Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction / Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction ❯ Jenova's Children ❯ Clandestine ( Chapter 19 )

Jenova's Children

By Kawaii and Junsui

 

Chapter 19

Clandestine

 

“I know it was around here somewhere…” Kadaj muttered, still dragging the two other young men along with him. Riku had given up resisting within the first minute, knowing that his brother was on a mission and he was willing to tear someone's arm off if he didn't get his way.

“Tch…gnnn… LET GO OF ME!” Shake howled, feebly attempting to pull his wrist free of Kadaj's iron death grip. He shook his arm violently, but to no avail. “LET GO OF ME, I SAID! FOR DA CHAO'S FUCKING SAKE, YOU PIECE OF SHIT—!”

A woman walking past them covered her small daughter's ears and urged the girl along nervously. Riku stared after her apologetically, sighing in his state of defeat.

“YES! Fuckin' score!” Kadaj cheered, pumping one fist into the air in excitement, releasing his younger brother in the process. On the corner of the street was a small café designed with large, white double doors; light spilled into the restaurant though the clear panes of glass, allowing a view of many of the light wood tables with plush armchairs set around them. Upon the top of the building was a large sign depicting an adorable deformed character with cat ears upon its head, blushing nervously at the street below. Kadaj smiled and nearly charged through the door, smirking around at the unchanged scenery.

“Welcome home Master.” A breathy voice greeted and three sets of eyes landed upon a small figure in complete and utter shock. A tiny, androgynous boy dressed in a pair of shorts that hung limply around his frail legs and a white dress shirt complete with frills. Delicately styled hair with pale golden streaks in it fell over his large brown eyes, sparkling with such innocence that it nearly hurt to look upon them, “Shall I seat you and your friends?”

Kadaj grabbed Shake by the shoulder and wheeled him around, “I thought you said this was a Maid Café.” He growled through gritted teeth.

“It was.” Shake muttered in reply, “Until the boy's love franchise took over and they changed it to a Butler Café.”

“Is there something the matter, Master?” The boy inquired, looking genuinely concerned. Kadaj and Shake made a simultaneous “urk” noise and jerked foreword nervously. Riku nearly turned around and walked out of the place if it wasn't for the next boy that casually sauntered over to the group.

“Yet another band of young men seeking pretty maids and finding you instead? Tsk, tsk Gale, leading such fine young men on to believe that you're a girl!” The new young man ran his hand along the younger boy's cheek, coming to a casual stop before Kadaj, Riku, and Shake. “I have to apologize for him. Please, stay for a cup of tea, complements of our café. My name is Hearth, and may I have the pleasure of learning the name of this handsome young fellow here?”

To Riku's horror, Hearth took several elegant strides towards him and cupped his cheek in his hand. Riku's breath instantly hitched as Hearth's deep red eyes met his and a smirk curled onto the elder boy's lips. When up close, Riku realized how (for lack of better words) pretty the taller boy was. Deep auburn hair delicately streaked with red fell over his sunkissed skin and exotically deep eyes—not to mention his attire of a traditional tailcoat with a silver vest underneath, complete with white, silk gloves.

“Um… it's Riku.” He glanced away from Hearth, feeling his cheeks burn. The smiling butler gently removed his hand, sensing how uncomfortable he was making the other boy.

“You don't see a boy of your coloring every day. If you're not a tourist, then you should definitely put an application—” Hearth paused in mid-sentence, wide eyes falling on Shake, whom was glancing away, his jaw clenched firmly. “Lord Shake.” The devious smile returned to the butler's lips as he descended to one knee, “It's been quite awhile. I didn't recognize you in your civilian attire.”

Kadaj suddenly began to glance from Hearth to Shake, raising an eyebrow, “You know each other?”

“We've met.” Shake said stiffly, violet eyes becoming hard amethysts.

It was Hearth's turn to stare, his dark eyes flicking from Shake to Kadaj before he smiled softly, turning on his heel. He held out a single hand to gesture towards their table, “You'll find that we're rather empty today. Fall is our off season, you see. Business really picks up around Christmas, however.” He explained, walking over to a set of thick double doors carved with elegant spirals and floral patterns. “This is our private party room. Yes, such extravagance is called for when it comes to important guests.”

The room beyond the doors was roughly the size of a dining room, finished with redwood and deep red accents. A small coffee table complete with an extravagant Victorian tea set was positioned before a crackling fire; three plush, cranberry-colored armchairs stood around it, each topped with a lacy doily. The walls were a soft cranberry color as well, a strip of carefully designed wooden paneling positioned in their middle. The walls were decorated with elegant Rococo paintings: one depicting an elegant woman upon a swing; while another showed a young woman in shades of oranges and reds, her head tipped downwards towards a book; the final rested above a fire place and was a landscape of a mother playing with her children around a small stone wall. Somewhere in the room, speakers played a piano rendition of Mozart's Rondo Alla Truca.

Riku would be damned if this room hadn't been designed by a woman.

He awkwardly plopped down into the rightmost seat and suddenly felt very uncomfortable in his own skin. Shake chose the middle seat, sitting down with such dignified grace and ease that it made him appear as if he was made for this place. Kadaj nearly threw himself into the last seat, casually resting his back against one of the armrests and flinging his legs over the other, cradling his injured arm to his chest as he starred suspiciously at Shake.

Riku jumped as soon as he felt his foot being squeezed, `Okay, yeah. Everyone in Wutai is a fucking ninja…' He decided, looking down at Hearth, whom was kneeling before him, hands wrapped around one of Riku's dirty tennis shoes.

“Allow me, Master Riku.” He said huskily, slowly removing the shoe. Riku nearly died. He pinched his eyes shut, gripping the arm rests with all of his might, willing the furious rouge upon his cheeks to disappear. Hearth took his time, sliding the shoe off with practiced ease, making sure to run his long fingers down the length of the sole of his foot. Hearth repeated the process and smiled mysteriously at Riku as he fell back into his seat as if every bone in his body had suddenly disappeared.

Riku glanced up to see Kadaj smiling wickedly at him as Gale removed his own shoes and Hearth went to tend to Shake.

`Say a word and you DIE.' Riku mouthed to his brother, whom shrugged and wiggled into a more comfortable position.

“So,” Heath began conversationally. “What would all of you fine young men like for lunch today?”

“Depends, what do you have?” Riku asked, cradling his hands in his lap and twiddling his thumbs nervously. Hearth smiled warmly at him and extravagantly gestured towards Gale, whom bowed slightly in reorganization.

“Anything, you wish, Master. Our only desire is to serve you.” Gale nearly whispered. He drew a timid hand to his mouth before a joyous expression crossed his face. “Ah! I have a fun idea! I can surprise you! I'll make all of my favorites for you!”

“Uh…” Riku began uncertainly as the boy beamed around at them.

“That sounds excellent, Gale.” Hearth beamed, crossing the room to set a gentle hand on Gale's shoulder. “Why don't you go prepare some lunch and I'll entertain our guests.”

Riku twitched. If Hearth started stripping, someone was going to die.

Hearth lowered himself to the floor, carefully removing his silk gloves and setting them down beside the tea set before lifting it up from the table and turning to his guests, “Now what kind of tea do you all enjoy?”

“I'm partial to green myself.” Shake said boldly, albeit coldly.

“Normal tea, whatever.” Kadaj shrugged. Hearth turned to Riku.

“Uh, raspberry.” He mumbled, recalling the fruity teas Kairi had served him back on the Islands not too long ago. The butler nodded pleasantly and swept out of the room, leaving its occupants in a painfully awkward silence, save for the end of the cheery song played over the speakers.

“So…” Riku began after about forty seconds of silence, “Kadaj, why were you freaking out when you saw Chekhov? Besides for the brain ninja thing?”

“Oh, yeah. That.” Kadaj threw his legs over the side of the chair, hunching over them, “Remember how I told you I went on a class trip here when I was younger? Well, I remember they let a couple of kids from martial arts club see a battle in the Wutai pagoda.” He leaned back in his chair, shaking his head slowly. “It was amazing. Better than anything I'd ever seen, on TV or in real life. This big, burly guy lumbered up to her, looking like he was going to crush her… and then her eyes just… flashed.” He glanced over to Riku, his own eyes wide with disbelief. “It was insane— she barely flinched and all of the sudden, there was this… thing in her place. It's kinda hard to describe, I barely got to see it. But it was really thin and small with big-ass teeth and claws—and before I could even blink, she latched onto him, just ripping the poor fucker to shreds, and even after he lost, she started making comments on his childhood. I seriously thought he was going to start crying.”

“Mom particularly dislikes men whom think she's weak because she's a woman.” Shake informed the two, rolling his head side to side. “Even I haven't been able to beat her, which is why I'm on the floor below her in the pagoda. To this day I'm still shocked that Yuffie managed to beat everyone including Lord Godo.”

“Yuffie's actually pretty smart when it comes to battling.” Riku told Shake, “She gave me really good advice when I was training with Cloud awhile back and I was even able to tire him out.”

“Bimbo gets that from her parents... unfortunately.” Shake added as a bitter afterthought as Hearth came back into the room bearing three cups of tea on the delicate little platter.

“Peppermint for the close companion of my Lord Shake,” He smirked, handing the cup to Kadaj, whom raised an eyebrow and snatched it away. “Green tea for Shake-Sama himself,” Shake accepted the cup with a polite nod of his head, though he was giving off the distinct vibe that he wanted to smash it over Hearth's head. “And Raspberry for Master Riku.” Hearth made extra sure to brush his hands against Riku's as the younger teen accepted the cup.

“Thanks.” Riku mumbled, raising the teacup to his lips. To his surprise, the tea was pleasantly fruity, with the perfect amount of sweet. “This is really good.” He commented, Hearth turned to him and smiled.

“Yes, I like to take my time preparing each individual cup. I know the exact amount of sugar to make any kind of tea taste perfect.” Hearth explained, “What good would it be coming all the way here for a mediocre cup of tea if I didn't put such love into each cup? I'm glad you enjoy it. Pick a card.”

“What?” Riku glanced up from the frilly floral patterns on the cup to see Hearth holding out a small fan of playing cards. He slowly reached out to take one of the cards. The Jack of Hearts.

“Put it back into the deck.” Hearth commanded, “And don't show it to me. Feel free to shuffle it however you want. I'll even turn my back.”

Riku quirked an eyebrow as Hearth turned his back to him and stared down at the deck. He quietly cut it in two and placed the card in the very middle before proceeding to shuffle the deck thoroughly, even checking to see if it was a normal deck, which it was.

“I'm done.” He told the auburn-tressed teen, whom turned back around and accepted the deck from him, fanning them out in his hand once more, “Could this be your card?” He inquired, holding out the ace. Riku shook his head `no'. Hearth furrowed his brow and plucked out another card, the Queen of Spades, “This?”

“No.” Riku said again. Hearth frowned.

“Well, if it's not in the deck…” He mumbled, reaching into his pocket and withdrew the Jack of Hearts from his pocket, “Then this must be your card.”

“Impressive.” Riku commented, raising an eyebrow. Shake snorted and Kadaj shrugged nonchalantly. “Come now, was that not enough?” Hearth smiled mysteriously. “Most of our customers do enjoy that trick…”

“Most of your customers are gullible schoolgirls.” Shake growled, slumping into his seat like a pouting child. Hearth completely ignored him, still smiling as pleasantly as ever.

“I do believe a bit more drastic magic is called for.” Hearth raised a hand, holding a single card between his pointer and forefinger before flicking his wrist and sending the card spinning around his head. It calmly returned to his hand where it hovered mysteriously and Hearth ran his long fingers underneath, around and above the thin sliver.

“Tch.” Shake jerked his head away, folding his arms over his chest. “Cheap tricks.”

“Really now?” A corner of Hearth's mouth twitched upwards as the card hovered between his hands. He pressed them together and opened them to reveal a small origami crane, fluttering its wings restlessly within his palm. It took flight, soaring over Riku's head, the tips of its wings skimming the top of his tea before it returned to perch on Hearth's shoulder and flipped back into a card, sliding effortlessly in-between his fingers.

Before any of the three had a chance to comment, the door squeaked open and Gale rolled a small cart of food into the room, smiling cheerfully. “I really hope Hearth did a good job entertaining you all!” Gale quipped, “Aren't his card tricks amazing?”

“I really have no idea how he does it.” Riku said softly, still in a state of shock. He glanced over to gage Shake and Kadaj's reactions. Shake seemed to be radiating annoyance, a scowl more than evident on his face, while Kadaj seemed more interested in the food.

“Really, no one does.” Gale smiled, placing three porcelain bowls of soup on the coffee table before them. “Someday I wanna be a great magician like Hearth!” He turned his brown eyes on the elder boy, staring up at him like a god-like idol. Hearth's chest puffed out in arrogance while Shake made a noise.

Kadaj wasted no time snatching the soup off of the table, pressing the side of the bowl up to his lips in the traditional way of drinking such soups in Wutai, “Geez, I haven't had miso this good in… Christ, I would've had to have been fourteen…”

“Thank you!” Gale smiled, pulling his arms behind his back, a timid little blush dusting his cheeks, “I made it all by myself! I'm so glad you enjoy it, Master.”
Riku gathered up his own soup and began to drink as Heath helped Gale unload a series of fancy foods onto the coffee table: a small platter of pinwheel sandwiches, square chunks of agedashi tofu marinating in a shallow bowl of broth, tiny cakes and brownies decorated with intricate frosting and sprinkles… all the kinds of food that would make a teenaged girl squeal in excitement. However, it would make a teenaged boy such as Riku pluck it up, say “Oh… neat.” and proceed to take a bite out of it.

“I'll leave some biscuits and jam for you, too.” Gale said, setting down a small basket covered in a frilly cloth.

“Well, we'll let you relax for awhile,” Hearth said conversationally, wrapping an arm around Gale's shoulders and directing him towards the door, “If there's anything you need, please,” His eyes met Riku's and his voce dropped to a husky octave. “Don't hesitate to ask.”

With that, the auburn-tressed butler ushered Gale out of the doors, closing them firmly behind him. Riku noticed that a new, cheery song had started up from the unseen speakers, making the silence between the three young men in the room painfully awkward.

“So,” Kadaj broke the ice, turning towards Shake with a lazy expression. “What the fuck was up with you and that guy?”

Shake snorted, reaching forward to grab his miso soup and raise it to his lips, “We have… a history together. He was one of very few able to defeat me… and I believe that was only because he was under my skin to begin with.”

“So… you're gay?” Kadaj asked nonchalantly, though his voice was softer than Riku had ever remembered it being. Riku nearly choked on his soup, coughing into the bowl so hard that Shake reached over to hit him on the back several times.

“I-if you must know, yes. I am partial to men.” Shake mumbled, his pale cheeks turning dark red.

“Oh.” Kadaj turned his head towards the ceiling, taking a bite out of his pinwheel sandwich.

Riku was staring awkwardly at his soup. All of the sudden it seemed so interesting, like there was a layer of water above the miso, which was drifting towards the bottom. `Oh and there goes some tofu floating by,' Riku thought, fighting the urge to get up and leave that very moment, `I'm not paying attention to the fact that my older brother obviously has the hotts for this guy right next to me. Nope, not at all.'

“Yuffie finds the need to torment me about it every chance she gets.” Shake continued conversationally, however awkwardly, “I would've been next in line for the throne if she failed to marry.”

“That sucks.” Kadaj shrugged.

`Yep, this is probably the most awkward conversation I've ever witnessed. I should take this as a chance to exit to the bathroom.' Riku decided, standing up. A pair of violet eyes fell upon him at the same time as his brother's catlike ones.

“Uh, bathroom.” Riku explained, wasting no time crossing the room and darting out of the door. He spun around and closed it, leaning against the cool grooves in the wood.

“So are they making out yet?”

“GAH!” Riku spun around to face Gale and Hearth, whom were standing behind him expectantly. “I—you! Where the fuck do you people keep coming from!?”

 

“Oh please, Shake obviously had the hotts for that grey-haired kid.” Hearth chuckled with a flamboyant flip of his hair. “I'm just trying to help him out, as a peace offering, you know?”

`No, I don't know. Now would you kindly fuck off before I kill something?!' Riku thought bitterly, “Uh… yeah. I kinda… you know what; I think I should be going now.”

“We'll be sure to tell them!” Gale smiled; waving goodbye to Riku as he nearly sprinted out the door. He turned to Hearth happily, “Good job scaring him off. He was really interfering!”

“Don't I know it.” Smirked the elder boy, leaning casually against the door.

Riku dashed out of the café, falling gratefully to his knees in the middle of the street, gasping lungfulls of fresh air as if he'd just been compressed in a tiny box.

`Okay, that was the most awkward situation I've ever been in.' He decided, pulling himself up and shoving his hands into his front pockets, taking some time to glance around the immediate area. Across the street, women haggled loudly in an open-air market, and to his left, several kids were leaving the arcade, arguing over the high score on MacPan. Riku reached to grope around his pocket for spare change, only to find that it was empty, `Shit. My wallet's in my pack.'

With a defeated sigh, he started towards the tall castle that peeked over the rest of the buildings, deciding to wonder around the grounds until he found Vincent or Yuffie.

“It couldn't be any worse than being crammed up in that café.” He muttered to himself, realizing with a painful groan of his stomach that he hadn't even finished his miso. The smell of teriyaki wafted over from the open air market and Riku winced, prying himself away.

The walk to the palace was pleasant, and allowed Riku to take in the surroundings more carefully than he had when Kadaj was dragging him and Shake down the narrow roads at a mile a minute. Everywhere children shouted happily, playing wild games of chase in the streets as the adults watched from their small vendors, exchanging rapid words of mixed Wutianese and English with one another.

Riku stopped as he broke away from the shopping district into the spacious residential area, spotting a wooden sign with elegant Wutianese characters brushed upon it. Below were roman cursive letter's that read `Ocha Teahouse'. There was a five foot gate made of dark wood surrounding the area, bamboo and wispy trees peeking over the edge. The various roofs of the teahouse powered over the edge, curved and thatched.

Riku stared, getting the impression that it was supposed to present more of a calming presence than this foreboding one. He continued down the road, turning his head to stare back at the teahouse one final time, the hairs on his neck standing on end.

The Kisaragi manor was only a several minute's walk from the teahouse, and Riku found it quite enjoyable to explore, coming across a small rock garden, the golden sand raked elegantly around the ashen boulders. The silver-haired youth backed up in determination, feline eyes narrowed in concentration as he crouched into a running sprint, leaping over the sand and landing on one of the rocks.

“Woa-h there!” A deep voice exclaimed as a man dressed in heavy green robes lumbered into view. “Be careful not to wreck that sand, or Staniv will have your ass for dinner.”

“Sorry.” Riku apologized sheepishly, jumping from the rock and landing safely on the cobblestone path that surrounded it.

“Huh, you seem to be a pretty nimble kid. What's your name?” The large man asked, reaching behind his head to gather his hair into a low ponytail.

“Riku Nonaka.” He replied. The man's eyes widened and a large smile split his face as he reached around to clap a large hand on the teen's shoulder, nearly crushing him in the process.

“Oho! So you're one of the silver boys Yuffie brought back from the mainland!” He grinned, giving Riku a small shake; which was roughly the equivalent of an earthquake to the teen, “Name's Gorkii, damn glad to meet you, Riku! I suppose Yuffie always says great things about me, her favorite uncle?”

“No, she really hasn't…” Riku mumbled awkwardly, sighing when Gorkii removed his hand waving it around nonchalantly.

“Eh, she's probably just been too busy with Vince to say anything. Heard I'm gonna be a great uncle, Godo flipped a shit, though…” He trailed off awkwardly, reaching up to rub the stubble on his face, “Eh, who cares? Can't undo it now, can we? Godo should at least be happy Yuffie managed to land a decent guy; girl's been the wild type since she was a little kid. `Specially after Nee-chama died.”

“You're Yuffie's mom's brother?” Riku asked incredulously. Gorkii barked a laugh, grinning jovially at Riku.

“Yup, Kasumi's one and only little brother!”

`Little?' Riku thought, quirking an eyebrow. He doubted Gorkii could be smaller than anything.

“God, I miss the girl.” Gorkii went on, “Sharp as a tack with a biting sense of satire—one of Wutai's greatest ninjas as well. She would've been at the top of the pagoda if it wasn't for the fact that neither of `em would ever raise a hand to each other—Godo and Kasumi, I mean. Always surprised me he ever let Yuffie take him on all those years ago. Eh, well I'd be pissed off too if my kingdom had become a tourist trap—“

Riku stood and listening to Gorkii ramble for the next several minutes, barely understanding what the man was going on about.

“—cute kids, you know? Despite the fact they'd be undead ninja babies! Ha HA! I gotta tease Yuffie about that one—“

GRRRRRRREEEEE.

Gorkii stopped mid-sentence at the sound of Riku's growling stomach, staring at the paling teen before him with wide green eyes.

“Uh, sorry, I didn't get...” Riku began awkwardly, never knowing his stomach was capable of producing such noises.

“Man alive, kid! When the hell was the last time you ate?” Gorkii asked, seizing Riku by the shoulder and beginning to drag him along.

“Uh, I had breakfast at about nine—“

“Good Leviathan almighty!” Gorkii exclaimed, “No wonder you're so skinny! A beanpole for Da Chao's sake!”

Thus was Riku dragged off to a new location for the second time in less than two hours. Gorkii pulled him across the estate and into the main building, where a small waterfall churned into a koi pond. They veered to the left and down a narrow hall, the green-clad man cheerfully bursting through a set of double doors.

“Hey Hitomi! This kid is starvin'! Whip him up something good, okay?” He cried out. A petite woman peeked her head over the side of a stove and shouted in agreement. Gorkii then picked up on another one of his tangents and Riku instantly knew to tune him out. Riku glanced around the kitchen, bored out of his ever-loving mind, until his eyes landed on a teacup set on a nearby counter. He turned to the large man, whom had made himself comfortable in a tiny chair straining under his weight

“—playin' with the saw! Of course, Godo never found out, `cause then he'd—“

“Hey, Gorkii,” Riku began, “What do you know about the Ocha Teahouse?”

Gorkii stopped and his face darkened, his lips sinking into a scowl, “Ocha Teahouse? Feh! Only the biggest bunch of backstabbing cowards in all of Wutai! They had Shin-Ra eating out of the palm of their hand before the war—givin' `em all sorts of insight about what our side was up to, all so they could profit from a couple of tourists.”

“What do you think about now? You know, with what's happening over in Edge— you think they're involved in it?” Riku asked, leaning foreword towards Gorkii as the small chef from before placed a large plate of chicken on the counter beside them and curtly shoved a pair of chopsticks into each of their hands.

Gorkii furrowed his brow, taking a piece of the chicken off of the plate and raising it to his lips, “You know, I wouldn't doubt it.” He growled, taking a large bite. He seemed to ponder the question further as he chewed, swallowing before he continued, “You should check it out while your stayin' here, I'm sure we could get you in no problem if Staniv pulls a few strings, he's a regular at that place… really pissed us off at first, the fact that Staniv kept going goin' back there after everything. Turns out that he has a love for their tea greater than any sort of thing I've ever seen—“

The kitchen doors flew open, banging harshly into the walls. Yuffie stormed in, her face and eyes bright red, glistening with tears. She released a feral shout and slammed her fist onto the counter as the chef Hitomi began to chatter to get worriedly in Wutianese.

“Yuff, what the hell happened?” Gorkii asked, springing up from his seat and rushing over to the girl. Yuffie flew into his arms, burying her face into his chest, where she expelled several muffled screams. The door swung open again and a tall, lithe man strode in after the girl, flipping his dark hair over one shoulder. Gorkii looked at him, shocked. “Staniv… what—?”

“I found her attempting to set one of Godo-sama's favorite tapestries on fire while on my way here for my afternoon tea. I told her that she could probably find you here as well.” Staniv explained calmly, crossing the room to where his tea set was waiting. “Naturally, she came here running.”

“Yuffie, can you tell me what happened?” Gorkii asked, soothingly stroking the girl's hair.

She released a string of garbled words into his chest, gasping and sobbing something along the lines of `NOT FAIR! IT'S NOT FAIR!' Gorkii heaved a sigh and looked pleadingly at Staniv.

“Can you take Riku here up to his room… and also make some reservations at the teahouse?” He asked softly as Yuffie bawled into his chest.

“Of course.” Staniv nodded calmly with a brief bow. He picked up his tray of tea and turned to Riku. “Come along, you may bring you food with you.”

Riku nodded, his eyes darting from Yuffie and Gorkii, to Staniv, and finally to his chicken, which he scooped up before taking off after the tall man. They traveled in silence, out into the main room and then up a flight of stairs railed in bright red.

Riku glanced around, observing several ornamental statues of grinning lions guarding heavy sets of doors, as well as a smoldering tapestry. Exasperated servants dashed up and down the halls, shaking their heads and muttering darkly under their breaths. They flinched in unison at the sound of a gunshot succeeded by a tormented yell.

“What was that?!” Riku asked Staniv, spinning around wildly. Staniv continued down the hall, unphased.

“Come.” He instructed, Riku reluctantly continuing behind him. “There is no threat here, do not worry yourself.” He paused before a stretch of wall and slid open a small fraction of it; revealing that it was actually a souji door that lead into a medium sized room.

It was sparsely furnished with a small table low to the ground, made of dark wood. The sections of walls that were not composed of souji were painted a neutral dark green, and there was a small closet made of dark wood beside a stretch of souji windows that allowed in filtered sunlight.

“I've been assured that you and your brother's things are safely packed away in the closet.” He reached open to slide open the souji across from the closet. “There is a toilet and bath in here.”

“Uh… thanks.” Riku said, bowing to the man. “My name's Riku Nonaka, by the way.”

“I am Staniv, fourth God of the Wutai Pagoda.” The tall man bowed in reply to the teenager. “I shall make arrangements for you four at the teahouse.”

“Thanks again…” Riku offered lamely as Staniv dashed across the room and slid out, closing the souji behind him. With a sigh, he set his food down on the short table and promptly devoured it before flopping down onto his back, staring at the circular light on the ceiling.

“This place is already driving me insane… and it hasn't even been a day…” He mumbled to himself, reaching up to rub his eyelids. “That bath's starting to sound pretty good right now…”

He stood up and went to search for his things in the closet, pulling a grey and blue pinstripe dress shirt and a loose pair of jeans from his duffle bag, complementary of his shopping excursion with Haruki and Yuffie the day before.

He entered a small room with a sink and a toilet, as well as a hamper with a small bench beside it, designed for undressing at. He stripped of his clothing, leaving them in a messy lump upon the bench before he slid open the cabinets above it to remove two clean towels and twin bottles of shampoo and conditioner, as well as a small bar of soap that smelt strongly of mint.

Riku pushed open the door to the bath, and blinked several times in surprise.

It was shockingly different from any bath he'd seen before; the room was small and completely paneled in dark wood. A few gaps between the wood provided a drain for a detachable shower nozzle hanging on the wall, a small stool below it served as a seat for the washer. There was a deep, square tub immediately beside it, a wooden chute from the wall providing as a tap. Riku awkwardly twisted the knob beside it, reaching down into the tub to close the drain.

`Okay, so I guess I use the shower to wash my hair while I'm waiting for the tub to fill up.' Riku theorized, setting the shampoo and soap down next to the stool, which he pulled out under the shower nozzle. After spending some time fiddling with it Riku pulled the nozzle from the wall and began to soak himself.

`God knows the last time I got to take fine minutes to relax.' He thought, hanging the nozzle back up and beginning to tend to his hair.

After showering, Riku rang out his hair and lowered himself into the tub, reaching out to turn off the tap. “Christ this is hot…” he mumbled to himself, rolling his neck to relieve the stress that had gathered there.

`Mmn… it's so nice in here, though, once you get used to it…' His mouth stretched open into a yawn, his jaw cracking loudly before he closed his eyes. `You could just fall… right… asleep…'

BANG. BANG. BANG.

“Riku, are you a prune, yet?!”

Riku jumped awake with a start, causing water to splash over the side of the tub. He felt like he'd been asleep for at least an hour, yet the water in the tub was still comfortably warm.

“Ri-KU! I know you're in there!” Yuffie cried, still banging impatiently on the door, “Don't make me come in there and get you myself!”

“Sorry! I fell asleep!” Riku shouted in apology, pulling himself out of the bath. He stared at his hands, finding that they were swollen with water, the ripples on his fingers plump. He slid open the door to the changing room, quickly starting to towel himself off.

“You fell asleep?! Geeeez, you're lazy!” Yuffie pouted from the other side of the door. Riku rolled his eyes and started to pull on his clean clothes.

“Are you DONE yet?!” The ninja asked loudly from the other side of the door.

“Give me two minutes, seesh!” Riku growled in reply, pulling his shirt on and starting to button it up as he slid open the door. Yuffie took one look at the towel thrown comically over his head and burst into laughter. “Shut up!”

“You like— like a nun!” Cackled the dark-haired girl, obviously in a much better mood than earlier. She composed herself, a jovial smirk still curled onto her lips. “C'mon Riku—and don't fly away!”

“What are you talking about?” Riku huffed, throwing the towel onto the floor of the changing room and begrudgingly following after the small ninja.

“C'mon Riku, we don't have all night!” Yuffie taunted, frolicking down the hallway towards one of the large set of double doors, which slightly ajar. Yuffie yanked it open and urged Riku inside, shutting them behind her with a dark sense of finality.

This room was, to be frank, beautiful. It was easily three times the size of Riku and Kadaj's guest room. Sets of souji that sectioned it off into several parts were thrown wide open, one final set opened into a beautiful sunroom encased in glass that filled the room with natural light. The walls were decorated with beautiful murals of the Wutianese countryside, as well as a large kimono that depicted ivory cranes and bright red and gold flowers above a shockingly blue sea.

In the middle of the room was Kadaj, looking fit to kill. His hair was ruffled and eyes narrowed into an eternal optic death ray. Next to him sat Chekhov, whom was fanning herself using a lavish pink fan embossed with silver swirls.

“What's going on, Yuffie?” Riku asked, turning towards the ninja, whom stared at him with a positively frightening, devious smirk.

“It seems that Staniv couldn't get reservations for four—at the teahouse you know.” Chekhov huffed. Riku stared at her incredulously. Her voice was now a loud drawl, a harsh contrast to the soft voice that she had greeted them with earlier that morning, “So, we're going to have to sneak you and your dear brother in.”

“How?” Riku asked. Yuffie dashed over to him, grinning into his face.

“You know whose room this used to be?” She asked happily. Riku stood a step backwards, feeling as if he's just been locked in a room with a crazed murderer.

“Uh… no?” He replied.

“This, dearest Riku, is the room that belonged to my dearly departed mother, Kasumi Kisaragi,” Yuffie explained, “And she was quite fond of collecting many beautiful, expensive kimono from all around Wutai.”

“…I still don't understand.” Riku said, backing up even further. Chekhov huffed angrily.

“We're dressing you and your equally androgynous brother up as Geisha in order to sneak you into the teahouse, you dolt.” She explained. Kadaj growled like an angry feline and glared at her from the corner of his eye. If looks could kill…

“Wait—WHAT?!” Riku nearly jumped as Yuffie backed him into a wall, beaming poisonous sunshine rainbows at him. “Why can't we just—something else or—?!”

“Because, sweet Riku, it's the easiest way and we don't really have any other ideas, and unless you can come up with one within the next second, you're getting prettified right here, right now.” Yuffie explained, folding her arms across her chest. Riku made a noise, and he was seized by both arms by a very insane Yuffie, cackling happily.

“Let's make it easy for you boys. Get undressed.” Chekhov started, pushing herself off of the floor, “You can leave your under things on. There are so many damn layers, it wouldn't make a difference.”

“I am not dressing—!” Riku began, but was quickly silenced as Chekhov shut her fan and swatted his arm with it.

“I'd shut up, boy, before we make you get naked.” She smirked triumphantly as Riku gawked at her and began to unbutton his top. Kadaj stood beside him, peeling off his `Fuck The System' tee shirt, his eye twitching rapidly.

“Yuffie, I think you broke Kadaj.” Riku informed the ninja as she and Chekhov began to remove the carefully folded robes from the depths of Yuffie's mother's closet. When he did not receive a reply, he glanced back at his brother's disheveled hair and a long set of red marks running down his forearms. “What the hell have you been doing?”

Kadaj managed to muster a smirk, “Do you really wanna know?”

Before Riku had a chance to convey his disgust, Yuffie marched over to him and threw a thin silk robe over his shoulders, mumbling under her breath just loud enough to be coherent.

“Good thing mom always bought long robes… you're so damn tall…” She glanced up at Riku as Chekhov began to hassle Kadaj into one of the scarlet-lined robes. “How tall are you anyway?”
“Five-ten-ish?” Riku informed her, Yuffie nodded and turned on her heel, grabbing a wool layer robe of pale blue and pulling it over Riku's shoulders.

“Good. Then Kadaj will have no problem wearing the short robes, `cause he can't be taller than five-five.” Yuffie concluded cheerfully, securing the robe on Riku with a thin sash before grabbing yet another layering robe, this one subdued lavender.

“If anyone asks, your name is Yuki of the Nomura-ke from the Chotocho Hanamachi.” Chekhov instructed, jabbing a finger at Riku. “This is your elder sister, Karin of the Uematsu-ke—same district.”

“I'm Yuki from where?” Riku asked as Yuffie loaded yet another layer onto him, this one long and red, detailed with pure white lilies.

“Yuki Nomura, Chotocho Hanamachi.” Chekhov repeated tersely, shoving Kadaj violently to one side as she wrestled him into his next layer.

“O…kay?” Riku nodded slowly. The whole ordeal was still rarely registering in his head, and he turned to glare at Yuffie as she hoisted what had to be the seventh kimono onto him. “How many of those damn things do I need?!”

“Its fall, so thirteen, at least.” Yuffie informed him casually. Riku started, shaking his head.

“Thirteen?!” Plop. Yet another layer went on. “Yuffie, are you sure about—?!”

“Look here, boy. We're wasting our time playing dress-up with you and your brother.” Chekhov snarled, pointing an accusatory finger at Riku. “You should be thankful that we aren't making you risk your asses by sneaking into that place, which is probably teeming with snipers and assassins. If you want to strip and go see for yourself, be my guest!”

Riku fell silent for the next ten minutes. Kadaj ceased struggling as well, falling into a frustrated submission akin to that of a cat that had just finished being bathed.

Finally, after what had seemed like forever, Yuffie wrapped a silken outermost layer over Riku's shoulders. It was a stunning royal blue detailed with soft white flowers rimmed in silver lace, and nothing more. The sleeves flowed down to Riku's ankles, swaying as Yuffie pushed him over to her aunt.

Chekhov was busy tying the thick, frivolous belt around Kadaj's waist in an intricate bow; the navy blue stood out violently against the violet robe decorated with small plum colored blossoms. The woman promptly shoved Kadaj away and beaconed Riku, lifting a navy blue belt from the floor and wrapping it around his waist several times before tying it in a cascading knot with skilled hands.

“This would've taken hours if it was anyone other than me.” She declared smugly, sauntering across the room to where a small wooden case sat in the corner. “Come here, Karin. I need to do your makeup.”

“Shouldn't you have done that before you put me in these god-awful things?!” Kadaj spat; however, he plopped down in front of her and she began to apply a white cream make-up to his face.

“I find it much easier this way.” Chekhov informed him, “No risk of smudging it while you're getting dressed.” She reached into her pocket, removing a package of cigarettes and a lighter. She slipped one of the thin sticks from the box and cupped her hand around it, inhaling so deeply that several ashes fell off of the end straightaway. She blew the smoke out of the corner of her mouth and stuck the cigarette in-between her lips, continuing Kadaj's makeup.

Riku sighed and stiffly knelt on the floor, attempting to allow his brain to catch up with the rest of his body; but he was still barely able to register that he was dressed up like a girl. He began to nonchalantly glance around the room, watching Yuffie slide open a closet and remove a set kimono.

“Aunt Chekhov, I'm gonna go get dressed.” She informed the elder woman. “If Kadaj gives you any more shit, just spray him with water and say `bad kitty'!” Kadaj twitched irately, but miraculously did not attack the ninja. “Riku will be okay, it looks like he's still a state of shock. Okies, then! Bye-bye!”

“For the love of Leviathan, boy! Hold still!” Chekhov complained, dipping a brush in red makeup.

“I'm just not used to having people stick things in my eye.” Riku replied sarcastically, resisting the urge to reach up and rub the offended eye. He quickly shut them once more and felt the fine brush sweep across the tip of his eyelid. Chekhov lightly blew to dry it, filling Riku's nose with the putrid stench of cigarette smoke.

“Open your eyes.” The dark-haired woman commanded, tapping a fat brown brush on the side of her makeup box and beginning to buff Riku's cheeks with cherry blossom pink. Riku sighed and shifted his legs into a more comfortable position, vaguely aware of his brother seething on the other side of the room, making small noises of anger.

“There.” Chekhov smiled at Riku, which was truly a relief to see, even if she was probably only smirking at her wonderful job on his makeup, “You look beautiful. Ah! One more thing…” She reached down into her case and removed a small band, standing up to move position herself behind Riku, gathering up a handful of silver hair, “Unlike your brother, who is posing as an accomplished Geisha, you must wear your hair up. Seeing as girls in Wutai—even professional Geisha—are fond of dying their hair these days, we won't have to dye your hair. Men actually prefer the company of exotic girls, and I think you fit the bill.”

She finally ceased pulling his hair and crossed the room to the closet, removing a pair of uncomfortable-looking wooden sandals, which she handed to Riku. He slipped them over his tabi socks and stood awkwardly, his hands sticking farther out from his body than he would've liked complements of the thirteen layers he was dressed in.

“Show some grace boy. I've seen prostitutes with better posture than that.” Chekhov snapped, grasping his hands and folding them in front of him. “Walk quickly, but quietly. Act docile and shy. Graceful… and above all, think like a woman. Both of you! Show me what you can do. Walk right over to that mirror”

`Think like a woman. Right.' Riku locked his eyes on the mirror, brow furrowed in determination—and then remembered he was supposed to be a woman. `Okay… uh… how does Kairi look? Little smile, shoulders relaxed, head tilted to one side...'

He quietly shuffled across the room, doing his best to glide in the clunky wooden shoes, before arriving at the mirror next to Kadaj.

Two young men peered into the mirror, a pair of young woman stared placidly back out.

Riku most likely would've mistaken Kadaj for an actual woman if he hadn't known it was him. His hair framed his face, silky straight. The dye had begun to wash out, starting at the roots pure silver and fading smoothly to ebony at the ends. His face was painted white as that of a porcelain doll's; eyes framed in smoky black rings, lips painted bright cherry red.

Riku was in no better shape, his face receiving the same treatment, save for the face that his cheeks were dusted in a childish blush and only his lower lip was painted, giving him an eternal pout. Chekhov had pulled his hair into an elegant twist at the top of his head, tendrils cascading from it. A small hair charm decorated in red and blue crystals protruded from his bun, making small jingling noises as he swayed nervously.

A high-pitched squeal sounded from the doorway and Yuffie had pushed between the two brothers before they even knew what was happening, an arm slung around each of their shoulders.

“Wow! And I didn't think it could be done!” Yuffie beamed. Riku and Kadaj stared at her reflection in shock. The ninja's messy hair was tamed straight, parted on the side, her bangs on the other side were held back with a clip glittering with silver crystals.

Her outfit gave her a startlingly regal and mature appearance. It consisted of several heavy outer robes of colors ranging from forest green to navy blue. A white haori barely peeked out from the robes, the majority of it covered by a pair of loud scarlet hakama that covered her legs and feet.

“I had to see it to believe it.” A familiar voice commented. Both Kadaj and Riku jumped, horror blossoming on their faces to see that Vincent was witnessing them dressed like women. The gunslinger himself was dressed in a pair of grey hakama, a darker grey kimono underneath; a black haori rested on his shoulders. His usually tousled raven tresses were worn straight, gathered into a ponytail at the base of his neck. “And there I was sure Kadaj was going to murder the first person who tried to put him in a dress.”

“Oooooh!” Yuffie cried, spinning on her heel to face Vincent. “That reminds me of this one time Aeris was telling me she had to dress Cloud up as a girl to sneak him into that pervy fatass's mansion to save Tifa!”

“Wait, hold on!” Riku shook his hand, waving his hands around wildly. “Someone dressed Cloud up as a girl?”

“Yes! AND I DIDN'T GET TO SEE IT!” The princess pouted, stomping her foot in anger.

“Cloud. As a girl. In a dress.” Riku repeated slowly.

“Yeah, that's what I just said, retardo!” Yuffie replied, grasping Vincent's arm. “Now come on! We have to get going if we don't wanna be late.”

They promptly left the room, leaving Kadaj and Riku standing in a stupor. Chekhov was still sitting, packing away her makeup in silence.

“Kadaj?” Riku began slowly.

“Yeah Riku?”

“This never happened.”

“Never.”

“All you have to do is stay calm and act like a woman! Stop freaking out!” Yuffie hissed to Kadaj as they shuffled towards the entrance of the teahouse, pressing through the thick throng of kimono-clad citizens attempting to weasel their way in.

“Oh yeah, `cause that's something I do every day!” Kadaj retorted, glaring at Yuffie from behind a sheet of his wild-toned hair. Vincent heaved a frustrated sigh and stepped in between the two, forcing them away from each other by an arm's length.

“If you two don't stop fighting like spoiled children, we'll be found out and all hopes of a peaceful confrontation will be thrown out the window.” He glared at each of them in turn. “So I suggest you show some maturity and act like adults for one night so we can avoid shooting anyone.”

Kadaj's lip curled back in a silent snarl, crossing his arms over his chest haughtily as if to say that shooting someone would be better than dressing as a woman. Riku would usually not agree to such violence, but the look that a tall young man standing several feet away was giving him made Riku not only want to shoot everyone in the vicinity, but himself as well. Riku was jolted away from the thought of shoving his Keyblade through the man's spleen by a loud pout Yuffie released before she gripped onto his arm tightly.

“Fine then! I guess Yuki-chan's the only one who still loves me!” Yuffie announced, nuzzling Riku's arm affectionately. He turned to give her an odd look before noticing that Yuffie's antics had a negative effect on the creepy boy watching him like a hawk. Letting every cuss-word known to man run through his mind, Riku took a deep breath and beamed at Yuffie.

“Awe, you're so cute, Yuffie-chan!” He squealed in the most feminine voice he could muster. “I love you, too!” He proceeded to hug her back with a feminine giggle, noticing his suitor inch away, thoroughly disturbed. Only then was he able to breathe freely.

“Riku.” Kadaj said, gaping in disbelief. Even Vincent had arched an eyebrow at the key wielder and looked ready to admit him to a mental institution. “What. The. Fuck?”

“That guy was looking at me like a slab of meat.” Riku informed his brother, releasing his grip on Yuffie's arm. “I had to do something, and I wasn't about to stick my Keyblade in his chest and cause a scene.”

“Sureeee…” Kadaj said slowly as they approached the entrance, which was a small opening in the dark gate flocked by a muscular man in a royal blue kimono, squeezing a guest list tightly in his beefy hand. Riku had never seen a bouncer before, let alone a teahouse bouncer, but he was fairly certain that as far as bouncers went, this one was the real deal. Before he knew it, Kadaj had seized his arm and was slinking up towards the bouncer, a confident, albeit seductive, look on his face.

“Hey there.” Kadaj greeted the man in a raspy, feminine voice. “I'm Karin, from the Uematsu-ke. This here's my imouto-chan from the Nomura-ke. We're visiting from the Chotocho Hanamachi.” His feline eyes flicked up and down the man's frame, a smirk curling onto his pink lips. “I'm certain we're on your list. Nomura-kaa-san should've made arrangements earlier today.”

The bouncer cleared his throat, shuffling his feet nervously. “Ah… well…” His eyes flicked from the guest list to the beautiful geisha no more than two feet away smiling at him with heavily-lidded eyes. “Ah, yes… here you are.” He pointed to a random spot of the pad of paper, not even touching a certain name. “We're very lucky to have such charming sisters entertain at the Ocha teahouse this evening.”

“Thank you.” Kadaj cooed and he and Riku slipped by the man into the garden.

“Nailed it!” He mouthed to Riku triumphantly. His brother stared back in mild shock.

`Okay, if I was acting feminine towards Yuffie, then what the hell was Kadaj just acting back—`

“NEVER `ERD OF MOI?!” A heavily-accented voice cried indignantly, causing the silver-tressed brothers to spin around. A beautiful woman was standing in front of the bouncer, dressed in a most elegant furisode kimono of jade green. Her collar was lined with white fur flecked in soft grey spots; it was a bit early for the season, but it contrasted magnificently with her long red tresses pulled up into a high ponytail upon her head. A nervous silver-haired old man with a toothbrush moustache stood behind her, trembling nervously.

“S-sir!” He sputtered, grasping a briefcase to his chest. “T-the Madame gets quite frustrated when people claim they've never heard of her… s-so if you could just let her in…”

“I've never heard of an “Estar Fondue”.” The guard glowered at the melodramatic woman, whom let out a shriek loud enough to break every window within a three mile radius.

“Estelle Dubouis!” She corrected furiously, stomping a foot and pointing towards the man accusingly, “Écoutent ici, les âne-pour-cerveaux, me permettent intérieur ou je—“

“Estelle, chérie ! Quelle est la matière, ici?” A familiar voice cooed sympathetically and Yuffie pushed her way to the front of the crowd, “Quand deux êtes-vous arrivé?”

“Cet après-midi. Le Nuage a voulu que nous vous rencontrassent ici. Couverture pour nous, svp, Yuffie.” The woman replied in relief. Yuffie nodded and turned to the bouncer, whom started, lowering himself into a deep bow.

“Ah! Y-your highness, I didn't recognize you…!” He began, but with suddenly interrupted by Yuffie.

“Do you have any idea who this is?!” The princess shouted, throwing an arm out to Estelle, whom looked drown upon the man as if she were watching a small, diseased animal writhe in the dirt.

“Ah… no…” He mumbled nervously.

“THIS—is my personal wardrobe assistant, the famous designer Estelle Dubouis! The reason you've never heard of her is probably because she's very exclusive.” Yuffie explained, “So exclusive you have to at least have control over a small country to even receive her catalog!”

“But… uh, your royal grace… we don't have any room for another guest, let alone two—“ The bouncer began, his eyes darting between Estelle and her trembling assistant.

“Gawd, they aren't going in as guests, I just need her in the bathroom in case of a wardrobe malfunction!” Yuffie huffed, and if her hair was longer, she would've flipped it before planting her hands on her hips.

“T-then I don't see a problem… please come right in, your grace… I-I'm so sorry for the trouble.” He shuffled out of the way, becoming a quivering ball of shame under Estelle's smug glare. The redhead sighed in relief and passed Kadaj and Riku, smirking lightly at the elder brother before turning and disappearing into one of the smaller teahouse rooms along with her nervous assistant.

“Come on.” Riku said to Kadaj, grabbing his arm and yanking him away from the haughty fashion designer, pulling him into the main teahouse after Vincent and Yuffie. A small geisha dressed in a brownish red kimono pushed open a door from her seat on the floor, bowing deeply to the couple as they disappeared into a large room. She slid it closed and turned her dark eyes on Kadaj and Riku.

“Hello, we're visiting from the Chotocho Hanamachi, and we haven't been here before. Could you tell us the way the entertainers enter the room?” Kadaj asked sweetly; the girl smiled and nodded, quietly giving him directions towards a souji. The two shuffled over and slowly slid the door open, entering a dimly lit room. Another geisha was already entertaining Vincent and Yuffie as well as—

“Shake...” Kadaj whispered, his eyes narrowing into slits. “That bastard got reservations—?! We could've avoided playing dress-up if he'd just have…”

Shake glanced over his shoulder at Kadaj nonchalantly, as if to signify he knew he was there. He turned towards the geisha, a small brunette clad in icy blues, and brushed a lock of hair out of her eyes, chuckling softly. He shot Kadaj a triumphant look as the pseudo-geisha cringed in what Riku assumed had to be jealousy. Riku turned as he heard a souji slide open slightly and viewed the woman from before, Estelle, sitting just beyond a small crack she'd opened on the wall of souji on the other side of the room.

He didn't even have time to point her out to Kadaj before a souji directly across from the two was thrown open and a young man traipsed in. His haori fit loosely as if he'd been dressed in it and then shrunk into his current frail frame, and the hakama seemed to be drawn as tightly as possible around his waist, yet still slumped off of his hips. The youth's hair was naturally brown, streaked with red lowlights and highlights and thrown into a hasty ponytail. He stretched out his arms as if expecting a hug from Yuffie, advancing towards her with a sickeningly fake smirk on his face.

“Yuffie-chan…” He drawled, flopping down unceremoniously onto a small set of pillows intended to sit on that seemed to make a better sort of bed for the strange man. Vincent started at the lack of an appropriate honorific, but Yuffie raised her hand just barely off of her lap to still him. It was shocking how formally the girl sat, her legs tucked beside her side-saddle, hands folded elegantly over her lap. The look on her face was that of a strong, regal princess—not at all that of a young woman whom had been arguing with Kadaj moments earlier.

“Thank you for making last-minute reservations for us, Ocha-kun. It is deeply appreciated.” Yuffie said in the voice of a woman, and even Vincent looked mildly shocked.

“Ah, it's nothing, its nothing!” Nai Ocha grinned lazily, waving off the thanks with a flapping hand. “We usually get Staniv and Shake in here every Friday anyway. It's a good change of pace to see the lovely Princess and her concubine here in Staniv's place—“

Yuffie's brown eyes flashed silver with such ferocity that Riku nearly cringed away, “Vincent isn't my manwhore,” She spat, some of her youth and vigor returning to her voice. “He's my fiancé and I'd rather he be treated with respect.”

Riku and Kadaj glanced to Vincent, whom seemed to be unaffected by the comment. More or less, he seemed to be repressing a smirk at the way Nai acted.

“Oh! Yuffie-chan! I'm so sorry!” The young man feigned embarrassment, clapping his hands around his face. “It's a pleasure to know you'll be married! We should have the reception here, in our gardens!”

Shake snorted as the brunette geisha giggled silvery behind her sleeve and poured him a small cup of saké.

Nai scowled at the girl, “Shut it, you.” He turned back towards Vincent and Yuffie, gesturing Riku over. “I'll have this one over here pour us some tea. Looks like she's visiting from another Hanamachi. Come here, sweetie, don't be shy. “

Riku forced a timid smile, attempting the repress the urge for his body to go into `Oh Shit' mode and lifted himself from the floor. He sat before the wiry boy that was staring at him with half-lidded eyes like a drunken cow would eye a river of wine.

“Gods you're a pretty one.” He rasped, reaching up to twist a lock of Riku's silver hair around his finger. His face was so close that Riku could smell the alcohol on his breath. “Pour us each a cuppa, would you honey?”

“O-of course…” Riku said breathily, suppressing the urge to beat the living crap out of the teahouse owner. “Um… where do you keep your teapot?”

Nai didn't even blink an eye, raising a hand to gesture the blue-clad geisha over. She gracefully rose to her feet and glided over to the corner, returning moments later with a black teapot and a set of matching cups. Nai flicked his dark eyes up to meet Riku's icy ones, his lips pulling back to reveal twin rows of yellowing teeth.

Nai lowered his head and whispered dangerously close to Riku's ear: “Go ahead, sweetie. It's not like you've never seen a teapot before.”

Riku nearly gasped, feeling his heart slide down through his chest and fall into his stomach with a sickening plop, “Right.” He promptly poured three steaming cups, handing one cup to the brunette, who made sure to brush his long, pasty fingers against Riku's.

“Here you are your highness.” He turned and offered a cup to Yuffie, whom snatched it away without batting an eye, brown orbs turned to glare daggers at the obviously unforgiven Nai. Riku winced slightly and offered a cup to Vincent, whom nodded in thanks before setting it down beside him.

“So, Yuffie.” Nai said airily, leaning back into his pillows as he twirled the dark cup in one of his hands, using the other to shoo Riku away. “What would cause to you inquire of my presence if you aren't interested in holding a reception here, I wonder?”

“We are here on behalf of the well-being of Wutai.” Vincent spoke in Yuffie's place. “Your establishment's involvement with the Shin-Ra war all those years ago has not gone overlooked—and with the situation in the Midgar area, we would suppose it would be safe to confront you with this.”

Nai's eyes widened to the size of saucers and he nearly dropped his cup of tea on the floor, fumbling as it split all over his pasty hands. “I-I have no idea what you're talking about…!” He quickly attempted to compose himself, squirming under Yuffie and Vincent's pinning glares. “I-it was my father all those years ago! I was a mere child and I had no involvement with the issue and I assure you whatever you've heard about this pact is false…”

“We've heard nothing of a pact, but it's quite an interesting detail.” Vincent smirked. Nai made an awful little squeaking voice in the back of his throat before miserably falling to his hands and knees in shame, crawling over to Yuffie and bowing low.

“I apologize deeply your royal highness.” He whispered so softly that it was nearly impossible to hear in voice.

Yuffie starred down at him in mild shock, opening her mouth to reply before Nai sprang from the floor, grabbing her around the neck and tugging her head up by the roots of her hair. A tiny handgun was held in his trembling fist, the muzzle pressed up against the exposed flesh of her throat.

“Don't make a fucking move, any of you!” He snarled around at the room, and everything else seemed to happen so quickly that Riku barely had time to register it as he summoned his key blade to his hand. Kadaj started, twisting his body into a defensive crouch. Shake cried out something in Wutainese, and in his place was a tiny black fox, three tails swishing behind him furiously. Vincent pulled Cerberus from his haori in a fluid motion and Nai Ocha was cornered.

“I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NOT TO MOVE!” He roared, clicking off the safety; Yuffie whimpered slightly and Nai grinned with apparent insanity. “Look here! She's afraid for her life! Would you like your little princess to die, manwhore? Hmm? Would you like to see her pretty little face all over the floor?”

Vincent growled under his breath, and Riku could've sworn he saw a purple tint pass over his pale skin. Shake, still in fox form, released a shrieking yip. Nai threw back his head and laughed.

“Well, I'll take that as a `no'. I want Godo Kisaragi on the phone NOW. No one argues, no one gets hurt—“

“That's exactly what I was thinking.”

Quick as a bullet, “Estelle” had gracefully swept into the room, Yazoo's silver dagger-gun Velvet Nightmare sliding out of her furisode sleeves and into his hand. Estelle's assistant rushed into the room after her, his toothbrush moustache falling from his lip as Loz's dualhound sparked with electricity on his left arm.

Nai blinked several times, licking perspiration from his lip. “Get that thing away from me… I'll shoot, I swear to God, I'll shoot.”
“I'll shoot first,” Yazoo promised silkily, tilting his head to one side. “And you know I will.”

The brunette made a tiny noise and made as if to pull his trigger. But before he could barely even twitch, Yazoo slid Velvet Nightmare down his throat, holding it at an angle so that the sharp edge was pressed up against it.

“Put it down.” Said the faux redhead as if gently coaxing a child into setting down a toy; yet there was a poison edge to his voice, which implied that if Nai didn't do exactly as he said, he'd find himself with a slit throat and a bullet in his brain.

“Okay…” Nai took a deep breath, nodding slightly to himself and then shouted at the top of his lungs, “RED ALERT! SECURITY! RED ALERT!”

A stretch of souji on every side of the room was thrown open. Half a dozen men the same size as the bouncer from the front stormed in, all clad in the same royal blue uniform. One of them dove straight for Yazoo, whom gracefully glided away, keeping his gun pointed straight at Nai's chest.

Riku whirled around in a crouch, using The Way To The Dawn to take out the nearest thug, springing to his feet to stomp on the man's ribcage with a sickening crunch. The man sputtered and coughed, small flecks of red spraying over his lips just as another one charged for Riku. Kadaj raced up beside his brother and delivered a fierce jab into the man's gut with his elbow. Once he had doubled over, Kadaj grabbed him by the hair and slammed his head into the wall.

On the other side of the room, Shake leapt into the air and shifted fluidly into the form of a youthful girl, dashing up towards one of the men, whom sputtered in surprise.

“M-maria?!” He gasped. Shake grinned sadistically and lunged towards the man, thick claws tearing into his throat and releasing a stead spurt of blood as he hit the main artery. The geisha dressed in blues beside him pulled a thin fan from her obi, flapping it open to reveal that it was a sharp weapon.

Loz was battling the guard that Yazoo had avoided, as well as two others, easily keeping them at bay with a series of powerful punches amplified by the electricity given off by his dual hound. Beside him, Vincent spun around quickly, using his claw to scratch across one of the guard's open eyes before aiming Cerberus at the crazed youth holding his fiancé hostage.

For someone as loud-mouthed and hyper as Yuffie, the ninja was keeping surprisingly still, obviously knowing that even the slightest twitch would set Nai off. Nai himself was in a state of panic, now pressed up against the corner of the room, both Cerberus and Velvet Nightmare aimed directly at him.

“I'm going to shoot her.” Nai whispered, “I'M GOING TO SHOOT HER NOW!”

Both Vincent and Yazoo flinched dangerously as Nai threw back his head and laughed once more.

“You see? I always win! Nobody stands a change against the Ocha family—!” His voice hitched suddenly and he began to gurgle, a thick cut that had suddenly appeared across his throat spewing blood out before him. The gun fell from his hand, clattering uselessly to the floor as Yuffie dashed away, feebly shying away from the claret spray. Nai fell to his knees, blood streaming from the corners of his mouth as he clawed desperately at his throat, gasping for air and releasing great amounts of blood with each strained breath before his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he gave one final involuntary twitch.

“You'll have to excuse my elder brother; he's a bit of an idiot.” A familiar voice said conversationally and Hearth strode casually into the room from behind a souji. Gale followed dutifully at his heel, twin handguns grasped in either hand. Hearth paused at the lump of flesh that was his brother and nudged him with the toe of his boot. “Well, was.” The auburn-tressed teen reached up and extracted a razor-sharp playing card from where it was lodged into the wall, tutting softly.

“A bit of a shame, I didn't really mean to kill him. Ah, well. What's done is done.” He pocketed the card and turned to the onlookers, all of whom (save for Shake), gaped hopelessly at the finely-dressed young man. Hearth smiled sheepishly and ran a hand through his hair. “I believe a bit of an explanation is in order.”

Hearth walked across the room, whispering something to the geisha, whom nodded in reply and urged the guests out. Hearth gestured to his frightened and confused guests as if to tell them to follow him, and they quickly exited the room, leaving the geisha grinning ferally at the conscious guards, crossing the hallway to enter a much less bloody room. Hearth walked until he came to face a wall, spinning on his heels to smile warmly at his guests.

“As you have guessed I am Hearth Ocha, youngest son of the Ocha family. Not only do we own this ancient teahouse, but the successful butler café in town.” He sighed softly before continuing. “Our father—Satan torment his blackened soul in hell—left the teahouse to my older, albeit stupider, brother, and the café to me. Upon inheriting it, I turned it into a butler café.”

“How does that have anything to do with how you just marched in here and killed the fuck out of your brother?!” Kadaj shouted, finally losing his temper. Hearth held out a hand to silence him.

“I was just getting to that part. As you obviously know, the Ocha family has not exactly been the best of friends with the rest of Wutai, catering more towards shady business and dark deals.” His face softened. “My mother's family was not the same. My parents were divorced when I was very young, you see, and my mother made sure to raise me to be loyal and true to Wutai. I was to do anything to stop my brother from committing any of the same treasons that my father had. Of course, I always thought he was too much of an idiot to do anything, so I was quite shocked when I heard what was happening this evening from Staniv and I decided to intervene before my brother ended up doing something stupid. Which he did.”

Hearth crossed the room to Yuffie, whom looked quite shaken, covered in Nai's blood. Slowly, he lowered himself to one knee and grasped her hand in his.

“Your royal grace, Princess Yuffie Kisaragi. Savior of Gaia and future ruler of Wutai. As soul heir of the Ocha family, I humbly apologize for any inconveniences. I swear eternal fealty to you and my beautiful motherland.” Hearth said sincerely, raising his dark claret eyes to meet Yuffie's.

“Um… sure.” She said, teetering left to right as Vincent wrapped his arm around her waist to steady her. “I just think I'm going to pass out now.”

Hearth stood and smiled sincerely, “You do that.”

Yuffie slumped over into Vincent's arms.