Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction / Other Fan Fiction ❯ Protecting the Lion ❯ What Are We Now? ( Chapter 17 )

Chapter Seventeen

What Are We Now?

 

A pale moon had risen high in the night sky. Through sheer curtains, the light cast cool shadows around the dark room. Sprawled on his back, Seifer had managed to ease a sleeping Squall against himself. As the brunet rest a head on his chest, he absently stroked the soft mop of hair. It had already become an odd habit of his.

 

Even after their promiscuous activities, Squall had been distant. Seifer wasn't sure what he should have expected. This new object of his infatuation was certainly not to be held to any previous standards. The brunet had drifted off on the other side of the bed, and didn't seem keen on cuddling up. Unsure whether he should be reading into it at all, Seifer had decided he'd let Squall have his own way until falling asleep. To Seifer's pleasure, he hadn't done much more than shift over and pull Squall to him, and the brunet had automatically furled against him.

 

A pale hand rested nearby the turned sleeping face of the brunet, it seemed to be a childlike pose, as if a small step away from sucking on a thumb.

 

Sleep was eluding the ex-knight. His mind could not quit the events that had taken place between himself and Squall. His feelings had changed for the brunet. That much became apparent when he'd dreamt about him after only a day back. Now, as he acknowledged it all, not to mention acted upon it, he suspected where it came from. From the passion they'd always had as rivals and the past they shared in a twist of fate, he was hopelessly falling for the sleeping lion.

 

Admittedly, he'd always cared about Squall. Never in a romantic sense, at least he was pretty sure that had never been the case. They hadn't been friends, but they were still closer to one another than anyone else. By the time they were the only originals left at the orphanage, it was clear that in the whole world they only had each other. But, being the cocky ass he was, he never would have admitted how much he valued having the brunet under the same roof. Arriving at Garden had been exciting, depressing, and frightening all at once. But, quiet Leonhart had been sent along too, and that had always been a great consolation.

 

The orientation they'd gone through had been a difficult ordeal. For the first time since they were little they had been separated. While they were still both in Balamb Garden, such a facility was huge to the preteens who had known nothing bigger than a small seaside orphanage.

 

Having no reason to be around each other anymore, they'd gone about their academics and new life without each other. However, that hadn't lasted long.

 

Seifer sighed, stilling at the slight stirring his actions caused in the brunet. When he figured that Squall was still sound asleep, he relaxed.

 

Thinking back again, he wondered if his constant focus on taunting Squall had just been an excuse. He could remember being sick of finding his green eyes staring across the cafeteria to a single table where the wildly introverted boy had sat and picked at his meal. Having had his own friends and easily fitting in, he had no reason to concern himself with the brunet. But, that didn't stop his eyes from constantly searching among the crowded students and classrooms, if only to catch sight of the top of a messy mop of chocolate colored hair.

 

In reflection, he realized that what had eventually grown into Garden's most competitive duo had begun as an excuse to be near Squall again.

 

Why hadn't he realized this before? He knew why a moment later, as Squall shifted slightly, gently raking fingertips over his bare chest. Gulping at the way his entire body seemed to react like a sensitive bundle of nerves every time Squall touched him, he was given his answer. Suddenly feeling differently about the brunet, he could better understand their twisted relationship prior to these past few days.

 

When Squall stirred again, Seifer wondered if the thoughts in his mind were loud enough to be heard in the silence of the room. Resuming his petting of the dark strands of hair, he felt the lithe body relax again. A small grin came to his face. The next time this sultry brunet laid beside him in bed, it would be after a satiating night of sex.

 

The pitfall in what they'd already done had been that they were so starved for it that they couldn't hold out. Seifer had been so turned on in the apartment only to not receive what his body wanted. And then to go through the rest of the night with the brunet sitting across from him, knowing his simmering desires and holding it all in had been too much.

 

Just thinking of all the fun activities he could do with this slim and toned body beside him sent a familiar blood rush to his loins. It was almost too good to be true. The one person in the world who was insufferable and determined to achieve greatness in every area of expertise was Squall. From academics to training, Squall had worked to become stronger and smarter than anyone else.

 

With a smirk, Seifer remembered why Squall worked so hard, why they both had worked so hard. It was in order to out do the other, to prove who was better. It was a fundamental part of their rivalry.

 

Now, it was just part of the young Commander's personality, to constantly measure up to the impossible standards set by the rest of the world. The only good part about it was that Squall couldn't stand to not master anything he tried to learn. That meant he had an aspiring new student sleeping next to him, one who knew nothing of all the deliciously perverted things he had to teach.

 

Seifer moved his hand from the mop of hair and trailed it down a smooth bare back. Slipping lower, under the blanket that was drawn up, he groped one of several features Seifer found sinfully appealing. The drool worthy ass of Commander Leonhart was perhaps the only reason everyone made no argument to the brunet not wearing his uniform and donning the leather pants that fit so wonderfully snug.

 

“Nnh,” Squall mumbled through the haze of lifting sleep. Shiva's stifled laughs were still echoing as the snowy world faded. He'd been asking her questions regarding Seifer. She had been junctioned for quite some time, and knew well enough about the blonde when they were still students. But, suddenly she'd begun to laugh and told him he was needed elsewhere.

 

`Sweet Hyne,' Seifer thought, as he felt the brunet arch against his hand. In sleep, when Squall was not aware or able to reign in all traces of emotion, that lithe body was responsive to what it wanted. And, Seifer could not wait to take advantage of that.

 

At the first fluttering of thick lashes, Seifer turned and wrapped his other arm around Squall. Pulling the brunet closer, he shifted their position, so that the smaller man rested against the bed. Before those soft lips could part and speak whatever waking words the sleeping lion might think of, Seifer went right for the sensitive spot of Squall's ear.

 

“Seifer-ngh!” Squall had still been wondering at Shiva's odd behavior when he'd been jolted back to reality by roaming hands and a nipping mouth at his ear.

 

Teasing the soft lobe with his teeth, he felt less guilty about disturbing the brunet's sleep when the first gasping word from Squall's mouth was his own name. He never felt so much love for his own name as when it was called in such a sexy voice that only Squall possessed.

 

Biting his lip, Squall fought to keep control over his body. It was a new and troubling experience to have his body not obeying his mind. He might have been less angry if it didn't seem so much like his body was listening to Seifer's command instead of his own.

 

Shaking off the last remnants of sleep, Squall pulled away from Seifer. Being that the larger blonde was practically on top of him, he really only managed to press back against the bed and turn his head away. “What is it?” he asked, knowing the blonde wouldn't have woken him up after so much arguing the past couple days to get more rest.

 

Propping himself up with tanned arms on either side of the warm body before him, Seifer looked at the profiled head pressed against the pillow. The indifferent attitude that Squall had made him question whether or not the past day had been a momentary distortion, some rift in reality. The sudden doubt that Squall felt anything in the first place was surprisingly scary.

 

Was this it for them? Seifer had been so busy thinking ahead that he failed to question whether there was any future for the two of them with the same sense of passion they held only hours ago. That wasn't right though, not when he'd realized that romantic or otherwise, he'd held feelings for the brunet all along.

 

“Squall,” he spoke softly. The voice of reason in his head was suddenly telling him not to ask, because if he didn't ask then he couldn't receive an answer he didn't want. Ignoring the apprehensive fear, he asked the question bluntly, “What are we now?”

 

From his gaze to the side, Squall slowly turned his head back to face Seifer. The question was a repeat of the one asked at dinner. `What are we now?' Even when asking himself he couldn't find an answer.

 

Looking at the muscular torso hovering over him, Squall felt the stirrings of desire within himself. That was proof enough that his attraction was not a momentary flame that had burned out. Then again, Irvine had often spoken of losing interest after finally having sex. There was no telling whether this was the same or not. They'd cum with each other, but they hadn't had sex yet.

 

Seifer watched as blue-gray eyes flickered over his body. There was no repulsion or tensing from the body beneath him, which was a sign in his favor. But, there was also no delicate hands reaching to clasp behind his neck and draw him down to soft red lips. When Squall raised those bright eyes, which shined even in the darkness, to look into his own, he saw confusion and uncertainty.

 

It occurred to Seifer that the brunet had not spent the last hour musing over everything in silence. He'd have to enlighten the young man to the new revelation he'd come to about their entire relationship up to and including this night. “When we were still first year cadets, I beat up four seniors because they were going to `put you in your place'.”

 

The look on Squall's was priceless. Unbidden emotion changed from annoyance to confusion to anger and back to confusion. Truly his little lion had more emotion under that ice mask than anyone could ever chance to guess.

 

Seifer's words had taken a moment to set in. Squall hadn't exactly seen the relevance to the statement. Was it a confession or just Seifer being completely random? When he considered the implications behind it he became angry. “I could have handled it,” he growled, as if it had all occurred moments ago.

 

Green eyes stared for a moment into the irate stormy eyes of the brunet. Though surprised at the reaction, he should have expected as much. With a soft chuckle he shook his head. “That wasn't the point. And besides, we were first years, you knew nothing of fighting and they were all twice your size.”

 

Brows furrowed, Squall felt insulted, but before he could quip out his own remark in his defense, Seifer stopped him.

 

It was not the most direct approach for Seifer, but he wasn't exactly thinking straight with his chest feeling tight and his brain telling him to do something quick before Squall flat out said to get the hell away from him and never touch him again. “I had seen them watching you-”

 

“Seifer,” Squall interrupted, not seeing the point and wanting to know why the blonde was acting so weird all of a sudden. Seifer, however, seemed rather adamant about whatever he was on about, and silenced him by roughly kissing him suddenly. Even if he didn't want to, Squall was helpless to the way all thoughts left his head, his body responded automatically. Disappointingly, Seifer pulled back as abruptly as he'd initiated the contact. Already, Squall didn't like how this weakness was growing.

 

The stubborn brunet would never give him the chance to make himself clear, and if that were the case he'd just have to forcibly make him listen. “They were watching you, everyone seemed to always watch you. You were silent and stubborn and when you refused to make nice with them, they all thought you were stuck up.” It seemed Squall had caught on that he wanted the attention for the moment. Blue-gray eyes just looked up at him while those pout lips formed a frown in resignation. “You should have known that you'd piss people off like that.” He smirked as those bright eyes narrowed as if to tell him he'd best make his point quickly. “I told them that the only person who could kick your ass was me. From then on your enemies became mine.”

 

The sentiment behind Seifer's words was most unbecoming. Squall had no idea what that sentiment was, but it was still meaningful if only for the fact that the blonde was hardly ever serious and not yelling at him at the same time. “I'm not going to thank you for something I didn't ask you to do.” Did Seifer think he was going to be grateful? He could have handled it himself. He might not have had much training back then, but he could still get nasty if he was pushed far enough.

 

Green eyes widened for a moment, before softening with amusement. `Any girl that I've ever slept with would have thought I'd made a marriage proposal with that confession, and he just resents me for protecting him.' It both infuriated him and made him all the more attracted to the man. Cringing at his most un-Seifer-like display of seriousness, he braced himself for what he was about to say. Squall wouldn't understand it if he wasn't blunt, so he'd be just that. “I can't say that I ever wanted to fuck you like I do now, but I think there may have always been something.”

 

“…” Squall had opened his mouth to speak, thinking perhaps he'd tell Seifer what an idiot he was being or just yell at him again for going behind his back to protect him all those years ago. But, nothing came out. The blonde made a valid point, surprisingly. Maybe this wasn't some recent change of feelings. If there was one matter that Squall would give serious thought to, it was trying to understand why he suddenly wanted to be with Seifer like this.

 

Even with Seifer looking down at him with questioning eyes, he didn't reply. He was thinking, trying to find another side to their age-old rivalry. One would think, after learning that his whole life had been spurred on from behind the scenes with a guiding hand from a worried Sorceress, that he'd have an open mind. But, to think that his relationship with Seifer had been anything other than conflict and the butting of heads was difficult, even as he lay naked beneath the man.

 

When Squall closed his eyes and seemed unmoved by anything he'd said, Seifer felt a sinking feeling in his chest. It was painful to breath and the lump in his throat wouldn't let him swallow properly. Squall didn't see it. It was one sided, and the brunet was only responding to years of pent up sexual frustration. Here he was getting giddy like a fucking little schoolgirl over events that would never come to pass. Was such a short-lived moment of passionate desire between them enough to make him hooked? Hadn't knowing the brunet for the past fourteen years given him enough intuition about how it would all turn out? Looking down again and seeing the impassive expression on that pale face made him feel longing. He'd forget it. A few kisses, a few touches. It was nothing more than that. Just a fluke. He'd always wanted what he couldn't have. That was all it was, and in the morning they'd forget.

 

Rolling off the brunet, he ignored the coldness that washed over him, even with the blanket drawn up. As he settled away from the slim and unmoving figure, he felt a surge of anger at himself. Pathetically weak, he had fallen to such a low and vulnerable state. It was enough to make him wish he could be as detached as Squall was able to be.

 

Between his indecision to leave the bed and get dressed Seifer almost didn't hear Squall finally speak.

 

“When you left,” Squall spoke softly, saying the words as soon as he thought them. “I thought you were gone for good.” Worrying his lip, he forced himself to speak the words just as he had when Matron made him and Seifer apologize to each other after a fight. “It felt like when Ellone had left.” The blonde suddenly snapped his head around and looked at him with a fierce stare. Undeterred, he continued, “But, after a few days I realized that you weren't Ellone or everybody else.”

 

Scoffing, Squall moved to sit up, propped back on his hands and slouching back slightly so the blanket didn't pull down too far. Seifer was still looking at him intensely, as though Squall was about to reveal the secret of life. “It wasn't like you'd really left, but found yet another way to piss me off. I was so sure that it was just temporary, because the world couldn't spin if we weren't together to fight anymore.”

 

An uncertain grin came to Seifer's face. It was true. No one would believe that the pair of them could have a future that didn't involve fighting with each other.

 

“I felt that way until news of your execution reached us.” Squall smiled knowingly as Seifer's grin fell and his eyes looked at him with shock. “We all thought you were dead… that was worse than Ellone. At that point I didn't even have all my memories of our time together, but it still hurt.” The glare Squall gave Seifer was a bit misleading. “You'll always be a bastard for making me feel like that. I was never scared, not even when I thought I was alone without Sis, but when I thought you would become nothing more than a memory, I was scared that one of the Guardian Forces would take that away too.”

 

Seifer didn't know how to respond. He didn't want to get his hopes up, only to feel the painful squeezing of his heart again.

 

“I don't know what we are now. None of it makes any sense, but since when has anything we ever did made sense?” Squall looked at him and shrugged. At this point he just didn't care anymore. If he hadn't been able to figure it out by now, then he probably never would. Leaning over he stretched up to meet Seifer's lips and placed a small kiss on them before sitting back again. “Friends with benefits, I suppose.”

 

Groaning with frustration Seifer raked a hand through his hair before giving in. Slyly, he looked back at the brunet. The younger fighter was tantalizingly reposed with a smooth lean body the he knew to feel so nice against his own. “We've never been friends, but I could settle for the benefits.”

 

Chuckling Squall quipped back, “Does that mean I don't have to get you anything for your birthday?”

 

“No, I've already made a deal about my present this year,” he said, thinking back on his cocky comment to Cowboy. “It just means that we don't have to make nice, but instead skip to the good part.”

 

“Should I feel insulted that you just want me for my body?” Squall said, quirking a brow.

 

“Probably” Seifer decided that they'd done enough talking, which was probably a first considering Squall hardly ever talked. Reaching out, pulled Squall to him, blanket left behind.

 

As Seifer was kissing the brunet, he decided that it was quite possible to become addicted after just one taste. At this rate, the Commander would never leave his apartment again. Hell, it'd be a miracle if they managed to leave this room and get back to Garden.

 

Neither could help but feel the world was conspiring against them when light flashed through the window and a loud explosion sounded in the distance. Breaking apart, they were both nearly dressed again when the dull shaking reached them. If Seifer had been an optimist he would have been thankful that it had happened while he was pounding into the brunet. But as a pessimist he was royally pissed that it hadn't happened until after he'd had his way.

 

Squall was simply pissed that he had to bother at all, and could only hope the body count was zero and that Garden didn't get dragged into anything.

 

They hastily left the room after grabbing their respective gunblades.