Fan Fiction ❯ The Beer Hutt ❯ Inner Turmoil ( Chapter 3 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Chapter 3 - Please enjoy.

(Saturday morning, 10:14am)

Raven hadn't gone straight to the Tower, deciding instead to walk by herself for a little while. She had to blow off some steam before she saw any of them; she didn't want to bite their heads off, and knew in her current state, in would be inevitable. She tried to ignore her emotions, kept telling herself it was no big deal, she was over it already; but the second she tried to relax, she felt like crying again. She kicked at some gravel lying in the street, then pulled her hoody closer around her. She wasn't particularly cold, but she wanted to block out the outside world.

She wanted to go back in time. So that she never would have gone to The Beer Hutt that night. Why did she feel the need to seek out companionship, anyways? She should have just dealt with life around the tower. Dealt with not fitting in, instead of trying to fit in elsewhere. Look what it had gotten her. Or at least back in time far enough to take back what she said to Jinx. Her eyes were beginning to water again. She silently growled; there were those pesky emotions coming back.

Why did she even care? Jinx was nothing, would probably have stabbed her in the back first chance she got. She knew that wasn't true; she knew it without knowing how or why she knew it, she just did. She kept telling herself she did the right thing, but in her heart she knew she was wrong.

`Focus', she reprimanded herself. `Ignore your emotions. Ignore.' But those pesky little buggers kept creeping back into the forefront of her mind. `Fine,' she grumbled to herself, `You won't go away on your own, I'll have to make you go away.' She immediately took flight towards the tower.

(1415 Ellis St., around the same time)

Jinx paced the apartment, wrestling with her conflicting emotions. She had chugged as much coffee as she dared and ate Aspirin like candy to remedy her hangover, but nothing helped. `I blame her! Damn you Raven, damn you and your headache inducing self!' She moaned to herself. `Hmph, last time I ever try to help any little do-gooders again!'

`Well, you did kind of coerce her to drink…' Jinx glared at her left shoulder, where she imagined Jinx-Conscience to be. `Where'd you come from, after all this time?' She silently inquired, but let it slide.

“It wasn't my fault! I was just trying to get her to loosen up, to smile for once. Geez”, she said out loud to the empty living room. Jinx thought back to that smile, which made Raven's entire face light up, and subconsciously grinned herself, before shaking her head and kicking those memories out.

`Stop that!' She glared at herself in the mirror.

`Was it worth it? Those few hours of seeing her happy in exchange for you feeling like crap now?' She hated to admit it, but yes. She hadn't felt as light and fluffy as she had last night in as long as she could remember. She'd had other girlfriends, true, but nothing came even remotely close to making her feel how Raven made her feel. But right now, even Raven's name made her sick.

`I was good, even! I didn't try anything naughty'. She sighed. `Maybe I should have, after all. Hell, the result couldn't have been worse, at least!' She laughed for a second, before becoming upset once more. She was pissed, yes, so very pissed, but her anger was dwarfed by the overwhelming sadness she felt. Her stomach felt hollow; hell, everything felt hollow. She thought she was justified in what she said to Raven, the nerve of her saying what she said first, but it didn't make her feel any better about it.

“I don't even know why!” She cried aloud once more, before huffing. `Damned do-gooder', she thought once more. `If only Raven hadn't been so funny, so smart, so freakin' sexy…' Jinx slapped herself. `I warned you about that!'

`Ya know', said Conscience, `Maybe she really did feel like you were just using her. I mean, you did kiss her without much warning this morning, and you did put her in your bed last night. A bit suspicious…'

`She kissed me back…'

`Even still, you started it.'

`What's your point?'

`Maybe it was just some silly misunderstanding. Maybe you should apologize.'

`Never!'

`Alright, you don't have to. You just might never find anyone who makes you feel like whipped cream and jell-o again.'

`What if I don't like feeling like whipped cream and jell-o? Huh, what then?'

`Dude, I'm Conscience, I know you like it.'

`Damn, sneaky, know-it-all little bastard.' Jinx growled, but found her gaze drifting

towards the phone.

(Titan Tower, immediately following above occurrences)

Raven hadn't felt like using the front door. She didn't really feel like talking to anyone, but decided she should at least inform them that she was back home. Now just to keep her temper from rising when she spotted Beast Boy…

Raven walked in through the front door after all the security scans were complete, silently hoping that no one was up. `Oh, great…'

All of the Titans were gathered around the kitchen table, bickering about breakfast once again.

“Dude, I. DON'T. EAT. HAM!”

“Then don't eat the ham.”

Beast Boy pointed to each of the items in turn as he called them out.

“Or milk! Or eggs! Or bacon!”

“Well, I don't eat curdled beans!”

Robin was about to take a bite out of his own ham when Beast Boy yanked it out of his hand, and threw it at Cyborg. The greasy meat hit it's mark, nailing Cyborg on the robotic side of his head, and slowly sliding down, leaving a shiny trail behind. Cyborg's electronic eye glowed a more brilliant shade of red, which wasn't at all a good thing.

Starfire watched, mouth agape, as Cyborg lunged at Beast Boy, cursing wildly. “Friend Cyborg, please refrain from killing friend Beast Boy!” She then turned to Robin. “Friend Robin, what does Cyborg mean by-“

Robin immediately cut her off. “Uh, nothing… we'll discuss it later. But right now…” Robin tried to pry Cyborg off of the giant squid now sitting in the middle of the kitchen, to no avail. At least, not until they all heard Starfire exclaim…

“Friend Raven, back at last!” Everybody stopped their fight to look to where Starfire was running, arms outstretched, to give Raven a big hug. However, Starfire slowed as she approached her, and finally dropped her hands at her sides. “Raven?”

Starfire could tell that something was wrong, as Raven looked pissed.

Raven walked right by her, without so much as a glance in her direction, while the guys were watching her pass by, not saying a word. They were all curious as to where she had been last night, and if she was fully recovered from her ailment, but knew better than to ask. Well, most of them.

“Hey, Raven, wait up!” He called after her. She proceeded along as though she had not heard him, but he still persisted. “Raven, what's up? Hold on a sec…” he grabbed her arm to try to get her to stop, but that was a really bad idea. Her powers shot him 20 feet backwards back down the hall, leaving him laying on his back in the middle of the kitchen, staring back at her, as the rest of the Titans silently watched her exit towards her room.

Beast Boy jumped up, wiping the dirt off his pants, then muttered, “What's up her butt?” before resuming his verbal attack on Cy.

“Next time, I cook. No more flesh for breakfast!”

“Well, that went well,” Raven sighed. She hadn't intended on doing that to the little bugger, but apparently her frazzled emotions weren't granting her the control she needed to refrain from it. All she wanted to do was sneak by silently, avoid any confrontations. Yeah, right; Easier said than done around here. She just hoped Beast boy didn't take it too personally.

Well, at least she finally here. She went to her dresser, and pulled out her mirror. She stroked the fine metal work, the beautiful engravings covering it, then got down to business. Crossing her legs, and floating a few feet off the ground, she began her chant.

“Azara-“ That was as far as she got. Apparently her emotions wanted to have words with her, too.

She landed quite a bit harder than she was used to on a platform made of rock. She grumbled, displeased at her fall, yet she waited patiently for the stone trail to form before her. She had obviously been down this road many times before. She walked a little ways, then began to look around her. There had to be someone else here… somewhere…

“Howdy, self!” Raven jumped nearly three feat in the air at the unexpected voice behind her, but tried to pretend like she had not be caught unaware.

“I knew you were somewhere around here. Look-“ Raven began. This was always hard for her, asking for help, even if it was from herself, “-I need you guys to help me with something.”

“Oh!” Happy's face brightened even more so, if it was even possible. “Advice, huh? Been a while.” She hugged Raven, who grudgingly returned it, then continued. “It's about the cute pink girl, isn't it?”

“Um… yeah.” Courage came up from behind Happy, and began to speak.

“Don't be such a wuss! Apologize! You know you want to. Look, it's easy. Just let me sit in the pilot's seat for a little while, and I'll take care of everything.”

Fear suddenly popped up from behind Raven, startling her once more.

“Don't do it!” She pleaded. “She can only hurt us. Look at how bad we hurt already, and this was after only one night. What's done is done, and is for the best.” She bit her lip and looked away, not wanting to make eye contact with the real Raven.

“Wait a second, it was… you? You're the one who made me say all that?” Raven felt her cheeks flush as she became angrier. She had thought she had been in control, and now she realized she had been duped by herself.

“Yeah, she's stronger than she looks. Took all of us to finally pull her back,” Courage glared at her. Fear still refused to look anybody in the eye.

“I am… so mad at you right now-“ Raven began speaking to Fear, but someone else popped up.

“You called?” Anger hissed, her red eyes glowing menacingly. Raven refused to even respond to her.

“But you have to understand, she's no good for you. Only pain can come of this,” Fear whimpered.

“Hey, if it means anything to anyone, I'm on her side,” Anger piped up, pointing towards the shivering girl.

“That doesn't help her case any, just so you know,” sneered Gross, who then picked her nose, and proceeded to eat what she found. Raven nearly gagged, but tried to ignore it. “I vote for her. I bet I could fart and she would still accept me. That's what you need, yeah. Someone you can belch, and fart, and walk around in your dirty undies with, and who would love you either way.”

“I went to the bar to find someone I could discuss something other than farts with, you realize.”

“Yeah, I know.” Gross shook her head. “It was quite unfortunate.”

“You are not helping our case,” spoke Inquisitive. “I, for one, shall place my vote for the pink one. She makes me question my own reality, and what I think I know. She is interesting, to say the least.”

Lust walked up, looking nearly giddy, clad only in bubble wrap. “You guys can't start this party without me.” Anger rolled her eyes. “Yeah, like it's any surprise who you're going to vote for. You're as transparent as whatever the hell that is you're wearing.” Lust pouted for a second, then resumed smiling.

“Well, I would argue, but you're probably right. That sexy little minx, Jinx, get's my vote, and rocks my boat.” She giggled at her own stupid joke, while everybody else moaned and rolled their eyes, finally agreeing on something, even if it was Lust's corniness. `Well, at least that explains some of the lame things I said last night', thought Raven.

“Yeah, and you know she can fight. Damn near single-handedly took you out first time you fought her,” reminisced Courage, eyes glazing over as she happily replayed past battles in her mind. “And she puts up a damn good fight every other time, too. She definitely gets my vote.”

“Aw, fuck her! She's an idiot! Damned pink hair, pink eyes… so much pink makes me sick,” Anger snarled, then attacked Courage; they both began battling it out. Happy just happily asked, “Hey, what's the matter with pink?” before spotting a butterfly, which she began to chase, laughing.

Raven groaned. She hated when she had to come to them for advice.

(1415 Ellis St., simultaneously)

Jinx was still pacing her room, scratching her head and thinking on what that damned Conscience guy had told her. `Hey, it's worth a shot, right? Right? The only thing I could lose is my pride'.

`Heh, don't have much of that left, anyways. Hive parading us around like prized cattle. Bastards.' She caught her eyes peering towards the phone once more, then quickly averted her gaze. `Well…' she looked back at it. She almost drooled at the memory of Raven, crawling towards her on the couch, almost begging her to…

“Fine, brain! Fine! You win, you win. I'll call,” and strode confidently to the phone once her mind was mind up. `See if I take your side next time, Conscience,' she mused to herself.

She picked up the phone, and once again began wondering what the heck she was doing as she dialed the ridiculous phone number, but her ponderings were cut short as a familiar voice answered the phone.

“Titan Tower, home of the Teen Titans, yada yada yada. What do you want?” Beast Boy sounded a bit less enthusiastic than Cyborg had the previous night.

“Um, is Raven there?” Jinx tried to lower her voice a couple of pitches to appear less conspicuous, but ended up just sounding silly.

She heard Beast Boy pull his ear away from the phone then call to Cyborg. “She wants Raven. Here, take it to her.”

“Heck, no! I don't have a death wish. Give it to Starfire.”

Starfire heard this from the couch, and immediately voiced her dissent about her being the one to take Raven the phone. “I do not believe that would be the best idea.”

“Well, what about-“ Beast Boy started, but Robin immediately called out “No” before he could complete his question. After a few seconds, Beast Boy came back on the line.

“Raven's not here.”

“Lies! Look, I really need to talk to her,” Jinx had forgotten to change her voice.

There was a pause. “Who is this, anyways? You sound familiar…”

“I'm… Jenny Jenkins,” she silently cursed at the stupid fake name, “Look, just ask Cyborg. I just really, really have to talk to her. You can't be that afraid of-“

“Alright, if you're so un-afraid, you come over here and give her the phone yourself.”

“Well, fine then. I'll just come over and tell her in person, since you're too much of a baby to take her a phone,” snapped Jinx.

“Alright, then!” retorted Beast Boy, arguing for no real reason.

“Okay, then. Bye!”

“Bye!” Both hung up the phones at the same time. Beast Boy breathed a sigh of relief, while Jinx's heart began pounding harder. Apologizing over the phone was one thing, in person…

`Can't puss out now… or that damned green weasel will win.' She furrowed her brow and bit the side of her mouth. `Gotta do what I gotta do.' She quickly bathed, dressed, and slowly made her way out the door. `Aw, what the hell.' She grinned, and allowed herself some happy recollections of last night to aid in her current endeavor. She skipped down the stairs, humming happily to herself. `Maybe it really will work out.'

(Titans Tower, from last time)

Raven had finally separated Courage and Anger, and stood up to give her final decision. Anger had three black eyes, and Courage had a bloodied nose and a sprained wrist. They glared at each other as Raven began to speak.

“I have decided… I will apologize to Jinx. I feel responsible. I never meant what I said to her, about my not being interested. I remember last night, and I was the idiot, not her. I've never felt like this before,” Raven smiled.

Timid finally showed up, and tried to talk her out of it.

“She'll never forgive you, you know. You were very mean, very cruel. I saw the pain in her eyes, and so did you. She'll hate you forever. She'll spit in your face if she sees you again, and you know you'll deserve it. You have already ruined your chances.”

Raven's smiled fell, but her resolve stayed strong. “Then that's what will happen. I'm going to try, at least. She deserves an apology, and I deserve the chance to find out if she'll forgive me.” Without another word, she closed her eyes, and was sitting back on her bed, more than ready to call Jinx to meet her somewhere.

She crawled off her bed and strolled over to her phone.

“Hello, operator, I need to get a number.”

“City, state, and name.”

“Jump City, CA, and her name is Jinx.”

“Last name?”

“Uhhh…”

“Do you not have a last name?”

“Well, I never thought to ask…”

“Look, there's at least 500,000 people living in Jump City, California. A first name ain't gonna cut it. Figure yerself out a last name, and then call.”

Click.

`Damn.'

Not willing to be deterred, she decided she would go see her at her apartment. She took a fast shower, and dressed in some of her non-combat clothing. She pulled on her shoes, brushed her hair, and made a futile attempt to fix it up in some way. `Hell, just a little bit of volume, anything!' She eventually gave up, cursing her uncooperative locks, and made her way towards the front door.

(Outside the Tower, same time)

Luckily for Jinx (and due a smidgeon to her powers, as well), the security cameras at Titan's Tower weren't working today. She could walk right up to the front door without being noticed. She smirked. `I am so good.' She walked up the steps, palms still feeling sweaty despite forcing most of her apprehension into the pit of her stomach.

`What do I say to whatever Titan answers the door, how do I explain all their cameras magically failing, what possible reason could I have to want to see Raven. Then they'll figure out who `Jenny Jenkins' really is, they'll know she stayed with me last night… what will they ask about that… oh, man.'

She gulped, then raised her hand to knock.

(End Chapter 3)