Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction / Other Fan Fiction ❯ Protecting the Lion ❯ A Not So Secret, Secret ( Chapter 43 )

Chapter Forty-Three

A Not So Secret, Secret

 

Half a mile up, not long at all, but long enough for Seifer to know that Squall was doing more than heavy thinking. Sand turned into grass, and then into snow. By the time the group had trekked a third of the way back, Seifer was trailing a few steps behind everyone else.

 

Green eyes watched as the Commander walked with a gracefully, but with a troubled, stride, as though physically weighed down. With hands firmly shoved into the pockets of a bomber jacket, the brunet kept his head lowered and eyes trained to the ground.

 

What should have been a fun walk, filled with staring at Squall's cute ass and swaying hips, was instead terribly oppressing.

 

At that particular moment in time, Seifer would have given Hyperion away, or at least lent it, if he could only read minds. It wouldn't even have to be plural, just one mind, Squall's mind.

 

While dealing with the stubborn lion was not new to him, it was extremely uncommon that Squall shut him out like all the others. Never had the brunet remained holed up inside while around him. Either they were arguing and clashing blades or, more recently, they were screwing each other senseless. Very different activities, but they all had a similar characteristic of Squall being open around him.

 

He couldn't exactly say that Squall was shutting him out. After all, it had only been a whole twenty minutes since they'd left the beach. But, if he included the time since Squall voiced some trouble bothering him, then it was at least a day.

 

Not for the first time, he resolved to deal with it when they were in a more private setting.

 

**

 

The last person Seifer wanted to deal with was the thieving brat Valdez. So, while Squall went with Tilmitt to see the kid, he'd have a visit with his posse, to break the good news. Though he wasn't exactly sure that Raijin and Fujin would care one way or the other.

 

With any luck, by the time he returned the apartment, Squall would miss him enough to open up. Then again, he couldn't place any bets on the brunet, especially not on the inner workings of the man.

 

 

Feet propped up on a solid rectangular table, Seifer reclined in the eerie silence of the library. The librarian kept giving him scathing looks, but he was never reprimanded. Becoming Ultimecia's knight had an upside, even if it was minimal compared to the downside. While he didn't loath human contact, not like Squall, he didn't enjoy following the rules. But, there were no rules to follow if no one dared to enforce them, or so his twisted logic surmised.

 

Perhaps pissing people off was a type of stress reliever. He could have chosen a table in the back, but he remained out in the open, in full view of the unhappy senior cadet acting as the librarian of the day, or week, or however it went. Then again, with his current position, he could monitor who came in and out. So, it was a win, win. Convenient and he got to annoy someone.

 

The library had changed since he'd been there last. The tall columns extended further, a good ten rows further. And, there was left over room. It seemed that Squally-boy really was an avid reader, and donated more funds for the archiving of books. Though, the chairs weren't any more comfortable. Tall windows on the far end let in light from the remaining day. Facing east, the sky outside showed the first traces of the approaching night. The light blue color of the walls did well to brighten the room, so did the ceiling lights hanging down from high above. Each table was positioned below, or close to, a light.

 

Beside the windows were more comfortable looking armchairs, cushioned for the more long-term readers.

 

Seifer could just imagine Squall spending the whole day there. From dawn `til dusk. The brunet was probably on a first name basis with the librarian.

 

With a green eyed glare, he threw a dirty look to the female librarian, not liking the idea of her being too familiar with Squall.

 

Before his mind could wander to thinking about Squall again, he shook his head. He'd deal with the Commander later, for now his only sanctuary was to not think about it, which was proving difficult.

 

Balancing precariously on two legs of the plain wooden chair, the ex-knight leaned back even further. Tilting his head, he glanced at the clock on the wall. Reading it upside down, he noted that Raijin and Fujin should be arriving any second now.

 

The sudden slamming of books onto the table jolted him again from his little circus act. Before his boots could be shoved off the tabletop by an angry looking red-eyed woman, he retracted them quickly. The change of weight distribution pulled the chair back to all four legs with a resounding thud.

 

“Fujin,” Seifer greeted with a wide smile. Aside from his inappropriate library behavior he didn't have any idea why she might be upset. After a moment's thought he ventured further that it might be his lack of contact and appreciation. “I wanted to thank you for checking on that one reporter for me.”

 

The silver haired young woman just glared harshly. Roughly pulling the chair on the other side out, she sat down stiffly. A stack of books sat before her, which she slid to the side in order to better see the blond man.

 

“What's wrong?” Seifer asked defensively, not willing to take the blame even if he was responsible.

 

“The Commander,” Fujin hissed out, lacking her usual loudness for the sake of being in a library.

 

“Princess is fine,” Seifer assured. He watched the woman carefully, looking for any hint or tip off. There was always a chance that his friends already knew about him and Squall. Considering he hadn't tried to hide it very well, there might already be rumors flying around.

 

With a firm set jaw, the red-eyed woman leaned half way across the table. Whispering, she said, “You were hired as a bodyguard, not to play some new game.”

 

“What game?” Seifer questioned angrily. It was real nice to know that his loyal friend was defending someone else.

 

“Seifer, this isn't funny,” Fujin pressed on, “Go to the training center and fight or something, but don't… don't jerk him around like this. This is a new low.”

 

Green eyes narrowed dangerously. “First of all, thanks for your warm wishes, we're doing fine together.”

 

“Seifer,” Fujin warned. If she ever chose to speak more than two words at a time, then it was a serious matter. So, her cocky friend should be taking her seriously.

 

“No,” Seifer hissed, a bit loudly, catching the attention of a few cadets nearby. “I thought you would have had my back in this. How did you find out anyway?”

 

“I told her,” Raijin's deep voice answered as the big man approached.

 

With a gruff sigh, Seifer ran a hand through his hair and slouched in his seat. It would seem his friends already knew, and neither of them were too happy. “Let me guess, the kid told you.”

 

“Naw,” Raijin replied, pulling a chair from the side of the table. Lifting the sturdy seat like a toothpick, he set it down backwards beside Fujin. Straddling it, he sat down and regarded the blond knight whom he'd vowed to remain loyal to, no matter what. While he was still Seifer's friend foremost, he was not too pleased with the recent happenings between the two rivaling gunbladists.

 

“Then how?” Seifer asked, wondering just how wide spread a rumor was circulating.

 

“You rub everybody the wrong way. There was nothing odd about Rui not liking you at first.” Raijin explained, avoiding Seifer's question for the moment.

 

Grunting, Seifer folded his arms. “Tell me something I don't know.” It was a delayed moment of processing the burly man's words before Seifer tacked on, “Wait, you make it sound like the brat doesn't hate me.”

 

With unamused chuckling, Fujin commented, “Quite the contrary. Now, you're like some idol.”

 

Confused brows drew together while green eyes scanned the soft features of the silver haired woman for lies. “Are we talking `bout the same kid?”

 

“The very same,” Fujin answered. “He's apparently beyond grateful that you saved the Commander from Epson's evil clutches.” Her voice held a sarcastic tone.

 

Grumbling, Seifer complained, “First he hates me, now he likes me. Damn kid can't make up his pee brained mind.”

 

“How very hypocritical of you,” Fujin said sharply.

 

Narrowing his green eyes again, Seifer looked from one solemn face to the other. “What they hell has your panties in a twist?”

 

“This game of yours,” Fujin answered.

 

Raijin immediately backed the red-eyed woman up, “Yeah, it's like not cool, ya know?”

 

“Game?” Seifer questioned calmly and innocently.

 

“You're always playing games with Leonhart, but this is a bit too much,” Fujin supplied.

 

Lips pressed together in a thin line, Seifer waited a moment before responding. “Since when do you two dance around the subject so much? You haven't even told me what you know, how you know, or why you're so opposed to it in the first place.”

 

Muscles arms propped against the table and supported Raijin's large frame as he leaned forward. “We know that you and Leonhart are foolin' around.”

 

“People talk,” Fujin explained.

 

“Well, what are these people saying?” Seifer pressed for details, beginning to lose his patience.

 

“These people,” Fujin began locking her eye with the blond's, “are the curious pencil pushers who noticed that Caraway's girl hasn't been around. Raijin and I have been running press control for Trepe, and since you and the Commander can't keep your hands off each other, our job has been near impossible.”

 

With a small grin, Seifer queried with his boyish charm, “Was it the hot tub, the conference room, Ragnarok, his bedroom, my bedroom, the shower, or the kitchen?”

 

“Hyne Seifer, we don't need to know that,” Raijin commented. With a shake of black hair, he forced himself to not picture his friend and the Commander together.

 

Fujin stared into green eyes, her amusement had run dry some time ago. “Obviously you have no taste for discretion.”

 

“Would you?” the blond countered.

 

“YES,” she spoke loudly. When everything in the large room came to a halt, she gave a small smile toward the librarian and silently begged for forgiveness. Turning her attention back to her cocky friend, she reined her voice in before speaking again. “End it before you hurt him,” she pleaded.

 

“Hurt him?” Seifer questioned with mock innocence. At this point, he'd begun to understand what his friends were so upset about.

 

“We might not know Leonhart like the rest of them, but we know enough. With Heartily gone, the Commander's on the rebound. I'll support you no matter what, but please don't make me support you while you play some game with Leonhart like this. It's not our style, ya know?”

 

Never taking his eyes from Fujin's, Seifer continued to draw the conversation out. If they weren't going to be direct, then neither was he. “Game?” he questioned again, wanting them to be the first to break down and be blunt.

 

“Yeah, game, ya know? Gettin' yur jollies off with the Commander and stuff. I mean, as much as it'll give me nightmares, I can't see you playin' the female. This is just some warped control thing. Instead of using Hyperion, well….” Scratching dark spiky hair, Raijin trailed off with a faint blush. After a moment he added on, “Ya know?”

 

Clenching his jaw, Seifer contained his anger. If the two people before him were anyone else, he would have begun yelling. Then again, if it was anyone else he probably wouldn't feel so bad.

 

Had six months away really hurt their friendship this much? How could they think that he'd do something like that? Screw Leonhart just to prove he could, just to have some ultimate form of control. Something like that…. He would never be capable of it. Murder? Yes, he was capable of that easily enough. Torture? Rage? Yes, yes.

 

There were probably more bad qualities about him than good. But, to hurt Squall, that was ludicrous. If anything, he'd lost all control he ever had. Aside from never hurting Squall, he went out of his way to make sure that others didn't either. Granted, he'd probably cause a few scratches and bruises in spars still to come, but things like that wouldn't harmful to the Commander. And, it wasn't because it was his job. If he weren't absolutely certain that the little lion was safely tucked in at night, usually within his arms, then he'd never be able to sleep.

 

“I think you've been too busy trying to cover up what's going on that you haven't actually seen what's really happened,” he said, lowering his eyes to stare at the swirling lines of the wooden tabletop.

 

“What do you mean?” Fujin questioned. Her voice was a bit softer than before. The dejected way the blond hung his head made her feel as though she'd gone too far. Maybe it wasn't their business, even if they should have a say in what they supported.

 

Looking up at his two friends sternly, Seifer glared from one to the other. “I'll forgive you only because you were looking out for Squall's best interest.”

 

Fujin blinked. Reaching up, she readjusted the dark patch that covered her left eye.

 

Seifer waited just long enough to see Raijin squirm a bit. “I'm in love with Squall,” he stated bluntly.

 

Slowly, Fujin retracted her hand from her face. “Could you repeat that?” she requested, not thinking she'd heard right.

 

With a soft chuckle, Seifer relaxed slightly. “Why? Didn't believe me the first time?”

 

Raijin shifted awkwardly, not quite knowing what to do. “I doubt I'd believe it the millionth time ya said it,” he commented with unease.

 

“You and the logical side of my brain have something in common,” the knight commented wryly. Truthfully, he'd already accepted the matter completely, but for the sake of seeming within his sane mind for his friends, he'd tell a white lie.

 

“Seifer, is this a joke?” Raijin asked, his brown eyes almost pleading with the blond knight for it to be a joke.

 

“No,” the blond affirmed harshly. He didn't like the idea of his friends thinking any of it was a joke. Sensing that they would need some token of sincerity, aside from making out with Squall, he leaned closer and admitted, “I've never felt like this before.”

 

“Hyne,” Fujin whispered, staring blankly at the stack of books nearby. Something like this hadn't ever crossed her mind, but now it made sense. Seifer would never have screwed around like that, which would have meant he was serious. It was almost relieving, but at the same time, all the more frustrating. “You and Leonhart never fooled around before, right?” she asked, thinking back to all the arguments and fights.

 

“No,” the blond reassured with a shake of blond hair. “This is a new development.”

 

Silver hair fluttered as Fujin snapped her head up. “You've been back a week,” she remarked. With a furtive glance to the nearby tables, she made certain that no one was within hearing range. “You go from fighting like cats and dogs to making out all over the place, in a week? This isn't some new development.”

 

Seifer pretended to mull over her words, casting his eyes towards the high ceiling. Mumbling to himself, as though commentating each side of the argument he finally replied sarcastically, “Hmm, wanting to have sex with Squall is a pretty new feeling.”

 

“How?” Raijin asked.

 

“Why?” Fujin asked more dominantly.

 

“How the hell should I know?” Seifer replied defensively.

 

“So, you just came back and decided that sleeping with the Commander was a good idea because you were in love?” Fujin pressed for an answer.

 

With a shrug, Seifer said, “Different order of events, but yeah, that's pretty much how it went.”

 

“And what exactly made you want to sleep with him all of a sudden?” the silver haired woman asked logically.

 

Scoffing, Seifer rolled his eyes. “Hyne Fu, look at the princess. I can't believe there was a time when I didn't want him.”

 

“I though you were straight,” Raijin cut in quickly with a tone that implied he'd rather change the subject.

 

“I am,” the ex-knight defended sorely.

 

With a snort, Raijin mimicked the blond's previously eye roll. “Just `cause you ain't takin' it, doesn't mean you're straight.”

 

“No, you idiot, it's not like that. I've never liked another guy before, no one except Squall.”

 

“So, you're bi?”

 

“It doesn't matter,” Seifer stated.

 

With a warm smirk, Fujin shook her head as though ridding her mind of something. “It's fine, we're fine with it,” she spoke for both herself and the large man beside her.

 

“Now that's my posse that I remember,” Seifer commented with a roguish grin.

 

“However,” Fujin said, holding a hand up to make a point. “Is it your intention to be so public about it?”

 

With a small shaking of his head, Seifer gazed apologetically at the silver haired woman. “Squall doesn't want anyone knowing about, and I can see why, but I think it's hoping for too much. I mean, the media is going to notice something sooner or later, so why not sooner?”

 

“Because,” Fujin reprimanded, “If the Commander suddenly becomes gay after breaking up with General Caraway's daughter, it will mean a never ending stream of bad news headlines.”

 

With a nod of agreement, Raijin added, “Not to mention that no one officially knows your back. If you put it all together, it's like nitroglycerin.”

 

Seifer frowned. “No. The way things were before was like that.” Rubbing a hand on the back of his neck, he voiced a few thoughts that had formed in his head recently. “I know that there will be a lot of people against my simply being here, and they'll probably be the same people who'd want me put on trial again after finding out that I'm the Commander's lover. But, I think there may also be just as many people who won't mind or who will actually like it.”

 

“What'll they like? You being back in Garden or you being Leonhart's boyfriend?” Raijin asked, not seeing how the combination could go over well with anyone.

 

“Tilmitt is running on overdrive just trying to catch us together, and while I know the general population is not nearly as hyper as she is, it does stand to reason that others might feel that way too. And, Chicken-wuss says that half of Squall's fans are male, which is another good percentage that would love to think that the Commander is slightly closer to their reach.”

 

With a small nod, Fujin conceded that the blond had a good point. “But what about Galbadia and Trabia? I doubt the Commanders will like Leonhart dating you.”

 

“Insult me why don't you,” Seifer commented dryly.

 

“Hey, we like you, but the rest of the world doesn't, ya know?” Raijin said mildly, trying not to make it sound insulting.

 

“Squall's my world now, I don't care what anyone else thinks,” Seifer stated evenly.

 

Fujin's eye widened a bit, the crimson color glinted as she shifted away. Even if Seifer had said he was serious about Leonhart, it was surprising to hear such words spoken so solemnly. It was a side of their leader that they'd never seen before. “I wish it were that simple,” she said after a moment. She was beginning to feel sorry for the ex-knight. As far as she knew, he'd never fallen in love before, and now to be in love with the one person he really shouldn't be near in the first place.

 

Despondently, Seifer gazed at his friends. “Well, in any case, I think I should discuss such matters with Squall.”

 

Both Fujin and Raijin gave nods of agreement.

 

“There was something else I wanted to ask you,” the blond said. His tone implied that their conversation was drawing to a close. “I want you to invite President Loire to the winter festival. Not just for the week when it's going on, but anytime during the next month.”

 

“He does have a country to run,” Raijin pointed out. He doubted that taking time off was an easy thing to do when you were the ruler of an entire nation.

 

“Trust me, that would never stop him,” Seifer commented with underlying mirth. Unlike Squall, the longhaired goofball relied heavily on his advisors. Running Esthar was not a one-man show, and Loire knew it.

 

Fujin nodded knowingly. With a small chuckle she said, “The way that man carries on, you'd think he was in love with his own son or something. But, I still don't think I should invite him for a month, he's likely to show up the first day and stay twice as long.”

 

With a growl, Seifer refuted Fujin's words, “He's not in love with Squall.”

 

Raijin barked with laughter. “Never thought I'd see the day you got jealous. I think I'm starting to like this whole in love with Leonhart thing.”

 

“Keep talking,” Seifer warned, shaking his fist comically. As if shocked, the blond turned in his chair quickly and glanced at the clock. “Shit, I gotta go, pretty boy is probably back.” Not even waiting for a response, he dashed from his seat toward the doorway. He did, however, find time to grin arrogantly at the librarian.