Fan Fiction ❯ You Want Me to Do What? ❯ One-Shot

"You Want Me to Do What?"

By Time Lady

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Disclaimer: This story and the characters contained within are entirely my own.

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Exhausted from a long day of work, Stacy Craig trudged into her cramped apartment. She dumped her purse and tote bag full of textbooks on the couch, then tossed her chalk dust covered jacket on the chair. All she wanted to do at that moment was collapse onto her bed for a little while, ignore the piles of papers waiting to be graded and forget the class of nine-year-old not-so-perfect angels she'd spent the day "baby-sitting." Which is why she totally failed to notice a pair of spheres floating over the pile of junk heaped onto the stool in the bedroom.

The purple sphere lowered to hover over the woman, who was sprawled face down on her bed. "Hello," she heard a male voice say.

Wearily the exhausted teacher lifted her head. In front of her face was a glowing purple orb. "Riiiigggghhhttt… those kids are making me lose my mind," she said aloud before burying her head under the pillow.

"Oh, do get up," said a female voice.

It registered in Stacy's mind that she had not turned on the TV or radio. Therefore, there should not be anyone talking to her. "Rise and shine," said the male voice cheerfully.

Stacy rolled over with a groan. A glowing purple sphere, about the size of a soccer ball, hovered above her. Nearby a similar orb, this one orange, floated above the mess on the floor. She sat up abruptly.

"Oh good, you're awake," said the male voice, which seemed to come from the purple orb.

"I must be hallucinating. There's gotta be something in those marker fumes," muttered Stacy, shaking her head. The four years of riding herd on hyperactive, spoiled third-graders had to be getting to her.

"No. We're real."

She stared at the floating balls trying to process what she saw before her. "You're not from this world, are you?"

"We aren't even from this dimension," added the female voice. The orange orb floated closer.

"I… suppose… you want me to take you to my leaders," stammered Stacy. Her eyes were wide as she grasped the blanket under her in a death grip.

"Now why would we want you to do a silly thing like that?" asked the purple orb.

"Isn't that what most alien intelligences want?" Cautiously she moved off of the bed.

"I'd hardly call that one intelligent," scoffed the orange orb as it made a movement towards the purple orb.

"No. We want you to be a piece in a game we're going to play." The purple orb's male voice sounded almost cheerful. A snort of annoyance seemed to come from the orange globe.

"Excuse me, but you want me to do what?" She stared in disbelief at the two spheres hovering above the junk in her bedroom. A strange white mist that appeared from nowhere began to obscure piles of graded and un-graded papers, lesson plans, text books and worksheets strewn about the floors and tables.

"Be a piece in the game," said the floating purple orb. "You see, we had this smashing idea…"

"You mean you had the idea," interjected a somewhat irritated female voice from the orange globe.

"All right," returned the purple globe. "I had this smashing idea. Our existence is incredibly boring, so I suggested we gather up some other beings and use them to play a game. Won't that be just peachy?"

Stacy blinked. "Let me get this straight… you two… whatever you are… show up in my bedroom, fill it up with some white mist so I can't even see the floor, not that I could before, and ask me to play some games?" Her face was a mask of disbelief. She pushed several strands of brown hair out of her blue-green eyes.

"Well, yes. That was the idea."

She stared at the purple sphere with an uplifted eyebrow. "It's… been done already."

The purple orb was silent for a moment. It seemed to be analyzing the short, heavyset woman standing in front of it. "No. Seriously?"

"It's been done."

"I told you so," interjected the orange globe. "I tried to tell you, but would you listen? Nooooooo…"

"It's a standard science fiction cliché," explained Stacy with a shrug. "One or two super powerful, almost god-like beings snatch weaker beings from their home planets and make them pawns in some sort of game. There are dozens of stories, maybe even hundreds, which use a game as the main plot. If you hadn't filled my room up with this stupid mist…." She tried to fan some of it out of her face. "…I would be able to show you one or two."

"Oh bother." The purple globe bounced around the room in annoyance. "I thought I was being original. You see, it's dreadfully boring out in space. All we do is watch creatures not totally unlike you scurry about and record the activities. After a few centuries, one needs a break from the routine."

"I was perfectly satisfied," snorted the voice of the orange globe. "Nothing's ever exciting enough for you."

"Excuse me," interrupted Stacy, waving her arms to get their attention. The spheres proved as attentive as her students. "HEY!" she shouted in her loudest teacher voice.

"Yes?" said the orb voices in unison.

"Sorry to bother you, but what now?"

The purple globe seemed to glow in embarrassment. "You'll have to excuse us, but we are new at this games thing," said the male voice. "I guess as long as you're here, we might as well play some sort of game."

Purple lights flashed. Stacy found herself standing on a giant black and white tile floor in a misty, white room. "What the hell did you do with my bedroom?" she shrieked.

"It's still where it was. We've just moved to a more convenient place to play." The purple sphere hovered close to Stacy.

"And just what game did you have in mind?" Stacy felt her eye begin to twitch as she fervently wished for a baseball bat.

"I believe on your world they call the game `chess.' It appeared rather intriguing."

Stacy's jaw dropped open. "I don't believe this. I'm kidnapped by a glowing purple beach ball to play games and it just wants to play chess?"

"Is, um, there something wrong with that?" it asked.

"You stupid git. Have you even bothered to research this game?" The orange orb zoomed over to its purple counterpart.

"Um… no… not really…"

"Spirits of space, you really are a moron." The other globe as it flashed angrily in orange. "One being isn't going to be enough. From what I've seen, you need thirty-two pieces. Then there's a certain set of rules to follow. You probably haven't a clue as to what they are, do you?"

"I was sort of hoping that this human could explain the rules to me…"

"Don't look at me," Stacy returned flatly. "I tried to learn how to play chess once and gave up. Besides, this is my off time. I don't teach outside of school." Stacy pressed her fingers to the bridge of her nose as she felt the beginnings of one of her normally student-induced stress migraines coming on.

"Bugger all. You just had to spoil my fun, didn't you?" The purple sphere sunk down close to the floor.

"I don't see why you just can't be content with watching and recording data."

Stacy felt like she was watching a tennis match, except the balls were the ones doing the arguing. The orange and purple orbs argued back and forth about the purple one's obsession with the need to play a game. Her feet, already sore from a long day in the classroom, started to ache. "I wish I had my watch on." As she listened to the orange orb complaining about the purple orb not doing its job, she plopped down onto the giant chessboard. "Ugh. . . and I thought my students like to argue," thought Stacy. "Excuse me," she said aloud.

"Now what?" snapped the orange globe.

"Look, if you're not going to use me to play a game, I'd really appreciate it if you could send me home," said Stacy. "I have work tomorrow. There are lessons to be planned and huge stacks of papers to be graded. Plus I really need to organize my sock drawer," she added, hoping her sarcasm wasn't totally lost on the alien beings.

"Bloody hell." The purple orb flashed in annoyance. "I went through all the trouble of bringing you here and I intend to play some sort of game."

"Oh all right," snapped the orange orb. "There's not going to be any way to exist with you if you don't have your way."

"Can we just get this over with already?" Stacy rolled her eyes. The purple one reminded her of several students in her class. Spoiled and intent on getting their own way.

"But if we're going to play a game, I will choose the game and I will set it up," amended the orange globe.

"Anything to break up the routine!" exclaimed the purple orb.

"Right. First, I'll need a player of my own." The female voice of the orange sphere was silent as it appeared to concentrate. A few minutes later, another being appeared. Stacy wasn't sure how to categorize the newcomer. He, she assumed it was a he, was mostly humanoid in shape. Downy white fur covered rippling muscles of his bare chest. Breeches made out of some sort of animal skin protected the lower half of his body. His bare feet ended in sharp claws, as did his paw-like hands. Stacy tried to classify the type of animal his face resembled but couldn't. Mentally she ended up describing him as a cross between a cat and a dog, with a lion's mane.

"Rraggr arwf grrrrowf!" he demanded. Stacy stared at him in confusion.

"Better do something about that language," chuckled the purple orb. "We're going to need to make sure he understands the rules."

"Spirits of Space," muttered the orange globe. "Have to make everything difficult, do you? All right. I'll set something up." The orange orb pulsed as it concentrated.

"Grrrror rrrrer aror to my home!" snarled the alien.

Stacy blinked in surprise as the alien's language suddenly changed. "What did you do to him?"

"I just set up a translation field within the domain." The orange sphere glowed smugly. "To him, it sounds like we're speaking his language."

"I see," replied Stacy with a confused expression.

"You do?"

"No, not really."

"I'm using myself as a translator for the two of you," stated the orange orb flatly. "So long as you're within our range, you'll understand each other."

"Now that makes sense," returned Stacy. Despite the strangeness of the situation, she suddenly grinned. "How would you like a job at my school translating for some of my students?"

"No."

"Return me to my home at once," snapped the alien as he lashed out at the orbs with his claws.

"Oooo… you certainly picked a tough one." The purple orb floated out of the alien's reach.

Stacy studied the alien again and shivered. "Why am I suddenly getting a bad feeling about this?" The alien whipped around to regard her. Stacy swallowed hard as she met his predatory gaze. "I knew I should have stayed in bed this morning," she muttered.

"You'll be returned home as soon as we finish a little game we're going to play," explained the orange orb.

"You could just spare yourself the trouble and energy and send us both home right now," offered Stacy. She'd rather be dealing with hordes of hyperactive nine-year-olds than this.

"I must return to my hunt," snarled the alien. "If I do not bring a suitable trophy back to my people I will be forced out of the tribe and bring shame to my clan."

The orange orb glowed in a way that, if it were humanoid, might have been interpreted as a mischievous smile. "You should like this game. We're going to play `the hunter and the hunted.'" The chessboard dissolved. Instead, Stacy found herself sitting on mossy ground. She paled as she realized the misty checkerboard room was now a steamy tropical rain forest. "One of you will be the hunter, the other the hunted. The objective will be for the hunter to catch the hunted before she can reach the end of the jungle."

"She?" asked Stacy. A sick feeling settled in her stomach.

"You."

"Me?"

"Yes."

"I knew I should have stayed in bed this morning," griped Stacy, pressing her fingers to the bridge of her nose as that migraine stepped up a notch.

"If the hunter catches you before you reach the exit, the game ends," continued the orange orb.

"Where's the fun in that?" asked the purple globe. "What do we do?"

"We watch." The orange orb floated higher.

"I wanted to play the game, not watch it!" snapped the male voice with an angry flash of purple. "No fair!"

"My game, my rules," sniffed the orange orb. "I will be generous and give the hunted a head start."

"What if we refuse to do your bidding?" The alien took a defensive stance.

"Well, you two can sit here forever, for all I care," returned the female voice offhandedly. "And blame that one," added the orb with a slight movement towards the purple globe. "That's the one who wanted to play a game in the first place."

"But this isn't playing!" complained the purple orb. "Playing means we have a hand in the action, not that we sit and watch them do whatever."

"Tough. You agreed to my rules." The orange sphere zoomed over to Stacy and hovered in front of her face. "Now, I'll give you about a fifteen Earth minute start. I suggest you make good use of it."

Stacy looked at her opponent as he flexed his claws and flared his nostrils, then looked at the orbs helplessly. The purple one moved as if shrugging. "I guess I don't have a choice," she muttered.

"Ready?" asked the orange orb. Stacy stood and nodded, though she knew there was no way she could really be ready for this. "Get set. Go!"

The young woman took off as fast as she could. She didn't know how fast her opponent was, but she was fairly certain he was an experienced hunter. He would find her in no time. "I have to get out of this jungle," thought Stacy.

Two hours later, there was no sign of the exit. Branches scratched her face while thorny vines caught in her clothes. Physical exertion was almost an unknown to her, making the oppressive jungle heat unbearable. Stacy dropped down to the ground in exhaustion. She must have stumbled a hundred times over tree roots, rocks, and thick vines. Her hip hurt. Stacy's growling stomach reminded her that she hadn't eaten since hours before she was kidnapped by the orbs. Nothing in the forest looked edible. Suddenly she heard a growl. "Oh God, he's getting close," she thought.

Stacy used the last of her physical reserves to make herself stand. She hiked on for a few more feet, then tripped over a rock. "OW!" she exclaimed as she hit the ground and rolled. Stacy tried to get to her feet, then gave up. "Damn it…," she thought, realizing she had probably sprained her ankle. "This can't get any worse…" Rain began to fall. "Oh hell…."

Fifteen minutes later, the hunter came upon his prey and froze. Something was not right. The fur-less female just sat huddled on the ground. Here was a chance to end this tiring "game." Silently he stalked forward. His prey looked up. The blue-green eyes were puffy and red-rimmed. He tried to will her to stand and run, to give him a chance to chase and pounce upon her.

"Just capture me and get it over with," said Stacy mournfully.

"What?" growled the alien hunter in surprise.

"I'm tired," she began. "I'm hungry. I'm soaking wet and I think I sprained my ankle. I don't want to do this anymore. I'd rather spend a week non-stop with maniacal third graders than do this another minute. I just want to go home! Capture me and this damned game will end." Stacy began sobbing again, partially out of anger, partially of frustration and pain.

"That was bloody boring," snapped the purple orb as it watched the alien lift Stacy into his arms. "Watching H2O come to a boil is about as interesting."

"You're the one who wanted to play," returned the orange globe. "And you agreed to my rules. Looks like I won."

"Don't have to be so bleeding smug about it," muttered the purple globe.

The jungle dissolved away, leaving Stacy and the alien in the white, misty checkerboard room. "You have had your fun," growled the alien as it set Stacy down on the black and white tiles.

"Yeah," agreed Stacy with a sniff as she pushed wet hair out of her face. "He captured me. Can we go home now?"

"Do whatever you want," snapped the purple orb at the orange one. "It was your game after all." The purple globe floated off in a huff.

"Stupid git," the orange orb called after it. "You don't realize you can't have everything your way!" The orb turned to Stacy and the alien. "Dreadfully sorry about all this. But someone needed to be taught a lesson."

"At our expense?" asked Stacy in disbelief.

"This female was injured for your entertainment," said the alien. "Such is not a fair hunt. She is unwell and needs care."

"Yes, well, I guess it's time to return you two," said the orange globe.

"Will we remember all this?" asked Stacy, praying the answer would be no.

"I'm afraid so," returned the orange sphere. "We don't have the ability to change memories. Now, to return you two to where you belong. Close your eyes. It will be less disorienting."

Stacy complied. A few minutes later, she opened her eyes. She sighed in relief. Surrounding her once again was the mess that was her bedroom, minus the mist. "Thank God," she thought. "I'm home."

Ignoring the pain in her ankle, she limped to the kitchen, made herself a tray of food and ate ravenously. Then she picked up the telephone and dialed the automated substitute system. No way she'd be able to deal with the students after what she'd just been through. After making sure her class would be someone else's problem for the next two days, Stacy limped to her bathroom, stripped down, and showered. By the time she finished, she had almost managed to convince herself it had all been a bad dream. Perhaps she had hit her head when she twisted her ankle. All she wanted to do right now was sleep. Stacy dried herself and limped back to her bedroom. Her jaw dropped open.

"Um, hello again," said the purple orb as it hovered over her dresser. Its partner was nowhere to be seen. "You had mentioned something earlier about organizing your sock drawer. It sounded rather interesting. Oh, and that paper grading thing you talked about seemed incredibly fascinating. Could you show me how you do it?"