Fan Fiction ❯ The Top 20, yes 20, Things Never To Do In Front Of A Bear ❯ One-Shot

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

By: TX2

I would like to state that I do not own DBZ or its characters in this fic (why do people write that? do the creators, go through these fanfic sites just looking for a reason to sue?)

Top 20 things never to do in front of a bear

20- give it change for the bus

19- play dead (it's just a trick the National Bear Community- NBC- snuck into the survival guide)

18- punch him in the nose (that's for sharks)

17- pull a thorn out of his paw (instead, stick a thorn in his paw)

16- pull a thorn out of your paw

15- dig a hole and stick your head in it

14- fight him (bears no KARATE. I had to learn that the hard way)

13- shoot him with an anti matter ray (they aren't invented yet, and it ruins the environment)

12- shoot him with a matter ray

11- read a book (yeah like anyone reads books anymore)

10- repeat everything it says: bear- "ROAR!"

you- "ROAR!"

"SNARL!"

"SNARL!".

"Stop that."

"I mean it."

"I'm warning you!"

"That's it, it's dinner time!"

"That's it, it's dinner time!" (At this point you will either be eaten, or arrested for eating a bear)

9- learn the language of the bears THEN punch it in the nose

8- call on the wolves for help (Bears and wolves are real close)

7- try to compliment it ex: "you know, for a minute there I thought you were Robin Williams"

6- cover yourself in meat

5- pretend that you are a bear (depending on what gender you and the bear are it could get ugly)

4- become his friend (he'll mooch you for all your worth)

3- poor honey all over yourself (instead poor the honey on him)

2- pull a thorn out of his paw and then punch him in the nose (actually it might confuse him long enough for you to run away

1- kiss his wife

by the way, Read Gliders rebellion