Fate/Stay Night Fan Fiction ❯ Escaping Fate ❯ Connection ( Chapter 18 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: Zekk_Skywalk 
What to do.
Anime/Manga: Fate/Stay Night Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Supernatural / Horror / Fantasy / Hentai / Drama / Action | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 09.29.2011 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.8K | Visits: 260 | Status: Completed
What to do.
Anime/Manga: Fate/Stay Night Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Supernatural / Horror / Fantasy / Hentai / Drama / Action | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 09.29.2011 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.8K | Visits: 260 | Status: Completed
AN: WARNING! Some shipping to occur depending on your choices. The third option remains romance-free.
The titles of the following chapters are for a specific reason. One of the things I like about FSN is that in the three different arcs, the way the romance is portrayed varies based on the heroine, and I feel that this is reflected in the climactic moments of their relationships. Shirou is held up by Saber after the first fight with Gilgamesh in Fate, showing how she’s the “strong one” of the relationship that he is ever trying to reach. Shirou and Rin sit back-to-back outside the church in UBW, signifying their partnership and shoulder-to-shoulder sort of equality. Shirou holds Sakura in HF when he decides to abandon his ideal and support her, showing how he’s the protector in that relationship.
By the way, in Japan, common law marriage is recognized, and Shirou has lived with both Rin and Sakura long enough…
Escaping Fate
Chapter 14
Connection
It made sense.
Setsuka Yuushi’s work had something to do with the transference of magical circuits. Normally, one could not do such a thing without extreme consequences—death usually—and the side effects would be severe even if it did work. Even in willing subjects, the movement of, say, one circuit from one person to another was a dangerous practice; Tohsaka had said it was one of the things she had considered when we were being pursued by Berserker. The thing was, circuits were a reflection of a person’s life force, their soul, and transplanting an entire set of circuits into another was like trying to shove two souls into one container.
“But he studied Souren Araya’s work,” Tohsaka muttered.
“What?” I asked.
Tohsaka wasn’t even looking at anyone, staring off in one direction vacantly. “A magus that died something like a decade ago. He was an expert on the study of the soul.”
I looked back to Yumi, who had fallen silent after her explanation. Though she still looked upset and nervous over what was going on with her, at the same time something about her had seemed to settle. I wasn’t sure if it was the absence of the feeling that had wished for the demon or if the entire situation had given her some kind of insight, but something in the way she just sat there, less stiff and tense than I had ever seen her had a sense of finality.
A demon born of wishes.
Wishes born by the thoughts of a collective.
A collective of lives still echoing within Yumi.
“It feels like people inside of me. Thoughts and feelings that aren’t my own are always there.” She had said it in a way that made it sound like she thought of herself less as a person and more like a hub, a computer network or a community hall.
It made sense.
Yumi’s magical circuits were irregular and more existed than should in the average person.
The magic circuit is tied to the soul.
“It’s like my magic. I feel…more inside of me. Additions. Things that don’t belong.”
Demons, according to Caren and Tohsaka, were born of human wishes. Generally, they came forth for humans to throw their suffering and anger onto, taking form in accordance to the beliefs humanity has of them—thus the monstrous appearance.
If Yumi really was full of the thoughts and feelings of others, of victims to Setsuka Yuushi’s experiments, and if they were all united in their desires…
A wish certainly could be born. And wishes were the source of powerful magic, true magic.
True horrors, too.
“What is it they wish for?” Caren asked.
Yumi looked up at me, then into her lap. “Salvation.”
“I’m not sure I understand,” I said. I glanced to Tohsaka and Sakura, but both were regarding me with expressions that somehow made the hairs on my arms stand straight: Tohsaka looked sad, while Sakura looked oddly determined. I think it was the expectation of a reversal there, because I was used to Sakura looking lonely and Tohsaka often wore an almost angry expression.
“Shirou,” Yumi said, her voice quieting, “the only time I feel like everything in me agrees on anything is when I’m looking at you. Whenever I think of…you saving someone. Saving me. Or saving the others at Yuushi-san’s place.”
The expression she gave me…
Then I’ll be at peace now.
Old man…I’m not sure I ever gave any thought to why you looked like that when you died until now. Maybe I’ve grown up a little since then…
“I thought as much,” Caren Ortensia interrupted my thoughts. “Demons, you see, are not evil beings. They may cause evil, but they themselves are not. They serve a purpose, one that humanity itself sees fit to bequeath upon them.” She sighed. “But they are also creatures that must be put down as fast as possible.”
I glanced at Tohsaka from the corner of my eye, but the witch was not looking my way and instead had finally settled on that almost-angry expression I had come to expect from her.
“What do you think it’s going to do now?” I asked.
Caren closed her eyes and put her hands up in a delicate open-handed-I-don’t-know pose. “I know only the ends, not the means. It will seek familiar ground, perhaps either attempting to attach to Yumi, or it may seek out another with similar pains, though I can think of none that currently live in this city beyond those already in this room.” She glanced at Sakura, then to me. “My estimation is it will eventually come after you, Shirou Emiya.”
I looked at Yumi, regarding me with a demure stare.
Salvation, huh?
I suppose…
Maybe I thought it was much further off than this, but, it is what I’ve been striving for. I can’t really complain. If my decision during the war was what I was going to live by…
I put my hand on Yumi’s head. “Yeah, well, I guess then I should take responsibility, huh?”
Caren gave a much put-upon sigh. “I will attempt to track it down before it comes seeking you out here, though. If it attaches to someone else like this, it most assuredly will prove fatal.” She frowned. “Though at this point, I have nothing in the way of ideas to look for it other than wandering aimlessly through town.”
At that, Tohsaka seemed to come to some kind of conclusion, and she glanced at the clock. It was settling on two in the morning. “Assuming the demon can find something to shape itself, how long do you think we have?”
“It was weaker after Emiya-san brandished that bizarre green sword at it,” Caren said. “I have a feeling that it will bide its time until next evening at the least. That was the impression I felt, anyway.”
“Then I’d suggest we all just, well, get some rest.” Tohsaka was glancing at everyone, though, and seemed to realize just how wired we were. Also, all things considered, I wasn’t sure any of us felt like sleeping while the sun was still down. The mood just felt a little too disturbing, like those shadow-creatures would just jump out at us the moment we turned off the lights. “Maybe we can all think better once we’ve had some rest.”
“Ortensia-san can stay here, if she wishes,” Sakura offered. “We have—”
I tried giving Sakura the cut-off motion, and once more failed. What was it with these girls?
“—many spare rooms. The church is so far and it is very late.”
Caren bowed. “Thank you for your hospitality.” She then gave me this look out of the corner of her eye, one that, even without a smile, was somehow smiling. Smiling in the way that I just felt was supposed to be menacing to me. Like a cat. In that way cats were indisputably in control even if we humans may call them the pet.
Maybe my wishes would bring the demon to me right now.
…Probably best not to wish for such things.
Tohsaka grabbed me by the arm and pulled me out into the hall as Sakura led Caren to one of the spare rooms. I glanced back into the living room to see Yumi turn the television back on. “What?”
“It isn’t just your responsibility,” Tohsaka said.
“Tell that to the demon.”
“Get rest, Shirou.”
I sighed. “I’ll try. But I should warn you, between the Aegis, what I did with Avalon, and the blades I made…I’m not even going to be up to full after a complete night’s rest. And everything is still sore from my circuit going haywire as normal.”
“I know.” She sighed. “I’ll try and figure something out. But regardless, we’re going to have to try and go on the offensive tomorrow. I’ve talked this over with Sakura, and while I don’t particularly like the idea of leaving them alone here, it is actually safer for Yumi if Sakura is here. Probably safer with Sakura than with me, in any case.”
“Because of the Matou magic.”
Tohsaka shrugged. “Something like that.* Anyway, just…try to rest. I’ll think of something.”
Rest did indeed come in fits.
It felt like being torn in multiple directions. My body was sore and ached from the damage I had put it through, and my od was at an all-time low. I wanted to just lay down and not move for days, while at the same time my frazzled nerves were too twitchy to relax. My mind kept running in circles, unable to settle, as thoughts from all sorts of directions seemed to assault me.
I might have gotten an hour by the time the pre-dawn chirping of birds started up. I gave up on that and decided to go and start planning on breakfast.
The lights were out, but the television was still on when I came into the living room. In front of it, Yumi had apparently fallen asleep watching; she was curled up next to the table in a most uncomfortable-looking position, and I had to smile.
Fuji-nee often slept that way when she fell asleep in front of the tv.
So, it seems one of her bad habits finally rubbed off on Yumi.
Hopefully the girl’s spine wouldn’t be thrown right out of alignment.
When I made my way over to her, Yumi stirred in her sleep, then hurriedly glanced my way, shooting up to a sitting position in the process. Her nerves were probably just as edgy from everything and she had probably not even realized she had fallen asleep. “Hey,” I said. “You should really go to your room to get rest.”
The girl blinked up at me, then hazily back to the television. Considering the early hour, it was nothing more than an infomercial though. “It’s still early,” she said, as if confused.
“Yes.”
“Are you leaving?”
The way she said that made me frown. Yumi was fifteen, though everything she said either made me think she sounded like a cynical adult or a frightened child with no in-between space. “We haven’t decided what exactly to do just yet. I was just going to look at what we had and maybe start breakfast.”
She gave a non-committal mumble.
I sat down next to her and put my arm around her shoulders. “Stop worrying about this and leave that to the rest of us. This isn’t your fault by a long shot, and we’re more primed to tackle it than you probably think.”
Well, primed, yes. Capable, on the other hand…well, not that I’d worry her by saying that.
Yumi nodded slowly. “I know.” She sighed. “I just wish I could do more about it.”
I smiled down at her. “I wish I could do more about it too. If wishes were coins, I’m pretty sure I’d be a shrine prayer box**.”
Yumi withdrew from the hug, glancing back to the silent interior of the house. “I guess…maybe I’ll watch some television and wish harder myself. I don’t want to go to sleep again until I know what’s going on, at least.”
“Just so long as it doesn’t rot your brain first.”
When the girl turned back to the television and started flipping channels, I got up to check the kitchen. Sakura had cleaned from the quick meal she had prepared when we returned last night, and a glance into the refrigerator said I would need to go grocery shopping for anything more than rice and soup for breakfast. Unfortunately, even if the market were open at this hour, it was probably not a wise decision to leave the house until we had gone over all the possibilities for another attack and what everyone was going to do.
I glanced back down the hall toward the bedrooms, then over to the guest house. We were a strange family, with Yumi’s “sister” next door to my bedroom and her “mother” in a separate part of the house altogether from the “father.” A whimsical thought came to mind, and I wondered what it would be like if Illya and Saber were here, giving the “father” a younger-yet-older-sister and a second wife. Or something.
Sakura had taken Caren to find a room, though I didn’t see Caren anywhere about now—whether that was a good thing or bad thing was lost to me—so I wondered if she had actually gone to sleep. A quick glance out toward the guest house suggested that Tohsaka was still awake, as light came from the windows. Even if she were exhausted, Sakura was way too disciplined and, assuming she went to sleep, would be waking soon to try and beat me to the kitchen.
We were a strange family indeed.
Considering all that happened, it was amazing we weren’t around the table either gathering our bearings or just huddled together for comfort.
Tackle a beast that wants “salvation” from me. While I’m not even sure I’m capable of doing anything about it.
I…
1.Should go over plans with Tohsaka. (Proceed to “Back to Back”)
2.Need to make sure Sakura is going to be fine. (Proceed to “Embracing You”)
3.Guess Caren really should be consulted. (Proceed to “Ortensia Bloom”)
*Sakura’s sorcery trait is described as “imaginary numbers” and that she is specifically effective against spiritual beings. Meanwhile, the Matou magic is implied to be something like absorption and binding. I’ve always taken it that the Matou aspect, which Sakura is trained in but not particularly good at is more the methodology and execution, whereas the actual ability with spiritual beings is something she’s extremely good with.
**Shinto shrines are common places to go during festivals, holidays, or even just to make a wish for better grades or romantic prospects. Like a more serious wishing well or fountain, a person goes to such a location, tosses a coin into a box, rings a bell, and prays.
Converting /tmp/phpTF0FKG to /dev/stdout
The titles of the following chapters are for a specific reason. One of the things I like about FSN is that in the three different arcs, the way the romance is portrayed varies based on the heroine, and I feel that this is reflected in the climactic moments of their relationships. Shirou is held up by Saber after the first fight with Gilgamesh in Fate, showing how she’s the “strong one” of the relationship that he is ever trying to reach. Shirou and Rin sit back-to-back outside the church in UBW, signifying their partnership and shoulder-to-shoulder sort of equality. Shirou holds Sakura in HF when he decides to abandon his ideal and support her, showing how he’s the protector in that relationship.
By the way, in Japan, common law marriage is recognized, and Shirou has lived with both Rin and Sakura long enough…
Escaping Fate
Chapter 14
Connection
It made sense.
Setsuka Yuushi’s work had something to do with the transference of magical circuits. Normally, one could not do such a thing without extreme consequences—death usually—and the side effects would be severe even if it did work. Even in willing subjects, the movement of, say, one circuit from one person to another was a dangerous practice; Tohsaka had said it was one of the things she had considered when we were being pursued by Berserker. The thing was, circuits were a reflection of a person’s life force, their soul, and transplanting an entire set of circuits into another was like trying to shove two souls into one container.
“But he studied Souren Araya’s work,” Tohsaka muttered.
“What?” I asked.
Tohsaka wasn’t even looking at anyone, staring off in one direction vacantly. “A magus that died something like a decade ago. He was an expert on the study of the soul.”
I looked back to Yumi, who had fallen silent after her explanation. Though she still looked upset and nervous over what was going on with her, at the same time something about her had seemed to settle. I wasn’t sure if it was the absence of the feeling that had wished for the demon or if the entire situation had given her some kind of insight, but something in the way she just sat there, less stiff and tense than I had ever seen her had a sense of finality.
A demon born of wishes.
Wishes born by the thoughts of a collective.
A collective of lives still echoing within Yumi.
“It feels like people inside of me. Thoughts and feelings that aren’t my own are always there.” She had said it in a way that made it sound like she thought of herself less as a person and more like a hub, a computer network or a community hall.
It made sense.
Yumi’s magical circuits were irregular and more existed than should in the average person.
The magic circuit is tied to the soul.
“It’s like my magic. I feel…more inside of me. Additions. Things that don’t belong.”
Demons, according to Caren and Tohsaka, were born of human wishes. Generally, they came forth for humans to throw their suffering and anger onto, taking form in accordance to the beliefs humanity has of them—thus the monstrous appearance.
If Yumi really was full of the thoughts and feelings of others, of victims to Setsuka Yuushi’s experiments, and if they were all united in their desires…
A wish certainly could be born. And wishes were the source of powerful magic, true magic.
True horrors, too.
“What is it they wish for?” Caren asked.
Yumi looked up at me, then into her lap. “Salvation.”
“I’m not sure I understand,” I said. I glanced to Tohsaka and Sakura, but both were regarding me with expressions that somehow made the hairs on my arms stand straight: Tohsaka looked sad, while Sakura looked oddly determined. I think it was the expectation of a reversal there, because I was used to Sakura looking lonely and Tohsaka often wore an almost angry expression.
“Shirou,” Yumi said, her voice quieting, “the only time I feel like everything in me agrees on anything is when I’m looking at you. Whenever I think of…you saving someone. Saving me. Or saving the others at Yuushi-san’s place.”
The expression she gave me…
Then I’ll be at peace now.
Old man…I’m not sure I ever gave any thought to why you looked like that when you died until now. Maybe I’ve grown up a little since then…
“I thought as much,” Caren Ortensia interrupted my thoughts. “Demons, you see, are not evil beings. They may cause evil, but they themselves are not. They serve a purpose, one that humanity itself sees fit to bequeath upon them.” She sighed. “But they are also creatures that must be put down as fast as possible.”
I glanced at Tohsaka from the corner of my eye, but the witch was not looking my way and instead had finally settled on that almost-angry expression I had come to expect from her.
“What do you think it’s going to do now?” I asked.
Caren closed her eyes and put her hands up in a delicate open-handed-I-don’t-know pose. “I know only the ends, not the means. It will seek familiar ground, perhaps either attempting to attach to Yumi, or it may seek out another with similar pains, though I can think of none that currently live in this city beyond those already in this room.” She glanced at Sakura, then to me. “My estimation is it will eventually come after you, Shirou Emiya.”
I looked at Yumi, regarding me with a demure stare.
Salvation, huh?
I suppose…
Maybe I thought it was much further off than this, but, it is what I’ve been striving for. I can’t really complain. If my decision during the war was what I was going to live by…
I put my hand on Yumi’s head. “Yeah, well, I guess then I should take responsibility, huh?”
Caren gave a much put-upon sigh. “I will attempt to track it down before it comes seeking you out here, though. If it attaches to someone else like this, it most assuredly will prove fatal.” She frowned. “Though at this point, I have nothing in the way of ideas to look for it other than wandering aimlessly through town.”
At that, Tohsaka seemed to come to some kind of conclusion, and she glanced at the clock. It was settling on two in the morning. “Assuming the demon can find something to shape itself, how long do you think we have?”
“It was weaker after Emiya-san brandished that bizarre green sword at it,” Caren said. “I have a feeling that it will bide its time until next evening at the least. That was the impression I felt, anyway.”
“Then I’d suggest we all just, well, get some rest.” Tohsaka was glancing at everyone, though, and seemed to realize just how wired we were. Also, all things considered, I wasn’t sure any of us felt like sleeping while the sun was still down. The mood just felt a little too disturbing, like those shadow-creatures would just jump out at us the moment we turned off the lights. “Maybe we can all think better once we’ve had some rest.”
“Ortensia-san can stay here, if she wishes,” Sakura offered. “We have—”
I tried giving Sakura the cut-off motion, and once more failed. What was it with these girls?
“—many spare rooms. The church is so far and it is very late.”
Caren bowed. “Thank you for your hospitality.” She then gave me this look out of the corner of her eye, one that, even without a smile, was somehow smiling. Smiling in the way that I just felt was supposed to be menacing to me. Like a cat. In that way cats were indisputably in control even if we humans may call them the pet.
Maybe my wishes would bring the demon to me right now.
…Probably best not to wish for such things.
Tohsaka grabbed me by the arm and pulled me out into the hall as Sakura led Caren to one of the spare rooms. I glanced back into the living room to see Yumi turn the television back on. “What?”
“It isn’t just your responsibility,” Tohsaka said.
“Tell that to the demon.”
“Get rest, Shirou.”
I sighed. “I’ll try. But I should warn you, between the Aegis, what I did with Avalon, and the blades I made…I’m not even going to be up to full after a complete night’s rest. And everything is still sore from my circuit going haywire as normal.”
“I know.” She sighed. “I’ll try and figure something out. But regardless, we’re going to have to try and go on the offensive tomorrow. I’ve talked this over with Sakura, and while I don’t particularly like the idea of leaving them alone here, it is actually safer for Yumi if Sakura is here. Probably safer with Sakura than with me, in any case.”
“Because of the Matou magic.”
Tohsaka shrugged. “Something like that.* Anyway, just…try to rest. I’ll think of something.”
Rest did indeed come in fits.
It felt like being torn in multiple directions. My body was sore and ached from the damage I had put it through, and my od was at an all-time low. I wanted to just lay down and not move for days, while at the same time my frazzled nerves were too twitchy to relax. My mind kept running in circles, unable to settle, as thoughts from all sorts of directions seemed to assault me.
I might have gotten an hour by the time the pre-dawn chirping of birds started up. I gave up on that and decided to go and start planning on breakfast.
The lights were out, but the television was still on when I came into the living room. In front of it, Yumi had apparently fallen asleep watching; she was curled up next to the table in a most uncomfortable-looking position, and I had to smile.
Fuji-nee often slept that way when she fell asleep in front of the tv.
So, it seems one of her bad habits finally rubbed off on Yumi.
Hopefully the girl’s spine wouldn’t be thrown right out of alignment.
When I made my way over to her, Yumi stirred in her sleep, then hurriedly glanced my way, shooting up to a sitting position in the process. Her nerves were probably just as edgy from everything and she had probably not even realized she had fallen asleep. “Hey,” I said. “You should really go to your room to get rest.”
The girl blinked up at me, then hazily back to the television. Considering the early hour, it was nothing more than an infomercial though. “It’s still early,” she said, as if confused.
“Yes.”
“Are you leaving?”
The way she said that made me frown. Yumi was fifteen, though everything she said either made me think she sounded like a cynical adult or a frightened child with no in-between space. “We haven’t decided what exactly to do just yet. I was just going to look at what we had and maybe start breakfast.”
She gave a non-committal mumble.
I sat down next to her and put my arm around her shoulders. “Stop worrying about this and leave that to the rest of us. This isn’t your fault by a long shot, and we’re more primed to tackle it than you probably think.”
Well, primed, yes. Capable, on the other hand…well, not that I’d worry her by saying that.
Yumi nodded slowly. “I know.” She sighed. “I just wish I could do more about it.”
I smiled down at her. “I wish I could do more about it too. If wishes were coins, I’m pretty sure I’d be a shrine prayer box**.”
Yumi withdrew from the hug, glancing back to the silent interior of the house. “I guess…maybe I’ll watch some television and wish harder myself. I don’t want to go to sleep again until I know what’s going on, at least.”
“Just so long as it doesn’t rot your brain first.”
When the girl turned back to the television and started flipping channels, I got up to check the kitchen. Sakura had cleaned from the quick meal she had prepared when we returned last night, and a glance into the refrigerator said I would need to go grocery shopping for anything more than rice and soup for breakfast. Unfortunately, even if the market were open at this hour, it was probably not a wise decision to leave the house until we had gone over all the possibilities for another attack and what everyone was going to do.
I glanced back down the hall toward the bedrooms, then over to the guest house. We were a strange family, with Yumi’s “sister” next door to my bedroom and her “mother” in a separate part of the house altogether from the “father.” A whimsical thought came to mind, and I wondered what it would be like if Illya and Saber were here, giving the “father” a younger-yet-older-sister and a second wife. Or something.
Sakura had taken Caren to find a room, though I didn’t see Caren anywhere about now—whether that was a good thing or bad thing was lost to me—so I wondered if she had actually gone to sleep. A quick glance out toward the guest house suggested that Tohsaka was still awake, as light came from the windows. Even if she were exhausted, Sakura was way too disciplined and, assuming she went to sleep, would be waking soon to try and beat me to the kitchen.
We were a strange family indeed.
Considering all that happened, it was amazing we weren’t around the table either gathering our bearings or just huddled together for comfort.
Tackle a beast that wants “salvation” from me. While I’m not even sure I’m capable of doing anything about it.
I…
1.Should go over plans with Tohsaka. (Proceed to “Back to Back”)
2.Need to make sure Sakura is going to be fine. (Proceed to “Embracing You”)
3.Guess Caren really should be consulted. (Proceed to “Ortensia Bloom”)
*Sakura’s sorcery trait is described as “imaginary numbers” and that she is specifically effective against spiritual beings. Meanwhile, the Matou magic is implied to be something like absorption and binding. I’ve always taken it that the Matou aspect, which Sakura is trained in but not particularly good at is more the methodology and execution, whereas the actual ability with spiritual beings is something she’s extremely good with.
**Shinto shrines are common places to go during festivals, holidays, or even just to make a wish for better grades or romantic prospects. Like a more serious wishing well or fountain, a person goes to such a location, tosses a coin into a box, rings a bell, and prays.
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