Fan Fiction ❯ The Weaver Telarius ❯ Darkness Beyond Twilight ( Chapter 12 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Sir Telarius 
Some fairly unimportant stuff happens. No, really! It's unimportant! I swear! *hides*
Anime/Manga: Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Supernatural / Psychological / / Fantasy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 03.08.2003 | Pages: 4 | Words: 4.5K | Visits: 147 | Status: Work In Progress
Some fairly unimportant stuff happens. No, really! It's unimportant! I swear! *hides*
Anime/Manga: Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Supernatural / Psychological / / Fantasy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 03.08.2003 | Pages: 4 | Words: 4.5K | Visits: 147 | Status: Work In Progress
One in front and one in back. It was the worst position I could possibly have been in. Worse yet, these two individuals were both close to my equals in skill. If I were up against either one of them alone, or even both of them in front of me, it would be another matter. A simple expulsion was their weakness... they didn't like to have their blades misdirected. The action completely threw them off. However, if I expelled to my front, I would be run through my rear, and if I expelled my rear, the front would get the best of me.
To complicate matters, there needed to be a split second of withdrawl when one runs another through. During this time, I would fall easy prey to the weapon of the other. Also, these opponents cared not for their lives, for they were mere constructs of someone's will. One would make a sacrifice and the other would go in for the kill. Any way you slice it, I was dead.
A beat quarte, feint, thrust and lunge were the movements that I anticipated. I merely parried the attack, making no effort to riposte, but keeping opposition until I felt the intent of a cut towards my back. I pulled into septiema for the parry and reoriented for a slow overhead cut. Of course it would have done nothing, for, much to my dismay, my weapon had only a point, but the bluff was called. I used the force of my cut to expell the blade now at my front, then continued the momentum toward my rear, pulling into tierce on the other side just in time to catch the cut to my midsection.
From tierce, I feinted with a thrust, and the feint was successful. A simple doublé and I had the opening. I did not take it, but waited for the response to the open line on my part. The simultaneous attack was difficult to parry on instinct, but I found that, by pulling into octave while lunging forward, I had time before the redoublemont to turn about and parry septiem.
It was bound to happen sooner or later. As I parried septiem and then returned to the neutral gaurd position, being tierce in this stance, the opponent now to my front purposefully ran onto my point. I cursed my luck, and that is all I had time to do, for as I attempted to withdraw my blade, I felt a sharp pain in my back, then through my chest.
* * *
This was the second time that the dream had come to me, and thus I could no longer dismiss it as coincidence. Try as I might, I could not remember the faces, for my mental state in the dream dismissed anything that wasn't their blades. I got up, wrapping a robe around my body, and wandered into the common room, cold sweat still dripping off my body. It was dead silent in the hall, and that bothered me slightly. I attempted to move quietly, but my footfalls just beat out the sound of blood rushing to my ears. There was a high pitched ringing coming from all around me. It was faint, but noticable to my ear. Quite faint. I usually disregarded such things, but in the wizarding world, nothing could be taken for granted.
I poured myself a glass of water, hoping that would help. It never did, of course, but it is a psychological thing that one develops in early childhood. I heard footfalls behind me, and wheeled about to see the shadowed figure of Snape, his face barely visable in the half-moonlight that shone through the roof. The pale blue cast about the room was actually quite soothing, and his expression seemed not to be hostile.
"Having problems sleeping again, Mr. Shade?" he asked, a tone that almost sounded like concern leaking from his voice.
I nodded. "Yeah. Haven't been able to sleep for a while," I answered, truthfully.
He crossed the room and sat down in a chair, gesturing for me to follow suit. I did so. "How long have you been without sleep?"
I paused to consider that question. There were nights where I actually did get to sleep, but I woke up shortly thereafter. So, I suppose the true intent of his question was how long had I gone without restful sleep. "Months, sir."
He nodded. "He wants it this way, you know."
"Yes, I know. The more tired I am, the less rational I become."
"Have you figured out how you are going to stand against him?"
"By using against him the very thing he wants me to use for him."
"Bold. You know that he'll have an ace in the whole, don't you?"
I sighed. "Yes. I just hope it doesn't trump my plans."
"It may not be your plans that he trumps. It may be you. Are you ready to make that sacrifice, Telarius?"
I looked him in the eyes. He was serious, I knew. So was I. I set my glass down and walked back up to my room, not bothering to reply to his question. It was unfair, after all. I had no idea what sort of sacrifice he was talking about, but there were many things that Voldemort could use against me that I would simply have to bow to. I just hoped that he did not know me well enough to use any of them.
* * *
Later in that day, after classes had completed and people were free to mill about Hogwarts, I drew away from the crowd into the library. I was curious about how many different types of magic there were in the world. I knew of wizardry, sorcery, and wyld magic, but I could not help but think there might be other ways to wield such power. I was not incorrect.
I learned of necromancy, the magic of life and death. It was a lost art, apparently, but in the past it was used for both benefit and detriment. Apparently the power of a necromancer comes not from their own, spiritual power nor their connection to the magical powers surrounding them, but from an unknown source. Then I stumbled upon the final form of magic known to this world... thaumaturgy.
I recognized the name, and it was, indeed, exactly what I thought it would be. Blood magic. Practicioners of this ancient art would use their own lifeblood, or other's if their scruples were in a deficit, to fuel their power. The last known thaumaturgist was rumoured to have died in battle with a wyld mage. That particular wyld mage did not last the night. A dangerous art indeed. I made it a point to remember this one.
Jumping two feet straight up is not normally my first reaction to a tap on the shoulder. I suppose I was feeling more feline at that particular moment. When I turned about, I caught a glimpse of Meriam, and smiled whilst averting my eyes away from her enchanting gaze. Ours was a history toward which no justice could be done by attraction on my part. It had happened too often before.
"Ah, madam Meriam. What can I do for you?" my tone was a bit more pleasant than it should have been. Her eyes were not the only thing enchanting about her.
She smiled, I could tell, for though my eyes were not focused upon her face at that time the pheromonal attraction increased. It was a reaction that I was slowly getting used to. "I was wondering why you were sitting in this library, all alone, without a smile on your face when you instructed all of us to be happy during this time of waiting."
Her logic was too on the mark. If I did not follow my own recommendation, then the recommendation had no weight. I loathe being called on such a thing as much as a loathe being dipped into a vat of boiling saltwater taffy. I could not discount the validity of her arguement, at any rate. "I suppose you are correct, Meriam. I have been many things, lately, and none of them at ease. I suppose my recurring nightmares, coupled with the stress I receive on a day to day basis and the lack of sleep have depleted too much of my happiness and joy."
She shook her head. "You never have been filled with happiness and joy. Since the first time we ever struck up a serious, friendly dialogue, you were always filled with sadness. I see it in your eyes. In the way you smile a partial smile. The places you go, the tone of your voice. There are far too many tell tale signs," she paused, placing her hand on my shoulder, "You are slipping into depression again."
I sighed. "I know."
She sat down next to me. "Do you know what is causing it?"
I shook my head. "Only bits and pieces. I know that stress does it, and that a lot of it has to do with high anxiety. I have this knack for worrying about everything and not letting myself off the hook."
"Could this be related to your lack of sleep?"
"Possibly. It has happened before."
She nodded. "Well, I have class right now. I'll talk with you later," she stepped away, her hair just barely missing my face as she twirled about. It had the most wonderful scent to it. Intoxicating though it was, it did not improve my mood, "We're all getting together to go to Hogsmede tonight," she called back, "We'll be meeting out by the lake, if you want to come."
I sort of grunted back to her as a response. I did not really feel like going out to have fun. I just wanted to curl up on my bed and sleep the good sleep. Perhaps even the long sleep. My will was slowly drifting away. Each day I felt the life being sucked out of me, as if leeches were attached to my very spirit. And the spiral never ends, and all I can do is fall.
* * *
While the dinner set before me was glorious, I could not help but simply stare at it. I just was not hungry. Draco sat down to my left, but saw the expression on my face and suddenly became quite interested in his food. I did have more persistant allies, though.
~What's troubling you, Telarius?~
~You're a telepath, Cordelia. Work it out on your own. I'm too damned tired to care right now.~
~You would let me walk around in your mind?~
I paused. ~Perhaps, but would you honestly take that opportunity were it to present itself?~
~If I could find out what is wrong with you, and perchance how to make it better, then yes, I believe I would.~
~You would invade my privacy? A person's mind contains thoughts that they do not wish anyone else to know. You could easily stumble across one of those completely on accident. It would do more damage than good.~
~I did not think of that. Still, does the end not justify the means?~
~The end never justifies the means. Now, leave me be.~
She was silent on all communicatory fronts with me for the rest of dinner. I did not touch a single thing in front of me, save for my napkin, which I took to shredding into smaller and smaller pieces, all the while letting many dangerously dark thoughts run through my head.
When dinner was done, I returned to the Slytherin House. I felt like I had been run over by a freight train. I was all ready to take a nice, long, deep nap and not wake up again. Never before had I sunk so quickly so fast.
It was dark when I entered the house. I heard footsteps, and immediately struck en guarde. Then, into a beam of moonlight, I saw the face of Professor Snape. I abruptly lowered my stance.
"How are you feeling, Telarius?" he asked. There was almost a nurturing tone to his voice. It caught me off guard.
"Dismal."
"Don't you think that spending time with your friends would help?"
"No. It would just remind me of my duties. I never did like social gatherings that much. Besides, what I need cannot be spoken of. It is... shameful to me."
The room illuminated. "Telarius... you are going to go meet your friends, or I'm going to inform Filch of all the infractions you've made upon school rules and policies. Once I tell him, he'll have to act on them."
My eyes widened. "You wouldn't..."
"You are the Slytherin champion, at the very least. At the most, you are the only one who can end this coming war without the Ministry falling. I have a vested interest in your continued well being. You will go."
I hated him in that moment, but I did as he asked. I honestly had no other choice. Expulsion would take me away from Deanne, and that would be the end of it.
* * *
The darkness outside fit my mood all too perfectly. Bleak and desolate, the starless sky seemed to taunt me. I was not looking forward to this outing. A bunch of cheery faces, telling me to cheer up or outright omitting me from conversations. I had been in similar situations countless times, and always took up the role of an apathetic observer. Well, mostly apathetic. Eventually, I can't help but let my personal feelings tint my observations, until I see the evil in everything that everyone around me does.
I reached the lake quite late, hoping that they had decided to go on without me. At first, it seemed as though they had. Then I saw Deanne. A small smile crept to my lips, and I could not help it. "Good evening, my love."
"Good evening," she replied, "Are you ready?"
"To tell you the truth, I don't really want to go."
She said nothing. Her expression changed just the slightest bit, and it took me longer than normal to pick up what the change entailed. It was devious. My eyes widened, but it was too late. I felt a hand on my shoulder at the same moment as I sensed the presence behind me, and then felt myself wisked away off to somewhere unknown.
* * *
More darkness, but all encompasing. After being inside that room, I never again needed to wonder how a blind man felt. I focused all of my senses on my hearing, but could hear nothing. When heightened in a similar way, my touch senses told me there were four other presences. I immediately struck an even stance, prepared to fight blind, though they surrounded me. I never got much training in combat with multiple opponents. Fighting one on one is much different than fighting two on one or more. You are restricted in what you can do.
Immediately the darkness lifted, and I found myself momentarily blind and betraying my stance. I thought myself dead at that point, but to my surprise no assault came. When I ventured a gaze out, I saw my four companions with smiles bright upon their faces. Phillip came forward, put his hand on my shoulder, and nodded. It was that moment when I understood what was going on.
The women made sort of a line, and proceeded to give me the warmest, most caring hugs a man could ever receive. Each embrace took away more of my sadness and seemed to last an eternity. It was a feeling almost alien to me, and yet I remembered it from years ago, when I had friends which performed such rituals.
When Deanne was done with her embrace, they stood in a sort of semi-circle and faced me. It was quite well choreographed, I should say. There was a moment of silence in which I realized I was supposed to voice my reaction. I felt as though I should not let them down. "I... I just...," I shook my head, "Thank you. All of you."
"We know somewhat of what you are going through, though not all of it," Meriam said, "And Deanne clued us in as to how we might help.
"You brought us together, and you lead us. We know you don't want the role, and we know that you were placed there. You feel responsible for us, so we feel we should be responsible for you," Phillip chimed in. His words seemed most appropriate, and not at all rehearsed.
I nodded. "It was, indeed, exactly what I needed," I admitted.
"And now, if you don't mind..." Cordelia said with a devilish look upon her face, "We would like our night on the town. You can accompany us if you wish... Entilza," and at that moment, they all performed the salute.
Entilza. The name they must have gotten from Phillip. The connotation hit me like a feint in countertime. It was a term not just of respect, but of reverence. I waved my hand. "Bah! Entilza nothing. Let's go make complete idiots of ourselves in public," I responded.
They all seemed to enjoy that idea.
* * *
The room itself seemed to glow a goldenrod colour, and I did not think for a second that the alcohol had nothing to do with it. It was not quite at the point of obliteration, but another drink or two and I would most likely not remember much of this night. I looked out from my stool and saw Meriam dancing with a handsome Gryffindor lad. She had gotten to know him quite well during this time of restful inquisition, and the two were getting along famously. Phillip was quite well on the way to drunk himself, but still sitting in the corner and observing, as I knew him to do. I wondered what he was gleaning from this.
The Dancing Spider was an inn of ill fame, though not in the traditional sense of the term. In short, it had a bad reputation for letting underage people in. Of course, it was much easier to disguise yourself when magic was available. I had fashioned my appearance to that of a strapping young lad of his early twenties, and Deanne had done similarly. Cordelia seemed to prefer a bit more aged image.
Phillip finally made his way out of the corner and over to me. "I have come to a conclusion!" he exclaimed, as if he had discovered some profound truth.
I turned to him, in a bit of a haze, with Deanne attached to my right shoulder in a cuddly sort of way. I liked that, though I cannot tell you why. "And what, pray tell, is your conclusion, my good friend?" I inquired.
A grin crossed from his right ear to his left. "You're not nearly drunk enough," he motioned to the bartender, "Bartender! Another round for my companions!"
I laughed and sighed a bit. Phillip was being overly generous with the purchasing of rounds. I was beginning to think he'd lost sight of his pocketbook. Still, we all gathered around our table in the corner with our shots. I cannot remember for the life of me what we were drinking. It tasted of cinnamon. At any rate, everyone was well prepared to take their shot with glee, but Phillip had something else in mind. He rapped his hand upon the table thrice and raised his glass.
"To our leader, and most trusted friend!"
Everyone raised their glasses to me, but did not drink. They looked and waited, and slowly the chanting started. A singular word, over and over. "Speech, speech, speech..." over and over again.
I glared at each of them, and they gave me the silliest smiles you'd ever laid your eyes on. Still I stood up and raised my own glass, rising to the occassion. "My dear friends, associates, allies... there comes a time in a man's life when he realizes what he's meant to do, what greater purpose he is meant for," I paused, "And, until that time comes for me, I say we get completely obliterated, for tomorrow may bring tidings less pleasant!"
They liked that, I could tell, and the shots were taken. The rest of the night was rather hazy, but I got to spend a great deal of time with Deanne. I enjoyed that more than anything. Begrudged as I am to admit it, I must: I was wrong, and Snape was right.
* * *
The room was endlessly spinning. I had never experienced the full brunt of a hangover in a child's body, so the mental effects hit me pretty hard. I thought myself unable to focus before, but at that moment I realized that I would never be less focused through the rest of my days. I could not bring myself to appreciate the rare experience, however. No, I just wanted the damn room to stop spinning.
I summoned some generic headache medicine, deciding against trying to find the magical alternative, and got myself showered and dressed. It was a Saturday morning, and I had plans for this day which could not be interfered with. When I looked presentable enough, I trekked down to the Great Hall for some breakfast. It was a meal I skipped with a fair amount of regularity, but I needed my wits about me this day.
After the breakfast, I made my way to the library as fast as I could. Luckily, they allowed me to sneak out with a glass of orange juice and some toast, so that bought me some time. So I munched, drank, and ran until I was at my destination. It smelled rather moldy in the library that day, I remember. A little more than usual, anyway.
My studies were drawn mainly towards the works of Herbert, Zelazny, and Bester. From these texts I gleaned amazing amounts of information and ammunition. Students came and went from the library, and I remained there until the fires of night were lit. At the approximate hour of eight past midday, I packed up my books and ventured back to the dorm, as were my instructions. I procured my all-weather cloak and a couple of miscellanious personal affects and stole away from the campus, calling both Parry and Riposte to my side, with Xorlempt taking the form of the miniature dragon upon my shoulder.
I walked into the dark forest with little to no regard for the danger it provided. The large spiders advanced upon me, but quailed in despair at my gaze. They feared fire, and I made no qualms about wrapping myself within it when I entered their domain.
After passing through the den of spiders, I reached the heart of the forest. There I sat, throwing down my shield and unpacking some bread and cheese to snack on while I waited. The heart of the dark forest truly is quite a sight. There is a singular point where the light of a full moon can fully shine through at the right time of night. It makes for an enchanting scene, with all the will-o-the wisps about.
I heard it, suddenly. A crack of a twig off to my left. It was a feint, of course, meant to drive my attention away from where it should be. I turned my head to my left, but focused my warrior's senses to my right. The presence crept closer and closer to me, and I did not turn. It stopped at around arm's reach. "Well? Are you expecting me to be surprised?" I asked the darkness.
"Well, it did prevent you from seeing my entrance, at least," the darkness replied.
"Only because I allowed you the courtesy. Next time I will not, and your entrance will be known to me unless you politely ask for my head to be turned."
"I warn you once more that I'm not to be trifled with. I could slaughter you where you stand without a second thought."
"And lose a Weaver on your side? I think not! You'd sooner lob off your own head than destroy your investment in me."
"Your back is to me, Weaver. I could cause you much pain without actually ending your life."
"You forget that I am not one to be controlled by fear like your other pawns Dark One. I would ask that you look down before proceeding any further."
There was a pause. "I did not notice the rapier's point being at my abdomen when I walked up."
I chuckled. "I waited until the precise moment after I spoke, when I knew your attention would be drawn away. My comment took you off your guard enough for me to slip my point in."
The darkness laughed. "You would have made a worthy adversary, Telarius."
"I still may unless you hold to your end of the bargain."
"To send you back home with your loved one? How could I forget. Never thought you would be so compliant. I was afraid I might have to share my conquest with you."
"I care not for lordships or spoils, Dark One. I have my interests and you have yours. It just so happens that we both have something the other needs. As soon as this deal is over, you can count me as an enemy, so it is in your best interests to send me back and never call on me again."
"You are so certain of this? I could give you power and wealth beyond..."
"Do not test me!" I interrupted the darkness, pressing my point a bit further into his abdomen, "You know my terms, now get on with the meeting."
"A few questions before that, if I may?"
My silence was acceptance, and so the darkness carried on, "Is the army ready?"
"No, they won't be prepared for another two months."
"Just after the second challenge then?"
"Indeed."
"And your companions?"
"Completely wrapped around my finger. We'll have no problems with them unless one of them suspects something."
"Does anyone suspect?"
"Deanne might, but she would side with me regardless of what I did. Cordelia could find out easily if she wanted to, but she respects my privacy too much. Phillip, on the other hand, is a problem. He's got the perception to see the signs and the power to challenge me. Before you gave him his power, I could have taken him easily. Now that he's a wyld mage..."
"Phillip is a non-issue. I have plans underway to see to it that he doesn't get in my way."
"Truly?" I was skeptical, "May I have knowledge of these plans?"
"Of course not, Weaver."
"Fair enough. Anything else?"
There was a moment's pause. "No, I believe that's all I have."
I turned to face him. In his current host body his form was imperfect, for he had not been truly reborn. It was an intimidating sight, never the less. I stood to my feet and bowed. "Then the meeting can begin at your descretion, Mr. Riddle."
To complicate matters, there needed to be a split second of withdrawl when one runs another through. During this time, I would fall easy prey to the weapon of the other. Also, these opponents cared not for their lives, for they were mere constructs of someone's will. One would make a sacrifice and the other would go in for the kill. Any way you slice it, I was dead.
A beat quarte, feint, thrust and lunge were the movements that I anticipated. I merely parried the attack, making no effort to riposte, but keeping opposition until I felt the intent of a cut towards my back. I pulled into septiema for the parry and reoriented for a slow overhead cut. Of course it would have done nothing, for, much to my dismay, my weapon had only a point, but the bluff was called. I used the force of my cut to expell the blade now at my front, then continued the momentum toward my rear, pulling into tierce on the other side just in time to catch the cut to my midsection.
From tierce, I feinted with a thrust, and the feint was successful. A simple doublé and I had the opening. I did not take it, but waited for the response to the open line on my part. The simultaneous attack was difficult to parry on instinct, but I found that, by pulling into octave while lunging forward, I had time before the redoublemont to turn about and parry septiem.
It was bound to happen sooner or later. As I parried septiem and then returned to the neutral gaurd position, being tierce in this stance, the opponent now to my front purposefully ran onto my point. I cursed my luck, and that is all I had time to do, for as I attempted to withdraw my blade, I felt a sharp pain in my back, then through my chest.
* * *
This was the second time that the dream had come to me, and thus I could no longer dismiss it as coincidence. Try as I might, I could not remember the faces, for my mental state in the dream dismissed anything that wasn't their blades. I got up, wrapping a robe around my body, and wandered into the common room, cold sweat still dripping off my body. It was dead silent in the hall, and that bothered me slightly. I attempted to move quietly, but my footfalls just beat out the sound of blood rushing to my ears. There was a high pitched ringing coming from all around me. It was faint, but noticable to my ear. Quite faint. I usually disregarded such things, but in the wizarding world, nothing could be taken for granted.
I poured myself a glass of water, hoping that would help. It never did, of course, but it is a psychological thing that one develops in early childhood. I heard footfalls behind me, and wheeled about to see the shadowed figure of Snape, his face barely visable in the half-moonlight that shone through the roof. The pale blue cast about the room was actually quite soothing, and his expression seemed not to be hostile.
"Having problems sleeping again, Mr. Shade?" he asked, a tone that almost sounded like concern leaking from his voice.
I nodded. "Yeah. Haven't been able to sleep for a while," I answered, truthfully.
He crossed the room and sat down in a chair, gesturing for me to follow suit. I did so. "How long have you been without sleep?"
I paused to consider that question. There were nights where I actually did get to sleep, but I woke up shortly thereafter. So, I suppose the true intent of his question was how long had I gone without restful sleep. "Months, sir."
He nodded. "He wants it this way, you know."
"Yes, I know. The more tired I am, the less rational I become."
"Have you figured out how you are going to stand against him?"
"By using against him the very thing he wants me to use for him."
"Bold. You know that he'll have an ace in the whole, don't you?"
I sighed. "Yes. I just hope it doesn't trump my plans."
"It may not be your plans that he trumps. It may be you. Are you ready to make that sacrifice, Telarius?"
I looked him in the eyes. He was serious, I knew. So was I. I set my glass down and walked back up to my room, not bothering to reply to his question. It was unfair, after all. I had no idea what sort of sacrifice he was talking about, but there were many things that Voldemort could use against me that I would simply have to bow to. I just hoped that he did not know me well enough to use any of them.
* * *
Later in that day, after classes had completed and people were free to mill about Hogwarts, I drew away from the crowd into the library. I was curious about how many different types of magic there were in the world. I knew of wizardry, sorcery, and wyld magic, but I could not help but think there might be other ways to wield such power. I was not incorrect.
I learned of necromancy, the magic of life and death. It was a lost art, apparently, but in the past it was used for both benefit and detriment. Apparently the power of a necromancer comes not from their own, spiritual power nor their connection to the magical powers surrounding them, but from an unknown source. Then I stumbled upon the final form of magic known to this world... thaumaturgy.
I recognized the name, and it was, indeed, exactly what I thought it would be. Blood magic. Practicioners of this ancient art would use their own lifeblood, or other's if their scruples were in a deficit, to fuel their power. The last known thaumaturgist was rumoured to have died in battle with a wyld mage. That particular wyld mage did not last the night. A dangerous art indeed. I made it a point to remember this one.
Jumping two feet straight up is not normally my first reaction to a tap on the shoulder. I suppose I was feeling more feline at that particular moment. When I turned about, I caught a glimpse of Meriam, and smiled whilst averting my eyes away from her enchanting gaze. Ours was a history toward which no justice could be done by attraction on my part. It had happened too often before.
"Ah, madam Meriam. What can I do for you?" my tone was a bit more pleasant than it should have been. Her eyes were not the only thing enchanting about her.
She smiled, I could tell, for though my eyes were not focused upon her face at that time the pheromonal attraction increased. It was a reaction that I was slowly getting used to. "I was wondering why you were sitting in this library, all alone, without a smile on your face when you instructed all of us to be happy during this time of waiting."
Her logic was too on the mark. If I did not follow my own recommendation, then the recommendation had no weight. I loathe being called on such a thing as much as a loathe being dipped into a vat of boiling saltwater taffy. I could not discount the validity of her arguement, at any rate. "I suppose you are correct, Meriam. I have been many things, lately, and none of them at ease. I suppose my recurring nightmares, coupled with the stress I receive on a day to day basis and the lack of sleep have depleted too much of my happiness and joy."
She shook her head. "You never have been filled with happiness and joy. Since the first time we ever struck up a serious, friendly dialogue, you were always filled with sadness. I see it in your eyes. In the way you smile a partial smile. The places you go, the tone of your voice. There are far too many tell tale signs," she paused, placing her hand on my shoulder, "You are slipping into depression again."
I sighed. "I know."
She sat down next to me. "Do you know what is causing it?"
I shook my head. "Only bits and pieces. I know that stress does it, and that a lot of it has to do with high anxiety. I have this knack for worrying about everything and not letting myself off the hook."
"Could this be related to your lack of sleep?"
"Possibly. It has happened before."
She nodded. "Well, I have class right now. I'll talk with you later," she stepped away, her hair just barely missing my face as she twirled about. It had the most wonderful scent to it. Intoxicating though it was, it did not improve my mood, "We're all getting together to go to Hogsmede tonight," she called back, "We'll be meeting out by the lake, if you want to come."
I sort of grunted back to her as a response. I did not really feel like going out to have fun. I just wanted to curl up on my bed and sleep the good sleep. Perhaps even the long sleep. My will was slowly drifting away. Each day I felt the life being sucked out of me, as if leeches were attached to my very spirit. And the spiral never ends, and all I can do is fall.
* * *
While the dinner set before me was glorious, I could not help but simply stare at it. I just was not hungry. Draco sat down to my left, but saw the expression on my face and suddenly became quite interested in his food. I did have more persistant allies, though.
~What's troubling you, Telarius?~
~You're a telepath, Cordelia. Work it out on your own. I'm too damned tired to care right now.~
~You would let me walk around in your mind?~
I paused. ~Perhaps, but would you honestly take that opportunity were it to present itself?~
~If I could find out what is wrong with you, and perchance how to make it better, then yes, I believe I would.~
~You would invade my privacy? A person's mind contains thoughts that they do not wish anyone else to know. You could easily stumble across one of those completely on accident. It would do more damage than good.~
~I did not think of that. Still, does the end not justify the means?~
~The end never justifies the means. Now, leave me be.~
She was silent on all communicatory fronts with me for the rest of dinner. I did not touch a single thing in front of me, save for my napkin, which I took to shredding into smaller and smaller pieces, all the while letting many dangerously dark thoughts run through my head.
When dinner was done, I returned to the Slytherin House. I felt like I had been run over by a freight train. I was all ready to take a nice, long, deep nap and not wake up again. Never before had I sunk so quickly so fast.
It was dark when I entered the house. I heard footsteps, and immediately struck en guarde. Then, into a beam of moonlight, I saw the face of Professor Snape. I abruptly lowered my stance.
"How are you feeling, Telarius?" he asked. There was almost a nurturing tone to his voice. It caught me off guard.
"Dismal."
"Don't you think that spending time with your friends would help?"
"No. It would just remind me of my duties. I never did like social gatherings that much. Besides, what I need cannot be spoken of. It is... shameful to me."
The room illuminated. "Telarius... you are going to go meet your friends, or I'm going to inform Filch of all the infractions you've made upon school rules and policies. Once I tell him, he'll have to act on them."
My eyes widened. "You wouldn't..."
"You are the Slytherin champion, at the very least. At the most, you are the only one who can end this coming war without the Ministry falling. I have a vested interest in your continued well being. You will go."
I hated him in that moment, but I did as he asked. I honestly had no other choice. Expulsion would take me away from Deanne, and that would be the end of it.
* * *
The darkness outside fit my mood all too perfectly. Bleak and desolate, the starless sky seemed to taunt me. I was not looking forward to this outing. A bunch of cheery faces, telling me to cheer up or outright omitting me from conversations. I had been in similar situations countless times, and always took up the role of an apathetic observer. Well, mostly apathetic. Eventually, I can't help but let my personal feelings tint my observations, until I see the evil in everything that everyone around me does.
I reached the lake quite late, hoping that they had decided to go on without me. At first, it seemed as though they had. Then I saw Deanne. A small smile crept to my lips, and I could not help it. "Good evening, my love."
"Good evening," she replied, "Are you ready?"
"To tell you the truth, I don't really want to go."
She said nothing. Her expression changed just the slightest bit, and it took me longer than normal to pick up what the change entailed. It was devious. My eyes widened, but it was too late. I felt a hand on my shoulder at the same moment as I sensed the presence behind me, and then felt myself wisked away off to somewhere unknown.
* * *
More darkness, but all encompasing. After being inside that room, I never again needed to wonder how a blind man felt. I focused all of my senses on my hearing, but could hear nothing. When heightened in a similar way, my touch senses told me there were four other presences. I immediately struck an even stance, prepared to fight blind, though they surrounded me. I never got much training in combat with multiple opponents. Fighting one on one is much different than fighting two on one or more. You are restricted in what you can do.
Immediately the darkness lifted, and I found myself momentarily blind and betraying my stance. I thought myself dead at that point, but to my surprise no assault came. When I ventured a gaze out, I saw my four companions with smiles bright upon their faces. Phillip came forward, put his hand on my shoulder, and nodded. It was that moment when I understood what was going on.
The women made sort of a line, and proceeded to give me the warmest, most caring hugs a man could ever receive. Each embrace took away more of my sadness and seemed to last an eternity. It was a feeling almost alien to me, and yet I remembered it from years ago, when I had friends which performed such rituals.
When Deanne was done with her embrace, they stood in a sort of semi-circle and faced me. It was quite well choreographed, I should say. There was a moment of silence in which I realized I was supposed to voice my reaction. I felt as though I should not let them down. "I... I just...," I shook my head, "Thank you. All of you."
"We know somewhat of what you are going through, though not all of it," Meriam said, "And Deanne clued us in as to how we might help.
"You brought us together, and you lead us. We know you don't want the role, and we know that you were placed there. You feel responsible for us, so we feel we should be responsible for you," Phillip chimed in. His words seemed most appropriate, and not at all rehearsed.
I nodded. "It was, indeed, exactly what I needed," I admitted.
"And now, if you don't mind..." Cordelia said with a devilish look upon her face, "We would like our night on the town. You can accompany us if you wish... Entilza," and at that moment, they all performed the salute.
Entilza. The name they must have gotten from Phillip. The connotation hit me like a feint in countertime. It was a term not just of respect, but of reverence. I waved my hand. "Bah! Entilza nothing. Let's go make complete idiots of ourselves in public," I responded.
They all seemed to enjoy that idea.
* * *
The room itself seemed to glow a goldenrod colour, and I did not think for a second that the alcohol had nothing to do with it. It was not quite at the point of obliteration, but another drink or two and I would most likely not remember much of this night. I looked out from my stool and saw Meriam dancing with a handsome Gryffindor lad. She had gotten to know him quite well during this time of restful inquisition, and the two were getting along famously. Phillip was quite well on the way to drunk himself, but still sitting in the corner and observing, as I knew him to do. I wondered what he was gleaning from this.
The Dancing Spider was an inn of ill fame, though not in the traditional sense of the term. In short, it had a bad reputation for letting underage people in. Of course, it was much easier to disguise yourself when magic was available. I had fashioned my appearance to that of a strapping young lad of his early twenties, and Deanne had done similarly. Cordelia seemed to prefer a bit more aged image.
Phillip finally made his way out of the corner and over to me. "I have come to a conclusion!" he exclaimed, as if he had discovered some profound truth.
I turned to him, in a bit of a haze, with Deanne attached to my right shoulder in a cuddly sort of way. I liked that, though I cannot tell you why. "And what, pray tell, is your conclusion, my good friend?" I inquired.
A grin crossed from his right ear to his left. "You're not nearly drunk enough," he motioned to the bartender, "Bartender! Another round for my companions!"
I laughed and sighed a bit. Phillip was being overly generous with the purchasing of rounds. I was beginning to think he'd lost sight of his pocketbook. Still, we all gathered around our table in the corner with our shots. I cannot remember for the life of me what we were drinking. It tasted of cinnamon. At any rate, everyone was well prepared to take their shot with glee, but Phillip had something else in mind. He rapped his hand upon the table thrice and raised his glass.
"To our leader, and most trusted friend!"
Everyone raised their glasses to me, but did not drink. They looked and waited, and slowly the chanting started. A singular word, over and over. "Speech, speech, speech..." over and over again.
I glared at each of them, and they gave me the silliest smiles you'd ever laid your eyes on. Still I stood up and raised my own glass, rising to the occassion. "My dear friends, associates, allies... there comes a time in a man's life when he realizes what he's meant to do, what greater purpose he is meant for," I paused, "And, until that time comes for me, I say we get completely obliterated, for tomorrow may bring tidings less pleasant!"
They liked that, I could tell, and the shots were taken. The rest of the night was rather hazy, but I got to spend a great deal of time with Deanne. I enjoyed that more than anything. Begrudged as I am to admit it, I must: I was wrong, and Snape was right.
* * *
The room was endlessly spinning. I had never experienced the full brunt of a hangover in a child's body, so the mental effects hit me pretty hard. I thought myself unable to focus before, but at that moment I realized that I would never be less focused through the rest of my days. I could not bring myself to appreciate the rare experience, however. No, I just wanted the damn room to stop spinning.
I summoned some generic headache medicine, deciding against trying to find the magical alternative, and got myself showered and dressed. It was a Saturday morning, and I had plans for this day which could not be interfered with. When I looked presentable enough, I trekked down to the Great Hall for some breakfast. It was a meal I skipped with a fair amount of regularity, but I needed my wits about me this day.
After the breakfast, I made my way to the library as fast as I could. Luckily, they allowed me to sneak out with a glass of orange juice and some toast, so that bought me some time. So I munched, drank, and ran until I was at my destination. It smelled rather moldy in the library that day, I remember. A little more than usual, anyway.
My studies were drawn mainly towards the works of Herbert, Zelazny, and Bester. From these texts I gleaned amazing amounts of information and ammunition. Students came and went from the library, and I remained there until the fires of night were lit. At the approximate hour of eight past midday, I packed up my books and ventured back to the dorm, as were my instructions. I procured my all-weather cloak and a couple of miscellanious personal affects and stole away from the campus, calling both Parry and Riposte to my side, with Xorlempt taking the form of the miniature dragon upon my shoulder.
I walked into the dark forest with little to no regard for the danger it provided. The large spiders advanced upon me, but quailed in despair at my gaze. They feared fire, and I made no qualms about wrapping myself within it when I entered their domain.
After passing through the den of spiders, I reached the heart of the forest. There I sat, throwing down my shield and unpacking some bread and cheese to snack on while I waited. The heart of the dark forest truly is quite a sight. There is a singular point where the light of a full moon can fully shine through at the right time of night. It makes for an enchanting scene, with all the will-o-the wisps about.
I heard it, suddenly. A crack of a twig off to my left. It was a feint, of course, meant to drive my attention away from where it should be. I turned my head to my left, but focused my warrior's senses to my right. The presence crept closer and closer to me, and I did not turn. It stopped at around arm's reach. "Well? Are you expecting me to be surprised?" I asked the darkness.
"Well, it did prevent you from seeing my entrance, at least," the darkness replied.
"Only because I allowed you the courtesy. Next time I will not, and your entrance will be known to me unless you politely ask for my head to be turned."
"I warn you once more that I'm not to be trifled with. I could slaughter you where you stand without a second thought."
"And lose a Weaver on your side? I think not! You'd sooner lob off your own head than destroy your investment in me."
"Your back is to me, Weaver. I could cause you much pain without actually ending your life."
"You forget that I am not one to be controlled by fear like your other pawns Dark One. I would ask that you look down before proceeding any further."
There was a pause. "I did not notice the rapier's point being at my abdomen when I walked up."
I chuckled. "I waited until the precise moment after I spoke, when I knew your attention would be drawn away. My comment took you off your guard enough for me to slip my point in."
The darkness laughed. "You would have made a worthy adversary, Telarius."
"I still may unless you hold to your end of the bargain."
"To send you back home with your loved one? How could I forget. Never thought you would be so compliant. I was afraid I might have to share my conquest with you."
"I care not for lordships or spoils, Dark One. I have my interests and you have yours. It just so happens that we both have something the other needs. As soon as this deal is over, you can count me as an enemy, so it is in your best interests to send me back and never call on me again."
"You are so certain of this? I could give you power and wealth beyond..."
"Do not test me!" I interrupted the darkness, pressing my point a bit further into his abdomen, "You know my terms, now get on with the meeting."
"A few questions before that, if I may?"
My silence was acceptance, and so the darkness carried on, "Is the army ready?"
"No, they won't be prepared for another two months."
"Just after the second challenge then?"
"Indeed."
"And your companions?"
"Completely wrapped around my finger. We'll have no problems with them unless one of them suspects something."
"Does anyone suspect?"
"Deanne might, but she would side with me regardless of what I did. Cordelia could find out easily if she wanted to, but she respects my privacy too much. Phillip, on the other hand, is a problem. He's got the perception to see the signs and the power to challenge me. Before you gave him his power, I could have taken him easily. Now that he's a wyld mage..."
"Phillip is a non-issue. I have plans underway to see to it that he doesn't get in my way."
"Truly?" I was skeptical, "May I have knowledge of these plans?"
"Of course not, Weaver."
"Fair enough. Anything else?"
There was a moment's pause. "No, I believe that's all I have."
I turned to face him. In his current host body his form was imperfect, for he had not been truly reborn. It was an intimidating sight, never the less. I stood to my feet and bowed. "Then the meeting can begin at your descretion, Mr. Riddle."