Fan Fiction ❯ There's No Such Thing As Luck ❯ Fithos...Lusec...Wecos...Vinosec... ( Chapter 4 )

Disclaimer: You know this gets really boring to write chapter after chapter. I don't own stuff. Yeah.

  There's No Such Thing As Luck     Chapter Four

"You know what, dude?" The burly man let out a loud yawn. "I'm personally sick and tired of beating you. And I never thought I'd say that."

"NO!" Jr. pounded his fist against the table. "I may have lost everything but there's just ONE thing that I have left."

"Oh really?" The burly man sneered.

"You see this ship we're flying on?" Jr. grinned. (Uh-oh…)

"Yeah. What about it?"

"It belongs to ME." Jr. didn't expect the next event.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Good one kid! YOU!? A little KID!? Own the DURANDEL!?" The burly man was laughing so hard that he fell out of his chair. Jr. frowned.

"Well then I guess you don't want it." Jr. began to gather up his cards.

"Huh?" The burly man looked up from his spot on the floor. "You're serious?"

"Of COURSE I'm serious you moron." Jr. threw his cards at the burly man. "How dare you call Gaignun Jr. a LIAR! I should have you persecuted by evil giraffes with your arms severed by cannibals all over the universe with––"

"All right, enough of that. Just pick up those cards of yours that you just threw all over me and we'll play."

"I bet my ship and the ownership of it against your cards."

"We'll see about that." The burly man grinned and picked himself up from off the floor.

"I sneer at your cards." Jr. reclaimed his cards from off the floor. "Now let's play."

"Move you darned weaklings!" The Professor held a .22 Magnum to the backs of Ziggy and MOMO. He received strange looks from everyone as they moved around the ship and to the dock. He had decided that the evil dungeon of doom was too GOOD for the likes of Ziggy and MOMO.

"Pay no attention to us, civilians of the Durandel," Ziggy told everyone as he kept his hands in 'surrender mode' above his head. "We're only hostages against our will to play an evil part in the Professor's scheming game."

"Shut up!" The Professor whacked Ziggy with the butt of the gun and then pushed him. "You and your loud mouth, Cyborg! I should kill you now!"

"No!" MOMO cried. "You can't! Ziggy!"

The three were interrupted as a new person descended the stairs. It was none other than Gaignun Kukai of the Kukai foundation.

"Ah! Professor!" Gaignun greeted. "Lovely day, isn't it?"

"He spoke to us…" The Professor muttered. "NOW I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO TAKE HIM HOSTAGE AS WELL!" The Professor turned and aimed the Magnum at Gaignun. Gaignun's hands immediately went up.

"Woah! What the heck?" Gaignun stared at Ziggy and MOMO. "What's going on?" Gaignun asked.

"Don't ask." Ziggy responded. "Just do what he says and go along quietly."

Gaignun's gaze went back to the Professor, who motioned him over to the other two hostages. Gaignun sighed and obliged. "But I have a meeting to get to…" He whined.

Albedo sat in the middle of the room, STILL trying to put together the computer and the super-duper-ultra-cool plasma screen. Suddenly, he got a visitor.

"Albedo…just what do you think that you are doing?" A cloaked man materialized into the room.

"Oh…hi Virgil." Albedo said within his state of being melancholy. Suddenly, Albedo looked up at Virgil, teary-eyed. "Virgil…would you miss me if I ever disappeared?"

Virgil paused, caught off guard with this question. "Well…I suppose I would miss your ugly white outfit and the way that your lips always seemed to move after you were finished talking like a horrible dubbed translation––"

"Good. Because I'm soon going to be vaporized."

"What?"

"I was sent an evil chain letter of doom that stated that unless I send the chain letter out to a bazillion of my friends, I would die from a horrible Indian curse."

Virgil nearly laughed. "Albedo, don't tell me you believe in that stuff!" From the look on Albedo's face, Virgil knew that Albedo was a sap for this kind of stuff. "All right I guess you do. Listen, Albedo, buddy…" Virgil stepped closer. "That kind of stuff…it's not real."

Albedo sniffled. "It isn't?"

"No, of course not. They just send that stuff and scare people like that so that people, like you, will be sappy enough to do it!"

"Boy…" Albedo blinked. "Don't I feel like a moron. And all this time it wasn't even true."

"Now THAT'S the spirit." Virgil patted Albedo on the back.

Suddenly an evil voice resounded through the room.

"Dark forces I summon you…banish these weaklings from my presence…"

The two men gasped. "That sounded like…" Albedo started. "It came from Grand Theft Auto Vice City…"

"Don't be a moron!" Virgil grabbed Albedo's shoulders. "Someone's trying to put a hex on us! That chain letter thing was REAL!"

"But I thought you said…" Albedo was cut off.

"Forget what I said! The chain letter is true!" Virgil cautiously looked around the room. "We HAVE to get a computer so that we can send all those chain letters…it's our only chance of survival…"

Albedo's bottom lip trembled.

From within the distance Gnosis began to swarm over the Kukai foundation. Their numbers growing by the millions; they started on a huge rampage. And this was all chaos' fault.

The next day everyone was in the Elsa's kitchen, unhappily eating away on soggy cereal and outdated milk.

"Good MORNING everyone!" Allen greeted as he entered the room, arms wide open. Tony, Hammer, and Captain Matthews shot daggers in Allen's direction and then turned back to their 'breakfast'. KOS-MOS was helping clean up and so she didn't say anything and Shion was still angry and scarfing down her food…and chaos? Well…heh, heh…

During a secret meeting of the Mary and Shelley club…

"Tragic news my fellow members of the club!" The President cried. "Shelley is pushing up daisies…" The President buried his face in his hands and wept.

"I didn't know that Shelley liked daisies…" A moronic member commented before another member slapped him upside the head.

"That's a EUPHEMISM for the sentence 'she died'!" The irate member shouted at the moronic member.

"Whatever shall we do!?" The President looked up at the HUGE mural of Shelley and Mary painted on the wall.

"We could always make a CLONE of Shelley!" Came a suggestion.

"No, too messy," Came a voice from the back of the room. Everyone turned and saw chaos. He strolled into the room. "Now if you REALLY want to fix the problem, you'd have to meet Shelley in person."

"But how can we do that!?" A man protested. "She's dead!"

"I can help…" chaos sneered as he walked up to the front of the room, touched the beautiful mural, and then suddenly…

NINJA EVIL TOUCH!

The mural ignited into flames and was quickly devoured by the EVIL fire of doom!

"NO!" Cried the fanatics of the club. "OUR MURAL!"

"Oh shoot," chaos shook his head. "I did it again. Here I can fix this…" chaos grabbed the President's hand and yanked him towards the mural where the flames of doom leapt from their positions on the wall and consumed the president.

Elated at this new turn of events, chaos JUMPED onto the table and thrust his arms up into the air, laughing maniacally.

The chandeliers in the room fizzed and sizzled and exploded as sparks rained down upon the terrified members of the Mary and Shelley Club. The sparks turned into a thick toxic waste and the men began to melt as hideous diseases plagued them. They crumpled to their knees as chaos engaged in a dance of evil on the table, alternating from lifting one knee high into the air and swinging his arms from side to side over his head.

The fire then ate away at the 'We love you Mary and Shelley' banner located high above the room, sending it into ashes as it fell around chaos. Then geysers of evil (consisting of all the members' blood) sprang up from the floors and erupted into rainbows of blood flowing into the air and landing all over the room as chaos continued on with his dance of evil. The boom-box in the corner of the room playing the 'We Love Mary And Shelley' theme song was destroyed as chaos jumped from the table, clutched the CD Player in both hands and watched as the machine exploded, like dynamites in a mine.

He skipped around the table as the geysers continued to spurt blood, and he trampled over the remains of the bodies of the club members.

This was a great day.

"So how did everyone like the concert last night?" Allen grinned. Everyone shot him a dirty look and went back to eating.

"I thought it was great too. I'm surprised that it rendered you all speechless." Allen jumped onto Shion's table, her food catapulting to the floor. "What did you think, Shion? Great huh?"

"I am never speaking to you again!" She banged her hands against the table and Allen jumped to his feet, dancing on the table's surface. Suddenly, the table cracked in half and both Shion and Allen fell to the floor.

"The music was not to my liking," KOS-MOS responded, oblivious as to why everyone was mad at Allen. "It puzzles me as to why you humans must brainwash yourselves with your so-called 'music'."

"He was making FUN of us, KOS-MOS." Captain Matthews told the android. "You're right about the music at least. It STUNK." He glared at Allen on the last remark.

"You're just insanely jealous that I am incredibly famous and you…are still a low-life hunting for food scraps everyday." Allen stood up, wiping the dust and wood particles from his rapping suit and stuck his nose high up into the air.

"FOOD SCRAPS!?" Captain Matthews jumped up. "I'll turn YOU into food scraps Allen Ridgeley!"

"Annnnnd," Allen pretended to file his nails. "I'm making my first CD today."

"WHAT!?" Everyone (But KOS-MOS) exclaimed. "WHO WOULD WANT TO BUY YOUR TRASHY MUSIC!?"

"The only people it appears trashy to are you common folk." Allen said, his voice still stuck up and snooty. "In fact, I have 14 new hit singles out. They're called…" Allen began to name them off. "My friends suck, Everyone should die, Women, who needs them? Whores, Sluts, and Shion…"

"WHAT!?" Shion jumped to her feet, looking ready to kill.

"Pigs On The Elsa…ACK!" Shion began to strangle Allen and wrestle him to the ground. "SECURITY! SECURITY!" Allen wailed as two hefty men with glasses emerged into the room and grabbed Shion, who was still thrashing about.

Allen wrapped a hand around his bruised neck as the other hefty man helped him to his feet. "Thank you Brutus." He thanked the man who helped him up.

"What do you want us to do with her, Boss?" The other hefty man who was holding Shion effortlessly asked.

"Clyde, just take her to the dungeon downstairs." Allen grinned.

"We have a dungeon on the Elsa?" Tony asked.

"Actually," Allen looked everyone in the room over. "Take them all to the dungeon."

"What!?" Hammer gasped. "You're doing WHAT to us!?"

"That's right," Allen grinned. "I bought this ship legally."

"But it's MY ship!" Captain Matthews shouted as Brutus grabbed him, Tony, and Hammer.

"Not anymore, tubby." Allen tossed his head back and laughed. "Now it's MY ship."

"Allen," Clyde looked over at KOS-MOS. "What do you want us to do with her?"

"Hmmm," Allen pondered. "I DO hate KOS-MOS with good reasons…but…she looks useful. KOS-MOS, I ORDER you to come over here and give me foot massages."

KOS-MOS paused and looked at Shion, who was shaking her head. "Allen, I am a combat android, not a lapdog."

"Clyde! Show MISS KOS-MOS what will happen to her if she does not cooperate."

Clyde quickly stuffed a toaster into the microwave and within three seconds, the entire kitchen had exploded and was being consumed by flames.

"As you wish…Master," KOS-MOS hastily moved to Allen's side.

"YUMMY!" Allen rubbed his hands together.

Meanwhile…

"You'll never get away with this, Professor." Gaignun frowned as the three unhappily walked towards the dock, their backs slouching. The Professor was happy though. "Someone WILL catch you."

The Professor looked at all the dead bodies lying in the hallway. "You were saying WHAT Gaignun?"

Gaignun was displeased.

"My gun has INFINITE bullets, you moron!" The Professor laughed. "You can't stop me! You can't even hope to slow me down!" The four stopped at a small ship docked in the corner. "Get in you losers." The Professor commanded, brandishing his gun in the air.

They all unwillingly obliged, crawling into the ship and strapping themselves in the seats.

"You don't know how to control this," Gaignun told the Professor. "Allow me to do it…" Gaignun reached for the Pilot's Ejection Seat button but was shooed off with the Magnum.

"Try that again and I'll tear your fingers off and eat them for lunch," The Professor threatened.

"And that's a threat I would actually take seriously," Ziggy whispered to Gaignun.

"Ziggy, are we going to die?" MOMO looked up sadly at Ziggy.

It hurt Ziggy to look at the little girl that way, although he wasn't sure where the emotion had come from.

"Of course not," Ziggy reassured. "I won't let anything bad happen to you. I promise."

"What about me?" Gaignun whined. "Are you going to protect me?"

Ziggy facefaulted. "NO, Gaignun, you're a GROWN MAN who can take care of himself."

"Where are we going, Professor?" MOMO asked.

"To ruin Assistant Scott's STUPID wedding!" The Professor started the engine and unskillfully pulled it out of the dock, crashing it into another ship, destroying it (as it exploded), and took off out of the Kukai Foundation.

Meanwhile, Mary looked outside and gasped. Gnosis! And they were heading this way!

"Oh my stars!" She cried as she turned to the Realian Crew. "Alert everyone! Get Mr. Gaignun and Little Master down here now!"

One of the Realians shook her head as she looked back at Mary. "Mr. Gaignun has disappeared!"

"Disappeared!?" Mary's eyes widened.

"He's been kidnapped!" Another Realian added. Suddenly, an evil image appeared on the plasma screen. It was the Professor.

"HA! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE YOU WEED WHACKERS! I HAVE YOUR PRECIOUS GAIGNUN AND THE CYBORG AND 100 SERIES REALIAN TOO!" In the background Ziggy, MOMO, and Gaignun were waving. "IF YOU EVER WANT SEE THEM ALIVE AGAIN, YOU'LL GIVE ME 300 BILLION GOLD PIECES, HALF OF THE DURANDEL, AND A NEW LABORATORY WITH A BUILT-IN SWIMMING POOL!"

Ziggy was busy writing on a piece on construction paper and then held it up behind the Professor for everyone to see. 'Will be back soon, don't worry about us, and the Professor will be assassinated. Hugs and kisses from MOMO and have a nice day' was what the paper said.

The plasma screen went blank and Mary shook her head, trying to comprehend what had just happened.

"Mary! Little Master is in the Gambling Room!" Another Realian spoke.

"STILL!?" Mary turned to the Realian.

In the Gambling Room…

"NO! I LOST MY RIGHTS TO THE DURANDEL!" Jr. sobbed as he sat there, in only his boxers, with his pathetic cards.

"Much obliged," The burly man grinned as he scooped up the legal documents and stood up. "And so that I won't smear my winning streak, I'm going to start working on my prize. First off, I'm going to turn the Durandel into an amusement park!"

"What!?" Jr. jerked his head up from the table.

"Of course! It will be full of wine, women, and song!"

"You are NOT turning the Durandel into a strip club you sick freak!"

Back in the Control Room…

"Mary! We've just received word about the Durandel's NEW owner!" Yet ANOTHER Realian said. "Jr. has gambled away the Durandel to a sick and twisted freak!"

"WHY!?" Mary clutched her head. "Where's Shelley!?"

"Dead Ma'am…" Yeah…another Realian said.

"Dead!?" Mary screeched. "HOW!?"

"Allow me to assist you…" chaos stepped into the room and Mary breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank Nephilim that you're here, chaos…" Mary smiled. "You'll know what to do!"

"Indeed I will…" chaos grinned as he thrust his arms up high, engaging in the NINJA EVIL TOUCH! Computer monitors began to blow out left and right as panic ensued. The same geysers from the room before spurted up into the Control Room, raining human blood all over the place.

"AHHHHH!!!!!" Shouted all of the Realians as the acid blood began to eat away at their flesh and melt from their bodies. All the Realians dissolved into puddles of acidly goop and died horrible deaths.

"No!" Mary watched the horror of it all as chaos danced down the aisle to Mary. He grinned and then reached up to touch her face. "Wait, your lipstick smeared…" He said as poisonous gases formed in his hand and then fed through Mary's body like a disease. She screamed as her eyes fell from her sockets, and her clotting blood began to push through her pores and drip to the floor in a congealed mess. Her hair fell from her head and dropped to the ground like leaves from a tree.

chaos began on his evil dance of doom as Mary's limbs fell from her body, steam coming out of her nose and ears as she crumpled to the floor like a ragged doll.

"Now, there is no one left stopping me in my reign of terror! The world will feel my wrath as it rains down upon them like evil spiders from their strands of web."

Meanwhile, Albedo and Virgil were still trying to put together the plasma screen…but they failed horribly. And since I'm so incredibly lazy right now (Because, I'm sorry to say that hmwk is more important sob ) I will not write out this scene.

In fact…I'm ending the chapter here, on a nice cliffhanger because I am so incredibly mean.

And…The story is ending in two chapters. Most probably anyway. Anywho, R&R (If you're not feeling spiteful and can restrain yourself from flaming me) and yeah. Ninja Evil Touch.

Kat