Fan Fiction ❯ Wild Blue Yonder ❯ Confession's Good for the Soul ( Chapter 34 )

Disclaimer: As before the only thing I own is the plot and my characters, everything else is Tolkein.

Wild Blue Yonder

By DBZ Vegeta

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Chapter 34 - Confession's Good for the Soul

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Exhaustion finally caught up with Rain, after three days of fleeing from Mirkwood. Three days of trying to escape her past, three days of trying to escape her future, three days of trying to escape her heart. It was the last one the hurt the most, her heart. As she got further and further away from Mirkwood, a pain had lodged within her soul, slowing eating away at the edge of her sanity.

The brief snatches of sleep she got atop Arod's back did nothing the help the situation. If anything it made her even more confused. The surrounding forest looked the same as it did the day she left Mirkwood, a never-ending sea of darkness, with only flashes of light here and there.

She slid tiredly down from Arod's back in a small clearing at the edge of Mirkwood forest. They had finally broken through the darkness and the sudden appearance of bright light startled and confused her. Dragging her bag off Arod, she slipped the cinch of his saddle loose and let it fall heavily to the ground. To tired to even pick it up she let it lay where it fell. Grabbing her bag, she dragged it behind her to a log on the other side of the clearing. Knowing that if she sat down that would be the end of her, she slowly gathered stones and dead wood to start a small fire. Barely able to stay awake, she managed to light the fire and lay out her blankets next to the flickering flames. With a weary sigh she gratefully laid down and fell into a deep sleep.

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Languidly, Rain rolled over onto her side and sighed gently. Cracking her eyes open, she discovered that her fire had gone out and that it was late afternoon. Yawning widely, her jaw popping with the effort, she sat up and stretched her arms high over her head. Spotting Nanook sitting next to her, panting softly, she reached out and ran her fingers through the short hair on top of his head.

"Have a good rest Bup-pup?" she asked, chuckling when he whined happily and licked her across the face.

"Ugh, don't do that?" she cried as she brought her arm up to scrub her face. A low chuckle behind her startled her and moving swiftly, she swung around her gun leaping into her hands and pressed unerringly between the eyes of the man sitting on the log behind her. Dark eyes twinkled merrily as the figured spoke.

"That's the second time you have pointed your weapon on me. Don't I qualify as a friend to you yet or do you consider me an enemy?" the voice crackled with amusement.

"Shit Gandalf, didn't anyone tell you it is impolite to sneak up on a lady." Rain snapped as she dropped her arm, adrenaline pumping furiously through her veins.

"Ah, but my dear, I didn't sneak. I walked quite calmly into your camp and have been waiting patiently for you to awaken." he quipped back, a smile darting over his lips.

"Humpf." she grunted noncommittally as she holstered her gun and turned away from the grinning wizard. Her nerves were shot and it didn't help when a smart-alex wizard decided to try and be cute. Rolling up onto her knees she closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, trying to calm the tension fizzling through her veins. Gandalf watched curiously as Rain sat with her back stiff to him. He had expected much more than silence from her. He had overheard the conversation that Legolas and his mother had in the gardens and managed to catch up to Rain before Legolas did. Of course, being a wizard did help at times.

"Why did you follow me?" Rain asked softly, interrupting his musing.

"Ah, we didn't get a chance to visit at Mirkwood, so I felt that this would be a good time as any." Gandalf said gently. Rain turned and gave him a confused looked. 'He wanted to visit, that's why he followed her.' she thought.

"You want to visit? With me?" she asked astonishment coloring her tone. Her mind ran in different directions, wondering if the man in front of her was senile or just that insensitive. Here she was in the midst of the biggest crisis in her life and he wanted to visit with her.

"Yes of course, I find you to be a very interesting individual and wanted to know more about you and your world." he said, his eyes twinkling brightly.

'He is insane.' she thought as she pushed herself up off of her knees and walked steadily over to the dead fire. Kneeling down, she quickly rebuilt the fire and turned to pull her pack closer to her. His hand holding her pack out to her startled her somewhat, but she dismissed it as she took the pack from him. Opening it up, she pulled out a kettle and the waterbag. Pouring a generous amount in the kettle, she placed it close to the edge of the flame to heat.

Going through the motions, that had become a morning ritual since she had arrived in Middle Earth, she swiftly prepared breakfast for her and her uninvited guest. Passing a cup of steaming tea, the closest thing she could find to a caffeine supplement, she took a quick sip grimacing at the taste. She still could not get used to the flavor, but it did wake her up.

She eyed the wizard over the rim of her cup as he delightedly ate his breakfast, Nanook sitting at his knee hoping for any scraps that came his way. She sighed disgustedly, Nanook had become the king of beggars since they had arrived here. Nanook's eyes rolled over to her and his tail wagged heartily as he bounced across the space and flopped down next to her. His bright blue eyes beseeching her for a morsel.

"You nucklehead, you had your breakfast already. This is mine." she chuckled as he rolled over onto his back, his legs waving playfully in the air and his eyes full of happiness. Low laughter from across the clearing causing to her remember her uninvited company and she sobered remembering the reason she was here in the first place. She looked up into the dark, wise eyes that peered brightly at her. She sighed as she laid her half full plate down in front of Nanook, suddenly no longer hungry.

"You wanted to talk, so talk." she said brusquely, staring directly at him.

"You know my dear, that he is going to catch up with you. It is only a matter of time." Gandalf said softly, ignoring the flames that seemed to dance in her green eyes.

"I am doing this for his own good, not mine. It would be best for him to forget about me." she said angrily as she stood up glaring down at him. "I thought you wanted to talk about my world not my love life."

"Ah, but my dear, they are one in the same." he said cryptically. She frowned as she tried to interpret the meaning behind his words but gave up, shaking her head angrily.

She stood up and walked over to Arod, who nickered happily. Rubbing his soft nose briefly, she picked up his saddle and laid it on his back. Cinching up the straps, she quietly collected her gear and tied the bag off to the saddle. Walking over to extinguish the fire, she was stopped by Gandalf's voice.

"Running isn't going to make matters better. You need to face your feelings and acknowledge them."

"I acknowledge that I am not good enough for Legolas and that I need to return to my home where I can be of some good." she said, not looking at the wizard.

"So you would rather run from a problem than to stand and face it head on. I thought you were better than that, I must have been wrong." he said, his voice mocking her.

"I never run from my problems!" she yelled, whirling to glare at him, her eyes flashing angrily.

"Then what do you call this?" he said, his voice now soft and calm. Her head reared back and a realization that she was just running away from her feelings instead of facing them slapped her in the face.

"Oh my god, what have I done?" she whispered hoarsely, her hands coming up to cover her mouth. `That's what she had been doing, running away from her heart instead of facing it and conquering her fears.' she thought. `Legolas must hate me for taking off like that.'

"What am I going to do now?" she said as she slid slowly to the ground, leaning forward until her head rested on her knees. She was vaguely aware that Nanook was whining next to her, his wet nose pressed against her cheek and a warm hand resting on her back. All the doubt and all the anxiety she had been feeling for the past month suddenly rushed into her, threatening to overwhelm her. Her eyes filled with tears, and a pain so harsh spread through her body it took her breath away. She attempted to breathe, but each breath she took came out in gasping ragged sobs that shook her entire frame.

A soft gentle murmur filled the air with her sobs and slowly her body began to calm. She became conscious of a hard warmth and a gentle touch along her back. A fragrance of old wood and pine needles filled her senses and she opened her eyes to look directly into Gandalf's concerned face. She looked embarrassed as she pushed herself up and off of his lap, where he had held her during her emotional breakdown.

"Thanks." she mumbled as she lifted a corner of her sleeve to wipe the wetness from her face.

"You're welcome." he said with a soft smile. "Now are you ready to face Legolas?"

"Not really, but I suppose that I will have to." she said softly.

"Good, he's standing right behind you."

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A/N: Uh Oh, Legolas has showed up. What's Rain going to do know? Stay tuned for the next chapter.

Also to all of my readers, I will be going out of town for the next two weeks, so there will not be any updates until after the middle of August. Please be patient, I plan on writing while I am away.

Thanks for reading ~ DBZ Vegeta