Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction ❯ Akirame Norwen ❯ Deep Dive ( Chapter 18 )

Chapter 18: Deep Dive

Disclaimer: I own copies of the game FF7, FF8, FFX and KH....but..... I don't own the companies that made those games. If I did, I would be in Kingdom Hearts, and Riku would like ME!

(A/N: Alright people, these chapters about Erik are very personal to me, because they reflect the past that I lived when I was only a kid. If you want to get a better feeling for these chapters, or heck, the whole freaking story, I can suggest you listen to the following songs, whichever ones may be your taste: "Face to Face"-Justifide, heavy metal; "Suteki da Ne"-FFX soundtrack, love-song-ish; "Otherworld"- FFX soundtrack, heavy metal w/ screaming vocalists; the entire Evanescence album, "Fallen", goth rock, with a couple really sad songs like "My Immortal" and "Hello", plus the infamous "Bring Me to Life". )...I'll shut up now.

Chapter 18: There is Life and Death in the

Power of the Tongue

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"....man can tame all sorts of beasts...but the tongue no man can tame. It is an unruly evil, filled with deadly poison."

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Riku took another step towards Erik, who was now no longer wild-eyed, but still panting.

Erik's mind slowly began to register reality, and soon he let his shoulders relax, dropped his head and closed his eyes, trying to calm down. He slumped against the wall and slid slowly to the floor and buried his head in his knees, trying to will away the tears. He wouldn't cry. He couldn't. Not in front of Riku or anyone, not even in front of Irvine. He lifted his head when he felt a comforting hand rest on his shoulder. Riku was crouched down next to him, his aqua eyes searching for something from under his dark brows and silvery bangs. "Don't you dare." Erik said, craning his neck back.

"Erik, I ain't gonna hurt you." Riku said with a soothing voice.

"That's not what I'm afraid of you doing."

"Then what is it that I'm doing to scare you?" The guy could have signed up to be a psychiatrist without even going to college.

"I'm afraid that you're gonna kiss me."

Riku blinked. "What?"

"Don't kiss me!"

Riku was completely confused. "Why the heck would I kiss you?"

"You did back at Balamb Garden. I'm fortunate that you stopped before you tried to French me, weirdo!"

Riku sighed and rolled his eyes. "That again? Jeez Erik, you sure do go all-out to make me miserable, don't you."

"Yep. That's me!" Erik said as cutely as possible, giving a radical grin.

"Cut it out already! Man, you've been hanging out with Sora too long. You're starting to look like him now." Riku said, standing up and offering Erik his hand.

Erik already felt better, glad for the morphine humor provided to numb the pain of his past. Anything to numb the pain. Just to mask it, to hide it away. Erik took Riku's hand and stood up, then suddenly decided to take another whopping dose of the "best medicine". "Oh, Riku?" He said, suddenly standing in front of the older boy.

"Yeah?"

"Look....I uh....I need to tell you something." Erik said, shyly looking at the ground and scuffing his shoe on the wooden floor.

"Go ahead, I'm listening." Riku said, walking towards the closed door.

"No, wait." Erik walked over and grabbed his friend's arm, stopping him. "I want to talk here, in private."

Riku shrugged. "Whatever makes you comfortable."

Erik looked at the ground and tried to blush, managing to turn his cheeks a light pink. "Thanks Riku, you're really...sweet."

Riku raised an eyebrow and looked at the blushing sixteen-year-old. "Uh......thanks, I guess."

"Look, Riku, you and I are really close, and I think I should finally tell you why I've been so distant."

Riku definitely didn't like where this could be going. He backed up a step, hoping he could escape before the blonde did anything too crazy. "Uh......"

"Riku....all I ever wanted was for you to hold me." Erik said, sounding like an actor...no...actress from a cheesy soap opera.

Riku tried to make a quick dash for the door, but Erik leapt and wrapped his arms around the older boy's waist and continued to wail. "Don't you love me Riku? We're destined to be together! It's in...the stars." Erik let his voice sound as comically dramatic as possible, dramatically lifting his hand to the heavens to add feeling to his act.

"Oh geez Erik, you're too weird. I'm out of here. Let go!" Riku feigned terror as he tried to pry the boy's arms off of his waist.

"Oh, woe is me, for my love hath forsaken me. Must I dwell in the shadows of misery alone?" Erik recited as he was tossed to the floor.

"Shut up!" Riku laughed, and tackled the boy on the ground, wrestling him.

Just then the door opened and Irvine and Sora walked in, Kira poking her head in behind them. "Woah, is it that bad? Kira, you better clear the area." Sora said, pushing the girl back out.

Kira stood in the hallway for a minute, staring at the door that was being slammed in her face. What was going here? Erik and that Riku boy looked more like they were being goof-balls than fighting.

Inside the room, Irvine and Sora were pulling the two boys off of each other. "Man, Erik, what the heck is going on? That Kira girl is so scared that she made you made angry, she's afraid to apologize!" Sora said, folding his arms.

"Look guys....I'm really sorry about that, and I wish we could just pretend it didn't happen." Erik said, feeling the comfort slipping away.

"I don't think it's gonna work that way. You need to apologize and explain to everyone why you've been so weird lately." Irvine said, looking pointedly as Red walked in as well.

Red sighed and shook his head. "Look, Erik doesn't have to explain if he doesn't want to. All he has to do is apologize."

"What, and wait for the next time he blows up?" Irvine shot back.

"Well maybe it's none of your business!" Red angrily snarled.

Erik and Riku stared at each other, not knowing what to say as the two boys continued in the equivalent of a man's cat fight.

Outside the room, Akirame, Kairi and Jerdania could all clearly hear the shouting voices coming from the boy's room. "Oh no, please don't tell me they're fighting." Kairi said, looking upset.

"Come on girls. Sounds like these boys need a good dose of feminine reasoning." Jerdania said, putting her hands on her hips as if she were a super hero.

Akirame was the first to peek in. The sight wasn't very pretty. Red and Irvine were shouting at each other from across the room while Riku and Erik sat together in a corner, waiting for it to pass. Erik looked extremely upset, and for reasons she didn't understand, she felt like she had to immediately stand up for him. With an angry growl she stepped in through the door, followed by the two other girls. "What's the problem here?" Jerdania asked, putting on her tough-girl look.

"It would take a thousand years to explain, Jer." Irvine said, already softening for the sake of his girl.

Akirame dashed over and sat on the other side of Erik, looking at Riku for an explanation. Riku shrugged his shoulders. "I'm as in the dark as you are. All I know is that Red and Irvine are screaming about Erik telling us about something."

Erik looked much more relaxed now that the two simmering debaters weren't screeching anymore. "I don't want them to fight." He whispered, burying his face in his arms as he drew his knees against his chest.

"It's all right, Erik. Riku, we should get him out of here." Akirame said, wrapping her arms around Erik's shoulders.

"When they start yelling, he refuses to move. His eyes kinda glaze over, like he's in another world or something. Maybe....maybe he's having some sort of flashback?" Riku said, grimacing as the tone of Red's voice raised again, causing Erik to shudder.

Irvine's voice raised in response to Red's and the two boys seemed ready to duke it out all night long. Kairi, who was now greatly upset by the things the two boys were saying, sat down next to Akira and leaned against her friend's legs so she could be close to Erik. "Erik, are you okay?" she whispered, trying to see Erik's face.

Erik whispered something, but it was so quiet, so full of pain, no one could understand him. Sora had now joined the bout, trying to get them to both stop fighting, only getting tangled in as well. He now found himself trying to block the blows from the swords made from their harsh words, and was losing.

Jerdania refused to stop tugging at Irvine's coat, bravely trying to get his attention and calm him down, but didn't seem to be getting through to him.

While the battle raged and continued to rise in tempo, Riku's anger continued to rise. He had just about had enough. He finally stood up and faced the fighting group with a look on his face that could have killed the legendary monster Omega Weapon in its tracks. "Would you guys please just stop?" He practically begged, fighting the urge to grab the Luna Luz and end it right here.

The three boys paused for a moment, then directed their attack at Riku, telling him to "butt out", and that it "wasn't any of his business". With a slam, Riku shut the door behind him and left the room, stopping when he saw the terrified look on Kira's face. With a sigh, Riku ran his fingers through his matted hair and explained to her what was going on. The two nodded and headed downstairs to get Dr. Kadowaki.

Akirame and Erik were now the only two that weren't fighting. Kairi had starting crying while pleading for them to stop, which had angered Sora, and now Kairi somehow was fighting on his side. Jerdania somehow saw things through Red's eyes, believing that Erik should be allowed to keep things to himself, while Irvine angrily tried to defend his view.

Erik gave another shudder, and Akirame let him lean against her and hide away from the world as he hid his face in her shoulder.

Indistinct words, raging from an inferno in the living room. His parents were fighting, as usual.

"Mommy, Daddy, please stop fighting!" A young girl's voice suddenly rang out.

The memory grew vivid for a brief moment, allowing him to see only his father.....his mother and the little girl seemed to be moving streaks of light with no distinct shape. "Stay out of this!" his father growled, leering at the blur.

"No! I'm tired of you always fighting and hurting each other!" The little girl bravely shot back, the blur moving across the room to approach the much taller man.

Erik cringed, uncertain of what would happen. It was like watching David taunting Goliath. "Honey, please don't..." his mother's voice begged, the taller blur bending over and trying to draw the brave 3-year-old back.

His father approached the pleading mother with an upraised hand, apparently readying himself to strike, when the little girl made an unexpected move. "I'm not letting you hurt Mommy anymore!" The little girl howled, rushing forward and knocking herself into the man's legs as hard as she could, knocking him over.

Tense silence.....the man slowly pushed himself up, pushing aside the half-empty beer bottles that were in his way. "I see how it is. Little girl, I'm gonna whip you so bad, people won't be able to recognize you anymore." The man hissed as he slowly stood up again.

"Don't you dare touch my baby!" his mother screamed, wrapping her arms around the girl. "Hurry baby, run and hide with your brother." The mother anxiously said, releasing the mere toddler.

The little blur dashed toward him and clung desperately to him. "Erik, I'm scared." The little girl said, crying into his shoulder.

"I'll take care of you." He said, holding her tighter.

"Erik! Erik! Erik!"

"Erik! Snap out of it, man!" Riku's voice urgently begged, gently shaking the fazed boy's shoulder with his gloved hand.

Erik blinked and looked around. So his worst fear had come true. Just breaking down here in front of all his friends... how was he going to explain it? Even he himself didn't quite understand why he was reliving nightmares from his supposedly forgotten past. "Erik, are you okay?" Akirame asked, now crouching in front of him.

Erik felt...humiliated. Everyone, even Kira, was standing around him, judging him with their eyes. He felt cramped, caged in. He quickly jolted up and tried to push the people away from him, his heart beat leaping at the chance to get a breath of air into his choking lungs. "I....I'm fine....I just...." He tried to say, now leaning over and feeling like fainting.

"Oh, baby, are you okay?" Dr. Kadowaki asked, slowly approaching him.

"I'm fine." Was the shaky lie that he quickly stuttered out, trying to get a grip on reality.

"Erik, what happened? It's like, as soon as Red and Irvine started yelling at each other, you just spazzed out!" Sora said, using his arms to make gestures.

"I don't wanna talk about it." Erik barely whispered, his mind screaming for him to run.

"Erik... we need to understand what's wrong. You could become a danger to us if we don't know why you've been having these....episodes!" Irvine said, taking his chance to voice his frustration.

"Hey Irvine, back down. Erik just went through the equivalent of a seizure! He needs gentleness right now." Kairi said, firmly pulling on the cowboy's trench coat.

Akirame slowly stepped forward and placed a comforting hand on Erik's shoulder. "Erik, you can take your time, but we need to know what's going on." She whispered into his ear.

Erik nodded and straightened up. "Guys.... I don't want to talk about it just now. I mean.... I don't like talking about it at all."

"You mean you've had this problem before?" Dr. Kadowaki asked, mentally jotting down an analysis.

".....yeah. Plenty of times, especially when I was younger." Erik reluctantly answered, feeling the wall he had built around himself slowly coming down, just a few bricks, but enough to start alarming him.

"Hmm..... you really need to confine in someone about this, you know? I don't know what it is, but I can feel that you're trying to hide something from everyone. Erik.... you gotta let it go, one way or another. You're endangering yourself and others with this secret of yours." The doctor advised.

Erik nodded. He didn't want to do this. Not now....not just yet, he couldn't handle it. He walked over to a window in the wall and looked out across the street, which was now lit up by a few lamps in the dark of rural night. Across the street he could make out the outline of the house that contained thousands of his scarring memories. Would he have to face it....alone? Or would he have to build up the courage to tell someone? What if... that person abandoned him....like the others? "How long.....how long was I.....out of it?" Erik asked, pressing a hand up against the window.

"At least five hours. It's already midnight. You have to be so tired after enduring an episode like that. I've seen them before." Dr. Kadowaki responded.

Erik sighed. Five hours? It just didn't seem possible. His.... "vision" couldn't have lasted for more than five minutes. Maybe he really was a threat to the team. "I....I just want to go to sleep."

The others in the room nodded. With that, Erik waited and stared out the window until he was sure that most everyone had left before turning to open his bag that was laying on his bed and pull out the bottle of painkillers. He twisted open the bottle and tried to faintly remember what Kira's instructions were.... "No more than two in six hours....?"

Erik didn't care, now that he really thought about it. He smirked slightly as he dumped out two...three...four pills. He tilted back his head and swallowed the pills, then closed his eyes and gave a silent prayer before collapsing onto the small mattress.