Fan Fiction ❯ White Tower Saga ❯ White Tower Saga ( Chapter 1 )

Chapter 1 -

I was dreaming of rose petals. The was no story to the dream, like most of those I can remember… no beginning or end… no continuity… only a wonderful sensation of happiness and the imagery of rose petals. I was content. Looking back upon it now, I wonder if there was some sort of connection between the warmth of the dream I was enraptured in and the horror which would take me soon… a sort of karmic pre-compensation. I was startled out of my slumber to the crash of thunder outside my windowpane. More streaks of lightning flashed before my eyes, stabbing to the ground to points unseen faster than I could count. I had never been frightened of lightning before, but the fury of the storm had me stark with fear. There was no pattering of rain on the rooftop, no moistness to the air. The whole storm had an insidious aura. I heard the gong ringing, and terror flooded through me. Everyone who lived the Borderlands knew what that gong meant: a Trolloc raid. I saw my father stumbling out of the doorway from his room, grabbing his sword as he ran. He called for me then, but his words were drowned out by the crashes of a thunderbolt so near that our windows shattered inwards. As I was peppered with small bits of glass, I shrieked and tried to hide my head under the covers. The door broke open, and a bestial figure ducked under the frame. It was the first time I had ever seen one of these monsters alive. It had a wicked beak, with deeply recessed eyes and a barbed tail. The covers were clutched tight in my white knuckled grip, drawn up to cover my face up to my eyes. I am not sure why; at sixteen, nearly seventeen, I should have known that covers were no protection from a Trolloc... however blind panic has a way of making your mind devoid of reason. I heard Father roar, and the running feet of my mother. A second beast entered, this one with a pig snout and tusks. It grabbed at me, but only got the white sheets to my bed as I spun out and away from it. Running to my father for protection, I saw him stumble and fall, clutching at his red chest. I cried out for him, and yet I knew the truth. I caught his body, holding him as he crumpled, my hands slicked with blood. I turned around to see the two Trollocs moving towards me slowly. They obviously had no intent to kill, their swords by their sides. I knew the horrible truth then: that I was about to be taken captive by the monsters, a fate much worse than death. I cast my hands forward, feeling my terror flow out of me in red waves. The world twisted before me, impossible twines of light twisting out from me and binding the two Trollocs. They screamed an inhumanly pitched whine of agony and blackened, then exploded into flames. As their death cries rang out and seemed to echo through the house, the horrid smell of burning flesh struck my nostrils, and the world faded into blackness as I collapsed.Sleep claimed me then, though not restful slumber such that we have between the days. It was sleep wracked with fever dreams of fire, blood and death. I had little perception of time, other than I knew that days were passing me by as my body refused to wake.I finally awoke with my blond hair tangled in my eyes. My head was pounding terribly, and the bright sun did not help any. My body was deeply feverish, but a cool zephyr blew about me as it breezed down our path. I felt a slight bumping, and I realized that I was in a makeshift gurney, being carried down a forested path, carried by two muscular men. Both wore dark green tunics over chain mail shirts and had keen swords in their belts. They had swirling cloaks on that never seemed to be the same color, playing tricks on my eyes. I noticed I was still in my linen nightgown, though a dark blue blanket was draped over me. I went to bed bare under my garb, so I adjusted it to make it a bit more decent. I shielded my eyes from the sun as I tried to look at the man’s face at the feet of the gurney's face. He smiled. I heard feminine voices from up ahead of me.“Really now, Rena, I had always thought that five was kind of excessive, but they are useful now. Combined them with Nicholas here and we have enough to carry the girls all the way to Tar Valon even after you lost our horses.” The voice was melodious and tender. Another voice, presumably Rena, responded with a laugh that was so beautiful it made my heart skip a beat. “They are very useful, Trista, for so many different things.” I looked around, trying to figure out what under the Light they were talking about. By craning my neck, I could see beside me were four more men, each carrying similar gurneys.. The voices had talked about six somethings, and I guessed they were talking about the men. The women had talked about the men like they owned them… five for one and one for the other.In the gurneys were girls that I knew: Amanda and Lisandre. Amanda was a friend of a friend; quite tall for a girl, forceful, almost to the point of being a bully. She thought she could talk you into doing what she wanted. She was wearing a blue skirt split for riding and a white blouse top, and it showed ample skin that was white as snow. She had a fair number of boys chasing her back home, despite how commanding she could be. Lisandre was covered up to her chin with a blanket like me. Her skin was darkly tanned. The man carrying the gurney closest to my head called out. “Rena, this one is awake.”The men stopped, and I could hear the girls next to me starting to stir. A woman clad in green walked over to me. I barely stifled a gasp at her clothing, if it could be called that. A girl wearing something like that at home would be whipped for indecency. She wore a skirt cut off at her mid thigh, so that it was barely a half span long. Her shirt barely went to the bottom of her breasts, and lying down as I was on the gurney, I could see up the cut and to her bosom. I could not put an age to her, probably her mid twenties, but by the Light she was beautiful. She came over to me and put her hand on my forehead, her eyes closed. I glanced sideways, and saw the other women doing similar things to the other girls. After a few moments, she opened her eyes. She smiled in a loving manner, and started to talk.“Do you know who you are?” she asked.“My name is Jessara, my father is Reginald, and my mother..."

She cut me off quickly. “What is the last thing you remember?”“I remember… oh Light! My family! Are they alive?”“Well, I cannot be entirely sure..." There was deceit in her eyes, and she made little effort to conceal it. I clung to the hope that she was wrong... that I was wrong... and that they yet lived. “I promise you that I will see what I can find out. The important thing is that you are safe now. You have been through quite a lot.” She paused and watched my expression. “You are what is referred to as a Wilder. Do you know what that means?” I shook my head no. “It means that you will begin to touch the One Power whether you wish to or not.”“The One Power? Like the women of the Tower?” She nodded, pleased. “So will your friends here. We are taking you to Tar Valon, to be trained as Aes Sedai.” I knew my mouth must have been hanging open, but I didn’t care. Tar Valon? Aes Sedai? I had heard of them, of course, but they were legends... enigmas. “Well, you had best get your rest now, dear.” Ignoring my protests and half started questioning, she touched my forehead, and the world spiraled into darkness again. The next week past easily, with me sleeping nearly the whole day, the little time I woke filled with repeated questionings by one of the three women: what my name was, where I lived, my memories and experiences of my brief touch with the Power. They made me consider that what I had done… that the impossible memories I had of the twines of light… held very real possibilities of damaging me beyond repair. They seemed amazed at my nonchalant responses, but each was equally silent as to my fate or the fate of my family. The final two days were better, and I was awake for hours at a stretch. They purchased three carriages, one for each Aes Sedai. I now spent my time resting on a sterile cot and was mostly alone except for Rena and some of the Warders who seemed to be guarding me. I spent my time talking with Rena about what was happening to me. My legs were still weak, and they told me to stay on the cot to let my body rest. I wore a strange but beautiful blue-dyed silk robe instead of my own soiled nightgown, of a make and cut I couldn’t identify despite having trained as a tailor for three years. I liked the feel of the silk on my skin, but it was rather lacking as far as modesty went. Rena explained about a lot of things, including what happened at the village. Darkfreinds had betrayed us and killed the guards at the gates, allowing the Trollocs in. I started crying all over again when she explained this. It seemed so unfair that Father had to die because some people didn’t believe our struggle could be won and gave into despair. I finally came to accept that he was dead… probably along with the rest of my family. In time, Rena also explained who she was. She was an Aes Sedai of the Green Ajah. The Ajah are like sections of Aes Sedai, each with a job to do. The Greens are the Battle Ajah, and she was the most helpful in saving my town. Trista was a Yellow, whose goal in life was to heal people and help people. Her skills had saved lives during the fight, though not the ones which really truly mattered to me. And the third was Grenthal, a Red. Reds hated men, and their only purpose in life was to hunt down male Wilders and kill them. I knew why, but she explained to me anyway that men who could touch the One Power went insane and eventually began to kill people, so they needed to be taken and have the Power stripped from them. Rena also explained that the men walking with her were her Warders. They were talented swordsmen who swore their life to protecting the Aes Sedai. Most Ajah were bound by tradition to only have one Warder, but Greens could have as many as they wanted, and Reds refused to have any.
We traveled far south by carriage while I continued to mostly sleep, until we hit a river where we bartered for passage on a Cairhienian military schooner to Tar Valon. The three Aes Sedai had taken individual cabins of the main officers, and had given us girls Captain’s quarters. I thought it was to forestall arguing over who should get it between the three of them, honestly. There was obviously a lot of ego between the three women, though most people probably wouldn’t have been able to perceive it. We had been under sail for nearly a day, and Amanda and I had simply stayed in our cabin and rested in the bed for the most part. Lisandre had spent the time from our embarking to mid afternoon sleeping on the floor in our room. Amanda and I were able to move around, but we didn’t want to push it, so we had spent much of the time talking. We lay a short distance from each other in the only bed in the room. For the first time, Amanda and I talked casually. We had known of each other of course, since we worked for competing seamstresses, but until now neither of us had truly considered the other a friend. We each told our tale about what happened that horrible, fateful night. I tactfully omitted the part when the Trollocs exploded into flame, instead saying that Father had killed them. Amanda seemed to hesitate towards the end of her story, where she was running away from several Trollocs. She said that they stopped chasing her, but I knew that she was lying. Trollocs never stopped chasing anything that was edible to them unless they die, especially not women. On a whim, I came clean and explained how the ones after me immolated, and Amanda reluctantly said that hers seemed to explode. She seemed lost in herself as she needlessly explained how they were torn limb from limb by an unseen force, and that there was little left of them to bury if she had even wanted too. Grenthal entered and called for Lisandre, who woke swiftly and then left. When I asked where she was going, I got a grunt in reply. After they were gone, Amanda speculated it was to Grenthal’s room for training in the Power. It made sense, but then… why weren’t we being trained yet?

I was thirsty, and yet there wasn’t much provided for us. A few slices of bread and a single haunch of chicken lay untouched on a wooden plate by the Captain’s desk. “Are you thirsty?” I asked her casually.

“Very.” Amanda stood on wobbly legs and started looking through the drawers of his desk.

I looked over at her quizzically. “Um… are you sure you should be rifling through his stuff?”

She shrugged. “There’s gotta be some skins of water in here or something.”

“Amanda, this is a bad idea. That Captain guy would probably rip your throat out if he knew you were…”

“Ahah! Jackpot!” she exclaimed as she pulled a thin necked bottle from the final drawer. “No cups… we’ll just have to share the bottle.” She plopped back into the bed.

I watched her with a mixture of amusement and repressed horror that she was so callous of her apparent theft. “Um… he’s going to be upset when he finds that you took his whatever-that-is.”

She struggled with the cork at the top, her face contorting in effort. “He won’t miss it… hopefully.” The cork finally gave way with a loud popping noise, and foam erupted from the top of the bottle, spilling over the sheets and leaving a big purple stain along the middle.

“Damn it.” She sucked in her breath, covering the bubbling top with her thumb. “Maybe… he won’t notice?”

The absurdity of her statement made me giggle, and a moment later she joined in. I looked at the bottle she held. I knew my letters, but the words on the bottle were unfamiliar to me. “Just a word that looks like a place name and numbers that are probably a date.”

Amanda smelled the spout and wrinkled her nose, then took an experimental sip. Her eyes bulged out. “Ugh. It tastes like the dye that we use to change the colors of shirts.”

“You drink that?” I smirked.

She stuck her tongue out. “You know as well as I do that you can’t help it when you hold the thread in your teeth.”

I took it from her, determined to be the brave one, and drank. It was pretty bad, true, but it not as bad as she made it out to be. It had an aftertaste like fruit, and I felt a warm glow in me. She took it back from me and drank again, resuming the story I had cut off a while back about the boy that had been chasing her back home. It was funny, though I realized quickly I was laughing harder than the story warranted. My laughter only compounded her giggling during her telling, and before long we were in hysterics over nothing at all. There was definatly something funny about the drink we were sharing, because I started feeling very warm inside. After her story, she reached for the bottle which I had set on the nightstand on my side of the bed and collapsed perpendicular to me on my stomach. She rolled over onto her back, still lying on me and now a mere span from my face. “You have really pretty eyes.” I said lazily.

She looked at me with a confused smile. “What?”

I looked away, embarrassed, and covered my blush by reaching for the bottle myself and taking a sip. What did I mean by that comment? I really didn’t know where it came from… I choked a little on the wine as it went down, spitting some out onto the sheets and some dribbling down my chin.

She growled playfully at me. “Stop spitting it out, you’re wasting it!” She pried it from my fingers and took a long drink off before finishing with a content sign. “All gone.”

I pouted. “What? That’s no fair. Why did you get the last bit?”

“Because…” she said with an increasing slur, “I don’t miss my mouth as much as you do.” She crawled up my body, her expression giddy and intense. I froze up as she moved her face very close to mine, and licked the wet line of dribbled wine from my mouth to chin.

My heart was pounding, and I looked down at her with a mock glare. “What… what was that?”

She giggled and rolled off my body the wrong way, slipping half off the bed. She tilted her neck to look up at me lazily, beaming. “I fell off.” she stated. “Help me back up?”

My vision swam for second. “Which one? There’s two of you?”

She laughed as I dragged her up onto the bed, and consequently onto myself. Her skin was somehow even warmer than the drink fueled burning sensations inside me, as she lay on me. “You’re soft.” she mumbled, her mouth muffled by the curls of my hair.

I squirmed to get myself comfortable, still giggling. “Same goes to you.” My hand traced absently over her abdomen. She slipped off me again, this time to her side of the bed rather than the floor. We lay for a while, watching each other with our hair entangled and our alcohol laden breath falling on each other’s cheek. “Are you hot?” I asked.

She nodded. “It’s like an oven in here.” She pulled her top off clumsily, getting it stuck over her face and still on one shoulder and struggling with it.

“I didn’t mean…” My protest trailed off as her predicament’s entertainment value slowly overruled my initial mortification. After all… I did feel like I was a wet clay statue being baked… she probably felt the same. Laying in only her skirt with her chest down to the covers, she smiled at me. I swallowed nervously, and returned her gaze.

“You have really pretty eyes too.”

“Thank… thank you.” I managed.

She squirmed over to me, and gently kissed my cheek before resting her head on my chest. I lay rigid for a while, terrified, not sure how to react. “Amanda… I don’t think we should… I mean…” I stuttered for a while. “Do you really think it’s okay for girls to…” She didn’t respond. I breathed deeply, feeling something inside me give way. A denial I had chained up deep in my heart. “Well… I guess.. we could…” More silence. “Amanda?” Soft snores were my only reply. I felt very foolish then, and yet very relived. “You’re kinda heavy…” I intoned in the darkness, knowing full well she couldn’t hear. I wrapped one arm around her bare back and the other clutched the empty bottle. I felt sleep come to claim me, and submitted.
I opened my eyes to the unyielding sun, but I shielded my eyes and looked up. Rena’s face was there, in all its perfection. She smiled at me. “You are going to be a great one when we get to Tar Valon. I can tell.” We bounced along the road… the landscape totally different than my lands in Arafel. I must have been close to Tar Valon. That was as far as I got with my thoughts before a crushing headache overtook me. “You need your rest though.” Rena continued. “Most girls, after their first use of the One Power, take as long as two weeks of near constant sleep to recover. Don’t worry, it gets better. Now that you’re awake more often, the learning can begin. Perhaps it already has.” What had happened last night? I couldn’t really remember, for it was mostly a blur. I remember Amanda’s bare skin in the moonlight… but… I couldn’t get much farther because of the pounding in my head. The vision of Rena’s face faded as I felt sleep overtaking me again. The last thing I saw was her hungry eyes looking at me. I felt… content.
Chapter 2 –
The last hour of the last day of our journey, we walked. The sight of the Tower, a gleaming white spire a thousand feet high, was visible from the gates of the city, miles and miles away. “That… that’s our destination?” Rena only smiled. I saw Lisandre again, but she was strangely withdrawn. Amanda avoided me, and I wondered if it had something to do with the night of which I was still trying to recall the details of. Worry chewed at my insides. The three of us from the village stayed apart, barely even talking to each other. As we went through the city of Tar Valon, Grenthal bid a quick good-bye to the group without warning. Lisandre gave us each a quick nod, then turned to leave. With a questioning look to the Aes Sedai, I asked what was happening. Rena explained that it was a personal request that Grenthal had made to the other Aes Sedai, that she be allowed to take Lisandre in separately. Trista bit her lip, seeming a bit displeased, and Rena only shrugged at her.Tar Valon approached over the tops of the trees. The White Tower stood above everything else, its glorious spires bridging out to the walls. Amanda and I marveled as we walked through Tar Valon. I had never seen such a city. The bustle of the city streets outstripped my hometown on the highest festival day. Vendors hawked their wares, children played with sticks, and people shoved and pushed. Yet in this sea of humanity, there was always a calm pocket around the two Aes Sedai left and Amanda and I between them. We approached the gatehouse, and the guards clad in plate mail came out and bent knee, reciting each of our names.“Rena Sedai, Trista Sedai, Warders and honored guests. Welcome to the White Tower. May the Light shine on you and your kin.” I found his blessings for my kin strangely appropriate, but I knew that it was only a formality, that he couldn’t know my family and what had happened. The gates were lifted, and I was taken into the central court of the White Tower. My breath nearly left my body as I looked around a place of such unearthly beauty. Yellow flowers ran in circling patterns around lush grasses, and trees with yellow buds dotted the court. Despite the fact that it was biting winter at home, and was still quite cold down south in Tar Valon, once I stepped through the gates it turned to balmy summer weather. We walked down a long path white marble path towards the entrance to the actual Tower itself. The massive walls of the Tower had no groves where the bricks were joined with mortar, instead it was as if the Gods themselves had carved this Tower of inconceivable size out of a single gargantuan slab of marble and set it down in this spot… and all of Nature rejoiced around it.“Yes, Novices. It is a beautiful place, isn’t it?” The voice was Trista’s. “None of the other Ajah’s entrance gardens are quite so beautiful. The Grey’s is a pitiful thing. Even the Red’s is better than the Grey’s.”Rena laughed. “’Tis beautiful, I must admit. The Green’s is almost as good as the one you Yellows tend to day in and day out. ‘Twould would be better, if we had as much time to dedicate, but we actually go out and hunt the Shadow, instead of staying inside and gardening.”Trista gave her a mock glare, which seemed a fitting response to Rena's lighthearted, playful taunt. I heard a call from down the path, to a spot where I saw another woman in a nearly identical dress as Trista’s, all puffy and yellow. I could see a huge grin on Trista’s face blossom. She yelled out “Sana! It’s been too long!”“Indeed it has, my pillow friend. I thought you would never return.” Sana’s voice began to lower as we approached, and it became easier to hear her.“I thought we would be out there forever as well, but look what we found.” Trista smiled broadly as she spoke, and I knew she was gesturing to us. "There was a third as well, but she goes in through the Red's Gate."“Grenthal claimed that one as her own? Ah well. Just as good that you are back, our friends are having a meeting.” She looked to her left, to where towering, thick bushes covered in yellow blossoms obstructed my view. “In fact, it looks like I’m missing it. Care to join us?”Trista pursed her rosebud lips in a girlish pout. “No, I have to report to the Amyrlin after I get these ones into their orientation.” The Aes Sedai guided the two of us along the path further.Sana shrugged. “Your loss, my pillow friend.” She then reached her arms up behind her back. It looked as though… it looked like she was unlacing her dress! I looked over at Amanda but she was just as puzzled as I. Rena had a look amusement as we continued down the path, and seemed to be watching for my reaction. We rounded the bushes, which had previously blocked my view. Behind Sana was the most indecent sight I had ever seen. Under the balmy leaves of a flowering blossom tree lay five women; their discarded yellow gala dresses and fallen yellow petals forming a disheveled kind of blanket. Their bodies writhed in lovemaking, and I felt a burning rush swell up in me. I tried to stop it... I wanted to feel repulsed. I heard Amanda’s sharp intake of breath. With a quick twist, Sana had shucked the dress down to her waist, and bent up from her attempts to remove it the rest of the way to receive a kiss from Trista on her lips.“I will be back, my dear.” Trista said in a business-like tone. I was in shock. I couldn’t do anything but stare at the undulating bodies of the orgy not thirty feet from me. One of the women stood up, and arched her back against the trunk of the tree as her fiery-haired companion nuzzled her most intimate place with eager lips. I allowed myself to be guided by Rena once more down the path, and the green brush which formed the walls of the path quickly blocked my view. What in the Light was going on? What was this depraved place I was entering? I had no trouble admitting that I was scared now. Rena had seemed so… sweet, if having no idea what was proper for a lady. Now I didn’t know what I was going to do. I was terrified into complacency.At the doors to the Tower itself, we endured the same naming process that we received at the gate, and again they seemed not to care for my name, or the name of the Warders. Only the Aes Sedai seemed to matter here, though I supposed that made sense. We went up what seemed like endless sets of stairs, which left my breath slightly ragged. I supposed that I was at least seventy or so levels up, which was a meager portion of the height of the Tower, to my best estimation. But seeing as how Master Ferrin’s four level inn was the pride of our town, and how I nearly got sick looking out the top windows, I was frightened enough to die. Not that I wasn’t already quite frightened. I was still cognizant enough, however, to notice the exquisite beauty of the tapestries on the wall, as well as the moulding on the edges of the ceiling.We entered into a cavernous room, where men of all ages were practicing with bundles of stout reeds which I assumed functioned as practice swords. Their real swords lay close by. Many of them spotted bruises or cuts, and Trista stopped to brush a few nearby with her hands, and they shivered when she touched them. The small wounds all but disappeared. I watched a few of the men with an appraising eye, feeling guilty as I did. Most of the men in the room were too bulky in muscle mass to be the kind I liked, but some were the perfect sort of lean that I thought looked best. Back home I had scoped out a few prospects for the future, boys who I talked about when my friends and I talked about who we would like to marry when the Women’s Council decided we were old enough to braid our hair. It was against what I had been taught, but that didn’t stop me from imagining. I continued down the room, feeling eyes follow me. I felt my facing begin to blush. Soon, we reached the doorway and I tried to turn back and look, but Rena pushed me none too gently through the door with a wry grin.After the training hall came another long hallway. Finally, we arrived at our room. Rena gently shook off my hand, and I realized that I must have been squeezing the hand that was guiding me quite hard. The fear of being up so high had returned without me even realizing it. The door too our room swung open like magic. I silently berated myself. ‘Of course it's magic, silly… I’m with Aes Sedai.’ The thought resounded in my head. Rena motioned for us to shuck our shoes, and we complied. The Rena gently guided me into the room. It was breathtaking; pink fabric wallpaper with gold gelding over organic patterns, and a warm carpet that formed around your feet and went between your toes, creating the most wonderful tickling feeling. There was a desk with a platter of light foods on it, and single bed. The bed was a quite large, big enough for three normal sized adults. It was beyond extravagant, with transparent pink silk hanging from the canopy top, and gilded gold lines streaming across the ivory white poles that held the canopy aloft. I watched in mute awe as Amanda sat down on the bed, and the surface of it seemed to flow with her. There was a quiet sloshing noise as she sat, and I realized the mattresses must have been hollow and filled with water. I had heard of such things for nobles, but certainly no one else. The Warders shut the door resolutely.Perplexed, I tried to figure out what we were meant to do. Aes Sedai had a way of evading questions that I did not particularly like. I moved the tray of fruit, breads and cheeses to the top of the bed, on top of the down comforter, and we nibbled at it a bit, but we mainly relaxed. My mind traced over the hazy memories from the previous night… a situation similar to this one. I watched Amanda’s face for a while as her mind went over a similar sea of memories. She eventually realized I was staring, so I averted my eyes and looked at the platter. I thought over what I had seen not long ago outside. My mind kept traveling back to it. The women… seemed to be enjoying themselves, if nothing else. But, enjoying yourself doesn’t make something right. I felt torn. My father always said I had been much too curious for my own good, and at the moment I was feeling very curious.I realized that during my thoughts a long, uncomfortable silence had reigned. We both seemed to want to talk about what we had seen in the garden outside, but neither of us could bring it up. I saw Amanda sniffing the air, and for the first time realized that this room smelled better than anything I had ever smelled before. I guess I had been so caught up in the visual aesthetics of the room that I hadn’t noticed the subtler things, like the olfactory elements. It smelled of sweet nutmeg. I felt warm all over, more than just feeling like the air around me was warm, more like a tingling feeling over my skin. I glanced over at Amanda. She was lying next to me still, but she seemed a little closer. Her crystal blue eyes were staring at something, and I followed her gaze down to my legs. The way I was positioned, my silken robe only covered to slightly above my knee and was bunched a bit at my waist. Amanda’s hand reached out tentatively, reaching for the place where my robe’s bottom trim met the skin of my thigh. Her fingers lightly touched me, and the touch was electric. Her fingers, two on the silk of my robe and two on my leg, slowly slid upwards. Her eyes trembled, like she didn’t know if she should stop or not, and though I ached for her caress, I was transfixed into inaction. The silk gently gliding across my leg sent sparks of pleasure up my spine. I couldn’t believe this was happening. Slowly, Amanda slipped her hand under the robe completely, rubbing up and down my leg. A soft moan escaped my lips. Her eyes snapped up to my face, as if she was just now realizing what she was doing. Her fist clenched up in the way I knew it did when she was angry, only this time I knew it was with herself.“I’m so sorry. I’m so… so sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, this place, it’s just… I’m so sorry.” She was blushing so furiously I thought she might die of embarrassment.“No no, it’s fine, really.” I said quickly. “I… it felt good, I kind of liked it.” She looked at me doubtfully. I went on quickly with a nervous laugh. “I mean…” A long pause. “Yeah, I kind of liked it.”Her face was almost back to normal, the blush quickly fading on her snow-white skin. She had always been good at controlling her emotions, I remembered, and now her face was unreadable. She pursed her lips slightly, as if in deep thought. I would have given a thousand golden crowns and everything I owned besides to know what was going through her mind at that moment.She started hesitantly speaking. “Well… I…” she stopped.I reached over and pushed a stray lock of her golden red hair behind her ear, letting my fingers trace down her neck. She stopped in mid-word, shivering in delight. As she met my gaze, our eyes locked. We both slowly leaned forward, our lips brushing gently together. The light contact of our lips quickly turned into a kiss of passion, and I slid my hand up behind Amanda’s head, gently rubbing the nape of her neck, pushing aside her curls. The taste of her mouth was sweet, like strawberries. After what seemed like an eternity, she broke off the kiss and pulled back suddenly. Her eyes shifted rapidly back and fourth, not even looking at me.“This cannot be happening! I don’t believe it.”“Believe it, Amanda,” I giggled. I felt free, more free than I ever had in my life. I reached over and started tugging on her blouse, untucking it from inside the skirt. Her look of horror quickly faded, replaced by one of desire. I rolled up so that I was over her, and she stared up at me with a look of mixed pain and desire. I could tell she wasn’t entirely comfortable with this, but then neither was I. “My father always told me to experiment and try new things.” I murmured with a sly grin. I let myself down on her, our breast crushing together through the material in a wonderful way that made my heart race. The arms that had been holding me above her came around her head and I ran my fingers through her hair gently. It smelled of bathing herbs even after many days going unwashed. I realized I must look a mess, but it was a distant realization as more primal instincts took over. I felt her hands roaming over my back, the silk feeling delicious as it slid across my skin. I pulled back a bit from the kiss, sliding my hands up Amanda’s shirt. Her skin felt so smooth. The shirt rode up my arms, peeling back to reveal her breasts. I left the shirt very nearly over Amanda’s face, and I heard her mumble something, distorted by the cloth. Her breasts were a bit smaller than mine, around the size of an orange. Her pink nipples stood out, and I descended upon them with my eager mouth. She let out a moan as I quickly began to flick the tip of my tongue across her nipple. With a quick look up, I realized that she had stopped her efforts to free herself of her shirt, and was simply lying back and enjoying the feeling. I redoubled my efforts, gently pinching her now wet nipple while giving the other attention. I set a rhythm, alternating between the two. After a long moment or two, she finally began to pull herself free of the blouse. She enjoyed her new unobstructed view of my attentions to her with a wicked gleam in her eyes. She ran her hands down my back, and began to pull at the fabric. I could feel it sliding up, leaving the upper parts of my legs bare, the tie around my waist coming loser with her manipulations. She finally shucked me off of her, and rolled over in the sloshing bed so that she was more on top of me. I smiled up into her eyes, slowly licking a single finger. She returned my smile with a look of predatory desire that made my heart race. Her expression morphed into one of careful concentration, the face of someone working to figure out something they do not know how to do. She parted the two halves of my robe, letting the shoulders pool on the bed and the front split open to my waist where it was still held by the tie. Drawing the trimmed edges apart, she exposed my chest fully. I was in a blind terror, yet the passion overwhelmed any rational thought. Closing her eyes, she began to lick small circles around my nipples. I arched backwards, delighting in the new sensations, pressing my breast into Amanda’s face. After a moment, she rose to her knees again, that look of determined concentration on her face again. I smiled up at her lazily. She turned away from me, reaching for my legs. She grabbed one, pulling it up into the air. I bent my knee, submitting to gravity. She planted kisses down one side of it. My smile began to fade as I worried about what I would do next. I could feel the fabric of my robe parting further, this time below the tie. She continued to bend my errant limb towards my chest as she stroked it. The silk was very nearly completely apart now. Amanda started back down my leg with her lips, and I realized her intent. I could feel myself getting lightheaded again as that feeling of red heat descended upon my brain again. I could barely think. This WAS really happening. Her hands pulled out the knot on the tie, and my silken robe slipped open entirely, exposing the full of my being to her. She rearranged herself on the bed below me, settling her head between my legs.I could feel her slowly placing kisses on the insides of both my legs. Her mouth worked its way down my thigh, and I could feel her breath on my needy lips each time she turned from leg to leg. She was deliberately inflaming me. Her tongue snaked out of her mouth, licking the insides of my legs, then the crease where my leg met the waist. I was quivering with anticipation, I could tell. I propped myself up on my elbows and looked down at her. Her crystal blue eyes looked up at me with a lavish grin. Pursing her lips carefully, she blew a small stream of hot breath up my aching loins, never breaking eye contact with me. I was too far gone for rational though or conversation, so I just looked at her and said “Please…”, my voice thick with lust. I don’t know if she was waiting for encouragement or permission, but my words stirred her to action. Still watching me, she stuck her tongue out long and pointed, and drew it up between my most intimate lips. The sensation washed over me, and without thinking, I brought my hands to my head, closing my eyes and collapsing back onto the pillow with a moan. I felt her fingers pull my lips apart gently, drawing her pointed tongue up again, sending electric jolts through me. She was lapping her tongue up and down, licking farther inside me each time. Her tongue caressed my swollen clitoris, and the electric jolts turned to a white hot fire. I arched my back, trying to force her face against me harder, beginning to buck against her. I cried out, grasping her tumbling curls and pushing her head down. Her tongue burrowed into my inner folds as I moaned harder, making unhurried circuits. I squirmed, but her arms held me firmly in place. I was not sure if I was in the arms of the Creator or the Dark One. The intense feelings of pleasure shook my being to its very core. A lifetime of internal defenses and barriers crumbled under her gentle assault like chaff before the winds. Deep inside the spark that had been smoldering inside me ignited into a raging fire that was all consuming. I could feel my juices flowing out of me, running and being lapped up as fast as Amanda could. Her tongue was everywhere at once, inside of me, along the lips, tracing delicate patterns, flicking against my pearl. Pleasure assailed my sanity in red waves that rose ever higher. Muscles that I was barely aware I had spasmed deep inside my body. I could not control the rhythmic clenching and relaxing, nor could I hope to contain the tension that was building. Amanda's tongue was working on a spot I hardly knew existed before this hour, a spot that seemed to be connected directly to my spine. Each flick of her tongue caused a spasm now, each caress sent a new wave crashing into my overloaded brain. My body was rigid and I felt certain I would die if I did not put a stop to it, but I was powerless to resist the onslaught. When I had reached the end of my rope, when it felt so good I felt certain I would die with another caress, something happened that I was altogether unprepared for. A shock ran through me, starting in my enflamed lips and spreading through my body. It brought with it euphoric pleasure and a delicious rippling sensation. In its wake I felt my body relax, but only for a split second before another wave tore through me. I gasped for air like a fish out of water as the waves, some weaker, some stronger ripped though my slight frame. The pleasure was unbearable and with the next powerful contraction I fell into a black abyss. My hands flying against my face, I arched my back so hard I thought it might break, crying out so loud that everyone in the whole Tower must have heard.I collapsed back down to the sloshing bed, gasping for air in pleasure as Amanda tenderly brought me back down with her tender ministrations. After a while more, she crawled up next to me, and we lay shivering on the down comforter in each other’s arms, wordless. My mind swam in a sea of mindless pleasure, and I rotated myself towards her, kissing her roughly, as she pulled me close to her. She tasted different, a kind of sweet, in a way much different than sugar or melon. A sort of tangy thrill. My breath caught in my throat. I was tasting myself I realized. As much as that should have horrified me, I found it quite arousing. Our naked breasts crushed together again. My senses were returning to me, I thought over what we had done. I had no regrets at all. More kisses, and our saliva and fluids mixing. We both crawled under the lush blankets in a spoon position.My fingers moved down Amanda's body, but she shook her head. "In the morning..." She made a great yawn, then closed her eyes. "Stay here with me, please?" she whispered. Her chest fell slowly. I felt sleep again trying to overtake me, yet I had so much to say to Amanda. Did I love her? Was that even possible? I absently fondled her breast, but I could tell she was already asleep. I sighed as sleep took me.
Chapter 3 -

The next morning, I awoke with Amanda wrapped in my arms. Though I had no view of the sun to determine the time of day, I judged it was about midday when the door opened. The door opened, and Amanda started awake, shrieked and leapt away from me, dragging most of the sheets with her as she fell from the bed entirely to the opposite side of the room as the door. I stayed impassive, not really having the energy to hide my nakedness. Trista Sedai entered the room, her face a mask of blandness. Amanda stood, her face blushing nearly as much as it had when we first began to explore each other's bodies. She wore a hastily donned shirt and nothing else, though she tried to conceal her lower body’s nakedness with the bed by leaning down and resting on her elbows. She made a painfully cheerful smile. "Hello, Trista Sedai. To what do we owe the honor?"The small amount of the sheets left on the bed still covered me from the knees down, but I lay tranquilly upon the bed, my mind still thick with sleep. Though there could be no missing it, Trista made no signs of seeing my nor Amanda's nakedness. "We are to begin your training." Trista said matter-of-factly. Before I could open my mouth, she turned to me as well. "Rena Sedai will be along for you shortly, Jessara." I sat back in the bed. Amanda seized the moment to conspicuously put britches on, lace them, then walk out. Trista Sedai gave me a polite yet impersonal nod, then left as well, closing the door.I rolled out of bed, my lack of clothes not a factor to be dealt with yet, and started eating fruits and cheeses. I was physically tired, yet mentally I was awake and thinking over my situation carefully. Many days without even a rinse of my hair, plus all of my exertions (even thinking of it still made me blush) must have left me looking like a wreck. The door began to open again. "No wait! Don't come in, I'm..." The door stopped, only open a little way. I threw on my robe, straitening it carefully, looped the tie into a loose knot to keep it from falling open, then ran my fingers through my mussed hair to no avail. "Alright..." I sighed.The door opened slowly, and a young man stepped through the threshold. He wore a shirt and pants of green so deep they were nearly black, with armor of studded leather over his chest, and he smiled kindly. Though my knees were already weak, I felt them slacken more and I sank down into my chair. I felt very self conscious in front of him, wanting to make a good first impression, but only able to nod in greeting as I folded my legs. He carried a white dress in his hands, made of fine linen, and he set it on the table in front of me with a low bow. "Rena Sedai sent me to bring you to her. Your lessons are to begin now."I drew in a breath. He was acting strangely subservient to me. "Are you a Warder here?"He shook his head. "No, though one day, I hope to become one. I am a student here, like yourself... taking classes and training." He paused. "What is your name, if I may be so bold?""Jessara, of Fredonia Meadows in Arafel. Yourself?""Garret, of Little Wreath in Shienar." There was a pause in the conversation. "We… have a while before Rena requires our presence."There was along pause in the conversation. I wanted to break the ice between us, but my mind had frozen up. "Please, take a seat."He sat, apparently the same intent on his mind. "Well… you’re new here, right?” he asked by way of breaking the long silence. “Do you... have you given thought your choice in Ajah?" I raised my eyebrows, taking a deep breath and gathering my wits. "Well, a little. But being raised to Aes Sedai seems along way off." He nodded, motioning for me to continue. "Well... no matter what I won't be a Red." He grins. "Well, that bodes well for me."I rolled my eyes. "The Reds seem to live in their own world. To imagine living life without love..." I cleared my throat. "Well... I guess maybe Green, but that’s just because I know Rena so well. Yellows seem kind... I don't know too much about the rest.""Well... the Blues are often away on missions, trying to make the world a better place, I guess. The Grays are always away too, arranging treaties and playing politics. Browns study ancient tomes and artifacts, and the Whites debate logic and assume leadership roles." He shruged. "Its a crude but quick summery.""Green still sounds good."He looked carefully at me with a small smile. "You would bond a Warder?"I was proud my composure stayed in place, affecting the composed grace of an Aes Sedai passably. " I might consider it." I returned his knowing smile. Though my heart still fluttered while I looked at his face, I had myself under control now, and wasn't going to embarrass myself by stuttering or staring at him wordless like I was afraid of.He coughed. "Well, perhaps you would like to bathe?"I struggled to contain my embarrassment. He said it in an inoffensive and kind manner, but I still felt a small part of me die when he mentioned it. I brushed it off, struggling to maintain my expression. "Well, eleven some odd days on the road with no breaks for hygiene will do that to you." We shared a laugh, and he picked up the dress."Alright, I'll show you to the bathhouses on this level."”Bathhouses?" I had always bathed in the river a few miles from my town. He explained how the Tower contained rooms stacked vertically on every level. On the very top of the Tower was a pair of massive tanks that contained water, filled continually by servants. Through the One Power, the water of one tank was always hot. Gravity pulled the water down through a system of pipes to each room below the next. We walked down a long corridor, past dozens of empty rooms before coming upon the room. He followed me in, now also holding a towel that he must have picked up off a cart. The room was uncomfortably warm, steam fed from copper piping in the room hanging in the air. I felt nervous, a jittery feeling that I tried to suppress, or at least prevent from being visible. He showed me how the valve worked, and how it would fill the tub with blessedly warm water in just a minute’s time. The duration was passed in silence, and for my part I spent it contemplating my new friend Garret. Back home, I prided myself on not being the type of girl who saw a man's pretty face and fell in love. It was childish, and also pointless. I struggled internally, trying not to emulate the behavior that I had so disliked in my formulative years. But whether an artifact of my recent experiences (I blushed, but concealed it well), or something about Garret himself, there was no denying my feelings. I desired him, and what was more, there was no Women’s Council or parents for five hundred miles to prevent me from acting on those instincts. I felt dizzy, though from the steam or perhaps my newfound freedom, I didn't know. The bath stopped filling, and I closed the valve. Garret, for his part, had been pacing, absorbed in his own thoughts. I cleared my throat, giving him an eye flutter and a grin, then twirled my finger, indicating he should turn around. His eyes suggested he just came out of deep thought, but he shook himself to awareness and grinned, then complied dutifully with a bow and a graceful turn. Stripping out of my robe, I got into the bath tenderly, slowly settling down to my neck, keeping my body close to the closest wall of the tub to him and folding my arms on it, resting my head upon them. The water was a little too hot for my tastes, but it would cool. "You may turn back around now." He had used the time when his back was turned to get a bar of soap and some liquid in a bowl. He set them down on the side of the marble, then knelt to bring his head to my level a span away. He controlled his emotions well, keeping them from his face, but I was good enough at reading people so that I could tell he was having an internal debate. I dipped my head under entirely, massaging my hair under the water, then came up for air and flipped my hair back out of my eyes. His eyes still told of a bitter internal monolog, one of conservatism versus desire, and being no stranger to the same, I decided to help him along towards a resolution. I turned my back to him. "Would you soap me up?"Wordlessly, he lathered his hands up with the bar of soap in the water, then began to massage my sore back and shoulders. I could feel the sweat and grime melt away, and the tension too under his soothing, strong touch. I moaned slightly, my eyes closed as I reveled this treatment, and I felt his hands quaver a tad. Could it be... nervousness? I'm not sure why, but that sealed the decision for me. Garret was full of confidence, and that's good, but his cute embarrassment over what he felt for me was too much. I would make him mine.His hands traveled down my back, and I rose out of the water to a raised kneeling position to give him access to more of my skin, with both his hands and eyes. I got up on one knee, giving his kneading hands more of my body to work with. He reached my waist and started to pull away, but I reached around and snagged his retreating hand. I pulled it back to my skin, massaging my stomach with his soaped up palm. His other hand came back around and joined its partner in moving up me. Still securely grabbing his wrist, I worked his hands up my chest, finally clasping them around my breasts. His hands continued their work, though the supposed purpose of cleansing, tenuous at best before, was now gone. My nipples were pointed, a clear sign of my arousal, and the distinction was not missed by Garret, who began to lose his inhibitions. He moved his head to my neck, leaving small kisses down my recently cleaned skin. His fingers continued to do something wonderful to my breasts, and I twitched in pleasure. I spun, confronting his confused visage with an expression of demanding lust. "Want to come in?" I said breathily.He looked torn. "The Code expressly prohibits Warders-In-Training from having sex with..."I flicked his ear. "Who said anything about sex, Garret?"He looked mortified, then remembering how I had initiated this all, lapsed into merely confused. "But I thought..."I sighed theatrically, unstrapping his armor. "You men, its all about sex... sex... sex." His armor and sword fell to the tile, and I dragged his half willing self into the water, sloshing a goodly portion of it onto the floor. He sputtered as he came up, and I kissed him full out. His resistance stopped as our mouths met, his tongue seeking mine. Our bodies pressed together, and I broke off this kiss, leaving our lips the barest of spaces apart. "There is plenty you can do without sex, you know." With that, I tugged on his shirt, and the last of his resistance melted away.His shirt was waterlogged, and plastered to his body, but he managed to pull it off and throw it to the tile. His boots came off next, one unlaced by each of us. He turned back from dropping the boot out of the tub to find me pressing against him again, another strong kiss. He kissed very differently than Amanda... a sort of harsh and demanding, strong kiss. In my current mind set, it fit well, though I'd have to work with him if this were to continue beyond today. He was up against the wall of the tub, running his hands through my hair, and I hooked my thumbs in the waistband of his pants, pulling them down. Or at least trying to. He fumbled with his belt, looking up from the task to beam a smile at me, then the pants were off and out of the tub. I kneeled on his seated form, keeping myself far enough back to avoid his member. My kisses were planted down his well toned chest, and he whispered my name. My hand clasped around his shaft, stroking him gently. His closed eyes and slightly open mouth told me I was doing something right, but herein I realized a slight flaw in my plan. I had only the vaguest idea of how to do this, of even how a man's body worked. I wanted to show him how I felt, make him feel great... but my exposure to male anatomy was limited to hushed and giggle filled conversations while sewing with my girlfriends in the back room of Helena’s Fabrics Emporium. I was determined though. Straddling his legs, I redoubled my efforts, gently using two hands. He cracked an eye open, sucking in air at an especially pleasurable movement. "Wait." he intoned.I didn't even pause in my rhythm, but my expression creased with worry. "What's wrong? Am I doing it wrong?""No no no. What you're doing is... oh so right. I just mean... I feel bad. I should be doing something for you, not the other way around."I chuckled, circling his head with my thumb, rewarded with another gasp. "Not today, Garret. Next time, definitely, but today you're mine." I felt my chest tense up, worried for rejection, but his expansive smile put my fears to rest.My hand motions became more frantic, and I wasn't sure how to proceed. A slight memory tickled my mind... Mariana explaining what she thought guys liked the best... I hesitated. It was strange, no doubt about it, but I wasn't sure how to up the ante with my hands more than I already had. I stood, guiding him up as well, then pushed him down to sit on the edge of the marble. I knelt in front of him, extending my tongue forward and licking a small circle around his head. My efforts brought out a moan from him, so I continued, taking the whole head into my mouth and bobbing up and down. I ensured my lips brushed the ridge of his head each time. I reached up with a hand, encircling him, stroking up and down as my tongue continued its work from within my mouth. His hands were tangled within my hair, one moment clenched to fists, the next trying to restrain from pushing my head down farther onto him. A crescendo of moans were building from him, and I knew he was reaching the end of his rope. He pulled my head back, and with a final gasp, spent himself upon my breasts. My hand never stopped its work, until at last he slumped down into the water with me. I politely washed myself, then curled up in his lap with a content sigh."That was... amazing." he whispered. He started to get up, his feeling of duty kicking back in. "I've got to return the favor."I pushed him back down, and quieted him with a shush. "Another time. We need to get going anyway, soon, and I want to spend what time left like this."He seemed confused, but relented. "Alright."I giggled. "I'm definitely thinking Green."
Chapter 4 -

Now clothed in my new Apprentice dress, I walked through the halls of the Tower. Garret walked beside me, wearing workermen's clothes I found in the laundry room down the hall to replace his soaking training uniform. Rena Sedai was in her office, thirty four floors up, he explained, preparing for her new student. The walk was long, and the stairs tiring, but we arrived at our destination. I felt positively dizzied at the size of the Tower, but Garret assured me that eventually you learned the parts of it you had to. Only a few Browns knew it all.We entered into a massive study chamber, with tomes and smaller books adorning the walls and shelves. Rena wore a tight shirt that covered barely her breasts, and a skirt which didn't come past halfway down her thigh. I had wondered: if what she was wearing when we first met was her usual clothes, what were casual? I apparently just found out. She reclined in a massive, green plush throne, with books and small trinkets scattered around."Welcome." she stated simply. "You're dismissed, Garret."I wanted to kiss him goodbye, but I remember what he had said, and figured that romance was probably prohibited too. He looked at me meaningfully, though the expression was covered from Rena's sight, then left. My heart ached, and I didn't know if or when I would see him again. I panicked as the door closed, realizing that I didn't know where his room was, where he trained, anything... and this Tower was much too massive to find anyone by chance again."Problem?" Rena questioned. My expression must have been obvious. I struggled for an explanation, but she shook her head at my stuttering. "Don't worry, I can tell you where he stays."I shook my head violently, not wanting to get him in trouble. "No... its not like that. I just..." I blew out air in frustration.She tilted her head knowingly, nearly smiling. "You two took nearly an hour getting here. Was there something that kept you?"My face burned, partially from embarrassment of Rena's questioning look, partially from knowing that I had gotten Garret in trouble. "I’m sorry…”She shrugged. "Nothing to be sorry about. He's a fine young man. You could do worse."I gaped. "What?"She sighed. "Do you not agree?" I coughed, and didn't respond. "Look, Jessara, why do you think I chose you as my student?"I was so confused right then that I couldn't even answer. "I... I don't know.""Because I know you're not the kind of girl that would repress her sexuality. Amanda was a close second, admittedly, but she has an underlying docility to her... it wouldn't do well as a Green. Plus she would have a serious problem with having more than one man, I think."I gulped at air. "... what are you talking about?"Rena smiled gently. "The three of us each chose one of you as our students. I have chosen you.""I know that... I mean... what about Garret?"Another sigh. "I'm sure he told you those rules?" I nodded. "They are for your protection. You didn't have intercourse with him did you?"I shook my head. "No, he said we couldn't. What we did do... well... he didn't do anything wrong... it was me." I said in a defeated air.She scoffed. "As long as there was no intercourse, it is fine. Rules were meant to be broken, dear. And from the glow about you when you entered, I'd say that he did do something." she grinned.I burned with embarrassment, my face so flush I could barely imagine there was blood elsewhere in my body. I didn't regret it, no... but to have her know about it, and speak of it so plainly...Rena nodded slowly. "Alright, let's start at the beginning. You three girls can wield the One Power. You know this. You've been brought here to become Novice. Each Aes Sedai may take an Apprentice, and only one, to raise her through the trials of the Tower." I nodded relived to have the pressure of attention taken off my actions. "Generally we take people who fit our beliefs as well. Its usually the case that a Novice will take the Ajah of her teacher, but its by no means required.""But... how did I get the Power?" I sought to distract her from the subject of intimacy, true, but I was also wondering."Like I explained before, you're a Wilder. You'll channel the One Power whether you train with us or not. But if you don't train with us, you're liable to kill yourself or people around you." She shook her head at my expression of worry. "With me to guide you, you'll be fine.""And... Garret? You won't punish him?""No, of course not. If you were being raised by a Blue, they might scold you. A White would chastise you and punish you according to the rules. A Red might very well have you lashed in the Traitors Circle. But a Green?" She grinned. "She would ask how it was.""Umm..." I mumbled.Rena talked on over me, apparently deciding the question was rhetorical. "But still... sex is not to be taken lightly. To have been fully with a man will make your trials in the Three Archways much more difficult. We've found it best to keep Novices chaste until then.""... why?" I asked, curious."When you pass through the Archways, they will conjure up the worst things you can imagine and confront you with them. It's a test that you must pass on your way to becoming an Aes Sedai. If your body doesn't know a man... well... it's just easier.""Why?"She appeared to choose her words carefully. "In the Arches, you can't be subjected to something that you've never experienced before during the test. Having your virginity intact as you go through the Arches means that it will still be intact when you leave them. It's not much, but it makes the test a little easier. The nightmares Archways conjure know no decency or bounds. It is a difficult test indeed, but to pass it is to promote yourself to Accepted. That is halfway to Aes Sedai.I nodded quietly. "You spoke of training. You mean in the One Power?"She pushed herself farther into her plush chair. "That's the fun part. You also learn of history, customs of foreign lands, law, architecture, mathematics, martial arts, domestic talents..." I gulped. "I'll be your teacher for your training in the Power. You'll also get put into my classes." She pushed her hair behind her ears. "I teach all levels of martial arts, as well as Customs of Arad Doman. The remaining classes you'll have with other Aes Sedai."I nodded slowly. "Alright." This was all very sudden, but I was happy with how I was holding up."Alright." Rena agreed. "I'm going to take ahold of the Power now, so don't be afraid.” A glow of light enveloped Rena."Light burn me... does it always look like that?""Like what?""You're glowing."Rena raised an eyebrow. "Only women who can use the Power can see the glow, and only when they're well trained. You've used the Power before once, correct?"I winced. "Trollocs... they... I killed them with flames." I hurriedly shook my head. "Not that I could do it again."Rena nods. "A heightened state of emotional distress will make you more powerful.""Oh." I replied simply. That seemed a cruel way to say my family had been slaughtered, but I didn't feel like quibbling words."I'm going to perform a minor weave. It will resonate between us, as we're two women with the Power. The more it resonates, the more potential you have." A nod from me, and she began. She steepled her fingers and pointed them towards me. Towards her fingers drew... something. Like translucent, intangible threads I had always known were there but had never let myself see. They knotted themselves together in a patchwork, then rolled into a ball. The sphere, only visible to females with the Power I guessed, began to shake and dart between us. Rena nodded in approval as the sphere trembled violently. "Good... good. You have potential..." she trailed off as the trembling of the sphere only grew. Finally, the ball unraveled and the individual threads quickly dissolved. Rena blinked. "Someday you'll be more powerful than I." She looked up sharply, winking girlishly. "But not for a long time. And it will take hard work to get there."I nodded, confused. Was she to be my teacher, my matron or my friend? She couldn’t seem to decide herself. "I understand."She raised an eyebrow at me. "Do you?"I sighed. I was tired of her being so elusive, and how she seemed to be making no sense on purpose. "I don't know, what do you think?” I asked, my tone lacking the respect I should have probably put in it.She traced her fingers down my cheek, then gripped my chin. Her eyes were cool and appraising. "No, you don't. I’m not the most powerful Aes Sedai by any means, but I’m quite high up in the ranks. That your potential unravels my testing sphere means that you could very well rival the Amyrlin Seat one day. You have more potential than most Aes Sedai alive.""Is that not... good?" I felt like an idiot for asking such a question, but on the other hand, it was more complex than it seemed. To me, it sounded like a good thing, yet her tone seemed to hint at something else."Well, it depends on what you want in life. Your teachers will push you harder, higher... Every Ajah will want you to join their ranks for the influence that you'll bring. Anyone can see you won't become a Red, and they don't take kindly to anything that makes the Greens more powerful. You may very well be in for a rough time here."I drew in a deep breath. "Well we had better get started now, then."She grinned. "Good answer. Let us begin."
Chapter 5 -

As I tapped my quill against my paper, I realized that to say that more changed in my first day in the White Tower than had changed throughout the rest of my life would not be an exaggeration. My first class was called A Tapestry of the Past, taught by a Brown Sister named Seline. She proceeded to consume two hours of my life, and according to the slip of paper Rena had given me before gently guiding me out the door and down sixteen levels, the mind numbing tedium of the class wouldn’t end for another hour. The Brown Sister had been describing what a Trolloc looks and acts like for the last half hour, to ‘ooh’ and ‘ahs’ of my fellow classmates. Having seen them in person, I felt rather bored.My mind traced over what had transpired, burying my head in arms folded on the table to hide my blushing cheeks. I was still upset over not being able to settle things with Amanda. I felt pangs of guilt, knowing what my parents would say if they were still alive and knew about what I had done. It was strange, because I never used to be truly worried about disobeying my parents if I felt I was doing the right thing. My father was a gruff man during the best of times, and a drunkard at the worst. My mother was overprotective of her children, and though most of the people of Arafel had learned long ago that the women of their country must learn to fight if the Blight is to be held back, she still believed that women should stay in the home. But their deaths brought new credence to their views, and my embarrassment and guilt grew as I dwelled upon the thoughts of what had happened. My mother’s disapproving voice played in my head. Tears crept to my eyes, even as I told myself over and over I was being silly. Had I betrayed my family’s wishes, if not my family themselves, only days after they had died?The droning voice of the Brown Sister saying my name fairly close to me brought me out of my self pity. I brought my head up, and through tear distorted eyes I saw the questioning gazes of the girls in the class looking at me. Distraught beyond words, mumbled an excuse and fled the room. My feet quickly brought me to the bench outside the room where I sat. I sniffed and tried to compose myself. Abject fury, regret and embarrassment commingled in my mind, and it was all I could do but sit there and not scream. Sister Seline ushered staring girls from the doorframe back into the room, then gave me a glance of mixed annoyance and pity and shut the door. I choked on my tears, breaking down entirely. Images of my parents’ shock and horror as they watched me from the Afterlife danced in my head. My body was wracked with sobs, and I made out a slim figure leaning against the stone wall not far from the bench where I sat. I cleared my throat, coughed and then wiped my arm across my bloodshot eyes to clear the vision. The figure was Rena, gazing at me with a face that betrayed no thoughts.“What are you doing here.” I said gruffly.“Checking up on you.” she replied summarily. “I thought you might have trouble adjusting, after the intense amount of stress you’ve been through recently.”“Yeah? Well you try having your entire family murdered in front of your eyes and see how you feel!” I shot back at her, not caring that I was lashing out at her for no fault of her own.She rolled her eyes. “I’ll forgive the irony of that comment for the fact that you don’t know my past.” She walked over and sat next to me, putting her arm around my shoulders.“You… your family…”She stopped me by putting two fingers over my lips. “It doesn’t matter. Are you going to be alright?” I nodded glumly. “Good girl. You’ve adjusted amazingly well… your entire world has been turned inside out multiple times recently. You’ll be fine."I wasn’t sure if she was simply speaking in empty reassurances one gives a child, but I nodded and felt better anyway. “When will I see you again?”She reached into my pocket, her fingers tracing my upper thigh through the thin fabric, and withdrew the schedule she had scribed upon it. “Tonight you’re scheduled for training with me. I’m looking forward to it.”***My classes proceeded well after my first outburst. I got glances from my fellow students as I reentered the room, but after that contributed to the discussion and got several favorable looks and comments from Seline. After that, a course in mathematics covered some basic things I had already learned from my father, then finally an hour with a strikingly beautiful Sister with black tresses which trailed to her knees. She taught Customs of Illian and I was fascinated with her tales of the Hunt for the Horn and other parts of Illian culture. I found Rena waiting for me at the exit of the room. She wordlessly lead me up to her study, and after another six flights of stairs I was about ready to swear off ever changing levels in the Tower again. “Light, can you teach me to fly with the Power? Surely it would be a useful skill in this place.”Her lighthearted laughter never failed to make my heart skip a beat. “T’would. But I’m afraid that no matter how good you get in the Power, you’ll never learn to hold yourself aloft. You can lift others, but yourself… it’s like trying to carry yourself with your hands… it doesn’t work.”I scratched my head at her analogy. It didn’t make much sense, but I accepted the explanation. “Well… doesn’t mean I can’t wish.”We walked into a new chamber. The other room had been her office, and I gathered that this was her bedroom. It was massive, featuring an obsidian black marble multi-tiered fountain in the center of the room. The tallest level of the fountain was nearly fifteen spans in the air, shooting water even higher, trailing down through the scores of levels until it reached the lowest basin, which was a shallow indent in the floor. Each level had miniature statues of legendary heroes, Jane Farstrider and his double daggers, Brigitte and her silver bow, others that I couldn’t identify. Her bed was similar to mine, though the coloring was the same near-black green of a Warder’s pants and shirt. Her room also had an ornate desk and a quarter of the room was empty other than two chairs and a small table with a tea set in the center. She took her place at one chair, pouring out two cups of tea into the teacups on the table then taking a sip and sighing contently. I continued to alternate between staring at the room and looking at her. She made a slightly annoyed noise and made a gesture for me to sit in my chair. I did promptly, feeling uncomfortable, then raised my cup of tea. I took a sip and gagged. The tea was thick, more viscous than tea should be, and sickly sweet. She gave me an amused glance. “No? Well, it’s an acquired taste, Domani tea. Something else?”“I’m fine, thank you.” I replied, setting my saucer down. The Domani were all about excesses, and apparently that went over into their beverages as well. She sipped her tea again, her eyes studying me, slowly going up and down my body. The silence grew longer, and I returned her gaze evenly and unchallenging. Finally the silence grew to an unbearable length. “Well?”“Well what?” she replied evenly in that unbearably superior tone.I tried to keep myself from growling. “Well… what are we going to do?”She regarded me evenly. “Channel.” A harsh, one word command.“What? I… I can’t.” I said, suddenly nervous again.“No?”“No! I don’t know how… I’ve only done it once?”She was lit aglow with the Power, her voice dangerous. “Seize it!”My brain was a tumble with fear and confusion. “I can’t!” I shouted back.Her face twisted into a terrible visage of anger. “Then you’ll pay for your uselessness!” Flames gathered at her hands, and I could see the red threads of heat knotting. I shrieked and reacted. Thick threads of spirit snapped the threads of fire violently, and she fell back into her chair as though physically struck. Her expression changed to one of happiness. “Good.”I was frozen in a pose with my hands half raised, shielding my face from the incoming attack. I stared at her. “… what?”She looked apologetic. “I was testing a theory. You have a Block, like all Wilders. A certain emotional state you need to be in for you to channel. Yours is terror.”I slowly lowered my hands, feeling anger build in me. “You were testing me? You could have told me…”“No… no I couldn’t have. Then you wouldn’t have actually been frightened.” She purses her lips. “I don’t suppose you could repeat that?”
I thought it over. “No… I don’t even know what I did.”“It’s called Cutting… using your own spirit weaves to break weaves of another Channeler. It’s a very advanced technique. Amazing…” A beat. “Please try to repeat it?”I blinked. “Well… alright.” I closed my eyes, trying to recall every detail. The fear… the defensiveness… I finally sighed. “No good.”She glowed with the power again, and I shied back in defense. “No, don’t worry. I’ll never repeat that. You should get used to me embracing the Power near you… it will happen quite a lot during these lessons.” The table with the tea set slid along the carpet to my right almost five feet, getting out of the way between us. I could faintly see threads of something around the legs, but I had trouble making it out. I felt my chair lift into the air a bit, then move towards her a bit, leaving only a half span between us. She was close enough to touch, and radiant with the Power. “Jessara?”“Yes?” I replied, feeling a bit of heat spread throughout my body.“Do you feel that, right there?”My body ached for her touch. I shook my head, swallowing with difficulty.“You can feel yourself attracted to me, can’t you.” I swallowed again. She was right, I knew. The heat was growing… and I felt as though I needed to close the gap and kiss her until my lips were numb. “It’s normal… the more of the One Power I hold in me the more acute the attraction will be.”“It’s… not real?” I asked carefully. I began to feel tiny pricks on my arms as gooseflesh rose. I couldn’t help but shiver.“It only awakens the slumbering sensuality within, just as aphrodisiac might provoke a lover. Man or woman… a person who has no desires of intimacy with a female will feel nothing.” She released most of the Power, leaving me with only the slightest perception of light haloing her, but the desire welling up in me barely subsided. “Aes Sedai learn to control how much they suffuse.”“And before I’m Aes Sedai?”She raised an eyebrow. “The more you train, the more potent your aura will become, until you yourself learn to control it. The apex point between strength of power and lack of control usually comes late in your time as Accepted. For this reason, the Accepted are usually very sexually active, no matter what Ajah they enter.”I shifted uncomfortably. “You speak of such things so easily…”“And the fact that you’re uncomfortable with it shows how far you have to go before you understand yourself.” She looked at me carefully. “You’re resisting. You… don’t approve of intimacy, do you.” I sighed bitterly. “It feels good, sure. But it’s against everything I was taught… and so close on the heels of my parents…” My eyes fell downcast. “You… you have five males…”“Yes, and I love all five of them.”“But… that’s wrong.”“You, who have never been in love with anyone, deem yourself fit to pass judgment upon my relationships?” I flushed with anger, but she shook her head with a small grin, taking the sting out of the insult. “Love is supposed to be between a single man and a single woman.” I said with surety, then paused. “Isn’t it?”“Love… love is a word which is a difficult one to use in a discussion. On the surface, it’s simple. Everyone knows what love is. Yet depending on the context, it can mean very different things.” I looked at her intently, listening. She sighed and continued. “A person can love their family, love their friends, and love their mate… each in a very different way. To add layers of complexity, people say they love their mate, yet each person does so in a different way.”I shook my head. “That makes sense in a way, but…”“You’ve been raised to try and fit the ideals of love into a certain framework. But love doesn’t get shoved into anything… it simply is. Love, to me, is very strong bond of friendship. The knowledge that I would give anything and everything I had for each of them, and that they would do the same for me. They don’t have to ‘share’ me… each relationship with each Warder simply is.”I stared at her in mute thought. “I… I think I understand. That makes sense. But… I don’t…” I trailed off.After giving me time to start again, and realizing I wasn’t going to, she continued. “Don’t worry about trying to change everything in your life in one day. Some things exist because they must. Society will force most people to conform their ideals of love into a mold which generates a stable family unit, fit for raising children. That’s fine, but some people don’t want to do it that way.” A beat. “Don’t force it. Things which develop naturally are the best.”“Is there a rule against…” I had trouble articulating it. “us…” My voice failed.Rena understood regardless. “The only rules we have are the ones you and I put in place.” There was a long silence, and I daresay that Rena was as uncomfortable as I. “Jessara… you will need to eventually learn to become comfortable with yourself. That doesn’t mean you need to be shameless, or to act on every instinct you ever feel. You’ll need to decide for yourself where you draw your own lines. But perhaps the most important lesson I can ever teach you is how to recognize the lines that you’ve drawn for yourself and the lines that have been drawn for you.”
I sat for a moment, still feeling the after effects of holding the One Power. I could feel my senses still amplified slightly… the texture of the chair against my skin, the thudding of my heart in my chest. I yearned for her, and she was so close. But insecurities and internal barriers had sprung up again, and I couldn’t bring myself to do anything. I could feel the heat on my cheeks, the now almost familiar lightheadedness. “So… how do I train in the Power if I can’t figure out how to do it?”“You have to break your Block.”I looked at her, puzzled, a red swelling in my vision and my mind, distracting me. “I… how do I do that?”“Once you have channeled the Power of your own will instead of because you are frightened, the Block will be broken.”“But… that is paradoxical. I can’t channel the Power of my own will until my Block is broken.”“A quandary indeed.” She murmured in return. “The solution involves you tricking your own mind… each Wilder is a unique case in how. But… I have an idea for you.” Light filled the air around her. I shivered, feeling the repressed desire pool inside me, building.I considered her carefully. “I’m… I think I understand.” I realized my own body’s movement, unconscious actions taken of my own accord: I was sitting at nearly the edge of my seat, leaning forward. Less than a span separated our faces, and I looked at her carefully. Her skin was a rich pink, and her hair a glimmering auburn, the locks spilling down over her back in waves. I could scarcely breathe, such was the hold her beauty had over me. She moved forward herself, until I could feel her warm breath upon my lips. Her warm, crystal eyes bespoke volumes, and I knew I could drown in them if I let myself. Her hand raised slowly, letting her knuckles and fingers trace down my burning hot cheeks slowly and gently. The backs of her fingers felt cool in comparison to my heated flesh, and with my eyes partially closed, I turned my face into the glancing contact. Her hand turned over and moved across my face, my moist lips lightly pecked her palm as she dropped it slowly back into her lap. What time passed, I don’t know, only that it seemed to me to be forever with our gazes locked. Her voice, the barest breath of a whisper. “Are you scared?”I could do naught but answer from my heart. “Yes.”Her lips closed the final gulf between us, locking with mine. The sheer exhilaration of the kiss was incredible. A tremble passed through my body, traveling from my legs up my body then down my arms, raising gooseflesh where it ran. My hands gripped piles of her silken locks, keeping her close. Her hands, for their own part, gathered the hem of my Novice dress, fingers tracing my smooth skin, pulling it up until it pooled on my upper thighs. Her hands grasped me, abolishing the final distance between us, letting our legs interlock. Her knee slid between my thighs, parting the gathered upper and lower sheets of my dress with ease and her knee brushing lightly at my bare loins. I drank from her as though I had been dying of thirst, cradling her head with my hands and pressing our embrace together. Her tongue danced with mine, and I basked in her scent, the hints of her own arousal mixing with mine. The Power flooded into me, filling me with it’s sweetness. Every feeling amplified, my awareness doubled. She gently pulled us apart, her hands still locked in a grip on my hair, her expression one of intensity. “Jessara… you’re going to be a wonderful student.”
My hold on the Power was tenuous at best, but it was there. “I’m… I’m really holding the Power?”She nodded with a grin, her knee rubbing harder against my moistening loins. “The Block is gone. You’ve still got much training to do, but now it can begin in earnest.”I could feel the greater volume of blood streaking through my veins, the rushing heat spreading throughout me, the pounding of my heart through my chest which she certainly must feel. I was quickly moistening, as her knee applied pressures in just the right spots. Then the knee slid back, and she scooted her chair back shaking her head. I felt an absence where it had been. I growled low in my throat, too caught up in passion to care about propriety or respect. She gave me a sharp look which finally brought reason back to my mind. “Jessara.” Her voice was gentle but firm. “Not tonight. And never, ever make love while holding the Power. You’re likely to kill yourself.” I slowly nodded, embers of desire burning hot inside me. I felt the Power slip away, like a volume of water finally running through a sieve when I had impossibly managed to keep it in for a short time. I was frustrated, but I rose and turned. Garret’s trim form was leaning against the interior of Rena’s doorframe, and immaculate smile upon his face. “I had him summoned, to show you to your new room.” I sucked in my breath, looking back to her, then back to Garret. Holding back every instinct I had to rush over and leap into his arms, I slowly glided my way over her floor, giving him a smile of poise and grace, and extended an arm. Garret interlocked his own arm with mine, and I looked back to Rena. We had but a momentary look to settle things between us, so I simply gave her a nod of thanks. She was frustrating and strange, but I loved her dearly for all she had done. Her expression back to me was one of… I struggled to place it. Her eyes were narrowed but warm, and her mouth was drawn up in almost a pout. Was it… envy? I decided to think upon it later.Rena had me assigned to a room on the same level as her, so there were no more staircases for me to complain over. Still, the journey took nigh a minute, and my mind made its way over my situation and what I would do. When we arrived at my door, Garret dropped my arm and bowed deeply. “Novice, I take my leave.”I grabbed his arm as I opened the door. “No… no you don’t.” I laughed. His startled yelp as I dragged his semi willing self into the room made it all worth it. I quickly bolted the door behind him and turned upon him as a feline upon prey.
He made one last valiant attempt, and I suppose it summoned some grudging respect for him, though I’d have no part of it. “Jessara, don’t you think that… we should… maybe wait for…”I tackled him onto the soft purple covers of this new bed of mine. “No… no I don’t.” I purred to him.Though to look back upon it as I transcribe this, I perhaps struggle to find justification for my forwardness. Some may say that I need no justification, that my actions were good and desirable. Others will look upon me and call my behavior inappropriate. Being in either camp myself depending upon my mood, I won’t take favor to either side. However, to those detractors, I’d just defend myself by reminding them of the effects upon a woman when she first drinks of the Power willingly. It’s an incredible rush to have the command of the Five Elements like that, and you become intoxicated with the power. Regardless, I’ll simply tell my tale the way it occurred.He struggled no more, wrapping his hands around my midsection and rolling with me so he was on top. I continued the momentum so that I was astride him again. This kisses never stopped, though sometimes they paused for a moment for us to regain our breath. His hands reached down and untucked my Novice’s dress from under my knees. It reached below my knees while I stood, but while kneeling over him, it proved no barrier. He simply slipped his hands underneath and cupped my rear. I grinded against his waist, feeling his thickness through his pants. My breathing was ragged, and I pulled his lower lip up and nibbled it gently as my fingers deftly unbuttoned his shirt. His hands ran up my back as I lay pressed to his muscular chest, lifting the soft white dress up above my midsection. I was, as he knew well, bare beneath that, and his one hand returned to my exposed self while the other traced gentle patterns across my back while keeping the dress from slipping back down. For my part, my arms were enwrapped around Garret’s head and I kissed him as deeply as I could manage. His errant hand cupped my mound from behind as I lay crouched on him, softly stroking me. I murmured something encouraging through the kisses, and he slid a single digit inside me. I gasped loudly, startled out of the kissing frenzy, and rested my forehead upon the pillow next to his face as I basked in the sensations. He slid deeper inside me in his thrustings, and I felt my muscles go weak. He was moving his position from out from under me, though I could barely think for his finger inside me. He turned me onto my back and knelt over me, and when I cracked my eyes open, his face was hovering above mine, watching me intently as he worked. I felt those recently discovered muscles to begin to tense, bracing for the eventual end, and relished in it. I found the willpower to loosely drape my arms around his neck and draw him to me, and though he seemed perturbed that he could no longer watch my ecstasy wrought expressions, I’m sure the kiss made up for it. His finger was inside my tight channel to the hilt, and I felt my hips bucking of their own accord, deepening the contact. My dress’ straps drooped off my shoulders, and it didn’t take him long to draw it below my chest and use his tongue there. The combined stimulus was more than I could take, and my mind tumbled down the red hazed path of climax. Every muscle in my body drew taught, my back bowed, and my voice cried out a single note of love. After that short eternity, I sagged back down to the bed’s surface, trembling like a leaf in the wind as I held him.
“So… are we even now?”His voice showed the jest, but I nipped him with annoyance anyway. “Is that all this was? Paying back a debt?”He shook his head, holding me as the last ripples of my orgasm subsided into afterglow. “No… of course not. I did this because I wanted to.”He moved to pull away but my hands found strength and I pulled him back to me. “You don’t think you get to leave yet, do you?”He smiled ruefully. “You want it again? My my…”My hands ran over his smooth chest, and I shook my head. My voice was quiet and demure. “Stay with me tonight?”His expression changed to seriousness. “I would love to.” Chapter 6 –

And so passed my first night in the same bed as a man. My assigned room, unfortunately, was now on the interior of the Tower rather than an exterior wall with a window which provided sunlight. Still, the Power-wrought torches which provided lighting for the rest of the building slowly came aglow, and I awoke as they sparked and ignited at sunrise. Garret lay next to me, his arm draped over my shoulder, and I ran my hands down his smooth chest again. I sighed lightly, enjoying his scent and his presence. He must have been tired from training… the novice Warders are put through rigorous routines of martial and weapons training from dawn until dusk. His breath fell softly on my cheek, and mischievous thoughts came upon me suddenly. I lightly kissed his lips, gauging the depth of his rest. Though his lips responded a bit to mine, he didn’t stir with the contact. I pushed his shoulder, rolling him onto his back, and traced a line down the hollow of his chest. My head followed my hand, carrying the covers down his tanned body as they went, feeling the slow rise and fall of his breathing. He had shucked his pants, leaving himself clad in his smallclothes. The loose fitting cloth didn’t do much for modesty, but I had no mind to keep him clothed anyway. I undid the string at the top, letting the waistband out, and tugged from the bottom until they reached his knees. I examined my prize, my mind half scholarly and half girlish curiosity. I had a vague concept of male anatomical workings, so I wasn’t surprised by him being smaller than I was used to from our previous experience in the tub. I took him into my mouth delicately, not wanting to wake him, and began to suck as I had before. He quickly responded to my efforts, growing rapidly in size within my mouth. I blinked but took it in stride, learning from this all. After his engorging to full length, I could only make it partway down his shaft now with my mouth now, so I encircled his shaft with thumb and forefinger and stroked as my lips continued their ministration. I continued my experimentations on my unknowing subject, enjoying myself all the while, when he awoke softly with a moan. I smiled, increasing my pace, rewarded with small sounds of enjoyment from him. He leaned up on his pillow, looking down upon my naked body sprawled upon the doublet giving him a glorious view, and fell back upon the bed top as his arms gave out their strength. After a time, he was quickly nearing the end of his line, and I could feel the surging inside him as I had before. His voice crescendoed, and knowing what was coming, I took him out of my mouth and kept my grip sliding on him with eyes closed. The first jet splashed warmly against my cheek, the next two falling shorter onto my lips and chin. I took him back into my mouth, continuing as I had before as his climax continued, tasting him. The sensation and taste were not terribly unpleasant, so after his throes had ceased, I swallowed and looked up at him with a coy grin and shining face. The look of unrepentant awe on Garret’s face made the whole experience worth it. I smiled sweetly up at him from my unique vantage, wiping an errant drip from my lip with a finger, and crawled back up the bed to snuggle with him. I pushed my face against the far side of the pillow, cleaning it a bit, then turned back to him. His breath was still ragged from climax, and I lay upon his body with legs straddling him on either side, curled up with my head on his chest.He clasped my back, rocking back and fourth for a small time, and spoke to me with voice slightly muffled from my locks of hair pooling on his chest. “I can’t say that I’ve ever had such a good wake up call.”I spoke back, not deigning to lift my head. “Glad to know I’m better than a bucket of cold water before sunrise.” I teased.He exhaled slowly, letting his breath return to normal patterns. “Quite a bit better, actually.” I lightly smacked his chest in mock annoyance. He let the silence linger for a near minute. “Do you think… when you are raised to Aes Sedai…” He trails off. “Well, never mind.”I had a good idea of his question. “I think you’d make a handsome Warder, Garret.”He looked so pleased by my compliment, like a child given a sweet. It felt so alien to me, this sensation of superiority. I was never terribly physically intimidating, and no one but girls years younger than me had ever held me in the regard he did. I supposed it was partly from the training. As I pondered, he spoke. “I’d be very pleased to serve you.” he finally managed. Had he really thought I would turn him down, after all we had shared? Perhaps other Novices are crueler.“Well… it’s a long road to travel, both of ours. But hopefully you can keep visiting me.”He laughs. “I hope so too. Missing morning practice is tolerated only a few times, and only if you’ve been getting extra practice in the week before. Luckily I have been, so I won’t get in trouble.”I rolled halfway off his lithe form, scooting up far enough to kiss him. We interlocked our lips for some time, letting our hands play down each other’s bodies. My errant hand found him hard again, and I broke off the kiss to give him a smile. He gave a half smile in return, covering embarrassment. “Not satisfied yet?”“No no… it was great. I just…” He doesn’t end his sentence.I had felt the familiar rumblings of desire in me, and now they enflamed. As much as I enjoyed giving pleasure to others, I also loved to get it back. My fingers traced over his shaft gently, stroking up lightly. His own fingers slid between my legs and inside me, a pair of them this time. He dove deep inside me, stroking upwards with a ‘come hither’ motion, creating incredible sensations. I tried to think as the sensations went on… stopped my own ministrations as he turned me onto my back and knelt above me on all fours. I pulled him down towards me, locking my legs over his behind. He shifted as he fell, moving up so that his member lay on my belly. I growled and pushed him downwards, closer towards coupling.He looked at me worriedly. “That’s… you don’t mean to…”I pouted. “Please?”“It’s for your own safety that we don’t. I don’t want to hurt you, Jessara.”My hands, wrapped around his shoulders, pushed him down. I pushed my face close to his, kissing. “You won’t, I’ll be fine. I… I need you inside me.”Confessing it aloud, such a forbidden act, made my vision swim. His profession for selfless abstinence crumpled. I could feel the tip of him at my entrance, and I opened like a flower for him. He entered slowly, and as he slipped in I gasped and tensed up, pulling him close. He stroked my face, watching my expression. “Does it hurt?”I was having enough trouble sorting out the sensations without having to verbalize them. It didn’t hurt… there was no pain. But the sensation of being filled, of having something inside me like that, was so strange. I realized how clenched I was, and I took a breath. More kisses trailed down his shoulder, and I tried to relax. “Keep going.” I said breathlessly.He began act again, small movements that drove him deeper inside me with every thrust. I felt pain then, a sharp twinge followed by a soreness that spread throughout my loins... I didn’t care though, consumed as I was in completing the act. There was pleasure too, and plenty of it. The commingling of the dichotomy of pain and pleasure stole my reason in a surge of passion, and the sensations merged into one, one that I needed more than anything. I responded to his thrusts with my hips, driving him deeper inside me. His mouth kissed at my temple and neck, bearing down over me as he was, and I raised my knees and clasped them over his back. As I rotated my hips upwards, his next thrust took me far deeper than the ones before, and my eyes which I hadn’t even realized were closed flew open as white stars streaked my vision… a blast of pain and pleasure impossible to describe. I know I gasped out in startlement, but luckily Garret was too consumed to hear, for he would probably have stopped and ensured I was alright. I didn’t want him to stop though… he was filling me up and I loved it. He came to a shuddering peak inside me, and as his motions stopped, so did the pleasure. I felt sore, like my lower torso had just been speared through, but yet I felt content. I might have been innocent, but I wasn’t ignorant. A girls first time, even an Novice of the Tower, wasn’t going to be mind blowing. And yet, Garret had given me so much already. He stirred, trying to talk but I couldn’t understand his words. As he rolled off me, I drew my arms over my stomach and rocked back and fourth. It was a sweet pain, and slowly fading.“I… are you sure that was okay?” His voice sounded vaguely distraught.I growled at him softly. “Yes… Yes I’m sure it was okay. Stop asking.”His eyes flared up with hurt. “I was just…”I collapsed back onto the bed. “I know you were. I’m not a fragile little porcelain doll that you need to ensure it doesn’t have a crack every few minutes. I’ll manage.” I swallowed with some difficulty, then got up.He glowered at me. “Well… I’m sorry that I hurt you.”I chuckled. “Don’t be. It felt wonderful.”He glanced at me doubtfully. “You don’t look like it felt wonderful.”“I’ll be fine. Don’t you know anything about girls?”He nods. “I know. I’m just… what we did was against the Code.”I winked. “It will be fine. No one’s going to find out.” I dragged him back down into bed, pushing away the ebbing pain, and traced a finger down his lithe chest. “Thank you.”He shook his head with a small blush. “No… thank you. I… I promise it will be better next time.”I sighed at him, though there was a loving air to it. “You know… I never thought I would complain a guy takes chivalry too far.” From his eyes, it was evident he didn’t know how to respond. He laid back on the bed quietly. I felt a little bad, so I leaned over him and kiss him. “I didn’t mean it like that, Garret. Its just… you don’t have to worry about me so much. I appreciate it but I’ll be fine. I promise.”He nodded solemnly. “I should get going.”The was a small spark of hurt inside me then. I realized that he was pushing the limits of the rules as it was, and that he was probably right… but to run off without any post coital cuddling… I sighed and smiled at him. “Bye.” He finished dressing and waved, leaving. My smile dropped as the door rang out against the frame. “Bye.” I repeated in the emptiness...
Chapter 7 –

I awoke in a startlement, my heart beating quickly. My room had no time piece, unlike Rena’s and the classrooms, and I had no sun to guide me. But Garret had left me after it was too late to go to morning classes, and I had slept for some time. The panic faded… after all, the only things I could miss were more instructions in things I didn’t really want to learn. I wandered down to one of the washrooms, bathing morosely. The water was piping hot and I should have been content. Instead I felt rather empty. I wasn’t mad at Garret, it was only that… it wasn’t perfect. Maybe I was entertaining folk tales. How often did life live up to them? Yet, I felt like I hadn’t done something right. Something was missing.

I heard a cough behind me, and turned lazily as I washed my hair. Rena knelt next to the tub only a breath behind me, clad in a full length dress of a misty green silk, so close that I was nearly touching her. I splashed through the water, drawing away with my eyes wide. “How did you…”

“You’re not using all your senses.” she grinned at me.

I lowered my eyes. “Sorry.”

Rena looked at me with girlish suspicion. “You missed half your classes. Have a busy night?” I turned beat red, turning away so fast that my hair trailed out water which left a line of water spots down her chest. She turned my face back towards her with a sharp hand. I felt her emerald eyes… they looked through me and into my soul. “You slept with him? You broke the precepts?” All my denials and justifications fled. “You know what this means?”

“That you…” I felt resentment rise in me. “You’re going to put me out? Out of the Tower?”

She bit her lip. “No… worse than that.” I looked up at her with a furrowed brow. “We’re going to make you take the trial to become a Daughter Accepted right now.”

I held my breath. “I’m going to test to become Accepted? I’ve had but a day of instruction…”

“It was your choice to accelerate your education, not ours. I told you why we keep Novices chaste. You don’t have that luxury anymore. You take it now… or you’ll never take it.”

***

I eyed the huge chamber, far beneath the White Tower. Rena ushered me along impatiently. “Most girls who come here have been training for at least half a year.” I nodded mutely. As though I weren’t worried enough, she was trying to inspire more troublesome thoughts? I consoled myself by examining the architecture. The domed room had been carved out of the bedrock of the island of Tar Valon. The light of the lamps on tall stands reflected from the walls. Centered under the dome was a rounded, silver arch. There were four other Aes Sedai beside the arch: Trista and Grenthal, the Yellow and Red respectively that had taken me after the village had been destroyed, plus two more. The first was a Blue who I believed was Serian Sedai, the Mistress of Novices. She was the one who spanked you if you were given penitence. I had never been sent to her, and if I passed the test, hopefully I never would be. The final was another Green, and though I didn’t recognize her face, the stole upon her shoulder marked her as the Kana, Keeper of the Chronicles, the second most powerful woman in the Tower, under the authority of only the Amyrlin herself. I swallowed nervously under their appraising eyes. Rena turned and stopped me from walking before we reached the arch. “Two things I will tell you now that no woman hears until she is this room. The first is this. Once you begin, you must continue to the end. Refuse to go on, and no matter your potential, you will be very kindly put out of the Tower with enough silver to support you for a year, and you will never be allowed back in.” The arch started to flicker… a flickering I knew I shouldn’t have been able to perceive yet I did. She furrowed her brow at me as I looked up into her face. She was worried about me, I could tell, yet there was hope too. “Second. To seek, to strive, is to know danger. You will know danger here. Some women have entered and they never come out. When the ter’angreal was allowed to grow quiet, they were… not… there. And they were never seen again. If you are to survive, you must be steadfast. Falter… even for a moment… and…” she trailed off. Her silence was more eloquent than any words could be. “Don’t feel like you must do this, child.”

“I’m not a child.” I said bitterly. In my resent filled and spent state, and I probably sounded all the more juvenile.

She clucked her tongue at me. “Over the years, no few Novices have been killed or had the Power burned out of them in that arch. Are you sure you are ready to face it? If you want to stop now...”

“Then you’ll put me out.”

“Yes. But you won’t be dead.”

“I have to do this.” I said in a quiet, stern tone.

Rena nodded to Grenthal. Grenthal spoke in cold, emotionless tones. “Whom do you bring with you, Sister?” The three other Aes Sedai around the ter’angreal continued their attentions to it.

“One who comes as a candidate for acceptance, Sister.” Rena replied just as coldly.

“Is she ready?”

“She is ready to leave behind what she was, and, passing through her fears, gain Acceptance.”

“Does she know her fears?”

“She has never faced them, but is now willing.”

“Then let her face what she fears.”

Rena stopped, four feet from the arch, and gestured back to me. “Your dress…” she whispered, not looking at me. I slowly drew the white dress off over my head, and felt the cold, moist air cloy on my skin. I shifted uneasily, naked as the day I was born, under the gazes of these women. I started, remembering then, and slipped off my sandals. I shivered, feeling the coolness of the floor hit my toes. Slowly, uncertainly, I folded the dress with numb fingers. I set it upon the cold marble block next to me with the sandals carefully lined up next to each other upon it. Their gazes were constant and unyielding. I felt like a cattle going to her slaughter. I walked towards the archway, and began to see… to see what it really was. The silvery light that poured from it were thousands of thin threads of Power, whipping around fast enough to flay the skin off my body.

“This is your trial,” Rena said, “and it will try to destroy you. You must face it, and then return. Remember that…” She walked behind me, pressing herself against me from behind, lowering her head down a bit to lightly touch my shoulder with her chin. Her voice was barely a whisper, but for this final moment, it was kind a loving. “The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.” A sole source of emotional warmth in a field of ice… and I drew strength from it. The archway glowed even brighter, if that was possible, beckoning. I stood in front of the arch, terrified beyond my ability to describe, yet all the more determined to enter. I took a deep breath and stepped through the archway. The light surrounded me, as if the air itself were shining, as if I were drowning in the light.

I opened my eyes slowly, feeling myself being jostled around as though I were on horseback. I eventually became aware of my positioning through the haze of dull pain: I was bound by my wrists behind my back, slung over the rear section of a horse like a saddlebag. My stirrings must have alerted the horse’s rider… my captor? He stopped, dismounting. I shifted my weight so I slid down off the horse to my feet, but I hadn’t realized how numb my legs were. They refused to support my weight, and I collapsed onto my back, painfully twisting my wrists. I cried out angrily and in pain, then looked up, squinting, into the bright sky. The man who rode on the horse which carried me was… for lack of a better word, gorgeous. His skin was a shade which I imagine mine would look had I liked in a desert my whole life, a sort of rich coppery tone. He wore loose flowing trousers, plus a ragged piece of cloth around his head to keep the sweat out of his eyes. His hair was blacker than the deepest midnight, long and flowing down his back. His bare chest was lean and muscular, like Garret’s. ‘Garret?’ I thought to myself. The name had come to my head unbidden, but yet I couldn’t quite remember who he was… or who I was. A stark panic sized me, and my captor grabbed me by the shoulder and raised me to my feet. The hand that took me was strong, so strong that it left pink marks on my skin. I noticed now that I was clad in the nightgown of the first days of our flight from my village. I spoke at him rapidly, a flurry of questions which I can’t recall now and aren’t important. I do remember the complete lack of comprehension on his face, how I realized that he didn’t speak my language. He pressed himself to me, kissing me harshly and demandingly, his hardness obvious through our clothes. I felt a huge surge of desire inside myself rise… this man was the most darkly beautiful creature I had seen before. But I rebelled. He had taken me here against my will, obviously for purposes of having me for himself, without my consent. I fought against the kiss as I fought against myself, pushing down the tides of desire in my loins. I wrenched free of the kiss, stumbling backwards with numb legs and bound hands, shooting him a glare of malevolence, trying to mask my desire with hatred. He spoke words which meant nothing to me, though I had no doubt guessing his meaning from his expression and tone. He considered my resistance to be all part of the fun. My insides turned to water… I doubted I could outdistance him on foot, and even if I could, he had a horse. I fled into the woods. His legs let him take strides which were bounds, and though at first from his lack of progress in shortening my lead I thought I was winning, but I quickly realized he was toying with me… simply letting me get farther away from the road and farther away from anyone who might hear us. I tried to turn the path of my flight back towards the road but that only accelerated my recapture. He slammed into me, knocking me back to the soft, leaf strewn ground. I have often wondered why I didn’t scream for help… to this day I can’t explain why not. Perhaps because I knew this was a nightmare of my own creation, or perhaps because I didn’t really want to be saved.

My wrists hurt bitterly, and I struggled to get weight off them, lest they twist more painfully then they were already. I extended one arm and bent the other, getting my bound hands out from under my back, but my legs were already under his body, unable to help in my escape, and my efforts got me nowhere. His movements started slowly and lazily, pulling the soft linen of my gown off my shoulders and down over my chest. I struggled and tried to kick as he used his tongue to lavish pleasure upon my nipples. My vision started to go red again, and with all my willpower I fought against the rising heat of my body. There was no denying his skill… under different circumstances I would probably be writhing under his tongue in quite a different way. As it stood now, I struggled to not lapse in my effort to get him off me. He slid off my legs, and I seized my only opportunity. My legs twisted up in a sideways kick aimed at his head, but his hands simply caught both of my ankles in mid kick and locked them over his shoulders. He leaned over me, pushing my legs knees almost back to my shoulders. It was a very uncomfortable position, made more so by how vulnerable I was. My back was arched up off the ground, leaving my loins exposed. Unable to struggle from this position, I could only weakly buck as we hung for several seconds, accomplishing only to ride my gown further up my waist and expose my loins entirely. He leaned forward, this man who could read the darkness of my heart, and kissed my still lips. He smiled at me then, not maliciously, but almost gently, with a perfect row of white gleaming teeth, as he slid his pants down to his knees. I closed me eyes then. I closed them against the pain of how I was positioned, against the dark surges of desire inside me.

With one swift stroke, he pierced me to the core. I willed it to hurt, willed myself not to surrender, but the burst of pink behind closed eyelids made my loins moisten all the more. For the barest of seconds, he stayed sheathed completely inside me buried to the hilt, then drew out of me and entered me again. My world was a haze of red, and I felt tears well up in my eyes unbidden. Pleasure I had known, but it had been a shallow sensation compared to the infernal bliss I was in the throes of. I hated it, but I loved to hate it. I strained my leg muscles, trying to get free, but didn’t even begin to succeed. His hands grasped my waist, and he thrusted in a steady rhythm. The world behind my eyelids was mottled red, black, purple and pink, and I continued to exist in my own world wrought by tightly shut eyes for an eternity, filled only with my own forbidden pleasures and self loathing. Each stroke drove deeper inside me, rubbing a point which felt like it was directly connected to my spine, sending blasts of pleasure through me. His strokes increased in speed, crushing my willpower with his. Never before had I wanted so badly not to want something, and yet I could do nothing before him. The control he had over me was amazing, and I despised him for it. I moaned then, a strangled sound which betrayed my lust, and bit my lip to prevent further vocalizations. I felt my teeth break the skin, tasting my own blood in my mouth, as my teeth ground together, fighting a battle against my soul to not submit to this dark creature of a man. Regardless of my own will, I felt a climax approaching, one that promised to be mind shatteringly powerful. I fought until the very end, and just as I reached the crest of my plateau and was about to tumble over the edge into release, he withdrew abruptly. He straddled my shoulders, and I turned my face away from him, not wanting him the victory of seeing my tears. I felt jets of his seed land on my pink cheek, somehow hotter than my skin. He emptied himself upon me, and then stood. I opened my eyes, wiping at my face. He grinned at me, then turned and gathered up his trousers. It would be a simple matter to take a rock and cave his head in, without him noticing until it was too late. I rose to my knees, trying to stand. I could still an empty echo of him being deep inside me, burning… the need was incredible… overwhelming. I ached for release more than anything more in my life, more than I had even wanted to resist him. The silver gateway cut into existence near me. I wanted to love him... to kill him... but more than anything not to run. ‘The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.’ I heard Rena’s loving voice again, and crawled through the arch. I felt dead.

I was a rocky sea of confused thoughts and intense desire, barely aware of the chamber of the Aes Sedai. I didn’t flinch when the ice cold water was poured over her head. Grenthal’s voice was as cold as the water she poured on me, speaking by rote. “You are washed clean of false pride. You are washed clean of false ambition. You come to us washed clean, in heart and soul.” It ran down my face, washing me partway clean, but leaving some cloying strands of his seed still upon my face. She rose and stepped back, and Rena knelt next to me and took my arm again. I coughed harshly, snuggling against Rena’s kneeling body.

She looked relieved. “Was it bad?” Her hand went down the side of my wet face, carrying off the remaining strands.

I nodded, my hands trembling. “I never knew that I could... be so…”

Serian, the Blue, cut me off. “No woman must talk about what she sees. That is for her and her alone.”

Rena nodded. “I asked only because you…” She stopped and took my hand, which was still shaking uncontrollably. I was still crying… I had been ever since I left the arch, I just hadn’t realized it. Memories coalesced in my head… the test… the dark man… and there I was, half clutching my knees in a fetal position, shivering wet and naked on the cold stone floor in a puddle of icy water. I realized there were other Aes Sedai in the chamber now. The Amyrlin, in her striped stole was there, with additional shawled sisters from each Ajah now arrayed near her on both sides. I slowly uncoiled, rising to my knees and looking up. The Amyrlin Seat herself intoned the final words with a small smile. “You are washed clean of Jessara ni’Fredonia of Arafel. You are washed clean of all ties that bind you to the world. You have come to us washed clean in hear and soul. You are Jessara, Daughter Accepted of the White Tower.”

I looked up at the Amyrlin, panting. My vision couldn’t focus well on the Amyrlin’s face, and I saw nothing but a blur of color. I fell forward on my hands then, coming dangerously close to spilling the meager contents of my stomach onto the floor. I hadn’t realized how much the test had drained me. Serian set a new dress, white with a hem of all seven colors of the Ajahs, onto the table as she took my old one. “You might want to put some clothes on.” she said dryly.

I reached up, and Rena helped me stand. I held onto her tightly, clinging. The Aes Sedai each congratulated me in turn, then broke off into side conversations and left in pairs or small groups. I slipped into my new dress, restrapping my sandals on, before the rushing blood in my head made me feel dizzy. “Relax, Jessara… sleep now. You’ll wake up as a Daughter Accepted of the Tower, my valiant kitten.”

“Kitten? What kind of nickname is that?” She giggled at me as her hand passed over my eyes and I felt the darkness consume me.

Chapter 8 –

I was lying in a bed, the covers and pillows dyed in the colors of the spring forest. Even if I didn’t know who’s room it was from the surroundings, I would have been able to tell. The bed smelled of sweet flowers, vanilla and raw sensuality. It smelled like her.. ‘her’ being the coquette in green who now haunted my dreams. I hugged one of the plush pillows to my body, feeling the warm pressure along my contours. If I closed my eyes, I could almost pretend it was someone who would drive away my loneliness.

I sighed at my foolishness, yet the feelings didn’t go away. I opened my eyes and looked at the down-filled sack, feeling empty as sin. I shoved it away and slowly rolled out of bed. The Power-wrought torches in the room sensed my movement and smoldered to a low orange, leaving me with enough light to move by but not enough to impede sleep should I wish to resume slumber. My toes sunk into the carpet as I padded across the room. I was definitely alone, so I took in my surroundings with absent curiosity.

There was a cup of Domani tea on the table which sat between two chairs, where we conducted our lessons. A quick touch told me it was room temperature… she hadn’t been here in a while. Quickly becoming restless, I walked over to her desk. There were stacks of papers, and my cursory glances told me they were mostly in languages I didn’t know. I felt guilty looking through her things, but I needed something to distract me. Half buried under one stack was a metallic form, and I drew it out of the mess. I held a fine golden chain, the individual links so thin they were nearly a mesh… and attached was a beautiful inset emerald, cut to be multifaceted with eight edges meeting at a square at the top. Cased in gold and surrounded by smaller stones… I held it tenderly in unrepentant awe. It was colder than ice to the touch, almost painful, and the very air around it seemed to glow. With my newfound treasure in hand, I lay back in Rena’s massive, warm bed, holding it by the top of the chain and watching it swing lazily back and forth. My heart was empty, but this bauble of wonder had me so enraptured I nearly forgot my woes. I contemplated putting it on. Though I longed to wear it, there was no doubt that this jewel was Power wrought. The unnatural temperature aside, it simply felt alive in my hand.

On a whim, I clasped it around my neck. At once, my entire body spasmed and jerked, and I clutched at my knees. For a moment, it had felt as though all the blood in my body was sucked from my veins, siphoned into the jewel… an excruciating experience, yet I didn’t even have time to cry out before the pain had ceased. I fell back upon the soft covers, stunned. It felt as though I had just been tested, and found acceptable. The icy weight on my chest was now warm, sending gentle crests of heat through my bosom as it lay upon me. My finger traced the edge of the jewel carefully. I felt the Power on the edge of my mind… there for me to take if I wanted it. It had never felt so close like this… I sighed easily and relaxed as I embraced the Source. At once, all my senses were amplified a hundredfold. I could feel the pouring warmth in the air from the heated pipes in the walls, the fuzzy blanket beneath me against my legs and neck, the texture of my bangs lying gently against my forehead. The texture of my dress rubbed against my sensitive skin all across my body, as though an invisible lover’s hands were caressing my every part at once. Excruciating desire flooded me, an overwhelming need for contact with someone. In a daze, I looked about the room, though I knew it was devoid of life. I felt the mental barriers I had erected only a short time ago, shielding myself from my own torrid cravings during the test, collapse before the warmth pouring from my chest through me. I cupped myself through the thin material of the Accepted dress, caressing. My breathing became ragged, breaths coming short and quick. My one hand slipped under the fabric, feeling the slick moisture of my arousal… I was losing my mind. I raised myself off the bed to scoop the skirt entirely from under me, leaving it laying on my torso, feeling my world narrow to only my pleasure. A pair of fingers spread my lips as the other set of fingers indulged my needs. The emerald throbbed red waves throughout me in counterpoint to my fluttering heartbeat, a tumult of wracking spasms washing over me. This wasn’t like anything I had experienced… there was no evolution to my pleasure… no anticipation, no foreplay, no climax, no reprieve… only unrelenting, mind crushing ecstasy. My fingers were feverish in their movements, desperately seeking a release which would not come.

Footsteps coming down the hallway echoed in my enhanced perception. Fear tore through me then, terror probably the only emotion capable of restoring an iota of sanity to my psyche. Through a crimson haze, I agonized over being caught. I threw my dress back down over my lower half just as the door opened, Rena Sedai stepping through.

“So… you’re awake. Good to see. Congratulations, by the way.” I was terribly lightheaded, chest heaving, struggling for breath. My face was covered with a light sheen of sweat, deeply blushed with exertion. I sucked in a breath and let it out in a vein attempt of collecting myself. The jewel on my chest still throbbed with painfully repressed desire, and I glowed strongly with the Power. I managed a quiet, perfunctory greeting, a smile on my face. She sat at the side of the bed, leaning over me, brushing the back of her hand from shoulder down to the gem nestled between my breasts. I shivered at her touch, shaking with desire. “Didn’t I tell you not to hold the Power while you were like this?” She clucked her tongue at me. “This isn’t yours, you know…” Her fingers brushed the jewel.
er



I felt like my body was on fire, and I couldn’t think. “I’m sorry… just… I found it and…”

A wry smile played over her features… that face that made my heart melt. “Curiosity killed the kitten?”

I certainly didn’t need the enhanced senses granted by the Power to detect the smell of female arousal in the air. Was it just mine? I hated myself for wondering, for letting myself hope. But why was I even trying to hide? It was idiotic, really. Rena was a far cry from naïve, and I was being wildly unsuccessful in trying to hide something she didn’t disapprove of anyway. Damning the consequences, I spilled out a torrent of words. “I put it on… I mean I know it was yours but I hoped that you wouldn’t mind because I wanted to know what it was… it’s really beautiful… like… like you… and… I want you, Rena Sedai. I want…” I trailed off, the horror of what I finally admitted striking me. The vulnerability of confession.

She smiled at me lopsidedly. “I can tell.” Her hand returned to her side, but not before lightly brushing against my hardened nipple, forcing a small gasp from my lips.

I tensely awaited a response that didn’t come. Finally I prodded. “Then you’ll…”

“Release the Power, kitten. Release it, and we can talk.”

I felt chided, so I submitted, shuddered at the loss of the Power as I let it finally slip away. I pouted mildly at her, feeling my hands stray under the fabric of my dress of their own accord, before I caught them and pulled them up, clasping my hands over my chest to keep them still. “Sorry for taking your necklace.”

She gently scooted me over and lay down on the bed next to me, looking up at her ceiling. “It’s a sa’angreal, or a device to amplify a woman’s strength in the Power. I’m very impressed that you’re able to wear it without it killing you.”

I snuggled up against her shoulder, feeling her warm skin through the sheer silk. “I’m glad that I can be the student you want me to be. I was so afraid… afraid you’d make me go.”

She gently extracted herself from my grasp, moving so that she could look at my face. “Jessara…
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