Fan Fiction ❯ Too Late ❯ I Wanted To... ( Chapter 1 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: IdiotGirl22 
What you think is right for someone else may be terribly wrong...
Short I know, the other chapters will be longer...
Anime/Manga: Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Psychological / Angst | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 04.25.2005 | Pages: 1 | Words: 700 | Visits: 264 | Status: Work In Progress
What you think is right for someone else may be terribly wrong...
Short I know, the other chapters will be longer...
Anime/Manga: Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Psychological / Angst | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 04.25.2005 | Pages: 1 | Words: 700 | Visits: 264 | Status: Work In Progress
I could hear her breathing as it came out in soft, whispering, sighs, growing acostom to the feeling of dread that one day soon I would have to leave her. What would I say when I had to go? What would she think of me then? And as all the times we spent together flashed before my bloodshot eyes I wondered what she thought of me now. Why was it mistakes only seemed to be realized after it was already too late to fix anything?
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I tried to fight off all the bad memories of us, and tried to think about how I could make things better tommorow, of how I would try to be better for her, just so I could give her a taste of what she deserved. But wasn't that what I always said to myself? Wasn't that what I always decided to say to her just so she would stay? I couldn't do that anymore, I couldn't pretend that I was okay with my life, that I was okay with treating her like filth because I was really disgusted with myself... So quietly I slowly got off the bed, gently removing my arm from around her full belly, containing my child that was due in a month, feeling more like the dog shit that I was every second that passed by for leaving her, for leaving them. It was for the best though wasn't it? Of course it was, I was doing this so she could see how much better off she was without me, and so my child wouldn't have to grow up knowing that I was more of a child then him.
Walking to my closet I opened the sliding door and removed my shirts that hung neatly where she had put them only a few hours before, and placed them at the foot of the bed, then moving discreetly to my dresser and taking my pants and such from the drawers, before placing those too at the foot of the bed. Sighing I pulled my suit case out from its dusty hiding place under the bed, putting all of my clothes inside it, and zipped it up.
Thoughts were whirling inside my head, as I walked out to the living room and pulled my old black hoodie over my head, trying to ignore the pain that kept stabbing my insides. Could I really leave her? Could I really stay away from her so she could be happy, or would my selfish desires get in the way? Silencing my thoughts I grabbed my wallet off the coffee table and left, my key to the apartment there in its place. I had to go before I changed my mind, so walking briskly to the door, I placed my hand on the cold knob, stopped for a secind, and looked over to the doorway to the bedroom, seeing her standing there silently.
It broke me in every way possible when I focused on her eyes. They told me out of all the wrong things I had done to her, this was the worst. But what else could I do? Stay there and ruin her more than I already have? No. I couldn't. So looking at her one last time, I saw her for how beautiful she really was, with the harsh light from the street lamp outside creating a glowing look about her, shadowing, and showing how round her belly truely was, her eyes seemed to stand out the most though, showing me that in the light surrounding her, there was darkness. And it was that moment that I wanted to stay the most, the funny thing was though, that even though I wanted to stay, I ended up walking out the door.
____________________________________________________________ _
This isn't the end, and yes it is short, but I felt if I wrote more it would really sound worse then it already is. So please tell me what you think, and what I could work on! Thanks!
Converting /tmp/php7j5Tyj to /dev/stdout
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I tried to fight off all the bad memories of us, and tried to think about how I could make things better tommorow, of how I would try to be better for her, just so I could give her a taste of what she deserved. But wasn't that what I always said to myself? Wasn't that what I always decided to say to her just so she would stay? I couldn't do that anymore, I couldn't pretend that I was okay with my life, that I was okay with treating her like filth because I was really disgusted with myself... So quietly I slowly got off the bed, gently removing my arm from around her full belly, containing my child that was due in a month, feeling more like the dog shit that I was every second that passed by for leaving her, for leaving them. It was for the best though wasn't it? Of course it was, I was doing this so she could see how much better off she was without me, and so my child wouldn't have to grow up knowing that I was more of a child then him.
Walking to my closet I opened the sliding door and removed my shirts that hung neatly where she had put them only a few hours before, and placed them at the foot of the bed, then moving discreetly to my dresser and taking my pants and such from the drawers, before placing those too at the foot of the bed. Sighing I pulled my suit case out from its dusty hiding place under the bed, putting all of my clothes inside it, and zipped it up.
Thoughts were whirling inside my head, as I walked out to the living room and pulled my old black hoodie over my head, trying to ignore the pain that kept stabbing my insides. Could I really leave her? Could I really stay away from her so she could be happy, or would my selfish desires get in the way? Silencing my thoughts I grabbed my wallet off the coffee table and left, my key to the apartment there in its place. I had to go before I changed my mind, so walking briskly to the door, I placed my hand on the cold knob, stopped for a secind, and looked over to the doorway to the bedroom, seeing her standing there silently.
It broke me in every way possible when I focused on her eyes. They told me out of all the wrong things I had done to her, this was the worst. But what else could I do? Stay there and ruin her more than I already have? No. I couldn't. So looking at her one last time, I saw her for how beautiful she really was, with the harsh light from the street lamp outside creating a glowing look about her, shadowing, and showing how round her belly truely was, her eyes seemed to stand out the most though, showing me that in the light surrounding her, there was darkness. And it was that moment that I wanted to stay the most, the funny thing was though, that even though I wanted to stay, I ended up walking out the door.
____________________________________________________________ _
This isn't the end, and yes it is short, but I felt if I wrote more it would really sound worse then it already is. So please tell me what you think, and what I could work on! Thanks!
Converting /tmp/php7j5Tyj to /dev/stdout