

“Watashi wa Keiko Ikegami desu,” she said, smiling painfully.

“Arigatou, Yukio,” she added.

“It was no bother. It's time someone stood up against them,” Yukio told her grimly.

“Can you walk?” he asked.

“I think so,” Keiko replied. Yukio tentatively released her but as Keiko tried to walk, she staggered forward. She closed her eyes, anticipating the pain of hitting the ground but Yukio had quickly caught her before she did so. She smiled weakly at him in relief. Yukio shrugged indifferently and examined her under scrutinous eyes.

“Hidoi,” he muttered with disgust as he saw how badly the other children had hurt Keiko.

“Shinpai na yo. Daijoubu desu,” Keiko lied. Yukio frowned at her.

“How could you lie for them after everything they did to you?” Yukio wanted to know as he led her to the swings so they could sit comfortably. Keiko stared at the ground, not wanting to meet his gaze.

“I don't know. Even though they did this to me, I don't want them to get hurt. It wouldn't be right and I would just be doing what they did to me,” she replied, aimlessly drawing circles in the ground with her foot.

“It wouldn't be right, huh?” Yukio muttered, staring into space.

“Nani?” Keiko asked.

“It's nothing,” he replied. Then, he suddenly got up.

“Well, I'll help you get home, then,” he said.

“Arigatou, demo… I can get home by myself. Besides, I don't want to trouble you any more,” Keiko told him. Yukio helped her stand again.

“Sonna baka na. You can even barely walk,” he reminded her. and so, despite her protests, Yukio took her arm and placed it around his neck. They walked slowly to the deserted school's gates, with Keiko wearily giving out directions.

“Do they always torture the new kid?” Keiko asked, grimacing a little in pain.

“Hai, for lack of better things to do,” Yukio added.

“Ne, Keiko, this incident can't just pass by. True, this isn't the first time but they just usually taunt the poor kid. Occasionally, they get into small fights but that's just about it. They never were this bad before. I'm going to tell Sensei Inoue whether you like it or not. They might only get worse if we don't tell someone,” Yukio told her. They turned a corner and, almost involuntarily, Yukio smiled amusedly.

“I guess it can't be helped,” Keiko agreed, hanging her head sadly. Yukio looked at her curiously. This girl has guts. As they reached Keiko's house, Yukio laughed.

“Nani?” Keiko asked. Yukio pointed to the house opposite Keiko's.

“I live there.”

 

“We're here,” Yukio said softly, bringing Keiko back from her reminiscing. She hugged him tightly before he helped her get down from his back. Keiko held on to his hand for a few seconds longer and Yukio stared into her eyes. Yukio… Ai shiteru… she wanted to shout out to him. But she bit her lip. Yukio looked like he wanted to say something as well. He leaned down and kissed her on the cheek, then, he smiled sadly and slowly released her hand. Keiko blushed, shyly turned around and hurried to her house. Yukio watched as she opened the front door. Before she walked in, she turned around to face him. She smiled sadly then closed the door. Later that night, she tossed and turned, unable to sleep. She glanced out of her window and saw that Yukio's bedroom light was turned on.

 

if I can see you one more time

I want to tell you my feelings from back then

no matter how lonely a night can be, don't give up

your dream will surely come true…

 

All too soon, the remaining two weeks came. Keiko had cried her eyes dry and no tears came out when she sat with Yukio and Mayu inside the airport before they were to board. Mayu tearfully hugged Keiko as she tried to calm the younger girl with soothing words. Yukio sat across from them and watched wordlessly, his lips pressed together grimly.

“Daijoubu, Mayu. We'll see each other again,” Keiko told her, smoothing her long, dark hair.

“I don't want to leave, Keiko-nesan,” Mayu sobbed, wiping her tears away with the back of her hand.

“Don't think of it as leaving. Think of it as a long vacation,” Keiko suggested. Mayu folded her arms stubbornly.

“Demo--” she started to argue. Keiko gently shushed her.

“No buts. It is only a long vacation,” Keiko repeated, ending the matter. Mayu hesitantly nodded her head in agreement and hugged Keiko one last time.

“I'll miss you, Keiko-nesan,” she said before she left Yukio and Keiko alone. Yukio placed his elbow on the table and rested his chin on his hand gloomily, his eyes distant. Keiko resigned herself to watching him until he would break the silence. Ai shiteru, ai shiteru, ai shiteru…

“Kei, I want you to have this,” Yukio said, pushing a small music box to her. She was about to open it when Yukio placed his hand on top of hers.

“Onegai… Open it when… when… when I'm not here anymore,” he requested, his voice faltering. Keiko looked at him curiously.

“Hai,” she agreed. Yukio gave her a small smile and leaned back in his chair. Yukio… Ai shiteru, ai shiteru, ai shiteru… Keiko looked away. Why was she having these thoughts now?! Coward! If you don't tell him now, you'll never have a chance to later! You want him to go away not knowing how you really feel? Keiko cringed.

“Daijoubu desu ka?” Yukio asked, peering at her through concerned blue-grey eyes.

“Hai, daijoubu desu,” Keiko replied, grinning sheepishly. Great! Now he probably thinks you're a weirdo! They both sat in uncomfortable silence for a while.

“Kei--”

“Yuki--” they suddenly said in unison. Yukio smiled amusedly.

“You first,” he said. Keiko bit her lower lip and gathered up her courage. This was it, now or never.

“Yuki… I… I…” she stammered. Yukio looked expectantly at her. She breathed deeply.

“I will really miss you,” she said lamely. Coward! Coward! Coward! Yukio looked away awkwardly. Keiko hung her head, annoyed by herself for not being strong enough to tell him the whole truth.

“Not a day will go by that I won't think of you,” Yukio assured her, still refusing to meet her gaze. Keiko could feel herself blush.

“You will find a new friend and just forget about me,” she argued. Yukio said nothing as he finally looked into her eyes. Just then, the PA system rang out, calling passengers on Yukio's flight to board. Yukio bit his lower lip in frustration. He and Keiko stood up and Yukio shouldered his backpack. They walked together silently to where Yukio's parents and Mayu were waiting for them. When they were still out of earshot, Yukio hugged Keiko fiercely.

“Keiko, you may forget about me but even if your memories of our friendship fade into the back your mind, I will always think of you because… because it is difficult to forget the ones closest to our hearts,” he said. He leaned in close to her face, his mouth just inches from hers. Then, as if he changed his mind, he shifted his face and kissed her tearstained cheek. He headed towards his family as Keiko stared dumbly at his retreating figure. He stopped before the sliding doors, and turned to steal one last look at her. She could see the tears gathering in his eyes. He smiled at her for the last time and mouthed “Sayonara, Kei,” then he disappeared in the crowd. Keiko stayed to watch the airplane fly off and take with it a piece of her heart, leaving only emptiness, a void which could never be replaced. Then, she remembered the music box that Yukio had given her. She sat down in a nearby bench and carefully popped the lid open. A soft, eerily sad music started to play. The box's contents made her burst out in fresh tears. Inside it was a delicate silver locket. She pried it open and saw that each side contained smiling pictures of her and Yukio. She closed it and put the locket on, feeling her heart ache unbearably. Then, she picked up an envelope which lay at the bottom and tore it open. Inside were a handful of photographs and a letter. She skimmed through the pictures. They were all of her and Yukio. She lingered over a picture of her hugging a grinning Yukio from behind when they were at the beach with their other friends. She remembered that day. It had only been a month or so ago but it felt like a lifetime had passed since then. She slowly returned the pictures and read the letter deliberately, savoring each word.

 

Kei,

By the time you read this, I will already be gone. Separation is painful but I think we can get through this, even if we're so far away from each other. The bond of friendship cannot be severed by distance. Especially ours. Keiko… there is something important I want to tell you. But I am too cowardly to tell you in person. You never knew this but I was one of those that tormented the new kids. You could even say that I was the one who started it. I never told you because it brought up painful memories that I wanted to forget about and I was afraid that you would hate me if you knew. Your words that day touched my heart in a way that I never thought possible. I hope that you will be able to forgive me. You may not realize it but you've done more for me than I feel I could have done for you. I cannot imagine living without you but we all must learn to stand with our own two feet whether we want to or not, whether we're ready to or not. I just hope you won't have a hard time adjusting by yourself and that you will find a new friend to help you through rough times. It makes me so jealous to think that someone else would be there in my place, where I cannot be anymore, but I do truly hope you find a better friend to be there for you. Actually, there is something else I must tell you. Something of utmost importance. Ai shiteru… More than you will ever know.

Missing you already,

your Yukio

 

Baka! I will never find a better friend than he has been! Demo… he will never know. Because it's too late. It's too late tell him that he is more than just my best friend and that… I love him. Keiko stared at the letter and sat motionlessly, gazing into empty space as the music box's eerie melody carried around her, blanketing her in a whirlwind of memories.

 

your gaze always seemed to look far away

I felt that I wanted to protect you

 

“Ne! Yukio!” Keiko exclaimed exasperatedly, waving her hand in front of his face. Yukio stared at her, startled out of his trance.

“Nani?” he finally asked. Keiko crossed her arms in front of her chest with mock annoyance, frowning at him.

“You weren't listening to a single thing I said. Again!” she accused. Yukio looked confusedly at her, scratching the back of his head.

“Sure I was! Weren't you saying that… that… uh…” he fumbled.

“See?” Keiko proved.

“Hehehe… You were right, I was thinking of something else. Gomen ne,” he apologized, smiling sheepishly at her. He couldn't help but notice that she looked cute when she was pouting. Actually, he did hear what she said. She'd told him that she thought she liked Kyota, a classmate of theirs, and that he'd asked her out to the movies that weekend. Yukio didn't know why but that somehow made him feel more jealous than normal. Then, he'd spaced out, like he usually did when he started to think. Kyota… I guess he's not such a bad guy but… Dammit! Why do I feel like beating the kid senseless? He hasn't done anything wrong. He just asked Kei on a date. Nothing wrong with that, right? Right? Then, suddenly, it dawned on him. That's it. I want to beat the shit out of him because… because... Keiko suddenly nudged him painfully. He grimaced in pain and looked perplexedly at her.

“There you go again!” she complained.

“Gomen,” Yukio repeated, smiling sheepishly again.

“Hai, hai. No more spacing out, hai,” he joked. Keiko burst out giggling. Yukio couldn't help but laugh as well. Keiko sighed and stared at the lake which was glimmering from the sun's rays. She stretched out on her back and yawned. Yukio lay back next to her. He watched as the wind shipped stray strands of her hair around her face. She turned her head to face him and smiled. He somehow always found comfort in those beautiful hazel eyes.

“Kei…” he muttered.

“Nani?” she asked, looking at him seriously.

“Kei, don't go out with that Kyota,” Yukio replied, averting his gaze. Keiko sat up suddenly.

“Doushite?” she demanded.

“Well… You see… It's because… Erm…” he searched for the right thing to tell her. Nothing he could think of would have convinced her. He thought about lying but he knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he did. Sitting back up, he fixed his attention on the lake and sighed.

“I guess I don't really have any concrete reason,” he finally replied. Keiko suddenly hugged him, buying her face in his neck.

“I think I know why you didn't want me to go out with him, Yuki,” she whispered. Yuko gulped. Kami-sama! Was he that obvious?!

“And that is?” he asked dumbly. Keiko didn't answer right away. Half of him was slightly uncomfortable with how close they were but the other half enjoyed it. He was confused whether to push her away or hug her back. It was a raging battle in his mind. It took all his willpower to keep his emotions hidden behind a façade, something that had come easy to him over time. It was disconcerting to think that a girl could disorient him like that and break through the emotional barrier he had so carefully created. Even more unnerving was the fact that he knew Keiko didn't do it on purpose. In fact, she didn't know what she was doing to him even at that very moment.

“You were afraid that we would drift apart, weren't you, if I went out on dates more often?” she said. Yukio smiled with relief. Ahhh… So she doesn't know. Well, I want to keep it that way. He didn't reply immediately. He pondered on her words and answered carefully.

“Hai,” he replied, half-truthfully. Keiko hugged him tighter.

“Shinpai na yo, Yukio. I won't let anything come between our friendship,” she assured him. Yukio choked as he finally hugged her back. Nobody had ever been that nice to him, his younger sister excluded. He softly stroked her hair. Right then and there, he knew that Keiko would always hold a special place in his heart. He just didn't know that he was just as important to her as well.

 

even the days that we hurt each other seem precious

I'll never forget the fact that we believed in each other

the more I remember, my tears won't stop

I still want to see you after crying

 

Yukio glared outside his living room window, watching as Keiko got out of the passenger seat of a sleek black race car. A tall guy dressed in expensive leather shoes, designer slacks and a short-sleeved, button-down shirt emerged from the driver's seat and walked to her. He leaned in and kissed her. Yukio stiffened, watching wordlessly as the guy pulled away got back inside his car and peeled put of the Ikegami's garage. Yukio stormed outside his house and headed for Keiko, who blinked with surprise when she saw him.

“Where have you been?” he asked her softly. She stared at the floor, feeling the iciness of his voice.

“I was with Masashi. We had dinner at the yacht club,” she replied dumbly, confused. Why is Yuki so mad? It can't be only because it's so late. Something else must be making him so angry…

“The yacht club, huh?” he scoffed. Keiko continued to stare at the ground, still trying to figure out what was making Yukio so pissed.

“I bet it was more interesting than spending the night with a little girl who waited three hours for you to return from your little date,” Yukio told her as he left her alone outside her doorstep, never once raising his voice yet maintaining its chill. Keiko stared after him in shock, everything coming into place. Kami-sama! Mayu! I can't believe I forgot! We were supposed to have a sleepover tonight! How in the world could I forget! Baka! Baka! Baka! As she went inside, her parents, who had waited for her in the living room, bombed her with questions, worried about her safety, asking why she came home at such a late hour. She politely answered all their questions and wearily went to her room. She looked out her window, saw an owl land near Yukio's dark bedroom window, remembered his retreating figure and felt miserable. Not only did she manage to worry her parents senseless, she had hurt his best friend's younger sister, who also happened to be her good friend. She dropped to her bed and cried herself to sleep.

 

Yukio couldn't lie to himself. He wasn't pissed because Keiko had forgotten about his sister. Of course, that would have been enough reason to make him angry with her but... he had another reason. A secret reason that he dared not share with anyone. It was something that he barely even admitted to himself. He was pissed because he was too much of a coward to tell Keiko how he truly felt. He was angry at his cowardliness but could only take it out on the one person he cared about most. Grrr… That Masashi guy… he's so annoying… Who does he think he is, kissing Keiko like that? And after he dropped her off past her curfew! I would never do that! Well, she'll never know, will she? Because you are too chicken to ask her out! He lay on his bed and angrily ran a hand over his face. Closing his eyes, he tried to go to sleep. But sleep would not come. All he could think about was how he'd gotten so angry with Keiko, her scared expression, the tears that had gathered in her beautiful eyes, all because he, Yukio Kimura, the guy who calls himself her best friend was a jerk. DAMN!!! He shifted positions until he turned over on his side and gazed out his window just as an owl perched near it.

 

For the next few days, Yukio and Keiko saw each other in school but they barely spoke to each other. Yukio was embarrassed about his reaction and was too afraid to talk to Keiko, thinking that she would not easily forget how he blew up like he did that night. Keiko also avoided the Kimura household, too fearful to face Yukio and too ashamed to apologized Mayu. But they both knew that the awkwardness wouldn't last. They just didn't know when it would wear down. A few days later, Keiko decided to visit the lake to try and think of a way to make peace with Yukio and Mayu. As fate would have it, she found Yukio already there, peacefully lying down under the oak's shade with his hands locked behind his head. He looked up, hearing her approach, then lay back down. Keiko froze. Shimatta! I'll just slowly walk away and hope he doesn't get mad at me again. Keiko started to cautiously tiptoe away.

“Going away so soon?” Yukio asked, his eyes still closed. Keiko stopped abruptly and smiled sheepishly.

“Ah… Hai,” she replied. Silence. Keiko didn't know whether the silence was an invitation to stay or a signal for her to leave. She was just about to walk away when Yukio spoke again.

“Y'know, you don't have to go,” he told her. Keiko smiled, relieved, and sat down next to him. Keiko hugged her knees and rested her chin on top of her knee, staring at the calm lake, so opposite from the turmoil she had been feeling since that night.

“Yuki… gomen ne,” she choked out as tears rolled freely down her cheek.

“Eh?” Yukio asked, sitting up. He looked at her and saw that she was crying. He bit his lip uncomfortably and wiped her cheek his hand.

“Yamete kudasai. Daijoubu desu,” he whispered. Keiko smiled gratefully at him and leaned on his shoulder. Yukio put his arm around her shoulder and sighed.

“Actually, Kei, I think I'm the one who should apologize,” he told her.

“What I said to you… it was out of line… Gomen,” he added before she could interrupt. Keiko stared at Yukio. She threw her arms around him and hid her face in his t-shirt as she blushed.

“Nan desu ka?” Yukio asked.

“Nanimo,” Keiko replied breathily, smiling.

“Y'know… This might seem embarrassing now but there will come a time when we will laugh at this,” Yukio said out of the blue. Keiko laughed.

“Hai. Soo desu.”

 

As Keiko stared out at busy the runway, the letter, now damp with tears, clutched in her hand and the music box resting in her lap, Keiko smiled despite the pain because she knew that, if she and Yukio were truly meant for each other, fate would bring them together. Just as it had 5 years ago, in a vital point of their lives when Yukio the bully was about to be lost in the pain of his loneliness and she, Keiko, the new kid, was searching for someone to hold her hand and tell her that everything was okay. Yes. They would meet again. Someday, under a distant sky, they would meet again.

 

if I can see you one more time

I want to tell you my feelings from back then

no matter how lonely a night can be, don't give up

your dream will surely come true…