Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction / Other Fan Fiction ❯ Protecting the Lion ❯ One Step Closer ( Chapter 37 )

Chapter Thirty-Seventh

One Step Closer

 

“Come on, it's not that noticeable,” Seifer assured, his voice drifting in from the entryway. Stubborn was an understatement when describing Squall.

 

After leaving his bandage in the corridor outside the Training Center, he was unable to find it again. “I'm putting another bandage on it,” Squall affirmed for the fifth time since they'd left the locker room. With a hand clasped to his throat, he'd done his best to appear as inconspicuous as possible during their trek to his apartment.

 

“I'll just make another,” Seifer retorted, deftly pulling the lace on his boot to untie it.

 

Squall balanced against the wall as he took his boots off. While he was usually just slipping out of them or pulling them on, there was no rush. Casting a glare at the mumbling knight he swat the hand that pinched his ass. “If I let you,” he growled back.

 

“Don't get prude on me now Leonhart, not when you're getting so damn good,” Seifer said with a grin. Swiftly, he hooked an arm around the smaller man's waist. Turning Squall about, he held him up against his body. With no immediate protests against his manhandling, he felt encouraged to move further in and perhaps fool around a little. Lowering one arm to hook under the brunet's shapely bottom, he lifted the lighter man off the ground. He briefly wondered if it was healthy for Squall to be so light.

 

“I can walk,” Squall pointed out, his feet hovering off the floor. However, his words didn't match his actions as he wrapped his arms around the tan knight's neck. His lips remained a hair's width away from Seifer's, taunting the man and vying for control. He almost laughed when the gripping arms tightened at his teasing.

 

“Not when I get done with you,” Seifer joked. He honestly couldn't see himself going that far with Squall so soon, but that didn't mean their time had to be any less enjoyable together. Taking the bait, he gave an annoyed grunt before crushing his lips to Squall's. The brunet hadn't quite been ready, but the action was returned promptly.

 

Seifer wasn't even sure if his steps were in the right direction, he was too consumed by the sweet taste of that wet mouth. When Squall pulled back slightly and sucked on his tongue, he very nearly dropped the brunet.

 

A hand ran up Squall's shirt, caressing the smooth flesh. He realized he wouldn't be able to multi-task with such a distraction as the Commander kissing him like that. Halting at where he thought the kitchen's eating counter was, he let Squall slide down agonizingly slow to the floor, never breaking away.

 

The stools were in the way, but he gracefully rectified that as he shoved them out of the way. As a couple of the stools clattered to the ground, he grabbed Squall's hips and placed him atop the counter, only leaving those lips for a moment.

 

With a lingering hand on the brunet's knee, he stepped between parted legs and continued to ravish the man. This time, all his attention was focused, and the experience was all the better for it.

 

Sadly, his enjoyment was short lived, as a screeching cry pierced his ears.

 

Hanging his head dejectedly, Seifer took a moment for self-pity. Was it too much to ask for, just a few days of uninterrupted sessions with Squall? Hadn't they been interrupted enough? From the brat, to the cowboy, to limited amounts of time. After fourteen years of fighting, didn't they deserve another decade or so of mind-blowing sex?

 

Though Squall's legs stiffened, he refused to step back and let the brunet compose himself. As if making a proud display of what'd he'd been after, Seifer turned around, never leaving his place between those slim legs.

 

Recognizing that voice, the blond was on a possessive guard immediately. Before Squall could move away, the last resort being to either push passed him or go backwards into the kitchen, Seifer wrapped an arm around the pale boy's slim waist. Holding Squall close, Seifer raised his chin slightly in a defiant air. Glaring at the stricken young woman, he waited.

 

Rinoa stood stock-still, staring in disbelief. Unable to utter proper words, she spoke the only sound that her lips would help her voice form. “Sq-quall?” she questioned, moving for the first time, only to straighten her stance.

 

“Rinoa?” Squall questioned back, his tone incredulous. Futilely he tried to shift down from the countertop. “Seifer,” he hissed out in a low tone of warning.

 

Narrowing his green eyes at the raven-haired girl, who had yet to look at him, Seifer refused to release his hold. Knowing where his actions would lead him, Seifer compromised by bringing Squall down from the counter. With his arm still firmly in place, he allowed Squall to stand, but only while pressed to his side. His behavior might earn him a black eye or a week of abstinence from Squall, but he didn't care, so long as it was crystal clear that the Commander was with him now.

 

Dark brows creased closer as Rinoa surveyed the scene. “I thought… I came here to….” She was at a loss of what to say. Now, all of Irvine's little innuendos made sense. The gunman's voice echoed in her mind, `You'll have to get in line if you want Squall back.'. She'd been waiting, watching the TV, surprised at the number of channels, when suddenly the pair came in.

 

She had learned that Seifer was acting as Squall's bodyguard, so it hadn't surprised her to hear them together. Though she had been initially surprised that they could stand to be near each other without killing one another, she'd figured it had something to do with a soldier's duty, or some nonsense like putting aside differences for the greater good. As expected, their voices had filtered through with an arguing tone that had often been described to her by the others.

 

She'd turned the TV off, and shifted to give them a warm greeting, hoping to melt the ice left after their last meeting. But, what she'd expected to happen and what actually took place were on opposite ends of the event spectrum.

 

Her first sight had been of Seifer Almasy, her first boyfriend, groping and kissing Squall, the second man she'd ever fallen in love with. Perhaps the most shocking and mind numbing observation came when they were so involved her presence was completely overlooked. Not to mention, she'd never kissed either man like that. Squall had his mouth open, something they'd never really done.

 

Shocked beyond speech, she'd watched in wide-eyed awe as the two gruffly lost themselves. She couldn't even tell whose tongue was in whose mouth, there could no mistaking the intent behind it. Not some dare that the others might have set up, not some innocent little experiment.

 

The breaking point had been when they seemed more than ready to go even further. Crying out for them to stop, she watched, as Seifer seemed to regard her as some sort of perilous threat. Vaguely, she noticed that Squall's eyes were a beautiful color blue that she'd never seen before. Had his eyes always been blue?

 

Unable to think properly, she turned to Squall to provide some explanation for the scene she'd just witnessed.

 

Embarrassed and confused, Squall didn't know if he should be blushing or asking questions. Having been caught red handed, it would be no use to shrug the blond's hold off. Forget covering his neck, he had to cover Rinoa's mouth.

 

`Dammit! Why weren't there any courses for these things?' Squall wondered when he couldn't find suitable words to fill the silence.

 

Sensing the younger man's distress, Seifer decided he was better suited to handle the situation anyway. “Do you often break into other people's homes when they're not there?”

 

Brown eyes shifted to stare at the blond knight. Though they had parted on perfectly amicable terms, she detected a cold and rough edge to the tanned man's voice. The same tone that made her feel so small, just like when they'd showed up at the hotel.

 

Before she could say that the matter was between her and Squall, she suddenly realized why Seifer had remained by the Commander's side when she broke up with him before, and why he stood firmly beside Squall now.

 

Defensively, Rinoa responded, “I didn't break in, I had the code.”

 

“Yeah, and with nobody home you just sat right down,” Seifer retorted. The painful twisting of the skin on the back of his hand told him to behave. Coughing abruptly, he corrected, “Je m'excuse, c'était impoli de moi. Mais vous voyez, j'adore Leonhart. Il est le mien, et je ne veux pas que vous le salissiez.” (I apologize, that was rude of me. But you see, I love Leonhart. He is mine, and I don't want you messing it up.)

 

“Seifer,” Squall said softly, looking up at the knight's profile. The arm around him gave a small squeeze in response, but the blond never looked down at him.

 

Angry, Rinoa managed to catch a few words and Squall's name, but no meaning. While Seifer's tone wasn't aggressive, he'd still attacked her. “You know I hate it when you do that,” she huffed in indignation. Seifer was taken deliberate measures to piss her off.

 

“C'est pour pourquoi je l'ai fait,” (That is why I did it,) the ex-knight adeptly responded, the words forming smoothly.

 

“Stop,” Squall said, seeing the anger it caused in Rinoa.

 

“Leonhart ga daisukidesu yo.” (I love Leonhart.) With a grin, Seifer turned his amused eyes to the startled young woman. He'd always picked on her for giving up on learning French, but he knew well enough that she was fairly fluent in Japanese.

 

Swallowing, she fought against frustrated tears. Seifer was just being mean and she didn't understand any of it. “What's going on?”

 

Squall didn't understand why Rinoa seemed so upset at Seifer's words. Although they seemed mockingly polite, the ex-knight hadn't said anything that should be making her cry. Was she just distraught over seeing them together? But, hadn't she broken up with him? Or was this just how the public would respond to seeing them together?

 

“Rinoa, why are you here?” Squall finally asked, hoping his words weren't taken the wrong way.

 

Brows furrowed, Rinoa felt hurt by Squall's words. Why shouldn't she be here? After all they had been through together, not just her and Squall, but everyone else. It was then she realized he hadn't meant it like that. No, Squall didn't have a very good way with words. In fact, he probably could have conveyed it better through a meaningful gaze. “I came to see you,” she replied.

 

“I thought, after what you said….” he trailed off, his confusion growing exponentially as he recalled her words on that day. She'd pleaded with him to leave, and he had. But, now she was here, and he didn't know why.

 

Doing her best to push aside what she'd just seen, she explained in clear words that Squall would understand, “When I found out what happened on the news, I was so worried. I never stopped loving you, and after that happened I realized that running away wasn't going to change that. I just got frustrated with it all, I'm not used to people who aren't open about their feelings… and, well, I guess I needed a break from it all. I wanted to apologize and talk things out.” If she didn't state her meaning clearly, then the Commander, who was not known for his proficiency in matters of the heart, would not understand.

 

Seifer's heart was beating faster with each passing moment. Of all the times to start doubting Squall and the relationship he hoped to have, right then was the worst possible moment. Clenching his jaw, his arm held on to the lithe form even tighter. Squall had admitted to not knowing whether he'd been in love with the young sorceress, and Seifer concluded that it wasn't so. But, if he'd been wrong, then this would be the window of opportunity for the Commander to leave.

 

It wasn't as though he could force Squall to stay with him. Perhaps this whole thing had been some twisted punishment. He finally finds that one love that completely takes him by surprise and consumes him entirely, only to lose it and be rejected.

 

Glancing up at Seifer, Squall was a bit shocked to find the man's eyes hurting in anguish. He could see the knight's jaw muscle clenching as though gritting against some pain. Concerned, the brunet turned his attention to the blond. He couldn't read minds, but he could read body language. Raising a hand, he placed it over a broad chest, feeling the fast beat of a heart.

 

Startled green eyes stared down at him. Frowning, Squall tilted his head while trying to understand. Usually he was better at figuring things out without words, but he was more recently finding that wasn't the case with Seifer.

 

Seifer watched Squall, the display endearingly cute and making him hurt all the more for it. Perhaps he hadn't considered every aspect of something like this happening. He couldn't knowingly say that Squall was with him for more than sex. After all, they had gotten together at a time when the Commander was stressed out and without his girlfriend. They'd only progressed further after the brunet had been rejected. It sounded like a typical rebound scenario now that he put into a different perspective.

 

Not only that, but Squall was concerned about the public image. Everyone already knew, and still thought, that Rinoa Heartily was the Commander's girlfriend. It hadn't even mattered that she was a sorceress. She fit the role perfectly. She was a political activist, daughter of General Caraway, hero of the war, and she was a chipper little angel that warmed everyone's heart.

 

On the other hand, there was him. Seifer Almasy, Ultimecia's knight, arrogant, and known for pissing people off. Not to mention, if he became Squall's boyfriend, that would label the two as gay lovers. The press would have a field day with their relationship, and Squall would never hear the end of it.

 

Hyne, how could he have been so stupid? It was all staring him right in the face, but he'd ignored it, thinking that if he held onto that slim waist tightly enough it wouldn't matter.

 

And now, those stark blue eyes looked up at with such concern that he couldn't even relinquish his hopes.

 

Unable to take that caring look in Squall's eyes any longer, he broke their gaze and turned his head away. He could fight for the Commander's affections all he wanted, but knowing Squall, it would never make a difference once that stubborn mind had chosen.

 

A dawning understanding came to Squall. `Idiot,' the younger man mentally called Seifer. `And he calls me moody,' he thought, scoffing internally at the abrupt change in the knight's demeanor.

 

Lowering his hand from the taller man's chest, Squall stepped away from the now loosened grip around his waist. Not bothering to watch the blond's reaction to his movement, he felt compelled to speak bluntly. “I've already forgiven you, though you may want to talk with the others. I know there is a reason why people call me the Ice Prince, and I'm sorry that I hurt you. I care about you, and I thought you knew that, without me saying it all the time.” Raking a hand through his hair, he took a moment to think over his words before saying them. “I'm not in love with you.”

 

Yes, he was more certain about that fact after vocalizing it. He continued, “I'm honored that you feel that way for me, but I can't return it. As I'm sure you've already noticed, there is someone else in my life.” He wondered if he'd said it correctly, there were just too many different ways to misconstrue things like this.

 

The first of many tears swelling in Rinoa's eyes spilt over, running down her cheek. Too consumed by what was going on, she didn't even notice that she'd begun to cry. “You and Seifer are together?” Her voice was barely higher than a whisper.

 

“Yes,” Squall confirmed.

 

Hiccupping, she spoke through the first sob that tried to convulse her chest, “Romantically?” she questioned, knowing the answer and feeling rather dumb for asking, but still needing to hear it spoken aloud.

 

“Yes,” Squall confirmed again.

 

A soft chuckle escaped her as she replayed the image of the two of them going at it only a few minutes ago. She felt hurt on so many different levels. She knew what she'd done, leaving Squall like that, had been wrong, but he also held some fault. Never opening up to her hurt deeply, and that was why she ran. Then, she finds out that he moved on in the time frame of a few days. She couldn't help but thinking that Squall had never felt anything for her to begin with and she'd just been strung along. He certainly never kissed her like that, which only affirmed her theory that he'd never felt anything in the first place.

 

She didn't know which hurt more, being with the Commander and not being able to break that icy exterior or finding out that it wasn't because Squall was unreachable, but that she was the one who couldn't get through.

 

It was common knowledge among the band of war heroes, that Seifer and Squall had a past together. However, no one had told her that they weren't really enemies, but lovers. Such a piece of information might have come in handy when trying to become Squall's lover herself. “You were gay?” she asked, not having the foresight to keep some things to herself.

 

Not fazed by the question, Squall answered, “No”

 

“But, you're involved with another man?” she spat incredulously. The last thing she needed now was to be patronized. She was not some fool to be deceived any longer.

 

Looking her directly in the eyes, he held her gaze firmly. “Gender is a trivial matter,” he stated soundly.

 

“Don't lie to me!” she shouted, unable to control her emotions.

 

Not looking away, Squall said calmly, “I've never lied to you.”

 

“You have,” she sobbed, “Our whole relationship was a lie. You loving me was a lie!”

 

Blinking, Squall retreated, stung by her words. “I never said I loved you,” he spoke just loud enough for her to hear across the room. It was true, he hadn't ever professed such an emotion to her. Like a jolting slap, he became aware that there truly was a part of him missing.

 

It had never bothered him before, for the simple fact that he'd never really thought about it. Love, what was it and why did anyone need it? According to the stories from people and books, it clouded the mind and made people do unreasonable and uncharacteristic things. If he was a mercenary, love was something he should avoid.

 

An attachment of deep meaning could be used against a SeeD. That was logical. But, he had never really been against it. It hadn't mattered to him, and so he'd been completely ambivalent to it.

 

However, now he was finding himself incapable of it. Cold and heartless, he truly was an Ice Prince. Perhaps all his emotions were fake, just constructed from his logical side, to make him pass for a normal human being. But, how could anyone tell the difference between an emotion and the brain's conceptual creation of an emotion.

 

Not wanting to think about, Squall tried to push it aside. For now, he would take relief in believing that he was over analyzing everything and creating problems where there were none. He would take relief in the belief that he did feel emotions, and he could fall in love as easily as anyone else, it just hadn't happened yet.

 

A firm hand on his shoulder snapped him away from his internal reverie, effectively pushing his thoughts down.

 

Seifer had watched and listened. It took every bit of willpower not to interfere. He so desperately wanted to ignore everything and just pull Squall to him and never let go. It might have worked, if it were anyone other than the stubborn Commander. Doing that with Squall would ensure the brunet would refuse him just to prove independence.

 

When the lips he loved to touch formed those sweet words, he nearly broke out in a victory dance. Squall not only chose him, but stated that he'd never loved her.

 

Forgetting his previous insecurities, he was encouraged to become Squall's first love. He'd turn the brunet's head so far around that there would be no going back, no being with anyone but him.

 

Reaching out, he gripped a slender shoulder, letting the warmth send a shiver of delight through his body. Stepping closer, he drew Squall against him, wrapping his arms around the brunet's torso. Burying his face into the soft mop of hair, he gave a small kiss to the top of the brunet's head.

 

Grinning impishly, Seifer turned his attention to the raven-haired girl. Winking, his green eyes sparkled with the winning of an unofficial battle. “Boys will be boys,” he stated smoothly, never ceasing his cocky grin.

 

There was a part of Seifer that sympathized with Rinoa, seeing those tears and knowing exactly what she'd lost. But, in the long run, she would heal and move on, and be more mature for the experience. Sometimes a `sorry and I promise not to do it again' just didn't work. And sometimes, there were people who could not be swayed by a constant smile and cheerful attitude. They would have been miserable together. She'd run from that misery in the first place. Coming back after a short break didn't change anything.

 

As Rinoa fled the room, Seifer held fast to the brunet in his arms, feeling the body tense and make ready to follow.

 

“Let her go,” the blond whispered into the Commander's ear.

 

Squall started to object, “But-”

 

“No, she needs time to herself, and I know you understand that,” he admonished.

 

“Hai,” (Yes) Squall whispered softly, falling further into the embrace.

 

Resting a cheek on the brunet's head, Seifer couldn't rid himself of the grin that pulled his lips upwards. “Nihongo wa hanshimasu ka?” (You speak Japanese?)

 

“Baka, we took all the same classes. Je peux parler français aussi.” (Idiot, we took all the same classes. I can speak French too.)

 

“Well, it wasn't a secret any way,” Seifer conceded, wishing their class schedules had been exactly the same, then they could have competed on every level.

 

“You were being childish,” Squall huffed.

 

“Peut-être,” (Maybe,) he admitted. But, making people upset was what he was good at.