Fan Fiction ❯ What I Need ❯ Chapter 1 ( Prologue )

What I Need

I hopped on the computer right when I entered the door from my long day at school. The computer was always a joy, a way for me to forget all that had gone on that day (maybe not necessarily a good thing) and to be someone else…myself.

It was very difficult for me to be myself in the real world. I was terribly shy, a loner if you will. I said hi if someone said hi, but then I left it at that. I wasn't much of a conversationist, but if you hit me up with something I liked or was familiar with and ready to talk about, you might get tired of listening to me, then wonder how you could ever get tired of listening to me when I spoke so rarely.

I am not quick to make friends, not that I don't want friends, but I'm not a peppy person so most people would be discouraged by me. I'm not a mean or grumpy person either, just rather boring I suppose. You say hi, I say hi, then you might introduce yourself, and I will too. After that, really its up to you, because like I stated before, I'm not much of a talker, so if you don't have anything that you might want to talk about, the conversation ends there, and I have made yet, another bad impression of myself.

That is pretty much how my day goes, I go to school, fall asleep in class, eat lunch, work, and come home. I can make it the whole day without saying a word, that is if I have lunch at the vending machines, other wise I have to tell the guy at register my order. But, that may be the only words that come out of my mouth, depending on how friendly the rest of the crowd is.

So here I am, having thrown my book bag on my bed and in front of the computer, ready to hit up a game called Marines at War II. As quiet and mundane as I seem at school, one would never expect to see that I find enjoyment in a game that is action packed and filled with such violence as killing and shooting off at the mouth of the online opponents to one another. I too was participating in this badgering of the opposing team, swearing and laughing, making fun, gloating, whining. Being elated when my team won and thoroughly pissed when we took a loss. Getting into flame wars with cheaters and laughing at "newbies." It was great, a great way for me to bring some action into my life, even if it wasn't real. It stinks having a computer for you're best friend, but there was no one else.

I once dated a guy I had met online (go figure). It turned out to be quite a mistake. I should have known that he would be sex-crazed, and me the virgin wasn't ready for that kind of relationship so I had to break it off, and haven't had a date since then.

I've had my crushes too, especially a recent one, this guy I saw in chemistry. He is absolutely amazing. Beautiful brown eyes, just a dash of freckles across his nose, light brown hair, the most gorgeous face I'd seen all year, right there at arms length. All I could do is stare at his beauty. All I could do is wish that I was that girl that was sitting next to him, asking him to explain to her what the professor had just stated. Even if I could think up a good question to ask him, I couldn't ask it. I was pathetic. Even after 18 years of life, I still didn't have the courage to pursue something I really wanted. Its not like I would just go up to him and tell him I like him or anything. I didn't have to do that, this was college. I could just be friendly, be his friend, if that was all it turned into. I couldn't even do that. I made myself sick.

Especially when I could turn my personality 180 degrees when I played MWII. I am a total contradiction. No one online would ever see me as this shy girl hiding behind a veil of hair and hardly whispering. No one at school, that had actually talked to me would think I had the capability of saying FUCK YOU to a guy that just shot me in the head and not think twice about it.

I've finally had enough of MWII, and decided to read some clan forums before I get off the computer to do some much needed homework. I happened to be a member of the clan called *RN*, the Ruff Necks. We had the most talented clan. We had the most veteran players. We had the most witty players. We had the baddest players, and what's worse, we had the baddest leader, Pompas. He would slap down any person in seconds with a few words. He had the best comebacks to all the little shits that thought they could out do any *RN* member. He hated everyone…and everyone hated him. He did not say a nice word to anyone that was not a part of his clan. The ones that left were cast down and kicked hard before they were finally allowed to leave. He was a funny guy really, he always makes me laugh. He also encourages me to be bold and free, to be like him. Not let anyone cross me without getting crossed 3 times over. Make them all sorry they ever breathed the same air. I like to think I have that kind of power, especially on the Net. It's so much fun, like living a dream except I'm not asleep, but not quite fully awake either.

Of course there's a flame war going on in our message board. Some other clan thinks they can beat us, <TS> (The Specialists). There is a tournament going on for MWII, and our next opponent is these band of fools. We spanked the other team so bad that everyone ought to know that championship title has our name on it. What the fuck is up with these wankers? So of course I join in. The match is still two weeks away and these fuckers are already starting shit, ah well.

I type up a witty post (at least I think its witty) then I get prepared to sign off when my ICQ (an instant messenger service) beeps again, with yet another person wanting me to add them to my list. For the lack of friends I have in real life, I have a TON on ICQ. All my clan members are on here, some other ally type of people that aren't hostile, and a few of the enemy, just because it's a lot of fun to tell them how much they suck when we kick their asses.

Hmm, Diamond. Hey I know that guy, he posted a few times on *RN* board. Dakkon, a member of the clan I'm in told me he was a member of an older clan, *TF* (Ten Fold) which is labeled one of the best squads in the history of MWII, if not the best squad. It died a month after I started to play MWII, but I had experienced their ultra dominance of game many times before they finally disbanded. Dakkon, and Bud light had been members of *TF*, and now that they were members of *RN*, I felt rather honored to have the privilege of playing with guys that had been on a legendary team. The rest of the members had scattered about and moved to newer games, or different clans, or retired from online gaming for a while. Though it was rumored that the leader of *TF* had joined a rival clan, ^D^ (dynamite). Optimus, who had hung his tags and retired from the game appeared to have returned, but ^D^ was a clan that was suspected of cheating, it wasn't expected of Optimus to join that clan. But then, the cheating allegations didn't pop up until weeks after Optimus had left the game, so we all gave him the benefit of the doubt and decided he didn't know about the cheating. (so much drama in a game)

So this Diamond fella wanted to add me to his ICQ. I was kinda hyped, seeing as he was kinda famous and all. Though I have to admit, I made quite a name for myself, Aphrodite is the name I used. And most thanks to Pompas, anyone associated with him was instantly known. Though that didn't automatically make me disliked. As a matter of fact, a lot of the respectable players in MWII got along quite well with a majority of the members in *RN*, but NONE got along with Pompas. I was continually asked why I was in Ruff Necks, that I should quit and join a nicer clan, but I always just laughed and said "whateva." Being in Ruff Necks gave me power, the kind of power and control I longed for in my own life but could not seem to grasp on to. There was no way I was giving that up, even if it was internet power.

"Is this Aphrodite?" Diamond asked, since the name that popped up initially was my email address.

"Yeah," I answered back. "So what's up?"

"Ah nothing," Diamond replied. "Just looking for new people to add to my ICQ. Thinking about making a comeback to MWII, and saw ya name on *RN* board so I added you and some others. I sorta remember you from a while back before *TF* died."

"Oh yeah," I answered. "Well I remember *TF* when I first started to play, but I don't necessarily remember you. I saw you post a few times on *RN* board though."

"Yeah I figured that," he replied.

Hmm, he's a little rude. Guess I'll let him get away with that for now.

"So what's up with you," Diamond asked after a small pause. "Whatcha doin tonight, and no I'm not askin ya on a date, just startin up a conversation."

"Well I wasn't even gonna think that," I snapped back, as best I could with some typed words. Damn this guy has a bit of an attitude problem. "I was just getting ready to-"

"I saw on a thread on the board there that you like DBZ," Diamond quickly replied. I was surprised to see that, most people laughed at me when I said I liked it, since it was such a "kids shows" so then I expected him to start cracking jokes. I backspaced what I was going to type and began to type that I wasn't in the mood to hear him make fun of me.

"I like Dragon Ball Z too, but don't tell anyone," he said.

I was totally shocked. Well maybe not totally, but pleasantly surprised yes. Though he wasn't the first person to tell me that they like DBZ in private, I most certainly wasn't expecting it from an elite *TF* member. "Ah that's cool," I replied, relaxing a little. I already had something on the guy, hah. Especially since he didn't want others to know. Hmm, where can I go with this…

The rest of the evening was spent with me listening, or rather, reading his whole view on DBZ. It was quite entertaining, he was more into it than I was! And I thought I was hard core, this guy was blowing me out of the water. I hadn't had a conversation like this ever. It was quite amazing, me being totally into a conversation over the internet, with some guy I just met about my favorite anime show. Wow I need a life.

Couldn't help feeling warm all over when we signed off though…