Fate/Stay Night Fan Fiction ❯ Fate - Season's Road ❯ Chapter 9 ( Chapter 9 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

By: Jyoohan

Fate-Season's Road

“Autumn Project”

By Jyoohan

Original Creators

Type-Moon

~*~*~

Chapter 9 - The Love of Ri—

“Hold it right there!” Rin barked, breaking into the author's room. “To think you would mess with me even before starting the chapter, do you have a death wish?”

“Ah… maybe… tee-hee.” The Author laughed nervously.

“You (censored) sick bastard, what the hell are you planning? Whatever it is, the world has no need of it. In fact, it'd be in my—I mean everyone's best interest to kill you right now.” Rin said while readying a curse.

“Oh come on, I bet there's someone out there that could do worse.” The Author began to sweat, his very life on the line.

“Really, like what?”

“I do believe I read one where you were given dancing lessons and something about milk. Oh… milk does have an adverse effect on the imagination if you think abou—aaah—that hurts!”

“You Sicko! You can do whatever you want with Saber but messing with me will be the worst mistake you have ever made in your life.” Rin was seething with anger.

“Though I love your `tsundere' qualities, the pain that comes with it is a hard bargain.” Rin slapped the Author across the face. “Okay, maybe talking about anime terms wasn't a good idea.”

“Rin, it's unsightly for you to behave in such a way.” Archer appears from nowhere.

“You… bastard!” The Author points, “Do you know how much I want to be in your shoes right now you (censored) sheep-headed freak!” Archer tilts his head with a `huh?' expression. “I'd kill to be you right now… or be Shiro in the `unlimited blade works' scenario.”

Rin delivered a nasty reverse elbow to the back of the Author's head and said, “Don't bring up the H-game, moron! Don't you know there are kids out there who play those kinds of things when they shouldn't?”

“Yes… there are many guilty little ones out there. I was once—urk!”

“I don't need to know that!” Rin smashed her heel into the Author's face.

“What's going on?” Fuji-nee cried, and the rest of the Fate cast comes into the Author's bedroom and honors the room with their presence… though Berserker had to stay outside in the parking lot… in 31 degrees Fahrenheit cold… poor Berserker.

“I think what Rin's trying to do is get the author to change the title so she can keep some of her dignity.” Archer said coolly. Everyone clapped their hands to his excellent solution.

“No! I will not have it!” The Author slurred with Rin's foot still on his face—oh god, the feel of her thigh high socks. “The chapter title will be `The love of Ri—aaargh!'”

The Fate cast cringed from the inhumane pain inflicted upon the Author.

“Don't… even… say it!” Rin huffed and puffed.

Just as things were heating up, the Editor burst in with her `XD', “Hey, I got your file for chapter 11. I'll get on it as soon as—.” Her jaws drop when her eyes were fixated upon Archer's cool figure. Internet slang of `OMG', `LOL', and so on ensued.

With a bandaged up head, superfluously hiding the author's true identity, the author returned to the main argument, “I will make it: “The love of Ri—(BLEEP!).” Rin sounded a signal horn to `bleep' out the last part, again.

The Fate cast was in a dire situation with the Author's stubbornness. The story could not progress without a feasible change that both Rin and the Author could agree upon.

“How about the Affection of Tosa—.”

“No…” Rin interrupted with a somber tone.

“The Fondness of—”

“Shut up.”

“The Attachment o—”

“Get out.”

“The Connection—”

“Go to hell.”

The deliberation was not faring well.

“Aw, come on, do you want a boring title like: The leaves change and fall. I want something spicier… like… why are all of you looking at me like that?” The author began to have a very bad feeling. “Oh no, this is my story. I will not have a stupid chapter title like that. Editor!”

“I kind of like it!” The editor spouted, followed by a `doh' from the Author.

The Fate cast had to go on an adventure to capture the Author with Rin as the party leader, but that would be pointless to write because it'd take too long. So to sum it up, the Author was captured, bound to his chair, and a very special person manipulated him.

“Hello Ilya, you know I think you're the best pubescent little girl I've ever seen right? Moe?” The Author tried not to make eye contact with the Albino girl.

“Make him look into your eyes.” Rin ordered.

“NO! That's cheating you dirty—argh!” Ilya pulled the author's face, hypnotizing him with her mystic eyes. “NO-NO-NO! Why—y—ha-ha-hai—y?!” The Author cried, painfully wrote up the chapter title, and continued with the story after a lot of unnecessary nonsense.

Chapter 9 - The Leaves Change and Fall

I have no motivation. (Slap) Okay, moving on…

Autumn, the sign of change everyone knows. The breeze bringing a slight chill, warning that winter is just around the corner.

The once green leaves had begun turning, the burgeoning landscape now a canvas of red and gold plumes. And in that canvas, a small spot of white and blue stood out. A girl was there, a blonde girl. She poked at the smoldering embers, waiting patiently like she was told.

“What the hell?” Rin suddenly charges into the scene. “I thought I was supposed to be the main figure from now on.”

Rin is the central figure in this story.

“Stop talking in third person!”

If Rin would be patient, the transition from summer to autumn would have gone without a hitch.

Ignoring the annoyingly charming `tsundere' girl, “Don't make me (Rin draws a line across her neck).” The air wafted with a tasty scent. Its enticing aroma tickled their noses.

“Sweet potatoes!” Rin exclaimed.

“They're just about ready, just like Shiro taught me.” Saber said, sticking to the script unlike a certain someone.

“Drop it.” Rin scowled.

“But if I drop it, the sweet potatoes would be wasted.” Saber said shocked.

“No, not the… ooh!” Rin shuddered, frustrated… yes… be frustrated. “I swear to god, one more lip from you and I'll…” Rin left the sentence open.

Taking the offered snack, Rin and Saber munched with satisfaction. Saber had prepared a dozen and baked each and every one with tender loving care. One after another one, the delicious treat was devoured by the pair; however, there is a thing called `too much of a good thing'.

Those sweet potatoes are jam packed with calories and carbs, things that would surely cause unsightly bulges to appear in places most noticeable on any girl, especially in Rin's figure.

“Just let it go Rin. He's still sore about the title fiasco.” Saber tried to calm Rin down.

But there is a beaming glimmer of light, a rainbow of hope for those plagued by the autumn hunger fest, otherwise known as `Thanksgiving' on this side of the hemisphere. It's hot. It's steamy. Not many people on the North American continent have ever experienced it: the Eden of bliss, the hot spring.

“Hot spring, is it free?” Rin wondered aloud.

Just beyond the tattered trail, there was a large mansion clearly poking out from the mountain side. Hot steam was perforating from the back.

“You know, a Japanese bath is great and all, but a hot spring has a certain `thing' about it that's… unique. I heard it does wonders for the skin.” Rin opined.

The mansion was built as a lover's getaway.

“What?!”

Each room is designed to hold two occupants, preferably of the opposite genders.

“Oh… my… god…”

There are certain `tools' at the users'—

“Stop right there! There is going to be none of that here.”

And so the rooms were already assigned. Rin and Archer are obviously paired together (evil laugh). Shiro and Saber is another given. There are others but let's leave the rest as a surprise; otherwise, it won't be as fun if the readers can predict some of it.

However, everything doesn't go as planned, for an intruder lurks in the shadows. The man has absolute no tact. He thinks nothing but himself, a narcist he is. You know the man in the gold armor, Gilgamesh. (The author attempted previously to make it sound like a soccer, excuse me France, Italy, Spain, and Mexico—I mean futbol, announcer, but it would have been some weird looking text)

“This is madness. How is it possible that everyone except I was invited to this dream-like escape? Madness I say. Before I purge the fool responsible, I must find a way past these blasted doors.” Gilgamesh hummed, staring at the tall gate impeding his path.

Whipping out Ea, he cried, “Enuma Elish!” Crimson scores of energy blasted the aged fortification. The very fabric of time and space was torn asunder. As the blinding barrage dimmed, the tall gate was still standing without a scratch.

“This can't be!” Gilgamesh stomped his feet. “Nothing and I mean nothing can withstand my Ea! What is going on here?” Suddenly words began to write itself on the wooden doors.

This area has been strictly set up so that tier 4 based mana invocation and above cannot be used on the premises. Forgive us for any inconveniences, thank you.

“Curses!” Gilgamesh slammed his foot on the door but regretted it the second later.

The King of Heroes failed to notice a tag labeled: Pull.

Rin gasped with delight. The interior was lavishly designed with Western and Eastern art pieces, each complimenting the other. The tour guide explained a little history lesson if each piece and some famous person that had stopped by long ago.

Archer walked indigenously close by, keeping a vigilant guard over his master's safety.

“Oh my, what a tall, handsome man you've found yourself.” Archer blinked, wondering if the attendant was talking about him. “I take it you're newly weds?” The attendant asked nosily.

Rin tried to form her sentence. “No, no… we're just…”

“I thought it would be nice to relax in a remote place. Isn't that right honey?” Archer flashes a smile before a knee connected to his face.

(Take 2)

“I take it you're newly weds?” The attendant asked nosily.

“No, we're just friends.” Rin corrected.

“I don't believe in marriage.” Archer grunted before he was reduced to a charred form after being shot by a powerful `Gand'.

(Take 7)

“I take it you're, uh… n-newly weds?” The attendant stuttered.

Rin said flat out. “No.”

“Our relationship cannot be understood by normal reasoning. It's hard, but we're very close. Isn't that right, Rin?”

Rin stared at Archer for a second before she walked off the set.

(Take 19)

“You are… newly… weds?” The attendant looked very nervous.

Rin replied frankly. “No, he's my Servant.”

“Master … why do I have to suddenly call you master?” Archer complained.

“Master and Servant… I didn't think you two were into that kind of `thing'.” The attendant said and winced when Archer was again abused by Rin's Gand.

(Take 56)

“So what's the reason for your stay?” The attendant finally wised up and changed the question.

“Just a vacation, nothing more.” Rin said, exhausted from all the `takes'.

“Would you be so kind to show us to our rooms please?” Archer helped a tottering Rin.

The attendant fiddled with her key ring before she opened the door labeled: Sienna Suite. Inside, there were rose petals scattered all over the floor. An oval bed draped in layers of silk screen. The room gave off tenors of desire.

The attendant whispered, “Please enjoy your stay.” and ran off, afraid to see their delayed reactions.

(The attendant will forever remain nameless for her safety.)

“Curse whoever made that label. Could he not have made it bigger so somebody such as I could recognize it earlier?” Gilgamesh griped. “No matter, I have made it to this den of longing. My prize is within my grasp at last.”

“May I have your name and reservation number?” A clerk asked politely.

“Gilgamesh, King of Heroes! I have no reservation number!”

“Oh, I'm sorry, sir. Our establishment will not admit any guests unless they come paired with their lovers. That's how things work here.”

“Money is not an issue. I'm sure you can't name a price that I can't handle.” Gilgamesh pulled a checkbook out.

“Sir, it's the founding tradition of this establishment. I'm sorry but you'll just have to return when you have a friend to be admitted with. Gender is not an issue; we've had many of those.”

“Uh… in case you have the wrong suggestion, I am not gay, and I never have been gay. Yes, I'm a man in love, in love with a King!” Gilgamesh exclaimed, not realizing his own (multiple) error in words.

“Right… but the fact remains, I cannot admit you until you have a friend, sir.”

Gilgamesh grumbled. Something so miniscule would not bar his path. He had to find some way to get in. An azure haired beauty passed him by.

“What? Release me! What are you doing?” Gilgamesh dragged the helpless woman, who cried for help.

“This is my partner. May I enter this sanctum now?”

The clerk questioned whether Gilgamesh's partner was real or not. The azure beauty cried out for her `darling'. A tall, sharp man challenged Gilgamesh. The tall man's square glasses hid a pair of steely eyes.

“Soichiro-sama!” The azure beauty cried, embracing her one and only love.

“Are you hurt, Medea?” Soichiro said with his unbreakable monotone voice.

“No,” Medea replied, “but this vulgar man stole me away from you. I was so scared. I have no way to defend myself while in this place.”

Medea, a powerful sorceress, is rendered almost powerless within the boundaries of this mysterious estate, but that goes for the King of Heroes as well.

“Stole? I don't have to belittle myself to such a role.” Gilgamesh boasted. “All women belong to me! Therefore, there's no need for me to steal a woman. Their bodies and souls are already in my possession.” Gilgamesh laughed hysterically.

Soichiro stood rigidly. A vicious aura emanated from his posture. “You lay a finger on her, and I will not hesitate to kill you.” He said monotonously.

Gilgamesh laughed at his opponent, still forgetting something very important. With a cry, he summoned the Gates of Babylon, but nothing came. He finally realized that his offensive capability is next to none without his innumerable weapons at his disposal.

Barraged by a flurry of fists, Gilgamesh was beaten to a pulp. Soichiro was cheered on by his `honey', crying to give the King of Heroes his just desserts.

The unconscious Gilgamesh was left on the atrium floor. The loving couple checked in for a very memorable night. The clerk gave best wishes to the loving pair.

“We plan to make lots of memories, right darling?” Medea purred, and Soichiro hummed affirmatively.

Just as the tender couple left, a trio of new guests arrived. “So this is the place those little deviants ran off to?” Fujimura-sensei cried, looking quite exhausted. Sakura and Issei brought up the rear, panting heavily. They never thought this place would be so far back off the beaten path. Their sensei got lost even but somehow managed to find the place, thanks to strategically placed signs.

Sakura and Issei followed their sensei, as she maneuvered around the estate. The clerk stopped them from proceeding any further, explaining the rules she had just explained to Gilgamesh earlier.

“What?! Those little brats… when I get my hands on those, oh, I'm going to.” Fujimura-sensei roared, imagining all the cruel punishment that would await those devious, little brats. To think they would run away to such an exotic resort without adult supervision, what were they thinking?

“So, if I understand correctly, we must be checked in as pairs?” Sakura said. With a nod, the attendant displayed the registry of every checked in guest. “Then this should not be a problem, right?” Sakura wrote her name and Issei's next to hers.

“S-Sakura-san?” Issei blushed.

“This should be fine, right Ryudo-kun?” Issei nodded his head like a puppy to Sakura's soft spoken words. His imagination was running wild for the moment before he calmed himself down. “Yes, with this, I'll be sure to steal senpai away from that nasty Saber.” From under her collar, dark tendrils crept up along Sakura's neck.

Before Fujimura-sensei could stop the wayward pair, Sakura, while forcibly dragging Issei, dashed through the halls. She was just about to follow, but the attendant effectively barred her path. It seems the resort staff had plenty of experience to stop Fujimura-sensei.

She had to find a way in. There's no telling what mistakes those young munchkins could make. The bitter taste of regret after committing a sin, no! She must stop it at all cost. As a sensei, The Tiger will not falter.

“Ugh… my head.” Gilgamesh groaned.

Glaring hawk eyes, Fujimura-sensei pounced upon the beaten body and brought it to the front desk. “Would this `thing' count?” She held the King of Heroes like a dead animal, by its feet.

“Uh, please enter your names.”

The names Taiga Fujimura and `Lemon-head' were signed into the hotel registry. With that issue settled, the sensei dragged Gilgamesh to her room. The King of Heroes' head was banged against a couple of things on the way.

The moment the characters of Fate were waiting for, finally enjoying the fruits of Japan's exotic hotspot. They dipped their naked bodies into the hot tub of bliss, sighing with mixed twinges of pain and pleasure. The author is steaming with jealousy at the fact he could not enjoy a hot spring experience.

“This is heaven.” Rin sighed with a gooey-happy face.

“I agree. It feels like all is right in the world.” Saber sighed.

This is just one of the many different spots of hot springs available to this exquisite resort. The area they are currently in had been specially dubbed the `Bamboo Forest'. No prying eyes can see past the thick conduits of bamboo reaching for the sky.

Enjoying their state of perpetual bliss, Saber and Rin failed to notice someone coming through the entryway or the ripple of water. Their figures were obscured by the thick steamy goodness permeated by the hot spring.

A divine wind blew, cutting the fog like a knife. Using melodramatic camera angles, Saber and Rin caught the figures of Sakura and Rider a little to their left. There was an uncomfortable pause until Sakura spoke up.

“Hello, sister.” Sakura gave a fleeting wave.

They laughed nervously, wondering what to talk about.

“Rider, I was not informed that you would make an appearance in this, um, chapter.” Saber said. “How was it to be in your very own chapter?” There was a double meaning in the blonde Servant's word.

“Well, it was an interesting experience, yet I believe I would rather lower myself to a more humble role.” Rider muttered, wishing to never experience such a horrendous trial like she had. (Refer to Chapter 8) But there was one thing that she did find… a little bit enjoyable at the end. The dinner was nice to say the most.

Rin giggled and said, “So if you two are here, then there must be a special someone you came with.” Sakura and Rider both flinched. “I can always find out who Sakura came with later, but what interests me the most is who Rider came together with.” Rider averted her eyes to avoid Rin's prying ones.

Rider's eyes turned to her master, she immediately claimed Sakura as her partner. Sakura looked clueless to Rider's charade, not convincing Rin one bit. Rider could not say who that person is. She was still insecure whether that man really is a soul mate, her trust couldn't be given away so easily after a difficult past.

The bamboo reeds shuddered. The girls ducked their naked bodies underwater with a shriek. Rin called out if someone was there with a jittery voice. No one answered, and the reeds shuddered again, a growl coming from the other side.

The ladies pulled out their weapons. Their bodies wrapped under a towel, they cautiously moved closer to the area of the disturbance. Rin waved her head, asking Rider to check the bushes with her dagger.

Rider objected, but everyone pushed her forward. She nervously poked her weapon into the thicket and pushed them aside. Another grunt, it growled menacingly. Rider jumped away with a scream, losing her towel in the process.

“Hail the (censored) ancestors of yore; they're the size of melons!” A voice yelled after whistling a cat call.

Rider submerged herself, the thought of someone seeing her naked body making her body boil hotter than the hot spring.

Aiming towards the mysterious voices origin, Rin let loose a barrage of her Gand, kicking up dirt and leaves. The intruder cried in pain and ordered to stop their attack. As the debris cleared, Lancer lazily picked himself up, rubbing his tender spots.

“Don't tell me you came with this beast, Rider?” Rin opined.

“Whoa-whoa, I come in peace, damn it!” Lancer waved his hand nervously as the girls tried desperately to stop Rin from using three of her best jewels that would surely maim Lancer if not disintegrate him.

“Don't look!” Rider's glasses slipped off. At that very moment, she made eye contact with Lancer. In seconds, Lancer's feet were starting to become… brittle.

“No, stop! Look somewhere else with those dangerous eyebeams!” Lancer screamed. Rider looked away, and the ladies around her ducked and ran for cover so they wouldn't want to be turned into a living sculpture gallery. “Over there, look over there!” Lancer pointed to a patch of red in the Bamboo shrubs.

Rider turned her cursed gaze and got immediate results. Another voice yelped as it toppled over in the shrubbery. Rin twitched, fully recognizing the person's voice.

Making sure her towel was tightly wrapped, Rin charged her Gand as much as the anti-mana restriction would let her. Savoring every step, Rin brushed back the shrubs. Archer lied on the floor, his feet paralyzed.

“I knew it was your voice I heard. Do you have any last words?” The Gand's energy cackled with black electricity.

“Rin this is a complete misunderstanding. I was trying to stop that pervert from peeping on you!” Archer saved himself and stopped Rin from releasing her unchecked fury. “I'm sorry Rin. I was only trying to protect you, but I was afraid you might take this in the wrong way. Who would believe a man, right?” Archer hung his head low.

“R-really? You're not putting me through a sympathy trip right?” Rin blushed.

“Yeah, the hell he is!” Lancer yelled and got shot in the head by Rin's Gand.

With humph, Rin examined Archer's paralyzed feet. “Can you stand?” Rin helped her Servant back to his feet. With a curt thank you, Archer gave his usual smirk. Rin returned her own cute smile but then noticed something a little strange.

The leaves… leaves were passing through his body. She couldn't have missed it since a leaf the size of her hand passed through his face. His body was ethereal; meaning others unless they were Servants wouldn't see him.

“Um, sister, who are you talking to?” asked Sakura.

Having been found out, Archer backed away in fear. Rin went with the worst case scenario: the bastard was trying to peep on her.

“Scum.” Rin muttered.

Archer didn't have time to react before Rin's Gand exploded in his face.

With a satisfying humph, Rin exited the bath. It would be the last time she would put even an ounce of trust into that white feathered brain of a Servant. To think he had a shred of decency, what a fool she was.

She'd be sure to give him a beating worth a lifetime. Her Servant committing such an act reflects shame upon her. Oh the things she would have to think up to punish that Servant.

Slipping into a Yukata, a slip of paper fell out of Rin's sleeve. It looked like an invitation.

Come to room 1408, signed Medea.

Medea as in Caster? What would she want? Rin couldn't think of an ulterior motive. For one, caster really can't do anything harmful while staying here. What could that Servant be up to?

No choice but to see what Caster wanted. Knowing her, it's probably something sadistic. Like binding men with ropes and leather straps, that seems something remotely possible.

“Were you thinking ill of me?” Caster said, snapping Rin out of her thoughts.

“W-what makes you think that?” Rin laughed, forgetting Caster had `other' abilities amongst her arsenal of spells and witchcraft.

“That's too bad, because I really wanted to share this book with everyone.”

Rin glanced at the cover and did a double take to read the title, Wrapped around you finger: The perfect guide to tame and manipulate that significant other, printed with all tackiness. She asked Caster if this was a joke, but Caster's face held no joking expression, she was dead serious.

Entering Caster's lair, other female members were invited as well. Saber, Sakura, Rider, Ilya, and even Fujimura-sensei was present and accounted for to everyone's surprise.

“Would someone please explain what's going on here?” Fujimura-sensei cried out, not knowing what perversities awaited them.

“I'm sorry for calling everyone here, but I really wanted to share this with everyone since it helped me so much.” Caster said and shrieked suddenly, blushing and swaying infatuatedly. “Forgive me, I couldn't contain myself. Ahem, this book here can solve all your problems.”

“Any problem?” Rin said skeptically.

“Yes, any!” Caster smiled confidently.

“What kind of problem do we have that needs to be solved?” Ilya said suspiciously. Even if they were amongst fellow woman, trust couldn't be passed around freely.

“This wonderful-wonderful book has list upon list of solutions to all of your courting problems.” Everyone except Saber and Rider understood. “Excuse me, for the vernal generation of this eon, finding a boyfriend.”

The room was silent for a full minute before it burst with laughter.

“What kind sham is that? Did you get that off the internet?” Rin wiped away tears of mirth.

“I did in fact from this so called `internet', and I had bookmarked some special spots for each and every one of you that I believe was appropriate.” The laughs died as quick as it started. “Oh, I have something Ms. Saber can use right here.” Medea giggled frenetically.

Medea read the book, describing Saber's core characteristics. Recounting her noble history and background, Saber would fall under the pretense of a willful maiden. Initial advice is to let the man take charge while inciting his desires.

“I-incite?” Saber stuttered.

Feigning bashfulness, innocence, and a pinch of nervousness is highly recommended. And for those hard to get types, give fleeting glances, make short eye-contact and turn the other cheek immediately!

By this time, your target of affection should be on top of you at this very minute, but if not so, and if he's being a hesitant douche. Try to push away from his advances but not too much! By giving futile resistance, you fuel his yearning until he can't control himself any longer, “And he'll transform and devour you!” Medea added the last bit.

“No—o!” Saber cried out fearfully.

“Excuse me but I thought you were trying to help us, not scare us.” Sakura said, comforting the shuddering Servant. Caster apologized, admitting she got `too into it'.

“I wonder what Saber will be doing tonight?” Rin grinned evilly. Saber whimpered, saying she doesn't want to be `eaten'. “Don't worry, he won't eat you.” Saber sighed in relief. “He'll desecrate you.” Rin chose her words well and was rewarded with another shriek.

“Don't worry, there's a special scenario written out for Ms. Tosaka.” Caster said. Rin tried to flee, but Saber held her down. “It took a while to decide what Ms. Tosaka would fall under since she's endowed with so many turn-ons.”

“What the hell's that supposed to mean?” Rin vented.

Medea began to read the many characteristics that defined Rin. Tsundere qualities coupled with pigtails, thigh high socks, and a miniskirt. A fiery temper complimented with moments of loss and vulnerability.

“Who the hell's vulnerable?!” Rin screamed before Saber's hand silenced her.

First series of actions, “There's more than one?!” play hard to get as much as possible, this will provoke the male party into action whether it be passive or aggressive. If you have degraded the male party before, practice moderation, degradation can destroy their will or make their patience snap. Either way, you will not be enjoying a memorable night.

In rare instances, try to compliment that male partner.

“Fat chance that would happened.” Fujimura-sensei whispered.

Maintain a dignified composure; this will not only bring respect but also platonic love. By this time, both male and female should have experienced lewd skin contact, and things should progress well from there.

Steam billowed out from Rin's pretty cranium.

“There is also the shortest route,” Assault the male party in the middle of the night while completely na—

“Stop! Just please, I think I've handled enough.” Rin begged, “How about we move on, like to my sister?”

Sakura jumped, “Eh? No, I-I wouldn't want to impede. I think that...”

“Oh, nonsense! I have a special one that I had already done in fact. It's called naked apron” Medea showed them a picture that shocked them all. A picture of the pointy eared goddess nude, save for a scanty kitchen apron that barely covered her bosom and nether region.

Sakura sputtered, saying should never commit such a flagrant act of immodesty to her beloved senpai. The home girl image she catered so long would be shattered within an instant.

“Oh but the delectable breakfast we had that day. It still sends tingle down my spine.” Caster drooled. Watching her reaction, Sakura began to have second thoughts…

“No! I must keep a clean mind. Bad thoughts out! Good thoughts in! Bad thoughts out! Good thoughts…” Sakura continued her mantra.

Ilya asked Caster with polite grace if there is anything in the book that could help her in any way. Caster flipped through the pages, but none of Ilya's special qualities ever came up. There were the glasses, ponytail, slender arms, big butts, and etcetera but nothing that would fit Ilya's description.

At the end of the book, there was a little note. It read: This book has no instructions for girls that are very short, flat-chested, immature, and has a big brother fetish.

Ilya almost threw the damn book into the hot spring. Caster was fighting with the strong little girl. The book's life was in danger.

“Um, does it say anything about me?” Rider opined.

“Sorry, let me check right away.” Caster restrained Ilya with a low level binding spell, enough to keep Ilya pacified for the moment. “Rider-san, Rider-san, ah-ha! It says… oh…” Caster covered her mouth and closed the book. “Wow, I feel famished! Is it time for dinner?”

Rider reached for the book, which Caster tried to keep from Rider's hands. It was like a game of cat and mouse and Caster swiped the book out of the way right at the last second. Rider and Caster continued their game of charades until Fujimura-sensei snatched the book away. Fujimura-sensei lectured everyone, saying that such childlike behavior is inappropriate for them as young adults.

Finding the bookmark with Rider's name on it, Fujimura-sensei began to read aloud. “Be forewarned and put some damn clothes on.” Rider almost fell over, the opening statement being frank. It described how Rider must be wary as her body and the way she dresses would warrant hostile advances from the opposite gender of her species.

One immediate solution was to escape to an uninhabited island and setup a labyrinth so that the men couldn't find her despite their greatest attempt. Rider shouted at Fujimura-sensei to stop reading, a past memory that Rider would rather not relive.

Using one leg, Fujimura-sensei expertly kept Rider at bay until she found a bookmark tab with her name on it. Curiously she turned to that page and read. “Chances are slim that you can find a male counterpart that will be attracted to your personality traits unless you change. What?! Why you little, who do you think you are?!” Fujimura-sensei tossed the book, and Rin caught it before it flew out the window.

“Ho-ho, next best solution is to `pacify' your male partner so he may not escape and you could do away with him at your pleasure, sounds kind of kinky.” Rin giggled.

Fujimura-sensei screamed, reminding Rin of the `other' series of actions that can be taken for her unique abundance of turn-ons.

Soon the room turned into a chaotic mess as the girls vied for control of the book to further embarrass one another with its wicked contents.

The arena has been set, the teams assembled, and the weapons armed for mental destruction. On one side are the girls and the other men, to prove once and for all who is better. Their tools are words, their ammunition is the imagination, and the objective is to scare. Welcome to a night of (dun-dun-dun) Ghost stories.

The rules have been explained. Each side as a chance to tell two stories, whoever even lets out even a whimper would be the loser. In the case of a tie breaker, a special unnamed challenge will be the decider.

Using the cliché excuse of `ladies first', the girl's began their first tale. Rin began her tale with a story related to the very school they attend. Perfect since mostly everyone in the room could relate.

It began during after school hours, when the teachers once let the students stay long over night. There was a girl who was bullied everyday. Now one would think she would leave before she can be picked on anymore, but she didn't have a home to go back to.

That day, her parents died. Most of the school sympathized with the broken girl, but the bullies didn't. They sassed and hectored her, told her that she should go die with her parents. And so that night, she died, killing herself by jumping out her classroom window.

But the story doesn't end there. The one of the people who bullied her happen to pass by the same classroom. She thought she saw someone, entered, and was shocked to see who was sitting in that empty desk.

The girl, who's supposed to be dead, sat naturally in her seat, studying her notes like a diligent student. The bully almost screamed in fright when the girl noticed her. With an innocent smile on her face, she stood up, walked over to a window, gave a last smiling glance, and hopped out the window.

The bully, now scared beyond her wits, was gasping in fear. She knew she shouldn't, but the bully crept closer to the window. Something coaxed her into moving to that window. Maybe it's because the bully knew she and her friends was the reason why that girl killed herself.

Her eyes rapt on the window sill, she peeked head down and saw nothing. Releasing a sigh of relief, she was about to pull herself back in but noticed something strange. There on the ground, something fuzzy. She squinted her eyes to see better and saw… herself, dead on the ground outside.

Her heart began to race, griped in fear. From out of the wall, just below the window outside, that girl's head slowly appeared, still smiling innocently. The bully was frozen in fear. Her body didn't respond to her pleas to run away. The dead girl's hand slowly wrapped around the bullies neck and pulled her down, just like how she saw herself moments ago.

With a sudden clap, Rin let out an ear splitting scream. The guys jumped and fell over each other but didn't let out even a whimper like Rin hoped.

“That was cheap!” Lancer cried out.

“Hey, Issei! Issei!” Shiro shook his friend, who fainted with his eyes open.

“We didn't make one noise Rin. So as the rule stated, you don't get a point.” Archer said, trying to control his shaky voice. Though Rin didn't technically win, it was golden to see Archer strain himself.

Seeing how his pride was on the line, Archer stood up to take the task of taking Rin down. Rin feigned a yawn, daring Archer to give her his best shot.

Remembering a very chilly tale, Archer began to spin his web of terror. An old legend from a far away island he visited long ago. A folklore that the locals heeded with prudence, the story was of the white lady, the locals called her.

When the Spaniards came and took control of the island, there was a Spanish officer who married one of the local girls. The officer was kind and loving at first but turned cold and abusive after his marriage. And every night, he would send his wife to fetch him fresh water from the river for his dinner.

The young girl soon began to look forward to her little walks to the river. She especially loved it when it was full moon. The moon would reflect of the moving river's surface like stars dancing, a gentle wind blowing through jungle flora.

However, her husband soon began to notice how it took longer every night for his wife to bring him his water and became furious. So on a new moon, the husband sent his wife out during a stormy night. Without the moon to guide her and the screams of the wind, the wife failed to notice that the once tranquil creek turned into a raging flood.

Oblivious to the dangers she was in, the wife made her way down with a clay pot. The embankment gave way, and she fell into the turbulent waters. She screamed for help but succumbed to the murky depths.

Now today, especially when there's a new moon out, her spirit lingers and appears in three of that island's most prominent landmarks. During dusk and before the moon appears, you will see an apparition dressed in a ghostly white dress like a bridal gown, silvery hair and sad red eyes.

Sometimes, she warns of dangers like when a storm is about to come, but the other stories are grimmer. She'll appear as a human, an animal, or even a combination of both, a horrible half-creature, and has an aversion for women and children in particular, and the White Lady only fears the cross.

The most important thing is not to be touched by the White Lady. There will be a red mark where contact was made. And late at night, you can hear the White Lady make horrible, screeching screams. If you don't see a local shaman to seek healing, The White Lady will come steal you away in your sleep.

“So be careful, or you'll get this red mark like I did.” Archer pulls back his sleeve, revealing a sickening red blotch on his arm.

Covering Sakura's mouth, Rin and the rest of the girls cowered in the corner, fear evident in their eyes.

“Y-y-yeah r-right! That's probably a mosquito bite or something!” Rin stuttered.

“It is actually. It's been killing me all night.” Archer scratched the red bump, making it worse. The room was silent before it burst with laughter, the tension from Archer's story completely disappearing.

“Are you stupid? You just ruined the atmosphere.” Rin giggled and remembered him scratching himself a lot when she was telling her story, the reason why it got so bad right now.

“I'm serious; does any body have some kind of itch cream?” Archer asked.

A bloody scream echoed through the halls. Everyone froze, slowly turning towards the door. “Archer, is this part of your plan?” Shiro asked nervously.

No, he didn't plan this far ahead, and he happened to have been bit by a mosquito earlier. The door shuddered like someone was trying to force it open. As if the ghostly source more than one, the windows rattled and swung open. Outside, a figure stood along a creek. The moon made her silvery hair shine. The wind howled with a curdling screech.

“Wh-… Wh-… White Lady!” Gilgamesh shrieked in terror. Everyone erupted screaming.

“Shiro, save me, I don't want to be taken away!” Saber cried.

“This is all your fault! Go die, die for my sake!” Rin used Archer as a shield.

“Taiga, I'm scared.” Ilya wrung her arms around Fujimura-sensei's waist.

“Oh my god, oh my god, she touched me! She touched me! I'm too young to die! I'm still so young!” Fujimura-sensei mistook Ilya for a myth.

“Within my inventory and all these weapons that I have, I don't have a single cross, damn it!” Gilgamesh wailed.

As the boys and girls scurried around terror stricken, the figure outside patiently waited, admiring the beautiful moon that was out tonight.

“I'm sorry.” Soichiro approached the angelic figure. “I had to help someone. She almost fell down the stairs.”

“Is the girl alright?” Medea asked concerned.

“… Yes,” Soichiro struck speechless by Medea's ethereal form.

With a giggle, Medea tightly wrapped her arms around Soichiro's and whispered into his ear. “Let's take a walk, darling. The garden is beautiful tonight, and we're alone.” And the pointy eared goddess led her prey into her trap.

~*~*~

Will be stuck playing Halo 3 for a very long time to come…

~*~*~

Fate: Season's Road — mini-series

… Still haven't thought up a name for it… oh well

Jyoohan: Archer!

Archer: What the hell do you want now?

Jyoohan: Though I hold much jealousy and enmity towards you for a certain reason, I have something that I must share as a man to another fellow man.

Archer: Okay… what is it?

Jyoohan: A couple of days ago, I was talking with a friend online, chatting about whatever.

Archer: Get to the point.

Jyoohan: Right, anyways, she suddenly sent me this *awesome* wallpaper that I can't stop staring at when my desktop is up… (Author checks his desktop wallpaper again) … yes!

Archer: Would you just hurry up and tell me?

Jyoohan: Sorry, the thing is, she gave me this untold euphoric image that actually made my head dizzy. I'm getting chills just thinking about it… oh sweet gravy… (Drool~*)

Archer: What is it? Tell me already!

Jyoohan: Okay, now picture this; you know that red “plug suit” from that anime “Evangelion” right?

Archer: I believe that show has been over-rated, go on.

Jyoohan: I know this has or had been already done. But imagine… Rin in that red plug suit; let the image simmer… Mmm. (YEAH!)

Jyoohan and Archer: (Eyes shimmer in exhilarating bliss)

Archer: You, sir, are a good man. (Pats the author on the back)

Jyoohan: Not a problem… not a problem.

Rin: You freakin' perverts! (Gives both the author and Archer a large bump atop their heads) Stop fantasizing about me!

Jyoohan: Forgive me Rin, you're “Tsundere-ness” (and the pigtails, and the mini-skirt, and the thigh high socks, and the plug suit fantasy, and the…) has an unshakeable grip on my heart. Forgive me Saber… I've… converted.

Saber: Somehow… I think that's a good thing—for me in any case. (Clings onto Shiro)

Rin: Don't drop this Sicko on me!

Jyoohan and Archer: Forgive us, we're men after all. (Stares at Rin with a happy face)

Rin: S-stop it! Don't look at me!

(Inspired by a true online chat)

~*~*~

Author's note:

Holy Pocky sticks, this was a long grueling work but I finally finished it. With this done, back to Träumen Neu where I left everyone in yet another cliffhanger. Anyways, I'll be going to Seattle to see my best friend, so no progress Thanksgiving week (11/17-24/2007, just so everybody knows!

Oh, about that min-series epoch, yes all you Saber fans, I have now officially converted over to Rin-ism.

Footnote:

Caster's book - Inspired by an art I saw where Caster, Sakura, and Hisui or Kohaku from Tsukihime reading a book titled: How to manipulate men. My imagination took me to places I shouldn't have…

Scary Stories - Rin's story was completely fictional, thought up by me of course. Archer's story however was based on a legend from my native hometown, Guam. The legend of the White Lady can be looked up if you Google: Guam Legends.

Bonus!!! (I am here to make you giggle further)

“Bakasa!” Ilya summoned her Servant.

“Wait Ilya, isn't it supposed to be Berserker? (Basaka)” Shiro corrected.

“What did I say?”

“(Baka-Sa) Stupid, who knows?” Shiro got kicked in the shin shortly after.

[“Baka” means “stupid”. “Sa” is often used as “Who knows”. Combined, “Stupid, who knows?” is the result, a little fun with Japanese translation. Gotta love the man who invented puns.]

Extra Bonus!!!

“There's going to be an O-make!” Ilya cheers.