Fan Fiction ❯ The Complete History of Iron Chef (Abridged) ❯ Act 4 ( Chapter 4 )

Act 4: 2000 to Now



The queen of procrastinators actually finished this!



Houou: Hey! We survived the Y2K bug!

William: Kitchen Stadium opened on January 2000.

Houou: The Millenium Cup occurred at the time. This is one of the lesser-known specials, as FN has not aired it.

William: During the special, Kaga tried to introduce two new Iron Chefs to replace Sakai and Chen, but public reaction was mostly negative, and nothing came of it.

Houou: And then Food Network had a brilliant idea. Bringing the Iron Chefs to America.

Kobe: Road trip!

Sakai: I'm driving!

Michiba: We're taking a plane.

Kobe, Sakai: Oh.

Houou: That March, Kaga, Sakai, Kobe, Morimoto, and Michiba traveled to New York City.

William: Sakai stunned students with his apple peeling skills, while Michiba was stunned by the contents of a woman's freezer. The NY Battle occurred that night.

Houou: Morimoto went against Food Network star Bobby Flay at Webster Hall's makeshift Kitchen Stadium, with the theme rock crab.

William: Mishaps abound. Flay got electrocuted when water got on the floor.

Houou: But trust us, it got worse.

Flay: [gets up on cutting board]

Morimoto: 0_0 YOU DO NOT STAND ON THE CUTTING BOARD!!! [pulls Flay off]

Houou: And that is the great cutting board controversy, part 1.

William: Morimoto won the battle. More to come.

Houou: January 2001. The 21st Century Battle.

William: Two battles were held that day. The first challenger was Kandagawa Toshiro.

[Kandagawa comes in with something on his head.]

Kaga: What's with the ugly hat?

[Kandagawa takes it off to reveal a bald head.]

Everyone: SHOCK AND DISBELIEF!

Kaga: Cool, I can see my face in it!

[Everyone sweatdrops]

Kandagawa: I will have my revenge, Sakai-san!

William: Kandagawa challenged the King of Iron Chefs to Battle Red Snapper. The winner was…

Kaga: Kandagawa Toshiro!

Kandagawa: Hahahahahaha! I have had my revenge!

William: That was only round 1.

Houou: After the NY Battle, Bobby Flay disputed the verdict, claiming that his side of the makeshift Kitchen Stadium was sabotaged. So Kaga brought him to the real Kitchen Stadium for a rematch.

Morimoto: Don't stand on the cutting board this time.

Houou: Believe me, he doesn't.

Flay: [throws cutting board off counter and stands on counter]

Morimoto: I TOLD YOU NOT TO STAND ON THE CUTTING BOARD!

Flay: But I'm standing on the counter.

Morimoto: SAME THING!!!

Houou: Bobby Flay won that battle.

William: Later that year, UPN trine an American version called Iron Chef USA with William Shatner as chairman.

Houou: ICUSA lacked what made the original so great, and opinion was generally negative.

William: A special was planned for January 2002. But Kaga was busy acting in Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and couldn't be there.

Random Fuji Worker: Let's kill of the Chairman!

William: So at the beginning of the Japan Cup, a funeral/memorial service was held for Chairman Kaga, with Fukui reading the eulogy. Motoki Masahiro played Kaga's nephew/the new chairman.

Houou: Again, not aired by Food Network yet.

William: And then we enter the Dark Ages of Iron Chef.

Houou: Not much happened. No shows, no specials, nada.

William: It is noteworthy to mention that Iron Chef turned ten years old, and Iron Chef fanfiction began to rise.

Houou: Fast forward to April 2004.

Random FN Worker: Let's make our own Iron Chef! It'll be better than UPN's!

William: Food Network announced its new special, Iron Chef America: Battle of the Masters. Three of FN's top stars were made America's Iron Chefs and would go against two of Kaga's Iron Chefs.

Houou: Food Network decided to ignore the Japan Cup and introduced Mark Dacascos as Kaga's nephew, and implied that Chairman Kaga was alive, well, and sent Morimoto and Sakai to battle Bobby Flay, Mario Batalli, and Wolfgang Puck.

William: FN surprised everyone with their first battle: Sakai vs. Flay. The clanking you hear is everyone's jaws hitting the ground because they expected a Morimoto/Flay re-rematch. The theme was trout.

Sakai: Let me sum it up in three words. Trout Ice Cream.

Flay: And that's probably why you lost.

Houou: Round two was Morimoto vs. Batalli. The theme was spiny lobster.

Batalli: [weird look on face]

Morimoto: Ooookayyyy…[edges away from Batalli]

Houou: How Batalli won, I don't know.

William: Iron Chef Chen was supposed to come and battle Puck. But he just opened a new restaurant and couldn't come, so Morimoto battled him in Battle Egg.

Puck: Dang it, I wanted to battle Sakai.

Houou: Maybe next time, Wolfgang. But hey, at least you won. The last battle was a tag team, with a bit of a twist.

Mark: America vs. Japanese is so boring. So, Batalli and Sakai, you're a team…

Batalli: Yay!

Sakai: Oooookayyyyy…[edges away from Batalli]

Mark: And Morimoto and Flay, you're the other team.

Morimoto: [grabs Flay by the shirt so they are inches apart] Stand on anything this time, and I will torch your pants.

Sakai: He will, too.

William: Despite mishaps on their side, Morimoto and Flay won that battle. [thinks] Maybe Flay's an accident magnet.

Houou: Argument has gone on whether ICA was fixed or not. The final conclusion made on Iron Fans Online was that the battles were fought fair, most of the judges just were not the best choices to judge.

Ted Allen: I take offense.

Houou: Not you.

Ted Allen: Oops.

William: That's Iron Chef History, up to today, semi abridged.

Houou: Compared to a school course, anyway.

William: When anything else happens, we'll add it to the books.``

Everyone: So for now, bye!