The Legend of Zelda: Twisted Futurity

Graffiti Decorations Under a Sky of Gray

Prelude

If he knew that he was going to be sucked into a blinding white light for the next seven years, he would've gladly stayed away from the Temple of Time. It always annoyed him how many Items of Time there were: Temple of Time, Door of Time, Tomb of Time, Song of Time, Hero of Time, Ocarina of Time. Was there a Light bulb of Time too? Because this light was seriously getting on his nerves; it was never ending, and he had the patience of a ladybug on the end of a stick.

He needed to work on his wit.

Just as he thought he couldn't possibly take anymore, when he thought that he should just blow up the Light bulb of Time or whatever it was shining in his eye, the light faded, leaving him with a semi-permanent reddish-purple glare in his beautiful crystalline blue eyes. He wondered why he never bothered to shield his eyes or close them. Little did he know he'd just had his first blonde moment.

"Welcome back Hero of Time."

Hero of Time. Yeah, that was him. He couldn't escape it; it followed him everywhere. People said it was his destiny. Well he didn't ask to be the Hero of Anything. Maybe the Hero of Zelda's bedroom; that was one hot bitch. He'd love to be Knight of those four corners. Alas, he was young, and she was interested only in the fate of her Kingdom. Pretty princesses did that sort of shit-they worried about the fate of others before their own fate. He never understood that. He worried about himself and nobody else, not even Saria-until he met Zelda. Some would call it a childhood crush. He'd call it his first boner. He'd have to settle for watching her and Impa run away from Gannondufus while he just stood there and watched because he was too small and ill equipped to do anything. He couldn't protect them without the Master Sword, he couldn't save Hyrule without the Ocarina of Time, and he couldn't start his day without Navi's annoying, shrilling voice in his delicate ears.

"Look Link! You're big!"

Well duh.

No one is that stupid that they don't notice immediate changes in their bodies-you know your own body. You know when something goes wrong or right with it. It is yours after all. Link felt bigger for one-in more than one area. For two, now all his clothes, armor and weapons actually fit; he didn't feel downloaded like he did with them when he was a child. And for three, Navi had the most annoying habit of stating the obvious hours after it was clearly obvious. Repeatedly. One of these days…

"…You…are not quite what I expected," the old man standing in front of him admitted freely. Link smirked, rolling his pretty blue eyes. "The Hero of Time is supposed to be filled with light, but in you…in you I sense a bit of darkness."

A bit of darkness. Why, because he was wondering how long it would take to suffocate Navi in one of his jars? She was annoying; he didn't have a fairy following him all over the universe bugging the hell out of him like a tiny version of his mother.

"What's so wrong with the dark?" the Hero asked smugly.

"….The light opposes the dark," the man replied patiently. "They clash frequently, and in this land, one must triumph over the other."

Link yawned.

The man observed the Hero carefully through wise old eyes. He was Rauru, the Sage of Light. All people had a bit of darkness in them; that was typical of anyone: fairy folk, Hyrulian, Goron, Zora-anyone inhabiting the land of Hyrule. But Gannondorf was pure evil, and to combat pure evil a source of pure goodness had to arise in the land. That source of pure good, of pure light was destined to be the Hero of time. And yet, this Hero was tainted. His mind was elsewhere, distracted, not focused on the mission at hand, on his destiny. He was careless and aloof, arrogant, smug and cocky. He was the total opposite of what the Hero was supposed to be: kind, caring, pure of heart and humble. Unfortunately, now it was too late to pick a new Hero. Destiny had chosen this one for a reason; whatever reason he hoped that she was prepared for the disastrous effect this Hero could possibly bring upon the Land.

"Be quiet!" the young boy hissed at his fairy. "Or I'll use you for fishing bait."

The fairy promptly shut her mouth.

"Hero of Time…" Rauru began sagely.

"Link," the Hero corrected, brushing off part of his tunic absently.

"…I merely address you by your proper title," Rauru offered cautiously. "I know you have a name Hero."

"My proper title is God," he responded almost immediately. "Isn't that what you people think I am? God? I'm supposed to save the Land of fucking Hyrule from the evil clutches of Gannondorf, rescue the fucking princess and fill the land with the light of the Triforce so that everyone can be fucking happy. Everyone but me. So I am God. I serve my people selflessly, I make sure everyone is happy and I walk away knowing that I've fulfilled my fucking destiny. I mean…isn't that what a god does? Protect his people selflessly because they serve him/her/it?"

Rauru would've been startled if he didn't sense that bit of darkness in him before. "You want the people to serve you?"

Link snorted. "The people already serve me. Look at all these fucking items, gadgets and do-dads. It's like 'Hey, there's the Hero of Time! We're all too lazy to get up off our asses and save our own land, so let's give him items so that he can do it for us!'"

"The people look to you to defend them," Rauru stated calmly. "It is the way it's supposed to be; it is part of the Legend of Time."

"Fuck, is there a Boot of Time too? Because I'd like to put it on and just start kicking some Asses of Time."

Rauru shook his head. "You are very angry and bitter. If you aren't careful, you will be the next Gannondorf. Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely."

"I don't have absolute powers," Link snapped. "You know what I do have? An absolute headache from all this incessant jabbering. Let's face it: I'm the Hero of Time. I'm not getting out of this. So just fucking tell me what I need to do so I can save Hyrule."

"…Perhaps we should chose a new Hero of Time…" Rauru muttered thoughtfully to himself.

Too bad Link had those sensitive ears; he could hear a fairy sneeze on Death Mountain from where he was. He heard Rauru loud and clear; he smirked, rolling his eyes once more. "Yeah, let's get a new Hero of Time. You know better than I do no one can do this job but me old man. I've got the Master Sword and the Ocarina of Time and I ain't handin' it over. So just tell me what I need to do so we can both go on about our business."

"…In the time that has past…"

"There's that word again," Link muttered to himself.

"…Gannondorf has managed to get a hold of the Triforce and become King of Evil. Hyrule is a wasteland of monsters. The people live in fear…"

"Blah blah blah," Link droned, massaging his temple delicately. "What the fuck do I have to do to save the Land of Hyrule."

"…Gannondorf is missing two pieces of the Triforce," Rauru continued patiently. "You must find the Sages of Time so that they can seal away the evil powers of Gannondorf forever, before he finds the two pieces that he's missing."

Link blinked, totally uninterested in what was being said. "Sages of Time," he repeated dully. "And where, pray tell do I find these Sages of Time oh wise and exalted one. In the Bar of Time sitting on Stools of Time drinking Beer of Time?"

"You are standing before one." As he spoke, a flash of bright light spread out before him, taking the shape of a golden medallion. "I am Rauru," he introduced himself. "I am the Sage of Light."

"Can you pull a Cucco out of your ear too?" Link questioned, faking his excitement.

"This Light Medallion will add the power of Light to your own powers," Rauru explained, ignoring the teenager's dry wit. As he spoke, the Light Medallion made it's way over to Link, stopping right in front of him. "You will need the power of all seven Sages before you find the other two pieces of the Triforce and confront Gannondorf for the last time."

Link snorted, picking up the Medallion and looking it over. There wasn't anything special about it; it didn't hum with power or magic and he certainly wasn't attracted to it. "Is that all?" Before the last word was out of his mouth the Medallion disappeared in a spray of light. If he had his master sword out, he'd have noticed the symbol of Light appear in that same spray on the hilt of his Master Sword.

"You will not be alone on this journey," Rauru went on. "You will receive help; you will have a companion. He is not to be underestimated by any means; he may not have your power Link, but he will be of great service to you."

"He?" Link almost laughed. "He better stay out of my way; I've already been blessed with one faithful companion I'm on the verge of maiming. I don't need two."

From the ceiling he dropped just then, landing as agilely and graceful as a cat on his feet. He was about 5'5", short golden hair all tucked into some mask covering most of his face, except for red eyes that shone with the mischievous determination of a young man age, perhaps leaning a bit more towards seriousness. He was lean and fit, not muscular like Link had become. He wore some blue and gray outfit that Link wasn't particularly interested in at the moment, but pieces of shredded cloth covered his wrists, ribs, head and part of his back. His nails were long, as were his eyelashes. He saw no hint of weaponry whatsoever on his person. The Hero smirked, and the other boy gave a short bow of respectful acceptance. "I am Sheik," he introduced himself in a muffled tone.

"I am unimpressed," Link responded, waving him off. He turned around, staring out at the nothingness before him. He was on a platform suspended in mid-air, hanging upon nothing, graced with six medallion symbols and the Triforce in the center. He guessed that Rauru stood on the Light Medallion. According to this platform, there were only six Sages, but Rauru said that there were seven. The old man must've forgotten how to count. "Can we go now?" he called back over his shoulder. "I may be the Hero of Time, but I'm not made out of it; I don't have all fucking day you know."

Sheik turned to Rauru, wisps of golden hair falling into his eyes. "He's become rather cocky," he informed the Sage. "He wasn't like that as a child."

"…Watch him," Rauru ordered the young man. "Keep him on the path destiny has paved for him; don't let him stray from it. Because if he does, there will no longer be a Hyrule."

Sheik nodded. He understood.

"Remember young Hero of Time," Rauru announced to Link as a rift opened in front of the young boy in the very air itself, allowing him entrance into the Temple of Time. "Power corrupts, but absolute power corrupts absolutely."

"Get laid," Link muttered before pulling himself through the rift. "Please."

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