Fan Fiction ❯ The Dying Soul ❯ The Dying Soul ( Chapter 1 )

[()]Title [()]

The Dying Soul

[()]Summary[()]

[I try to make the pain go away, but it refuses. I want things to go back to normal but I'm afraid that they will never happen.] When he starts to think there is only one way out of his pain and haunted memories, can a certain girl save him? [Oneshot]

[()]Disclaimers[()]

I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Square-Enix/Squaresoft and Disney Interactive rightfully do. I do not own the song which I found posted on my friend's site but I do own this story. Think twice before copying it because I have copyrights and I'm not afraid to use them! But if you ask, feel free to copy. : )

[()]Author's Note[()]

Argh… I'm trying to post my fics from a different site but this site won't accept my italics, bold, and center… why? Can you guys help me so it can look better please? Thankies!

--This is my first `dark' fic that I've ever written and it's about Sora coming back to Destiny Island but he's changed for the worst, hence the title. Anywhos, he thinks back on a secret he holds to himself, and when he feels as though he needs to `die' can Kairi save him? The song used in this fic is where I got my idea from; On the Way Down by Ryan Cabrera

----

I slammed the door behind me as I stormed in. I could hear the cries from outside telling me to come back out but I refused to listen. Right now, not even hearing that I just won the lottery would make things better. It has been a week since I returned from the "incident" and I have yet to crack a smile. It's not like I don't want to, no that's not it at all, I just can't do it anymore. It's like everywhere I go there is a memory, or a reminder I should say, that is reminding me of the past. The past that I absulutly hate.

Sick and tired of this world

There's no more air

Tripping over myself, going nowhere

Waiting, suffocating, no direction

I took a dive and

And the only reason why I came back to these islands is for her. There is nothing here that I care for besides her. My mother has died, my soul has died, and my friends; I don't think they give a rat's ass if I came back or not, just as long as their lives are okay then everything's fine. If someone told me that everybody died while I was away, I wouldn't cry for a soul but her's. I wouldn't sacrifice a moment of pain and suffer if it mant her safety. That's what you do for love but I think she thinks I don't hold that emotion for her anymore. But I do, little does she know...

I once told her that if she was ever saddened then she would come to me, I even made her promise to do so, but what if... What if I'm the reason for her tears? What if I'm the cause for all her pain? Then what is she suppose to do then? ...Well, that's exactly what's going on. I can hear her voice go down as I don't laugh, and I know what she means when she says "I need to go use the restroom." Excuse me, I need to cry. And how do I know? Because I'll then sit by the door and listen to the muffled cries she lets out as she softly says "why...? why did he have to change?" And I'm the only person that knows why, the only person that had to hold the burden of seeing what wasn't made to be seen by eyes, and the only person that cries from inside because I can't change.

I try to make the pain go away, but it refuses. I don't want to be cold and distant, but I can't change. I want things to go back to normal but I'm afraid that they will never happen. I have witnessed to much; death, pain, blood, suffer, and most of all fighting. I will never again lay a finger on another soul for with my own bare hands I have killed thousands. Even when I had a chance to run away from the Heartlesses, I chose to stay and kill them off-due to my own pleasure. One hit and-Poof; they were gone forever. I have to admit that sometimes I had no choice but to kill them, but that was an rare cimcumstance.

But the one thing that brought me to this moment was something that happened just moments before and it was my fault. I had caused yet another stream of tears down her beloved face and had caused her yet another moment of pain... She had asked why I changed so drastically like I have and all that I replied was "if you have a problem with how I act or do things, then how `bout I leave so you can stop your foolish crying." I got slapped, no surprise there, but her words... her words were what hurt most.

"'Doyou know what it's like to be in love with you Sora? It's like taking me to the top of the highest mountain and showing me the entire world and saying..."this is everything you can't have"' Never in my life had I felt so terrible about myself until that very moment. So now as I sat down on my bed with a gun to my head, the only thing that is moving besides my trembling hands is tears. Tears that has shown for the first time in years, tears that needed to be out badly. And the one memory I wished that wouldn't replay in my head, did; it was the reason why I had became the way I am.

----

It all started about a year ago, half of the time I had been seperated from Kairi, and we; Goofy, Donald and me, had received a message. It said that there a planet called Halo that needed our help and that it had good but yet bad news. The good was that there was no Heartlesses remaining on the planet, instead only one unknown. The bad was that there was a high risk of us dying physically or emotionally; and either way your screwed if you died of one of those. But little did I know that the only thing that would get us killed was my cockiness, and that my friends; did. When Goofy and Donald protested on not going, I laughed in their faces and said "nothing could kill me for I am the almighty Keyblade Master." I wish I would of changed my mind back then.

Well, the first thing that went wrong was the landing. Yes... I have to admit that I am crappie lander; just ask anybody whose been in a ship with me, but because I was too cocky to let Donald land; the Gummi Ship had been destoryed so much, due to the landing that it simply wouldn't start. In other words, it died as one might say. But being the optamistically creature he was, Goofy reassured that we would find another Gummi Ship while Donald cussed "phewy" and I mumbled words that I shouldn't of- under my breath. But we never found it.

I'm not sure when it happened, but our hearts seemed to dry, to turn hard. Goofy no longer laughed, I no longer smiled, and Donald ceased to talk. Riku was never seen, nor was King Mickey, and by then we had forgotten The Door to the Light. And then one day...Darkness had corrupted...

It was dark. Donald and Goofy easily accepted this new found home, but it was so depressing, so hard and cold.. And the day we tried to leave the world was a day that I would never forget. It wouldn't let us leave. We tried...and we struggled but we could find no way out. Slowly things became clouded, and we found ourselves wanting to alone, away from others, away from our friends.

And then one day, I was no longer in the dark, isolated world. I was in a place full of black, only the glowing mist at my feet to light my way. And the moment I took a step forward, the moment I moved an inch of my body, I felt chains attack my arms and legs, wrapping tightly around my neck, choking me. For days we simply hung in the air, chains of black bound around our necks and wrists.

And then the unknown came, we then knew from that moment on that we were doom. The saddest part was that we didn't care, we didn't care if we died or anybody else did. Even as he tortured us day after endless day, and I heard their cries in pain as they heard mine; we didn't care about anybody...not even ourselves.

He had pleasure on torturing us as much as I had on killing Heartlesses. And there was nothing we could do from stopping him from doing so, it was the first time I felt utterly felt weak. He would hit with fists, sometimes he would break a few bones here or there; but before we could die of being beaten to dealth, he would give us enough potion to live just a bit longer. And oh had I wished that I would wake up only to find that this journey was nothing but a dream and I would wake up in Destiny Island; but I never woke up because it wasn't a dream, it was reality.

In the beginning I remember once that, I think... it was Goofy or Donald that yelled after the unknown that he should stop his evil doings after they had received their beatings. The unknown turned around and chuckled darkly and sliced their voice box so that it would conclude on that they couldn't talk anymore; minutes went by as the victim started gagging and blood slide down their throats, but the unknown yelled for him to stop or that he would kill us all. Well, the blood suddenly stopped running and no one talked after that small incident.

Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months and everyday we would receive our beatings. Soon my memeories were fading away, leaving my mind and all I thought about was surviving one more day and that maybe I could return back to Kairi. Memories of my childhood, my friends, Destiny Island, and anything else that meant insignificant or significant meaning to me disappeared. But the one thing I remember was a promise... "I'll come back, I promise.", "I know you will!"

On the way down

I saw you, and you saved me from myself

And I won't forget the way you loved me

And on the way down

I almost fell right through

Then one day by pure luck I first thought, sunlight was touching my face. I opened my eyes; that chains that once binded me in the air were gone, the Darkness had been killed by the Light, and Goofy and Donald, they... they were gone too. I lifted my head and my eyes darted from one place to another but still their bodies had been unfound. And then from behind I heard a melancholy laugh. I turned and faced the unknown in my fighting stance, it was time for him to suffer.

"Are you sure you want to kill me?" The unknown laughed as he walked over to me with the same cockiness I had before. I started backing up and withen seconds the pain I once endured earlier came surginging back to me; I cried out as I wenced and his laughter echoed around me once more. "A pity that we couldn't of been friends Keyblade Master, you were such a good soul, or so I thought. Instead you are a lier and should perish because of your actions."

He pulled a Brotherhood sword from his belt and spun it around; stopping only an inch in front of my eyes. My breathing went to a hault and I could sense him smirking as we both knew the outcomes of the fight; I would lose automatically, no doubt about it, all that needed to be known was win. "But guess what? I will not kill you, you will suffer soon enough; but, but before you perish you must know who I am first."

A moment passed since words were exchanged, silence was consuming the area. But suddenly, I broke the silence; "Show yourself!" I growled. "You do not frighten me in anyway, I do not know your darkened soul so why would it matter if I found out who you were; you're the one is suffering, not me!"

"So sure are you? Heh, well your wrong-dead wrong." He pulled down his hood and I saw the one person I least expected it; Riku. He was the one that had tortured me day after endless day; the one who once promised me that he would protect me, not hurt me; and the one who I still considered my best friend. My eyes widened and I couldn't speak, I was speechless. A smirk was upon his lips and his eyes-when looking into them I realized that he truly didn't have a soul anymore. "Why?" I whispered as he did nothing but stand there and smirk. "I HATE YOU!" I screamed as I ran towards him with my fist in the air, but he deflected it like I was nothing but one of our childhood friends where he could knock them out with one punch. I fell; to the pavement ground, trembling terribly.

"Come on Sora, I didn't think you gave up that easily," he said with pure amusment. I didn't move, fury and anger was the only thing going through my mind, but Riku didn't seem to mind my silence instead he took the chance to say his final words. "Here you sit there in nothing but pure self-pity, but have you forgotten everybody you caused pain to. Huh? What about Kairi, did you forget about her? Do you know that she cries every night, or that she hasn't smiled since you made that childish promise to her?" He paused, collecting his thoughts. "Heh, I sometimes wonder if you still care for her, but then again, you probably never did."

I turned and faced him; glaring and my hands had turned into fists. "Don't you dare fucking say that Riku, I love her more then anything in the world. And don't you dare act as though you don't, or didn't know that, I loved her more then you ever could. And your only ticked off since she loved me instead of you. Well guess what? I don't give a fuck about you or what you think; to tell you the truth, no matter how hard I tried to stay friends with you, you refused my offer. So don't blame your life on me, that was your own doing."

"That's where your wrong Sora," he snapped back; finally our true feelings were coming out. "I'M the one that tried to keep this friendship going, but I guess you just didn't care about me since you stared all goggily-eyed at Kairi and did everything you could to make sure I wasn't around her. Well yes, I'll admit I had feelings for her, but I AT LEAST gave you enough respect of letting you know that I still cared for you as a friend, but I guess that wasn't good enough."-he paused-"but what about the other people you screwed over Sora? Like Goofy and Donald; I thought that ther were your `friends'?"

"You killed them didn't you, you basterd!"

"No," he whispered softly. "You did." He repulled his Brotherhood sword and his fingers went up and down the blade; causing him to bleed, but he didn't seemed faze one bit. His eyes stayed upon the weapon and I soon found myself staring at it too. I went to say something, but he got there before I did: "They told you not to come to Halo but yet you did because you thought were better then everybody else, but here's some news that you might of not known; your not and never will be. But the person you truly killed, was... was me." His voice was strangely calm, sending chills up and down my spine.

He looked up; eyes glossy from soon-to-be-coming tears. "Do you know how bad I suffered Sora? Well I do. Remember when the Heartless first came to Destiny Island,"-I nodded my head-"And remember how I put out my hand for you to join me as the Darkness swallowed me? Well when you ran towards me; your hand out to grab mine, I first thought that you were trying to join me, but I soon realized-much after all that took place, that you were trying to save me. Can't you see Sora? You were pure once before, just not now. You've changed as much as my heart has darkened. Well now there's no hope for me, and I'm scared that there's no hope for you either-"

Been wondering why it's only me

Have you alwaysbeen inside waiting to breathe

It's alright, sunlight on my face

I wake up and yet, I'm alive 'cause

He turned, his back towards me. "Riku there is, but-"

"There are no buts don't you realize? Kairi is dying from the inside due to US; we act as though we are so different but in reality, we are but the same. We both try to be the best at everything, we both close off from others easily, and we both are dark, secretly or not. Well only one of us can live,"-he raised his blade and my breathing went to a hault once more-"And if you die then Kairi will only suffer more and part of her wil l die secretly, since both your hearts are connected; so that's no good. But if I die,"-he paused, only staring at me as a single tear slipped down his face.-"if I die then you can go back to Destiny Islands and live happily ever after with Kairi and all will be good."

"R-Riku... no, I won't let you kill yourself; your still my best friend! Riku please don't do it, I'm so sorry; please don't!"-Tears began whisping down my face, my pleas were true in the heart-"Please," my voice soon became a whisper. "You deserve it much more then I do, or ever will. Without you Kairi would be dead, without you I would be dead; YOU'RE THE hero, not me. Just please, please just take my life instead."

"I was wrong, you are a good soul Sora." He smiled, his lower lip still quivering and then suddenly the pushed the blade through his heart. At first everything went still, the only thing moving was blood, but then everything went fast and he fell upon me; blood gushing out from his wound. We fell; his lifeless body in my arms; I continued to scream his name out in terror until his faint breathing went to a hault. And it was due to me.

----

Everything was my fault now days; arguments, tears, pain, dealth...everything. Why had I been born-all I did was bring suffer to people. Riku, Goofy and Donald all died because of me-and they were my only friends and the only person left was Kairi. And there is no way I would let a thing cause her pain-let alone me. So there was no other choice, Kairi still believed that Riku was alive, I still haven't told her about the incident between him and I, so she had hope there. And with me finally gone, she can move on and get the love she truly deserves.

One. I wiped the remaining tears dripping down my face and closed my eyes.

Two. I took in my final breath of air and accepted my Fate, the Fate I deserved.

Three. The sound of a door opening echoed through my ears and my

finger caught hold of the trigger.

"SORA!"

Kairi.

I opened my eyes and I found myself to be correct, it was indeed Kairi. Tears were flowing down her face as well as mind, I didn't wanther to see me like this. I was a wreck. And now, now she will be haunted by this memory of me forever...

"P-Put the gun down Sora"-she said in between sobs as she slowly walked over towards me.-"You don't want to do something that you'll regret-that I'll regret."

Cold droplets of water fell from my blue eyes; cooling my red face from the heat caused by stress. "Kairi it's not what you think, I'm just fooling around." I said all too quickly; but she didn't even believe what I just said. When we were younger we could look into each other's eyes and know if something was wrong or not. And out of all the things that changed between us, that was not one of them.

"Sora, don't do it if you think your trying to help me-in fact just don't do it at all. You can't die!"-she was now extremely close and I could tell she was choosing her words rather carefully now-"because if you die, then I'll die with you. We're connected by the hearts, remember? Whatever you feel, I feel. I've already lost everybody else, and I can't lose you; so please, put the gun down." Her words were not a command, they were a plea; a pleafor me to stay, not leave; why do I continue on making mistakes.

On the way down

I saw you, and you saved me from myself

And I won't forget the way you loved me

And on the way down

I almost fell right through

But I held on to you

My body was trembling, especially my hands, and slowly the gun drifted away from the floor and I dropped it on the ground. Before Kairi even had a chance to speak another word, I had immediately pulled her into my arms. And even then she tried, but I was too busy apologizing to her. I wouldn't let go. And then she stopped trying and with one hand stroked my hair, the other wiped away the tears and she then whispered to me that is was okay.

We stood there like that for many minutes before I stopped apologizing and all that I did was give out loud sobs, but she continued doing everything that she did before and for the first time in my life I felt loved. Soon my sobs became slient tears and the tears became nothing but a few droplets of tears here or there.

"I-I'm s-so sorry Kai, I-I was just-"

"Shhh, it's okay Sora," she cooed motherly. "I'm not mad at you Sora, it's my fault that you did what you were going to do; if anybody is to blame it's me. It's just that since you've changed, I'm just not sure if you love me anymore, so I'm sorry for freaking out." I grabbed her shoulders and gently leaned her out of the embrace; our eyes not leaving one another.

"I may not be the same Sora, you once knew. But one thing with will remain the same. I will always care about you. You must never forget that. No matter what happens, no matter what I do or say. I will always love you Kai-you're my best friend and there is no one in this world I care more about in this whole entire world, but you."

She smiled, a warm smile. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes and a pang of sworrow hit my heart-I caused her tears yet again? I opened my mouth to say something but she put her finger on it and softly shook her head. "Sora," she paused, collecting her thought. "There is no one I would rather here that from but you.-"

I was so afraid of going under

But now, the weight of the world

Feels like nothing, nothing

[down, down, down]

You're all I wanted

[down, down, down]

You're all I needed

[down, down, down]

You're all I wanted

You're all I needed

"And you want to know why I waited for you for all those years? It wasn't because of the promise you made to me, no, it was because I loved you and I knew you would return to me. Though you don't believe you fully have, you have. You've changed because of all the horrors you've went through to get back to me. Now you might never be that fun loving teen you once were, but you will always, always, be Sora to me."

I grinned at her, the grin I knew she wanted to see so much that she almost needed to see it. And this time, this time I didn't fake it.

And I won't forget the way you loved me

All that I wanted, all that I needed and now

How Kairi knew of my plannings, I have no idea. But as I held her in my arms I knew that nothing could come between our love. Absulutly Nothing. And so, slowly, I know that I will become the person I wish to be. But Life is just so short-by choice or not-so kiss slowly, Love deeply, forgice quickly, forget the past but always remember what it taught you.

On the way down

I saw you, and you saved me from myself

And I won't forget the way you loved me

And on the way down

I almost fell right through

But I held on to you

----

Author's Note: Okay I have to admit that originally it had NO cuss words, the ending was much more sappier;just my opinon, and the whole scene with Riku went like this: Basically Riku pulled down his hood, took out his Brotherhood sword, and literatly after pulling it out said "you never took care of her" and then killed himself. Literatly, there wasn't even a scene. The whole story was about two pages shorter also. Oh and since I've wrote the "other" author's note, I have totally cooled down! And I saved it! YAYNESS!

Well there's my `dark' fic, hopefully you guys liked it. Hm... I'm more of a total sappy writer then dark, tell me what yah think. Well have to go...PLEASE REVIEW!

Lub yah lotz,

Lvkishugs