Fan Fiction ❯ The Good Book Lied ❯ introductions ( Chapter 1 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: okiayu_kaori 
Fahren explains it all. Meet the neglected students of Heaven and Hell, and learn what it is to be an Angel-in-training in the Days of the Future.
Anime/Manga: Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Post-apocalyptic / Romance | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 09.14.2002 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.4K | Visits: 244 | Status: Completed
Fahren explains it all. Meet the neglected students of Heaven and Hell, and learn what it is to be an Angel-in-training in the Days of the Future.
Anime/Manga: Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Post-apocalyptic / Romance | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 09.14.2002 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.4K | Visits: 244 | Status: Completed
2..introductions.
We don't get our wings until we graduate from the Academy. Then we get to float up to Heaven and be good little soldiers and participate in the war between Good and Evil, and all of that fun, cliché stuff. I hope I didn't surprise you with that whole "God is a girl" thing. But there's more, and this part might really throw you.
All Angels are girls. Surprised? And all Demons are guys, but I think all guys are Demons, personally. Heh. There are a few exceptions to the gender rule, but only because sometimes the Chosen change their minds. But they aren't special - the Demons who have a change of heart are just punished more, and the Angels who want to be Demons get sent to Hell - but there's no partying. Just pain. And that's one reason I'm sticking with the wing-plan.
However, this draft business was total crap. I don't remember how I died. Very few Angels do, but I don't, and all I know is, I was sleeping really nicely when some holier-than-thou Seraphim came floating down with this REALLY bright light to wake me up. Ever been woken up in the morning when your Mom pulled open your blinds and flooded your room with sunlight? This was 100 times worse, and more, I was completely confused. What war? What Demons? Angels? Who cares, let me sleep!!!
But this chick - I think her name was Harmony or something equally as corny - dragged me up to Heaven and by the time I'd fully Awakened and had my coffee, I'd already heard more than I had needed to hear. I'd been drafted. Oh, goody. Just what I need, an Afterlife.
As if the first time around hadn't sucked bad enough, I get to do it again. Joy.
I guess you could consider me a sophomore in the Academy, since I've been here about two Earth years. Things go a lot slower in Heaven, but that's because Heaven's got that whole Eternity thing going on. It's fun, but tedious. You know, "sophomore" means "wise fool". That's why I think it's a really stupid term. So I'll just say I've been at the Academy for two years, and you'll know what I'm getting at.
And since the Demons are guys, and the Angels are girls, and there are students from both places in this one dorm building - that means "co-ed", baby. It'd be much cooler if Demons weren't such blood-sucking freaks, but evil's their thing, I guess. It's just as wrong of me to rag on them for being evil as it is for them to rag on me for being good. Am I really that good? I know I talk a big game, but my heart's in it. I'm starting to like the Angel life. When all this is over and we've won though, God and I are gonna have a long talk about a little something called "foreshadowing". She could have given me a better warning than I got, you know?
Today we're supposed to do the whole "meet your neighbors" thing. Ugh. Guess now's my chance to meet Sara and Jill and find out why Elspeth's so darn special. I hear Blue getting dressed in our room. She's probably getting all Angel-ed out, like always. She even wears this little set of fake feather wings and a tinsel halo. I used to think it was dorky, but it's growing on me. Blue can be cute, when she wants to be.
"Fahren, we need to hurry! Harmony said on the intercom that we needed to be early!" she shouts to me from the bathroom. I guess I could put on some shoes, or something. I never really care what the other students think of me. I'm not gorgeous, but without makeup I don't think I'm that hard on the eyes, so all that primping business is out of the question. At least, it is when we're in a hurry, and apparently we are.
Blue flies out of the bathroom and heads back to the bedroom, and I start to turn out the lights. It's always good to save electricity. Yeah, even in the year 2106, we students get shafted on technology. Old fashioned light switches and regular wall outlets. We got screwed. I had it better when I was human.
She's grabbing her backpack o' church pamphlets and I see that she's wearing the wings like I thought she'd be. I guess she'll have to carry her backpack. No sense in covering her wings with her backpack, so I reach out to take it. "Gimme that, I'll wear it," I say, trying to force a grin. Might as well look happy, you know?
"Great!" she chirps, and we leave the apartment, locking the door behind us. Through the stairs under my feet I can see people flooding into other apartments, a sea of students. It doesn't seem like that many people could possibly live here, but with such crappy accomodations, it wouldn't surprise me if 6 people were shoved into each of the lower-level apartments. I bet Hell was cheap and tried to save some money. Jerks.
"Are you coming?" Blue says to me, her hand in a knocking position in front of the door. We're now standing in front of Elspeth, Sarah, and Jill's apartment. It seems like Blue got awfully dressed up just for going across the hall. Stupid.
"Go ahead, knock, I don't care," I say, crossing my arms and leaning over the railings to watch the people below. I catch a few male students filtering through the sea of people. It's so funny that we can all walk side by side, knowing that we'll all be killing each other in a few Earth years. Kind of weird, kind of sad.
The door opens and a sour number of a girl is standing there, black hair in low pigtails, sucking on a Blow Pop. She looks rather unamused. "Yes?" she says, the cherry sucker warping her speech. Her voice grates on my nerves immediately. I already don't like her.
"Uhm..." my roommate begins, a bright smile on her reddening face. Blue's not really all that shy, but she does have that whole ditzy-blonde exterior that just forces her to act like an idiot, I suppose. I'd better step in to save her from saying anything else moronic.
"We're supposed to come across the hall and meet you. I hope that's not a problem. If we don't follow orders, we'll get in trouble. So it's either your place or ours -- what'll it be?"
The girl at the door, who I know is Elspeth, stares at me for a moment. She seems like she's feeling threatened by my very presence. After she's had her fill of glaring at me, she takes the sucker from her mouth and opens the door a little, waving us in. The apartment is unusually tidy, except for one corner with a chair, a makeup tote, and several piles of clothes. They must be Elspeth's; Jill is terrified of marring her skin with makeup, and Sara, being a braniac, has got to be a clean freak. Joy, more reasons to dislike Elspeth - she's a total pig.
"Sara, Jill!!!!" Elspeth shouts, flopping down on the couch with a schoolbook. I look at the page and see that she's studying the Koran. Oh, what a surprise - she's copying Sara's homework. That's nice and fair. I have to clench my fists to keep from blowing up at her. I hate cheaters. I really, really hate cheaters.
Jill comes out of the bathroom, looking meek, yet annoyed. She walks straight into her room and the door slams behind her.
"Well, don't I just feel welcome," I mumble under my breath. Blue glances at me, and I can feel her discomfort. Aura-reading is a talent I come by naturally. I think I could even do it when I was still alive. Blue's feeling rather scared right now, and I don't blame her. This place has all the warmth of a freezer and all the comfort of a doctor's office. Real home-y.
A girl who I assume to be Sara appears from the small kitchen area, carrying a mug of tea. She sits at the lone barstool at the counter, her eyes on Blue and I. I catch a hint of a smile on her face. "Sorry we're not too talkative - school and all that, you know. I saw outside, it's quite a mess."
"Yeah," I murmur, sticking my hands in my jean pockets. "It's really stupid that they don't do this by apartments, you know. Sending everyone out at once was a dumb idea. But it seems Heaven and Hell really like dumb ideas lately."
I am interrupted (thank God, I was sounding like such a moron) as Jill's door opens again. She comes down the hall, not looking at any of us, and walks into the kitchen for a glass of water.
"Fighting with the scale again, freakazoid?" Elspeth says to Jill, without looking up. I don't curse much, because it's against the whole Heaven rulebook, but Elspeth's turning out to be a real bitch. Jill doesn't seem affected.
"Bite me, O Harlot of Eternal Sin and Damnation," Jill grumbles, taking a sip of her full glass of water and then pouring it out. Elspeth ignores the biting remark and continues copying down Sara's homework. Looking at the thin, skin-and-bones Angel, I have to say that for the first time since we arrived here, I'm a little shocked. Jill is much thinner than I'd thought from all the gossip. (Yes, Angels gossip too.) Her emerald green sweater falls over her hands as if she had deliberately bought it 5 sizes too big, and her blue jeans cling desperately to her bony hips, baggy all the way down to her bare, tiny feet. Her dirty-blonde hair is pulled up on top of her head and messy strands have fallen into her eyes. She's practically emaciated. It makes me wonder what she was like before she died and got drafted. Maybe she was like this before, and the mannerisms just carried over. Or maybe...
"I said, would you like a glass of tea?" I hear Sara say to me, loudly. I feel like a moron again. Everyone is looking at me. I wonder how many times she had to ask that.
"Ehm, yeah, thanks. Sorry. I'm just... really out of it lately."
Elspeth snorts and gets back to cheating. After a moment of scribbling something down, she turns her head to the kitchen and gestures to Sara, who has begun doing what few dishes there are. Elspeth seems like the type to eat with her friends and not in the dorm, and it's kind of obvious that Jill doesn't like food much. "Hey, did you hear about the new Demons in the lower level?" Elspeth grins.
I can only see half of Sara's face from where I'm standing, but even through her glasses, she looks annoyed. "Yes, I saw them. Handsome and evil, just like all Demons are. When will you learn to stop searching for trouble, Elspeth?"
Sara comes out of the kitchen and hands me my tea. It smells of orange and is really hot, burning my shaking hand, but I'm too busy watching Elspeth for her reaction to Sara's comment to notice the pain. The two seem to have an uneasy commeraderie, but poor Jill -- oh screw that, Jill seems more bitter than I am, and I don't take pity from anyone.
Blue seems to feel REALLY out of place now, leaning against the wall by the door. The apartment feels smaller than ours, but only because I've never been stuffed in a school-regulation apartment with five Angels before. We're really a ragtag bunch, and I blame that on Heaven's drafting board. _I_ sure wouldn't pick me if I was looking for potential soldiers. What makes me so special?
"I said..." Sara sighs, looking at me again. Now I REALLY feel stupid. Way to go, Captain Zombie. Zone out again, and look like a vegetable. This is how you make friends?
"Oops. God, I'm a loser, I'm sorry. What were you saying, again?" I run a hand through my dark hair, pushing it out of my eyes and holding it there. Sara doesn't seem upset, but something is definitely on her mind. Something's probably ALWAYS on her mind, she being the bookworm that she is.
"I said, do you have any idea what classes you're going to take next semester? I hear they're incorporating a new lesson plan, at least for the distinguished achievement program," Sara says. As we begin discussing school, her smile brightens. Brainiac.
"You're doing the distinguished achievement program?" I inquire, taking a sip of my way-too-hot tea. It burns my tongue, but I keep talking. "No big surprise. I would, if Honors Morals wasn't so difficult. I hear the teachers are sticklers for setting an example. I don't know if I could handle that every day."
Elspeth interjects her own bright wisdom. "They're a bunch of prudes and you couldn't DRAG me into that class."
"No joke," I hear Jill mumble from the other side of the L-shaped sectional couch. She's curled up in a ball with the phone (it's not cordless, and if it were I bet she'd be as far from this room as possible), waiting for someone to pick up on the other line. Elspeth glares at Jill and goes back to scribbling down notes on her paper.
I sense Blue's ever growing discomfort and take another sip of my tea before placing it on the bar counter and standing up hastily. "I'm sorry, but I have a lot of homework to catch up on, and Blue's got to tutor me on a few things." Out of the corner of my eye, I see Blue flash a smile. "I appreciate the kind gesture. We're right across the hall if you need anything. Sugar, flour, exorcisms..."
I laugh off my completely retarded joke and hear Blue opening the door. We back out of the room and wave nervously. Behind us, in the apartment, I hear the television being turned on.
That's the thing about this place. No one really cares who you are or what you do. Just as long as you don't get in their way. I guess only the Demons have friends.
We don't get our wings until we graduate from the Academy. Then we get to float up to Heaven and be good little soldiers and participate in the war between Good and Evil, and all of that fun, cliché stuff. I hope I didn't surprise you with that whole "God is a girl" thing. But there's more, and this part might really throw you.
All Angels are girls. Surprised? And all Demons are guys, but I think all guys are Demons, personally. Heh. There are a few exceptions to the gender rule, but only because sometimes the Chosen change their minds. But they aren't special - the Demons who have a change of heart are just punished more, and the Angels who want to be Demons get sent to Hell - but there's no partying. Just pain. And that's one reason I'm sticking with the wing-plan.
However, this draft business was total crap. I don't remember how I died. Very few Angels do, but I don't, and all I know is, I was sleeping really nicely when some holier-than-thou Seraphim came floating down with this REALLY bright light to wake me up. Ever been woken up in the morning when your Mom pulled open your blinds and flooded your room with sunlight? This was 100 times worse, and more, I was completely confused. What war? What Demons? Angels? Who cares, let me sleep!!!
But this chick - I think her name was Harmony or something equally as corny - dragged me up to Heaven and by the time I'd fully Awakened and had my coffee, I'd already heard more than I had needed to hear. I'd been drafted. Oh, goody. Just what I need, an Afterlife.
As if the first time around hadn't sucked bad enough, I get to do it again. Joy.
I guess you could consider me a sophomore in the Academy, since I've been here about two Earth years. Things go a lot slower in Heaven, but that's because Heaven's got that whole Eternity thing going on. It's fun, but tedious. You know, "sophomore" means "wise fool". That's why I think it's a really stupid term. So I'll just say I've been at the Academy for two years, and you'll know what I'm getting at.
And since the Demons are guys, and the Angels are girls, and there are students from both places in this one dorm building - that means "co-ed", baby. It'd be much cooler if Demons weren't such blood-sucking freaks, but evil's their thing, I guess. It's just as wrong of me to rag on them for being evil as it is for them to rag on me for being good. Am I really that good? I know I talk a big game, but my heart's in it. I'm starting to like the Angel life. When all this is over and we've won though, God and I are gonna have a long talk about a little something called "foreshadowing". She could have given me a better warning than I got, you know?
Today we're supposed to do the whole "meet your neighbors" thing. Ugh. Guess now's my chance to meet Sara and Jill and find out why Elspeth's so darn special. I hear Blue getting dressed in our room. She's probably getting all Angel-ed out, like always. She even wears this little set of fake feather wings and a tinsel halo. I used to think it was dorky, but it's growing on me. Blue can be cute, when she wants to be.
"Fahren, we need to hurry! Harmony said on the intercom that we needed to be early!" she shouts to me from the bathroom. I guess I could put on some shoes, or something. I never really care what the other students think of me. I'm not gorgeous, but without makeup I don't think I'm that hard on the eyes, so all that primping business is out of the question. At least, it is when we're in a hurry, and apparently we are.
Blue flies out of the bathroom and heads back to the bedroom, and I start to turn out the lights. It's always good to save electricity. Yeah, even in the year 2106, we students get shafted on technology. Old fashioned light switches and regular wall outlets. We got screwed. I had it better when I was human.
She's grabbing her backpack o' church pamphlets and I see that she's wearing the wings like I thought she'd be. I guess she'll have to carry her backpack. No sense in covering her wings with her backpack, so I reach out to take it. "Gimme that, I'll wear it," I say, trying to force a grin. Might as well look happy, you know?
"Great!" she chirps, and we leave the apartment, locking the door behind us. Through the stairs under my feet I can see people flooding into other apartments, a sea of students. It doesn't seem like that many people could possibly live here, but with such crappy accomodations, it wouldn't surprise me if 6 people were shoved into each of the lower-level apartments. I bet Hell was cheap and tried to save some money. Jerks.
"Are you coming?" Blue says to me, her hand in a knocking position in front of the door. We're now standing in front of Elspeth, Sarah, and Jill's apartment. It seems like Blue got awfully dressed up just for going across the hall. Stupid.
"Go ahead, knock, I don't care," I say, crossing my arms and leaning over the railings to watch the people below. I catch a few male students filtering through the sea of people. It's so funny that we can all walk side by side, knowing that we'll all be killing each other in a few Earth years. Kind of weird, kind of sad.
The door opens and a sour number of a girl is standing there, black hair in low pigtails, sucking on a Blow Pop. She looks rather unamused. "Yes?" she says, the cherry sucker warping her speech. Her voice grates on my nerves immediately. I already don't like her.
"Uhm..." my roommate begins, a bright smile on her reddening face. Blue's not really all that shy, but she does have that whole ditzy-blonde exterior that just forces her to act like an idiot, I suppose. I'd better step in to save her from saying anything else moronic.
"We're supposed to come across the hall and meet you. I hope that's not a problem. If we don't follow orders, we'll get in trouble. So it's either your place or ours -- what'll it be?"
The girl at the door, who I know is Elspeth, stares at me for a moment. She seems like she's feeling threatened by my very presence. After she's had her fill of glaring at me, she takes the sucker from her mouth and opens the door a little, waving us in. The apartment is unusually tidy, except for one corner with a chair, a makeup tote, and several piles of clothes. They must be Elspeth's; Jill is terrified of marring her skin with makeup, and Sara, being a braniac, has got to be a clean freak. Joy, more reasons to dislike Elspeth - she's a total pig.
"Sara, Jill!!!!" Elspeth shouts, flopping down on the couch with a schoolbook. I look at the page and see that she's studying the Koran. Oh, what a surprise - she's copying Sara's homework. That's nice and fair. I have to clench my fists to keep from blowing up at her. I hate cheaters. I really, really hate cheaters.
Jill comes out of the bathroom, looking meek, yet annoyed. She walks straight into her room and the door slams behind her.
"Well, don't I just feel welcome," I mumble under my breath. Blue glances at me, and I can feel her discomfort. Aura-reading is a talent I come by naturally. I think I could even do it when I was still alive. Blue's feeling rather scared right now, and I don't blame her. This place has all the warmth of a freezer and all the comfort of a doctor's office. Real home-y.
A girl who I assume to be Sara appears from the small kitchen area, carrying a mug of tea. She sits at the lone barstool at the counter, her eyes on Blue and I. I catch a hint of a smile on her face. "Sorry we're not too talkative - school and all that, you know. I saw outside, it's quite a mess."
"Yeah," I murmur, sticking my hands in my jean pockets. "It's really stupid that they don't do this by apartments, you know. Sending everyone out at once was a dumb idea. But it seems Heaven and Hell really like dumb ideas lately."
I am interrupted (thank God, I was sounding like such a moron) as Jill's door opens again. She comes down the hall, not looking at any of us, and walks into the kitchen for a glass of water.
"Fighting with the scale again, freakazoid?" Elspeth says to Jill, without looking up. I don't curse much, because it's against the whole Heaven rulebook, but Elspeth's turning out to be a real bitch. Jill doesn't seem affected.
"Bite me, O Harlot of Eternal Sin and Damnation," Jill grumbles, taking a sip of her full glass of water and then pouring it out. Elspeth ignores the biting remark and continues copying down Sara's homework. Looking at the thin, skin-and-bones Angel, I have to say that for the first time since we arrived here, I'm a little shocked. Jill is much thinner than I'd thought from all the gossip. (Yes, Angels gossip too.) Her emerald green sweater falls over her hands as if she had deliberately bought it 5 sizes too big, and her blue jeans cling desperately to her bony hips, baggy all the way down to her bare, tiny feet. Her dirty-blonde hair is pulled up on top of her head and messy strands have fallen into her eyes. She's practically emaciated. It makes me wonder what she was like before she died and got drafted. Maybe she was like this before, and the mannerisms just carried over. Or maybe...
"I said, would you like a glass of tea?" I hear Sara say to me, loudly. I feel like a moron again. Everyone is looking at me. I wonder how many times she had to ask that.
"Ehm, yeah, thanks. Sorry. I'm just... really out of it lately."
Elspeth snorts and gets back to cheating. After a moment of scribbling something down, she turns her head to the kitchen and gestures to Sara, who has begun doing what few dishes there are. Elspeth seems like the type to eat with her friends and not in the dorm, and it's kind of obvious that Jill doesn't like food much. "Hey, did you hear about the new Demons in the lower level?" Elspeth grins.
I can only see half of Sara's face from where I'm standing, but even through her glasses, she looks annoyed. "Yes, I saw them. Handsome and evil, just like all Demons are. When will you learn to stop searching for trouble, Elspeth?"
Sara comes out of the kitchen and hands me my tea. It smells of orange and is really hot, burning my shaking hand, but I'm too busy watching Elspeth for her reaction to Sara's comment to notice the pain. The two seem to have an uneasy commeraderie, but poor Jill -- oh screw that, Jill seems more bitter than I am, and I don't take pity from anyone.
Blue seems to feel REALLY out of place now, leaning against the wall by the door. The apartment feels smaller than ours, but only because I've never been stuffed in a school-regulation apartment with five Angels before. We're really a ragtag bunch, and I blame that on Heaven's drafting board. _I_ sure wouldn't pick me if I was looking for potential soldiers. What makes me so special?
"I said..." Sara sighs, looking at me again. Now I REALLY feel stupid. Way to go, Captain Zombie. Zone out again, and look like a vegetable. This is how you make friends?
"Oops. God, I'm a loser, I'm sorry. What were you saying, again?" I run a hand through my dark hair, pushing it out of my eyes and holding it there. Sara doesn't seem upset, but something is definitely on her mind. Something's probably ALWAYS on her mind, she being the bookworm that she is.
"I said, do you have any idea what classes you're going to take next semester? I hear they're incorporating a new lesson plan, at least for the distinguished achievement program," Sara says. As we begin discussing school, her smile brightens. Brainiac.
"You're doing the distinguished achievement program?" I inquire, taking a sip of my way-too-hot tea. It burns my tongue, but I keep talking. "No big surprise. I would, if Honors Morals wasn't so difficult. I hear the teachers are sticklers for setting an example. I don't know if I could handle that every day."
Elspeth interjects her own bright wisdom. "They're a bunch of prudes and you couldn't DRAG me into that class."
"No joke," I hear Jill mumble from the other side of the L-shaped sectional couch. She's curled up in a ball with the phone (it's not cordless, and if it were I bet she'd be as far from this room as possible), waiting for someone to pick up on the other line. Elspeth glares at Jill and goes back to scribbling down notes on her paper.
I sense Blue's ever growing discomfort and take another sip of my tea before placing it on the bar counter and standing up hastily. "I'm sorry, but I have a lot of homework to catch up on, and Blue's got to tutor me on a few things." Out of the corner of my eye, I see Blue flash a smile. "I appreciate the kind gesture. We're right across the hall if you need anything. Sugar, flour, exorcisms..."
I laugh off my completely retarded joke and hear Blue opening the door. We back out of the room and wave nervously. Behind us, in the apartment, I hear the television being turned on.
That's the thing about this place. No one really cares who you are or what you do. Just as long as you don't get in their way. I guess only the Demons have friends.