Fan Fiction ❯ The Line Between Beast and Boy ❯ New-Poo ( Chapter 5 )

Chapter 5

New-Poo

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Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans, or anyone else who appears in the television show. Everyone else is mine, so don't steal them, or I'll have to open a can of whoopass on yo' mamma!

 

Note: This chapter has black people, and you may find it offensive. I apologize, but I didn't mean to offend, and NEVER take any insult I make about race or anything in the future seriously. I didn't make any black jokes in this chapter, and any you may find are a complete coincidence. Thank you.

~GxJxR

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“Gargle, gargle, gargle…” Beast Boy hears behind him in the water, and he turns as he sees a large… lump… rise out of the sewage. It roars, “I HAVE RETURNED!!!” and Beast Boy looks in horror at his old nemesis.

 

“Hello puny green human!” the big ass waste lump says in a high-pitched, gargled voice.

 

“You!” Beast Boy says, pointing a finger at the opponent in a cheesy action pose.

 

“It is I!” it says.

 

“Uh, I just said that.”

 

“Oh… You will not thwart my plans again, for I am… THE SOURCE!” the lump gargles.

 

“But Cyborg ate you!” Beast Boy says in confusion.

 

“Well, you see, apparently, what you humans eat, goes through your body, and out of your behind… area…” the source says.

 

“Oh… so that's what it is…” Beast Boy says, but then he turns brown in disgust, “UGH! YOU'RE SHIT!”

 

“Yes, a minor setback! I have spent 2 years building up for this day, the day I will destroy the earth!” The Source says in triumph.

 

“But… you're shit…”

 

The source clenches, and a lump falls out of its side, and takes form of a black man with glasses.

 

“Hi Billy!” the man says.

 

“The Bobs?!”

 

“No, these are black,” The Source says in a non-evil voice, “I call them the Bills.”

 

“You can't beat me this time!” Beast boy says, taking out a super soaker. He hit the Bill and nothing happens.

 

“Oh, but I will! It is immune to water!” The Source says, spitting out an army of Bills.

 

“Hi Tommy!” One says in a deep voice.

 

“Sup' Dogg!” another says.

 

Beast Boy watches as a large group of them attack. He kicks them out of the way, and runs. They still smell like shit.

 

“Run all you like, human! We will destroy your planet!” the giant crap ball says, as it desperately tries to get out of the sewage, but falls over.

 

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The scene is a city block. The street is unusually empty. The bottom of the screen says, “Closed course. Do not attempt,” and in comes Beast Boy.

 

He stands in the center of the intersection as from all sides, an army of black smelly people with glasses with nametags that say human. Beast Boy looks around nervously, and sighs.

 

The air is filled with the pungent smell of new-poo. The view of the camera goes around Beast Boy like in a cool movie, and he turns into a T-rex. He lunges at a group of the crap men, and gets covered in shit.

 

He breaks out, and pukes in disgust. He looks across the street and a building shines golden. A single tear falls from Beast Boy's eye, as the building is his savior. His beautiful, clean savior. His beautiful, clean, non-shit savior. His- oh, you get it.

 

He busts into the latrine-cleaning store, and takes as many things as possible. Lysol, a toilet wand, a bunch of Brillo-pads, rubber gloves, Toilet bowl cleaner, and finally, SHIT BE GONE TOILET ACID!

 

He busts out, and… Oh, fuck details. He just kills all the Bills, using the shit he got in the store. General enough for ya'?

He leaves the street, which is now squeaky clean, and goes back to the sewage area, and finds the source still trying to get up. Beast Boy takes out the Shit Be Gone, and dumps the bottle on it.

 

“NOOOOOO! WHY DID I HAVE TO BECOME THIS!!!! I should have been a kitty…” the source says, as he melts down into clean things.

 

“That was… easy enough…” Beast Boy says, leaving the now clean lake.

 

He returns to the tower, and goes to his room. He lies down, and falls asleep. He stays clear of the bathroom…

 

 

(okay, the chapter was short, I admit it.)

 

(~GxJxR)