Fan Fiction ❯ The Troublesome Quest For Sanity ❯ more lunatics equals more ... apples? ( Chapter 6 )

Disclaimer: I own Zelda and any related characters. No, just kidding.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[later, Great Deku Tree - inside]

Ravi: Aah, that's better. I really needed to pee.

Ganondorf: Can we get outta here now?

Ravi: Ssssh!

Ganondorf: Huh?

Ravi: Don't you hear it?

Ganondorf: Hear what?

Ravi: The desperate, wailing sound!

Ganondorf: Eh?

[a girl with headphones passes by]

Girl: Uh baby baby oops I did it again I played with your heart, got lost in the game . . . .

Ganondorf: -_^

Ravi: That wasn't the sound which I heard before.

Ganondorf: Ssssh!

Ravi: Huh?

Ganondorf: Don't you hear it?

Ravi: Hear what?

Ganondorf: The desperate, wailing sound!

Ravi: Somehow this sounds familiar to me . . .

Ganondorf: See the shrub over there?

Ravi: Uhm . . . yeah. Why?

Ganondorf: There's something behind it.

Ravi: Another Spears groupie?

Ganondorf: Maybe even worse.

Ravi: GASP!

[Ganondorf uses his black magic and sets the bush on fire, revealing . . . ]

Ganondorf+Ravi: Link????

Link: Away! Away! Please do not hurt me! Away demons! Away!

Ganondorf: -_^

Link: Ganondorf! It's you! Please, oh mighty Ganondorf don't kill me! I would give you the Triforce but I can't give you the Triforce because I don't have the Triforce but if I would then I could give it to you and I would but I can't but if I could then I would-

Ravi: CUT IT!!!!

Link: THE NAVIGATOR DEMON!!! IT HAS RETURNED!!! [hides]

Ganondorf: That's not Navi, that's Ravi. My fairy.

Link: Your apple fairy? Since when apple have you got an apple fairy?

Ravi: Does he always say apple during each sentence?

Ganondorf: I didn't notice it before.

Link: Must . . . hide . . . must . . . . run . . . away . . . . must . . . . use . . . . toothbrush . . .

Ravi: And you want to tell me, that THIS is the guy who kept you from taking over Hyrule??

Ganondorf: Er . . . . basically . . . . yes.

Ravi: ^_^

Ganondorf: But that was BEFORE he started to act like a weird coward!!!

Ravi: Yeah . . . sure . . .

Ganondorf: -_-

Link: Ceiling will crack . . . ground will disappear . . . Link will die . . . apple . . .

Ravi: Anyway, you've found Link. Means that your quest is completed and I can go home and watch Buffy. So . . . see ya! [she flies away]

Link: Light makes Link go apple dead . . .

Ganondorf: Yeah, whatever. Hey, Link! Let's go outside and . . . erm . . . see a doctor?

Link: OUTSIDE??? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! [he runs around in circles]

Ganondorf: Come on, Link! You're the brave Hero of Time, remember? And if you don't want to go to a doctor you might stay insane forever and Zelda will marry somebody else! (thinks) Like . . . . me? MWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Link: ZELDA? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ! [he jumps up and down]

Ganondorf: I guess this is not going to lead us anywhere. Hey, Link!

Link: Huh apple?

Ganondorf: DIE! [he forms a ball of dark energy]

Link: EEEEEEEEEEEEEKS!!!!!!!! [Link runs outside]

Ganondorf: Piece of cake . . . [walks after Link]

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[outside]

Link: Sssssh, don't move!!!

Ganondorf: Eh?

Link: WATCH APPLE OUT!!!! BEHIND YOU!!!!

Ganondorf: What?

Great Deku Tree: I see, you have found the toilet!

Link: YIKES! TREE!!! [passes out]

Ganondorf: o_O

GDT: And you have also found something else. Stranger, what is your name?

Ganondorf: Erm . . . I'm . . . erm . . . Johnny, the Gerudo King.

GDT: GERUDO KING??????

Ganondorf: The . . . NEW Gerudo King!

GDT: Oh, okay. How time flies by . . . is it really 100 years ago that-

Ganondorf: I'm sure it is. *sweatdrop* *cough*

GDT: Anyway. I need your help, Johnny!

Ganondorf: My help?

GDT: The boy who lies in front of your feet is the Link, the Hero of Time.

Ganondorf: . . . .

GDT: Don't say a word! I know that he does not act like a hero at the moment. But long, long time ago he has defeated the evil, demonic, powerful, ugly and fat Ganondorf.

Ganondorf: I'M NOT . . . ahem . . . I mean . . . my people have told me that Ganondorf was a very thin, muscular and good looking man.

GDT: Your people are liars.

Ganondorf: -_-*

GDT: Anyway, the behaviour of the former Gerudo King is not your fault.

Ganondorf: Hehe . . . of course not.

GDT: And now I need you, Johnny. No . . . this boy needs you! Two months ago he started to act in a strange way. First . . . he refused to eat his vegetables . . . then he wanted to dye his hair black . . . then he bought all the CDs of Elton John . . . and then he even claimed to be the Queen of America!!

Queenie: But I'm the Queen of America!!!

Lady Storm: DIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

Queenie: Yikes!! [runs away]

Lady Storm: DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMOOOOOOOOOON!!!! [runs after her]

GDT: Erm . . . however. Johnny!

Ganondorf: *snore* *grunt* Huh?

GDT: I don't know what happened to Link and I don't know how to help him. But since you seem to be a brave man I beg you to go on a quest and find . . . . a shrink.

Ganondorf: A shrink????

GDT: Now what did you expect? Something mystical, legendary and supernatural?

Ganondorf: Uhm . . . yeah, that's more like it.

GDT: Then you might as well find the mystical, legendary and supernatural . . . PSYCHIATRIST OF TIME! [DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUN DUN]

Ganondorf: -_^

GDT: Oh, and take this shiny, green stone! I heard that the Psychiatrist of Time [DUN DUN DUUUUUUN DUN] is very high in price. [hands Ganondorf the Kokiri Emerald]

Ganondorf: Uuuh, thanks! But what about Link?

GDT: Of course you have to take him with you!

Ganondorf: (thinks) Damn. (says) Of course. -_-*

GDT: Good luck, young friend.

Ganondorf: But where do I find the Psych . . .

[he can't finish his sentence because the Great Deku Tree hits him with his branch - again]

Ganondorf: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

GDT: Byyyyeeee!!!!

Kokiri: WILL YOU SHUT UP ALREADY????

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Chapter 6 of The Troublesome Quest For Sanity was brought to you by

Apple - healthily simple, simply healthy and

Queenie û