Fan Fiction ❯ The Progress Reports Of V.I.L.L.A.I.N.S. :The Doom’s Day Mark IX Report ❯ The Doom’s Day Mark IX Report ( One-Shot )

The Doom's Day Mark IX Report

This is the report of Dr Sinisterguy, World Class Evil Genius, Member of the Villain's International Law-Less Artists of Intelligent Negative Society, on the recent project entitled "Doom's Day" Mark IX. As I am sure you all know from my pervious memo, this was a project designed to give the World Leaders a scare, by firing The USA's Entire missile supply at Russia, and vice versa, using a High Tech Hacking device. I made sure it had all the usual flaws as all EC* Projects much have, by rule:143 in the V.I.L.L.A.I.N.S. rulebook of membership. I permission my base in an abandoned Military facility, and employed the usual I-Class* guards. The USA deployed their, >ahem<, "best" man, Dick Right, to stop me. I promptly sent out assassins to "attempt" to kill him.

This, as we all know, is to give the fool a chance to gather clues on my base's whereabouts, since after the Assassin's attempt, they "drop by accident" a valuable clue. I decided this time to send Braces, which has been slightly under used recently, and had told me he was desperate for work. This brain dead baffoon made the attempt but forgot to drop the vital clue so I sent someone to drop it in the right place, before the authorities had a chance to search the area. In this case, I decided to make the clue a matchbox from the Grey Locust Chinese Restaurant, where my second in command, Mr Quitebig often likes to dine. I ordered him to meet Braces there, that night after they found the clue. Once my spies confirmed that "our great hero" had solved our clue, and was at the Grey Locus, I give Mr Quitebig the go-ahead for the meeting.

MrQ:Did you kill Mr Right?

B:I came close. But he stopped me.

MrQ:Blast! I hope you made sure you were not followed here.

B:Yes.

MrQ:Well, find and kill him this time. Then return to our base.

B:Where is it again?

MrQ:It is behind Perishing Men's Ridge in the desert.

B:Oh Yeah.

(At this point a henchman find Mr Right.)

MrQ&B:Huh?

MrQ:I thought you said you weren't followed!

B:………(Note: the fool forgot his lines)

MrQ:What have you to say for yourself?(I do admire Mr Quitebig's talent for being able to think on his feet)

B:I Will kill him now, this means I don't have to go looking for him, Ha ha ha ha!

Then followed the second attempt of Braces to kill Dick Right, during which he died, leaving behind his ID card. Mrs Brace, his mother, has my deepest sympathy. But now Right had the chance to infiltrate my base. However before this, I had my video phone conference with the President. It went as follows.

DrS:Ah Mister Bush, I assume you have heard my demands.

MrP:Er……What demands?(an adviser whispers in his ear) Huh? 100 Billion? But that would mean I won't have enough to buy my special extra small, shallow size, pretzels.

Adviser: >ahem< Tell him that Mister President.

MrP:Huh? Oh yes, Mr Sinisterguy, your demands have been noted, but I am afraid we can not comply.

DrS:Then you, and millions of others, will die! Goodbye. Bwahahahahaha!

MrP:But if I get the normal size, I might die anyway…

Dr:S:……….. Chew you idiot. I will get back to you in 3 hours to see if you have changed your minds….Bwahahahhahahha!

I believe I shall be very happy once they elect a new president, this current one ruins the atmosphere. Anyway, Dick Right was able to sneak into my base and place explosives on the mainframe, without any of my guards noticing, until he had placed the last one, at which point he was found, and the firefight began. During this firefight he encountered me, and said one of the lamest lines of hero I have ever heard in all my time as a Super Villain. As I have said in various memos, it is time he was replaced by someone more original. Anyway, He set off the explosives, causing a great confusion and allowing him, and me to escape.

I hope this project will have given Dr Ghostknife enough time to steal those top-secret plans for the new hacking equipment while this distracted the US. How our income will increase when we are able to hack into all the major banks of the world with no problem. Those fools don't quite get it. Hopefully they never will, which is why I once again suggest we increase our efforts to assassinate Inspector Temple, who is coming real close to discovering Mr Quitehuge's file archive. Should he finds this, the fools might finally realise what we are really up to. If this happened, it would be the end of all super villainy. I mean, I sometimes wonder how those imbeciles could ever think we actually want to take over the World, when they are already in that position- and know what it is like. Boring, and troublesome. It is much more fun "trying to take over the world" as any creature with half a brain cell could tell.

However, if they knew this, it would take half the fun out of it, thus we must prevent them from ever finding out. I will suggest a new plan for our continued success in my next Memo.

*:EC: Earth Conquering.

I-Class: Idiot Class.