Fan Fiction ❯ The Mistake ❯ The Mistake ( One-Shot )

The Mistake

The faint sound of my own footsteps echoed in my mind, mingling with all other thought I possessed. It was quiet, almost overly so. I took notice of the flowers. Lilac. Lilac was always his favorite. The delicate faces of those innocent little lavender flowers turned up to me as I strode past them, as if they were observing me in a criticism. Perhaps they were whispering amongst themselves in their own magical language, uttering things such as "There he goes..." and "What a shame."

I was on my way to see Tadao. I had to tell him what happened. I had to explain what I did wrong, and perhaps even beg his forgiveness for my horrendous mistake.

Part One:

Tadao was my lover and closest friend. In fact, he was all I had. We had been together since officer school, and had enlisted into the armed forces as officers of high statute at the same time. He was always the stronger one, being well respected by his troops and extremely talented in every task he had undergone. Everybody liked him and overlooked me. Perhaps it was because I wasn't as physically impressive like he was. In comparison, I was weak and feeble, while he stood with his well-developed muscles and the sexy, exotic disposition. His appearance was so striking that would make any professional model green with envy. I always thought that I equaled his physique with my intelligence, but later I found this not to be true. He was just as sharp as I was, and more intellectual on topics which mattered to our occupation. I was jealous. I can admit that now. I was seething with resentment, yet I loved him just the same.

One night, we were sitting on the roof of our bunker, looking over the woods and runway as it became illuminated by the yellow moonlight. He was silent, as he usually was, his brilliantly shaped dark eyes looking over the field with a yearning. He was thinking of something, I could tell. I sat there beside him, obedient and willing. I just loved the sight of him, to watch him in these quiet moments. However, something changed in his mood. Those dark eyes seemed to have been filled with an indiscernible anguish. He faltered before turning to look at me with those pain stricken eyes. I recall the chill that ran down my spine, knowing something was dreadfully wrong, and that my life would change forever with the words he was beginning to compose. His lips parted slowly, a deep breath filing his lungs before he uttered out in his smooth, low tone, "I'm leaving."

It was like a hit to the chest, or a stab in the back from your closest colleague. I stared wide-eyed at him through my glasses, knowing that perhaps this would frighten him. He faltered again. To think, this sturdy and robust man could cringe and pull back from a simple expression from me. I knew he loved me, but why was he saying this. I felt my body move before I could restrain my emotions, and I threw my arms around him and started to cry. I was always the weak one, and he knew it. Finally, he managed to peel away my tight grasp of him, and stood up on the roof. I sobbed helplessly and begged for an answer, but got none.

"Why!? Please, don't leave me! I love you, don't leave! What did I do?! I can change, I can help... please?" I could hear my own voice loud and clear, wailing like some sissy wimp. My pleading appalled me, and It sickens me to this day to think of my former helpless state. Through my blurred vision I could see him stop at the edge of the roof, and look back at me. I believe he whispered something along the lines of "sorry", and before I could stop him he had vanished.

By the time I could muster the will to pull myself down to my sleeping quarters he had left. Nothing of his remained, save a picture of the both of us on the wing of his jet, his sturdy arm around my shoulders. His smile was so sincere. How could I look upon this smile!? I didn't for much longer. I let my fingers grasp opposite ends of the photo and ripped it to shreds, tossing the pieces on the floor, and cried the rest of the night on my bed.

The next day I was bitter and cruel. All of my men suffered under my harsh state, and I regret that. Instead of being hurt and depressed, I was angry and vengeful. I could only think of how I hated him, and that if I ever saw him again I would give him a piece of my mind. Four months later I managed to persuade my commanding officer to grant me a honorable discharge from the service. I couldn't focus on my work without him, and my performance at my tasks had suffered tremendously. He had ruined my military career, and because of his harsh actions and lack of explanation, I became a civilian ... and not a happy one, I might add.

I managed to get myself together and found a permanent apartment for myself, as well as a job at the local coffee shop. It was boring, but it was enough to get by on. A month went by after my finding employment at the coffee shop before something happened, something I never expected.

It was him. Tadao stood at the counter, watching me. He looked wonderful. His broad shoulders and well-proportioned body bore black slacks and a crimson silk dress shirt, as well as shined black shoes. His hair had grown out a little, and his expression was plain, as it always was. Being in the military, I had rarely ever witnessed him in anything but fatigues or respective uniform, so I was more than shocked. In fact, I barely recognized him.

I was so surprised, that I forgot all of my pent up anger and frustration with him, and just stared in wide-eyed wonder.

He smiled. That warm smile, it ignited a heat in my chest, which webbed through my whole being. It seemed to me that my soul was becoming healed, and my being had strengthened entirely, and it only took that simple gesture to allow that.

"H... How can I help you?" I forced my voice to be calm, and for my body to restrain from embracing him. He glanced up at the menu over my head, then let his deep, intense eyes meet my light blue gaze, running a casual hand through his black hair.

"How about a cup of coffee, black... please." he replied in his gentle, yet firm tone. I should have known, I knew what he liked. I sprung into action, and poured his cup, then placed the lid on it and set it in front of him, letting my eyes meet his again. He took up the cup and raised a brow at me, as if waiting for me to say something. I just stood there, watching him. Finally, he broke the silence.

"How much do I owe you?" he asked, a bit confused. Then it suddenly occurred to me, he was buying something... that's right!

"On the house." I blurted. He blinked, then smiled, his shoulders shrugging a bit. He lifted the cup to me and replied with a "Thanks." then started to walk towards the door.

He was leaving! I quickly regained my composure, and all of the anger I possessed surfaced. How dare he leave! I still wanted an answer. I hopped over the counter and chased after him, pushing past an elderly woman who seemed extremely shocked at my rush towards her. I finally made my way outside, and caught up with Tadao, grabbed his shoulder and spun him around to face me. He seemed overly shocked, and a bit frightened at my maneuvering him. He stood there with a stunned look plastered upon his face, staring at me in awe.

"So, you thought you could just burst in there and just act CIVIL with me, huh!!? Well, buddy, you have a hell of a lot of explaining to do! You've got some nerve, just up and leaving like that! I want to know why you left me!!" I hollered as loud as I could. I must have looked odd. I came to the realization that I was trembling, and that my voice was hoarse and menacing. I must have looked half crazed. Indeed, I know I must have, because he backed away from me with wide eyes, staring in silent shock. Then he regained himself and started moving away from me.

"I'm sorry..." he stated, still backing away from me, " I just stopped in for some coffee. I really must be going-"

"Must be going! You let me sit here and dwell in my sorrows for five months, and you `must be going'? Bull shit! You stay here and talk to me! I deserve an explanation!" I couldn't control myself. I had begun to shake violently, and my hands had balled into little fists, trying to hold back my anger. I wanted to punch him. I wanted to slam my fist into that perfect face so badly...

"What are you talking about?" he managed to say, staring at me with a puzzled expression on his face. I couldn't restrain myself, that single statement broke my composure, and with a burst of anger driven power I swung at him, aiming for that confused facade.

I was slammed against the wall before I could blink. I felt a body pressed against me, and when my tear-ridden eyes focused, I could see his face with those intense eyes boring down at me. He had avoided my attempt at attack, and had pinned me against the wall. He had a hard grip on my wrists, holding them with his brute strength to restrain me.

Our eyes had met, and I was not accustomed to the look he gave me. It was not the way he used to look at me. I came to the realization that something was dreadfully wrong with this whole scenario.

"I don't know who you are, but you need to calm down! I don't know what you are talking about." He said in a menacing and aggravated tone, holding me helpless against the wall. He didn't know me. It was true, and I could tell from his eyes that he had, in his mind, never looked upon me before. I was a total stranger to him.

How could this be!? Was he just a look-alike, someone who happened to look remarkably like Tadao? No, he had the same mannerisms as Tadao, and the same build and the same voice! It could not be possible, it just couldn't!

My lips parted and I tried to form words, but found no voice to accumulate any phrase whatsoever. My eyes stung with bitter tears. I knew it was him, and it hurt that he didn't know me. What had happened, why didn't he remember?

In that long, awkward moment I noticed how his eyes seemed to deepen. That same old gaze, filled with loving compassion surfaced within his glossy, black eyes. He let go of my hands and backed away, a little surprised at his own actions, then lost his footing as he stepped back off the curb, nearly falling.

I was leaning against the wall, sorrow having taken its restricting grip upon me. I could feel the harsh, unforgiving tears run down my face, freefalling from my jaw line to land in heavy drops upon my work shirt. He seemed to be in great agony, having grabbed his temples with his fingers and collapsed on his knees on the street. A car swerved and nearly missed hitting him, but he didn't seem to notice. All anger and fear of him ebbed away when I saw this. I instinctively jumped up and ran over to him, pulling him onto the sidewalk, sliding my arms around his shoulders, holding him as close to myself as I could. Perhaps it was to comfort him, but I believe I did this to assure myself that he was actually there, and that he was not leaving me again.

Part Two:

I had managed to get him to my apartment, and had sat him down on the couch, sitting across from him on my coffee table, watching. He seemed distressed, and refused to say anything other than he had to go. I forced him to stay with me, and at least explain to me what was going on, and why he fell to his knees at the Cafe. After a good long while, he sat up straight and looked over at me, his eyebrows coming together as if he was in deep thought over some sort of inner turmoil, a battle my aid could not assist.

"You look... familiar." he managed to say, looking me over once with his saddened eyes. I watched him intently, studying him through my glasses. I then took my glasses off, to let him get a better view of my face. As I did this he stared in shock, giving a soft gasp as if he had conjured up an epiphany so masterful that it would change his entire being. Indeed, it would.

"Minoru." He said whispered softly, his entire body tensing with his speaking of my name. I acknowledged that he was correct with a slow nod, before leaning over to take his callused hand in my own. He seemed to wince at my doing this, but did not fight my gesture either.

"Tadao, you do remember, don't you?" I inquired with a gentle tone, my other hand reaching up to caress the side of his face slowly, letting my thumb trace the defined lines of his jaw. He turned his face away from me and closed his eyes, as if his memories pained him, or that perhaps he was straining to recall all that he had lost.

I assumed he was under some sort of amnesia. However, that didn't explain his casual civilian appearance. He would never leave the force willingly, so why was his hair against regulation? Was he dishonorably discharged? Perhaps he was working undercover, and something happened to him, causing him to lose his memories?

"That isn't my name." he said, finally. I let my hand drop from his face. What did he mean by that? I squeezed his hand in reassurance, causing his eyes to come back to my face.

"What is your name?" I questioned, forcing a comforting smile over my lips.

"Kenjiro."

I was silenced by his words. He had a different name?

"Do you remember anything? About the Air force? Do you remember me?" He seemed to strain in his mind, before answering.

"Vaguely."

It hurt to see him like this. How could he not know who I was? How did he forget so much, and where did this new name come from?

"How far back can you remember?" I asked anxiously, still keeping my grip on his hand. He closed his eyes and shook his head.

"Not far... I can't even remember where I was yesterday." He replied softly, opening his eyes to look at me. I could tell he was troubled with the idea that he didn't know me, but I also could decipher the feelings he still possessed for me. It was like he was lost in his own mind, unable to make anything clear. I wanted to help, but I didn't know how. Perhaps it was the same type of amnesia where you could introduce things that the person once knew, and they would remember. After all, he seemed to remember me.

I was set on performing this. I hopped up from my sitting spot and went into my room, taking up some pictures I had of him (most of which were all scribbled on, and cut up, but I did salvage a couple) and brought them back, setting them in his hands. He looked over them, his eyes flickering with a strange underlying glow. Was he remembering? Could he recall all that he had been?

"You and I were...," he stated plainly, holding up a picture of the both of us as a New Years party. The image had us standing on a pier, fireworks going off in the background, his arms wrapped gently around my waist, our lips locked into a passionate kiss. One of those "snapshots" our subordinates had taken. I simply nodded at his unfinished question. I knew what he meant to ask. He then looked back at the picture, the corner of his mouth perking slightly, flipping through the rest of the pictures.

He seemed to be regaining a lot of his memories from this, yet he still seemed a bit confused. Perhaps there was a gap missing in his mind.

"How did we part?" he blurted. I was not expecting him to state this. However, I assumed he had guessed that he had separated after my outburst on the sidewalk.

"I am not quite sure. You told me you were leaving, and that was the last time I ever saw you." I said truthfully, watching him for any sort of reaction. I received none.

"What was I like?" he asked with a hint of hesitation. I stepped over to the couch and sat down beside him, giving a long sigh. It was always hard to talk about him without getting overly emotional, but I would try it.

"You were the best. You were sweet, understanding and extremely intelligent. I enjoyed being around you, as well as others. You were a superb pilot. In fact, you were an Ace. Your men adored you, and you had great potential." I said with a heavy heart. He just nodded, and looked down at his hands, avoiding his gaze at me.

I couldn't handle this. I wanted so passionately to help him. It also angered me that something had happened to him, and it didn't seem to be an accident at all.

I couldn't keep my composure any longer. With a quick motion, and turned his face toward mine and pressed a polite kiss to his lips, lingering for a long moment. Just before I pulled away to end the soft exchange, he kissed back, holding my shoulders to restrict from motion. Finally, it ended. There was a strange silence that lasted the span of five minutes, before I felt my heart jump. He did remember!