Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ A Vacation From Hell ❯ What the Hell is in this Airline Food?! ( Chapter 3 )

The Vacation From Hell

By Aeris

Part Three

Airplane Part II:

What the HELL is in this Airline Food?!

(scene: cabin. Sephiroth and Aeris are siting back, relaxing. Yuffie is passed out in the aisle seat.)

Sephiroth: (stretches his arms) "Ahh… nice and quiet."

Aeris: "Hm. Yeah, it is kinda nice to get away from the slums. Although, you kinda get used to the corpses and monsters and such…"

Sephiroth: (puts his arm around her) "Well, now you have a chance to get used to sand on the beach, the ocean waves, and let's not forget… (whispers in her ear.)"

Aeris: (giggles and lays her head on his shoulder) "Gee, you're pretty set on that aren't you?"

Seph: (beams) "Yep."

Cid: (over the speakers) "'Ey all ya $%^&#@$ on my plane today. I regret to inform ya that there can't be no movie 'cuz the damn flight's too %$#%^ short. But ya kids can all relax and enjoy some TV, $#@%^$*&!"

Aeris: (facefault) "I was really looking forward to a movie…"

Seph: "Ah, don't worry. We can see a movie once we get to Costa del Sol."

Aeris: (smiles up at him) "Well, what's on TV then?" (looks up at one of the little TV's hanging from the ceiling) "… OHMIGOD!!!! NO WAY!!!"

Seph: (OO;) "What??" (Looks up at the screen) "… oh dear God…"

(On the screen:

Pirate: "are ya ready kids???"

Kid voices on TV and Aeris: "Aye aye captain!!"

Pirate: "Ay can't hear you!"

Kids and Aeris: (louder) "Aye aye captain!!"

Pirate: (sings) "Ohhhh…. Who lives in a pineapple under the sea??"

Kids and Aeris: "Spongebob Squarepants!!!"

(the theme song goes on for another minute. Sephiroth has his hand on his forehead, and a huge sweatdrop.)

Aeris: (giggles) "What's wrong?"

Seph: "You like that show? It's meant for children…"

Aeris: "Is not!! You're thinking of Teletubbies or something."

(cut to-Seventh Heaven. Marlene is sitting on the floor with a Teletubbies doll and watching the show on TV. Cloud sits next to her with a doll also, and seems to be really into the show…)

Marlene: "Bunnies!!!"

Cloud: (thinking) "I love that purple one…"

(back to the plane. Seph shakes his head)

Seph: (sweatdrop) "Never mind… I'll join you in watching the yellow sponge thing…wearing oddly shaped pants…"

Yuffie: (starts to snore, with an open mouth, and drool hangs from her lip)

Seph: "Eugh…" (jerks his arm away from the impending danger) "That's utterly disgusting. Even more so than Hojo in a thong…" (mental image) "I take that back…Hojo in a thong is much worse…" (runs to the bathroom)

Aeris: "Huh, that was odd."

(a small figure comes waddling past, and into the cockpit, unnoticed)

(Sephiroth returns after five minutes)

Seph: "I feel better now…"

Aeris: "Just in time for lunch." (motions to the waitresses passing out trays)

Seph: (turns green)

(in the cockpit)

Cid: "Snore….heebebebebe… $%#^&… snore…"

Co-pilot: (puts the plane on auto-pilot) "Time for lunch." (turns around, and his face goes white. He screams)

(Cabin)

(the co-pilot's scream can be heard throughout the entire plane. Sephiroth jolts up out of his seat)

Seph: "What was that?!"

Aeris: "It sounded like a scream…let's go see." (stands up)

Seph: "You got your materia?"

Aeris: "Yep."

Seph: "Ok then. Let's go."

(they stroll into the cockpit, and look at the horror before them)

??: "Party!! Wah-doo!!!"

Seph and Aeris: (sweatdrop) "You again?"

Furby: "Me to-loo wah."

Aeris: "Ehh… Sephy, you do the honors."

Seph: (casts Ice3 on the Furby.) "Simple enough."

Aeris: (looks at the frozen Furby) "Heh." (casts Esuna on the pilots)

Cid: "…eh… #$@^%! Sephiroth and Aeris! What the @#%&$ are ya doin in my cockpit?"

Seph and Aeris: (point to the Furby.)

Cid: "…#$%&^."

(back in the cabin. Seph and Aeris have taken their seats, and the plane is about to land.)

Seph: "Hmm…that seemed a little too…easy."

Aeris: "Ah…hopefully that's the last we'll ever see of that little imp. I just want to enjoy this vacation with you." (kisses his cheek)

Seph: (grins) "Me too. No Furby or…er, phone…will ruin this vacation for us."

Author note: Well, this is the first humorous thing I've written since Sept. 11. My sympathies go out to all those affected by this…which is basically the whole country.

Anyway, next chapter: Sephiroth and Aeris arrive at their hotel, to find a…surprise…mwahaha.

Reviews are appreciated. Flames will be poked at with a stick.