Fan Fiction ❯ When Gods Sin ❯ One-Shot

This one is a sequel, of sorts, of Slave to the Stars i was meant to be more so, but... Anyway, this is written for Jaittsuko_Kureiko, who asked me (on mediaminer.org) to write a sequel. Sometimes i feel compelled to do what people ask >.<

audi
thegoddes@goddess.com

When Gods Sin
A Conclusion to an Unwritten Tale

Once upon a time…

No, wait, scratch that. 'Once upon a time' means a story involves fairies, princesses, knights in shining armour and dragons. This story does not. This is the story of two men. This is the story of how Their love, a true deep love, meant all Their fears would come back and haunt them, again and again. This is the story of the pains that two Beings had to suffer to be together. This is the story of two Gods whose lives were so intertwined that separation meant eternal suffering, which is worse than death itself.

Upon the Creation of the perfect little planet, Xeen, came a need for Gods to rule over her. Naturally, this meant that Gods were needed to govern the cycles of the moons and the sun. In this frame of mind, Ryuujin, the All Father, Created Taiyou and Tsuki to watch and protect the sun and the moons, respectively. They were Created together, two halves of a whole, two Beings that could not and would not live without one another. The Gods shared a deep love for each other; a deep, forbidden love. The moons represented all that was nocturnal. They were mysterious and beautiful, but to be watched from afar. The sun was all mighty, it brought the day that helped things grow. People worshipped Taiyou almost as much as they did Ryuujin.

This is the story that tells of the effect behind a cause. This is the story that tells how two lovers were punished for wanting to be together. This is the story that occurs after the All Father found Taiyou in Tsuki's nocturnal dwelling. This is the story of the punishment They were forced to endure.

Ryuujin found the two lovers in the Moons God's dwelling, where the Moon God was supposed to be all alone. This was utterly forbidden. They were supposed to be alone so that They could do Their jobs correctly. They were doing everything but Their jobs, the moons and the sun were the furthest thing from Their minds. So, Ryuujin punished Them. Ryuujin told Them that, since They would not halt seeing each other, that He would allow Them to be together. While this doesn't sound like a punishment, there was a condition; They had to pass three tests first. The lovers agreed before He finished talking, and then it was too late.

This is the story of what two lovers did to stay together. This is the story of how the God of the Moons watched the God of the Sun be beaten, raped, murdered and worse, through three mortal life spans. This is the story of the pain that Taiyou had to go through, unknowingly for a sin He wanted to commit. This is the story of the pain that Tsuki had to go through as He watched the man He loved in so much pain, knowing that if He made so much as a single move to stop it, all would be lost. This is the story that tells of the third and final task.

Today is the twenty-third. It's another thing that I just know. I've been here for twenty-three days and I'll probably be here for more. I've no hope of being let out, I know. I know. How easy it is to write that! As soon as I finish writing this piece (which will be as soon as my eating-light is removed once more), I'll sit in the corner and dream of a freedom that I'll never know again. I know this, too. This is fact. This is logic. This is reason. No wonder the Knowledge Movements made so little mark on the world! The truth hurts, but then again, so does everything else. I want to be out of here. This is a place for evildoers, murderers and the like, not for me. I've done nothing wrong! I've written that only a small amount of the times I've claimed it which isn't even comparable to the amount of times I've told myself. No one listens to me - not my family, not the villagers or the city folk, not the judge or the warden. Nobody. I think I am starting to go insane. That's their claim, you know. "He's mentally unfit to be with the rest of society. We'll keep him somewhere safe where he cannot harm himself or others." And this is safe? I would end it all now, if I could. I want to. I can't stand this torture, this pain. Only twenty-three days, some people here have been here at least eighty, that's what the man in the next cell shouted. He's delirious, apparently he murdered his wife and children and he's mad. I'm not mad and I murdered no one. All I wanted --- Naoko closed his book with a sigh as his light was stolen. He had had a family, about a hundred days ago. A hundred days ago it went wrong.

He was the son of a cook and a serving man of a rich noble who watched over a small province. He grew up knowing his place and knowing how to treat his betters, and he did a well enough job of it. Since he was little, Naoko had been allowed to go where he pleased along the noble's manor, so long as he wasn't seen by the noble, his wife or whomever else he was aquatinted with. He did that with ease for he enjoyed his leeway and freedom at the manor and did not want his privileges revoked.

Naoko was his parents' only living child, and they loved him dearly. However, their jobs required them to work for many hours a day and be on call for the hours they we not officially working. He saw little of them, but he learned to live without. It was a lonely life he led, until he was about thirteen years old. Being the son of two loyal servants, Naoko had been allowed to have a (meagre) education and could read, write and do his sums. One day he was sitting in the library, reading a book on the Gods, when someone entered. Not just any someone, mind, the noble lord's own eldest son.

Aji knew that he was important and that anyone would listen to him and do what he said, and he carried himself with an air of noble grace. He was about sixteen, tall and gorgeous. Why Aji would want to talk to Naoko was beyond him. But he did none-the-less. And he continued to talk to him, not that only one day, but day after day. It was always Aji that found him, and every day Naoko looked forward to seeing him.

As with every nobleman's son, Aji was betrothed with little say in the matter to a noble lady from a noble family, about three years after the first meeting in the library. She and her family were visiting the manor to seal the betrothal and people were bustling about in every inverse direction. Again Naoko sat in the library, this time with no hopes of seeing Aji. Well, he thought he had no hope. It was sometime around dusk, when the party would be starting, that the nobleman's son waltzed into the library in commoner's clothing. Most people wouldn't have recognized him, but Naoko knew him straightaway; there was no way he could mistake him, ever. Aji's request was a simple one, he wanted Naoko to take him into the village so that he could be away from the people and the madness for a bit. Naoko complied, eager to help.

When they got to the village they found a small, deserted area and sat. It was pleasant, Naoko thought, he was sitting with his friend, alone, and it was a nice day, on top of all that. And then Aji leaned over and kissed him, fiercely and hungrily. Naoko was in shock, he'd never expected him to do something like that. Dreamed and hoped, maybe, but never expected. What followed next were heated words about how much Aji wanted the younger boy, and then there was some fumbling and the like. Then they weren't alone anymore. Someone had discovered them, they had probably heard them.

If a girl and a boy were to be caught doing what they were doing, they'd be looked down upon and shunned. Things like that were to be kept private. There'd be no more mention of it, though. If, however, two boys (or, for that matter, two girls) were found, together, it was a different story. It was wrong, unmoral and unjust. It just wasn't done. Whenever it happened, which was very rarely indeed, the two boys (or girls) were reminded of what happened between the Gods Taiyou and Tsuki, and how even the All Father couldn't forgive Them for such a sin. Then they were punished severely for the said sins.

It should be noted that it was immediately thought that Naoko was the wrongdoer in the situation. Insofar as the villagers, townspeople, nobles, servants… and so forth were concerned, it must have been Naoko's evil deeds that forced Aji to do what he did. Nobody ever thought that Aji might have initiated it. Nobody ever thought that there was no way the younger, smaller, weaker boy could force the noble's son to do anything let alone that. Aji got sympathy and, needless to say, he admitted to nothing, and Naoko got 'special treatment'. His family disowned him and nobody he'd known wanted anything to do with him. He was left, therefore, at the 'treatment facilities' that was supposed to be top notch, but was nothing more than a house full of sadistic men who delighted in the torture of whomever they were given.



Sanity is a feeble thing. It is a state of mental health which means very little in the scheme of things. How easy it is to be considered insane! In truth, sanity and mental health are different things, different but entwined. Mental health is a stability of the mind, a point in time where one is mentally fit to do whatever one pleases. Insanity is when one chooses to go too far with what they please. This sometimes leads to mental illness.

Naoko was neither insane nor mentally ill - physically ill, definitely. True he had committed some sins, well, sins in others' eyes. Besides, it was Aji who made the move, Naoko was too afraid to. It was Aji who had the upper hand. Aji. Aji. Aji. Naoko didn't protest, it wasn't rape, one can't rape the willing. Even if it had been, the outcome would have probably been the same. As it was, people were convinced that Naoko raped Aji, which would have been an interesting conclusion from the look of things. Rumour spreads and tales fester. Naoko wanted to crawl in a corner and die. Heh, like that was going to happen!

He wanted to get out of the hellhole before they had their way with him again. One can only take so much pain, and he was way past his breaking point. Aji hadn't raped him, but the same couldn't be said for the men of the 'mental facility'.

There was a light in the darkness, a single, moving light. Naoko cringed and tried to hide in his cell. The light was most unwelcome. Everyone knew that that light meant the warden was coming to claim the next victim. Everyone hoped it wouldn't be them. Some prisoners were favourites, in that they got called away for 'treatment' more often than others, some not so often. Naoko knew that he was a favourite. He knew that the light came to his door more than any other. It was probably because he was 'that beautiful young boy - he's only sixteen!! - who was caught with the other boy. I want him to play with him!' and, of course, the 'doctors' always got want they wanted.



Gods this hurts! Gods, how can you punish me for being who I am? What have I done wrong? How can it be wrong? Oh! it hurts so much! Spare me some mercy, oh! Gods, and let me die!! I've been punished enough! Let me leave this torture! Naoko begged silently as he lay in a muddled heap on the cold, stone floor. He was surprised he could feel anything at all, but every time he moved a fresh wave of pain lashed through him. And, oh!, what pain!



It was a dream of unconsciousness. Unlike a normal dream, things made some sense, but they were distant. Not far, but just beyond reach. It was an inner reality within a pained true reality. Naoko found sanctuary in these dreams, for one reason or another. There he could forget about the pain and the suffering. There he could let his mind wander and pretend that all is well and right and… Who was he trying to kid anyway?

As real as things seemed, these dreams always took place in a non-existent time in-between the night and the day. The moons, all three, were there as was the sun, the vividly bright sun. Naoko idly wondered if it meant anything. He was happy, however, in the nonexistent reality. Forever past in moments, and moments past so quickly. He was alone in that space, alone and secluded. But he didn't hurt. He couldn't feel the pain, and that was a benefit. There he didn't have to worry about the trivial matters of living, or wonder why he was being punished.



A voice was calling to him, but it wasn't his name. "Watashi no kokoro, watashi no ai…" My heart, my love…. The phrase kept ringing through his head and maybe his cell. The voice was a gentle caress that Naoko welcomed. Was he still dreaming? He concentrated on the voice, the pure peacefulness of it sent shivers down his spine. He wanted to reach out to the voice, he wanted to find the speaker. Why did it seem so familiar to him? Oh Gods, he never wanted it to stop.

Watashi no kokoro, watashi no ai…

He was loved. Someone out there loved him, even if it was only a dream. He was going to come and take him away from the awful place, Naoko decided as he became engrossed in the sound of the voice.



"C'mon! Get yer arse up!" Naoko's mind registered that to be the voice of the warden, no where near comparable to that of the man in the dreams. "Yer a wanted by da bosses." It was too soon, Naoko thought. It was too soon after the last time, he hadn't even been allowed a meal since then. It wasn't as if he could refuse a summon, but he couldn't exactly stand up. It hurt too much. Somehow the warden must have sensed it and he walked in and heaved him up. The warden saved him from being punished for disobeying, but made it so that Naoko got there that much sooner.

The room in which he was brought wasn't foreign to him in the least. He knew it well, the dark red walls, red like blood, and the elegant decorations. The room had been thought about. Naoko suspected that it was for show, for people that worried about the 'treatment facilities'. It looked to be a normal bedroom, a fancy one but normal none-the-less. The cells weren't shown on tours, but, rather, some 'patients' were moved into rooms such as the one he was standing in. It was all for show. He knew it, the others knew it. But still things continued.

The warden let him go and walked out of the room, Naoko promptly fell to the floor. He hadn't any strength left, none at all. There was man sitting in the corner, one he didn't recognize. He expected him to be smiling, but a frown sat on his face. He tusked and walked towards Naoko. The boy froze in terror.

"Calm yourself, I mean you no harm." He reached out to lift the small boy and dropped him on the bed. The bed was soft, it felt nice, Naoko reflected. "You've been wrongly accused," he continued, "and I mean to get you out of here. Unless, of course, you'd rather stay in this… place?"

Naoko tried to give him a thankful smile, he failed.

"It's against all the rules, mind, but I can't stand it any longer. You understand that, right?"

Soon, though how soon Naoko knew not, he was carried out of the 'treatment facilities' and into a carriage that waited for the man. It drove off as he sat down, and through the whole ride he had Naoko cradled to him, holding him securely. He felt the warmth of not only the man's body, but also that of his heart. Still, there was something tragic about it all, and he couldn't puzzle it out. He easily lost himself in the warmth, whatever is was, and drifted off in to a much needed, dreamless sleep.



The musical voice calling 'watashi no kokoro, watashi no ai' rung through his head, even after he left the dream world. The voice was pleasant, and welcome. Like that man who came to rescue him. Well, unless that was a dream as well. Naoko had gotten to the point where he believed anything 'nice' or 'wonderful' was probably a dream, but most of his dreams were anything but 'nice and wonderful'.

As he registered his surroundings, he felt a soft padding beneath him and a gentle weight pressed on his body. He was on a bed, a grand one at that, and under a large, warm duvet. Whilst his head was a bit foggy, his body didn't ache him quite so much. Further inspection showed him he was not alone, right by his side sat the man his saviour in a chair with a book propped open on his lap. He was not reading the book. He could just make out the man in the light, and he was anything but natural - gorgeous, yes, natural, not quite. His hair was long, flowing and the colour of the midnight sky. His skin was white, so pale it glowed. If it was, indeed, the man who had called to him in his dreams, his eyes would be blue, every known shade of blue.

"I hope you slept well," the book was pushed aside and the man looked at him. Naoko managed a weak nod, that seemed to satisfy the man, and he smiled. "Are you feeling well enough to eat? You probably need to." Naoko managed to nod once more. The man smiled again, got up and retrieved a tray from the other side of the room. "I know this doesn't look too appealing, but you're still healing." Actually, the look of the contents made Naoko's mouth water; soup of some kind (soup, not broth, there's a difference), warm, soft bread, and some thing that could have been a fruit paste (he'd seen Aji with one once, and been allowed to have some, quite good) as well as some tea and some water. The man fed him, spoonful by spoonful they worked their way through the entire tray, until all that was left was the tea. He poured out two cups and, setting his aside, brought Naoko's to his lips.

"…Thank you…" the words were hard to say, not because he was insincere, but because he lacked the strength. That and the fact that he hadn't spoken much in some time, only screamed. It was hard to remember that he could.

"Of course," he answered, as if it was some kind of given. "Can you hold this yourself? The warmth will do you good." Naoko nodded and the man took Naoko's hands and placed them around the cup. "That place was horrid, can you really expect me to sit and watch that kind of suffering commence? No, Naoko, I'm not cruel. By the way, you may call me Taiin, that is what I am known as here, and you may stay as long as you like; but cannot leave until the doctors say so."

"Leave?" he croaked. That single word stood out to him for some reason he thought he'd stay there forever, he thought he was saved by the man Taiin.

"I hope not," he repeated. "If you want to leave, I'll not stop you, but I hope that you'd consider staying. You will have every right to, and I'll understand if you do. More of that later, though, watashi no kokoro, now you need to sleep so that you can get better." Naoko was surprised, never had he been treated quite so nicely, like he was someone special, someone loved. Reflecting, even Aji, the man he thought he loved, was never really that nice to him. Naoko had known Taiin for a few days. As he left consciousness, he felt the man's hand running through his long, blond hair. The hair needed a cut badly, it wasn't cared for in the 'treatment facility' and it was hard to remember his last cut, so Naoko didn't know how Taiin could run his hand so smoothly through his hair… It felt nice though.



He woke again, more refreshed than before. The hand was holding on to his. He opening his eyes to see Taiin leaning back in his chair and he gazed at the hand with the midnight locks.

"Sleep well?" Naoko nodded. Taiin fed him another meal and Naoko momentarily wondered if Taiin had left the room or his side since he had arrived. He also wondered why Taiin was being so kind to him. he was loving and caring and somewhere in his mind he knew he should have been caution, he was too weak should Taiin care to try anything. But would Naoko protest?

"You're healing nicely, not too much longer before you can get out of bed and on your feed. This room can get confining after a while."

" Taiin?" Naoko looked at the other man, "why?" he paused, "you're so kind to me, why?"

"I couldn't watch you suffer there, that was no place for a boy like you, nor was your life before that. You're different than them, Naoko, you're special. People hate you, Naoko, because they're jealous, but you needn't worry. From now on, I'm here with you, always here with you."

It was cryptic and Naoko didn't quite know what to make of it, so he just let it by. He put his energy into getting better, he wanted to show Taiin that he was worth the effort - thought he wasn't sure about that. He was healing, but the pain was still there. It was always there as a reminder, and he doubted that it would ever pass. The cuts, wounds and bruises faded until all he had left was a handful of angry scars and marks. Taiin kept him in the room, however, even after he proved that he could walk again. Taiin never left, at least not when Naoko was awake.

"How would you like to go and walk the grounds?"

"I think I'd like that very much."

He nodded and smiled, "I thought so. I need to leave for a little bit, there's something that I need to take care of, but after I get back we can take a nice walk in the moonlight."

"Promise?" Naoko looked at him hopefully and Taiin nodded again, kissed his forehead and walked out of the room, leaving him alone and unguarded.



He was being held by strong arms and gentle words were being whispered in his ear. Watashi no kokoro, watashi no ai; my heart, my love. Lips touched his in a gentle, passionate kiss that ended too soon when the being called Taiin pulled away. There was someone standing there. The newcomer had red hair, redder than hair should be, red like blood on fire, and he was wearing commoner's clothing although he had an air of being anything but common.

"You're causing more suffering for yourself, Brother. Your weakness is going to get You in more trouble than You already are. Let it happen so that the test is over."

"And left him die? Can You really expect that of Me, Brother? And what happens if Father decides to break His word?"

He ignored Taiin's question: "I can do it for You, and then You can finally return to Your stations, happily at last."

"You really believe it all?" he-He?-sounded amazed.

The redhead was balancing a dagger in one hand, "it would be so much easier, for the both of You."

He threw the dagger and just before it hit, Naoko awoke with a start, finding himself in Taiin's arms.

"Hush, hush now." Taiin's hand ran through his hair, hair that had been recently bathed and cut. "Let us take that walk now."

And so they did. Taiin took Naoko's hand and they walked through the moonlit garden together, silently. To Naoko, it looked like Taiin was contemplating something. He led him to an engraved bench, and they sat, Taiin staring at the moons, Daiichi and Daini.

"Once," he began, "there were two Men that made a pledge on a night, very much like this one. They promised each other that They wouldn't allow anyone to come between Them. When challenged by Their Father, They accepted. They never wanted to part, and in order to ensure that, They set out for a task that seemed easy at the time." Taiin took Naoko's hand between both of his and gently rubbed as he spoke, "three tests, three mortal life spans… with a good couple hundred years in-between them. Not hard, not too much to ask. To endue… Half a millennium later, They're still not fully reunited, and one of Them seriously doubts that They'll ever be allowed to have Their wish…"

"You're talking of Taiyou and Tsuki," Naoko commented. After the whole Aji ordeal, he'd gotten a talk on the two Gods. He'd also read all there was to read on Them.

He made an affirmative sound. "Maybe the story will end happily one day…" He dropped Naoko's hand and cupped his face, gazing into crystal eyes. "Why did it have to happen like this?"

Naoko tilted his head in confusion at the same time Taiin looked up suddenly. As in the dream, they were no longer alone. As in the dream, the newcomer was of flaming hair. As in the dream, He carried a dagger, balanced in his hand.

"It's time, just think, this time it won't be in suffering," He stepped forward and Taiin - by this time Naoko was sure that He was a God - enclosed Naoko in his arms, hiding him from the approaching figure. "Tsuki, You know that this has to be done. Let Me finish it quickly and end the story here."

"Brother, if you dare…!!"

"If I dare what? At least You know that He'll come back to You. This can be the final chapter in the story of Taiyou and Tsuki. Others, have not been so lucky."

Naoko was trembling in fear. Taiin was Tsuki, the God of the Moons? He was… Taiyou?! Final chapter… "Taiin…" he whispered, for Him alone to hear, "let him…"

The hands cupped his face again, and the God's soft lips met his. All was black.



This is the story of what happened to the two Gods that defied Their Father not once, but twice. This is the story of two Beings so much in love that it no longer mattered to Them. This is the story of what happened to put two of the most gentle and adored Gods on trial when so much else was happening in the world. This is a story that might never well be finished for time continues as does Their love.