Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Clean and Jerk ❯ Clean and Jerk ( One-Shot )

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.

AN/Warnings: YAOI. (Seifer x Zell) Coarse language, minor vulgarity, mild gore. Lemon flavor.

Genre(s): Lemon, humor, smut. Yum.

Setting: Disk One, just before the SeeD exam. Training Center, Balamb Garden.

Additional AN: Revised edition. Still no plot, lots more yaoi. (Yay!)

Clean and Jerk

[clean and jerk] - Weight Lifting-- a lift in which the barbell is cleaned and then thrust directly overhead so that the arms are completely extended.

--Webster's New World College Dictionary

If someone were to describe Zell Dincht as "sugar happy" it would probably be an understatement. He seemed to have an everlasting supply of energy, constantly bouncing around on his toes, or shadow boxing whatever object happened to catch his interest. No one knew the reason why Zell perpetually resembled a hummingbird on caffeine pills, why he couldn't sit still for more than six seconds straight.

Maybe it was the hotdogs.

Whatever the reason, the pep pills or the hotdogs, eight o'clock on a Tuesday morning always found Zell in the training center, laying waste to the monster population. You could always find Zell by the trail of destruction leading through the heavy wet ferns, by the rotting carcasses of T-Rexaurs and Grats and other unfortunate miscellaneous creatures that had met an untimely (and usually very bloody) end.

"Booya!" Zell shouted, letting loose with a fury of kicks and punches, another T-Rex joining its family members in.... well, wherever it was that monsters went to when they died. The thick body fell over, eyes rolling back into its bloated head, tongue lolling out of its massive jaws in a semi-comical expression. Zell jumped back, allowing the body to meet the ground, crushing grass and flowers and whatever small forest creatures that happened to be running by at the moment. Zell cautiously kicked the giant creature's head, just to make sure it was dead and not just stunned. He didn't want to get a vital body part bitten off when he turned around. The T-Rexaur didn't move, however, deciding that the best course of action would be to bleed all over the ground in a spreading pool of scarlet.

Zell shrugged, turning away from the dead animal, plopping down into the grass, leaning up against a thick and gnarled tree truck, reaching over to a duffel bag he'd deposited there earlier, fishing out a bottle of water. After drinking his fill, he swiped the back of his hand over his brow, wiping off the goodly amount of sweat that ran merrily down his face. Another T-Rexaur roared from somewhere nearby, but Zell just shrugged again.

Hell, he'd earned a break, anyway. If it decided to commit suicide by coming his way, then he'd take care of it, but until that happened he wasn't moving an inch.

Well, that had been the plan, anyway.

Which pretty much went to shit when the cursing started.

Zell sighed, standing up and stretching. If it was one of the junior cadets, it would mean his ass (and not to mention his shot at becoming a SeeD) if he didn't help. Most of the junior cadets also enjoyed training in the morning, or at least were forced to, considering the SeeDs and SeeD trainees took up the rest of the time in the training center.

Swatting the thick vegetation out of his way, Zell followed the swearing and grunting to a small clearing, where a T-Rex was being slaughtered. Zell grimaced at the splashes of red that covered the landscape, briefly considering their shapes like they were blotches in the ink blot test. And how on earth did they manage to get blood on the underside of the--

"Watch out, you dumbfuck!" a voice hissed, forcing Zell's eyes away from the cute little bunny rabbit his mind had conjured up to the imminent death in front of him, that is, the three ton T-Rexaur body that was threatening to crush him like a bug if he didn't move.

Luckily for Zell, his was a body of constant motion, reacting before his mind did, jumping the hell out of its way where it went toppling to the ground like so many of its brethren.

Zell stared at it for a moment, finally realizing just how close he'd come to death. He would've stared a little longer, except a hand decided that he'd seen enough, grabbing him by the front of his tank-top and giving him a little rattle. Zell averted his eyes from the dead thing on the ground to the hand and the well-defined arm it was attached to, all the way to the face of--

Seifer Almasy.

Shit.

"Hey, Chicken-wuss," he muttered, releasing his grip on Zell's shirt front and turning around, setting himself down on a tree stump, retrieving his trench coat and Hyperion, which he laid across his knees. Zell scowled, but restrained himself, refusing to rise to the bait. He was just about to walk away, and would've done so, happily, if the T-Rexaur hadn't decided to magically come back to life (or wake up, as the case may be), snapping its jaws at the startled figure of Seifer, who looked for all the world looked like the very name by which he called Zell, frozen in surprise.

"Fuck," Zell hissed, rushing to cut off the beast (although he admitted he'd really wanted to see it snap Seifer in two), punching and kicking its thick skull as fast as he could command his limbs to move. With a whispery sigh, the animal decided enough was enough, dropping unceremoniously onto the grass again, ichorous body fluids leaking onto the ground in nature's mysterious circle of life.

Seifer sat frozen for a moment, staring at the dead thing. Fuck, that did not just happen.

"Saved your life," Zell muttered, flashing Seifer a lunatic grin, knowing he'd never be able to live it down.

So it did.

"Well, then I guess we're even, huh?" Seifer snapped, gathering his things and pushing past Zell in a hasty retreat, where he could go kill something in peace.

Zell, however, had other plans. No way in hell was Seifer going to ruin his moment of glory so soon.

"Hey, Seifer, wait up!"

Seifer muttered something under his breath, probably something very nasty about Zell, and continued to push his way through the thick vegetation that hung like wet velvet. Zell tagged along however, making his presence known in the loudest and most annoying ways possible. Seifer briefly wondered what circle of hell he'd be cast into by killing Zell, and decided it wasn't worth the trouble.

"Look, Zell, do me a favor, go home, and OD," the tall blonde ground out through clenched teeth, stepping up his pace a little, Zell right at his heels.

"What, don't I at least get a 'thank you'?" Zell pouted, smirking when Seifer turned around, anger clearly written on his handsome, aristocratic features. Oh, he was so enjoying watching the Seifer Almasy, rich kid and resident dick head of Balamb Garden getting all pissy. Sure, he'd probably pay for it later, but hell, it was worth it.

"Go to hell, Dincht," Seifer hissed, plopping himself down on another tree stump, knowing he wouldn't get away from Zell until the blonde was through with him. Well, it was either that or kill him, which meant that his chance on becoming a SeeD would become slim to nil. He sighed, resting Hyperion on his knees again, looking up at Zell, who was still smiling in triumph, white teeth flashing in the filtered rainforest light.

Hell.

"C'mon, admit it, you're just lucky I saved your ass," Zell said, deciding to rub it in a little longer before Seifer got pissed enough to send him running for the hills. No, he was going to enjoy every single second of this.

"I could've killed it on my own."

"Bullshit. You were scared out of your mind, you didn't even move."

Seifer simply curled his lips, pulling his arms across his chest, unable to come up with a snappy comeback.

Zell simpered, bouncing back on his toes, picking up with his old shadow boxing routine, waiting for Seifer to make the next move.

"Quit it, Dincht, you're fucking annoying," Seifer muttered, watching Zell's fluid movements and wondering how someone who was to graceful and skilled in battle could be such a klutz outside of it. Zell paid no heed however, his spiky blonde hair bobbing slightly with his movements, blue eyes trained on the tree before him.

"Chicken-wuss..." Seifer growled, knowing that if anything would get Zell's attention, it would be that god-awful insult.

Well, that and hotdogs.

Zell frowned again, his face scrunching up cutely, hands on his hips. "What the hell is your problem, Seifer? I saved your life, and all you ever do is act like a jerk and insult me. What the hell did I ever do to you, huh?"

Seifer raised an eyebrow, clearly not expecting the outburst from the short blonde boy in front of him. He'd tweaked Zell's last nerve, regaining control of the situation. He shrugged carelessly, picking up his gunblade to check his hair in its sheen. Lesson one, never fuck with Seifer Almasy and expect to get away with it.

Zell growled, batting Hyperion out of Seifer startled hands. "Hey, I was talking to you!"

Seifer growled, standing up. That's it.... Using his height advantage over the blonde, Seifer picked him up off the ground by his collar. "I told you to go away, Chicken-wuss. I'm giving you a chance to live. I suggest you take it and get the hell out of my face while I'm feeling generous."

"How considerate of you," Zell wheezed, staring Seifer in the eye. "You're letting me live."

Seifer snorted, dropping Zell onto the grass and fetching Hyperion once again. He had to admit it, for a Chicken-wuss, Zell certainly had balls.

"Why I am the way I am is none of your fucking business, Dincht, get it straight. We aren't friends."

Zell slowly sat up, staring up at the tall blonde. "It don't have to be that way, Seifer."

Seifer sighed, using his unoccupied hand to rub the scar along the bridge of his nose. Perfect. "So what, then, Zell, are we gonna hold hands and go skipping through the fields together while all the little birdies sing? Is that it? Are you trying to save my soul? Well, take a fucking number, then, 'cause there's a line. Trepe, Xu, Headmaster Cid, and plenty others."

"It's not that, Seifer, it's just....." Zell trailed off, sighing. He scratched that back of his neck. What the hell did he hope to accomplish by all this?

Seifer nodded briskly, grabbing his coat from the tree stump and turning on his heel. He planned to leave, to get the hell out of the training center and somewhere else, anywhere else, as long as it was at least one hundred feet from Dincht. However, Zell said the only thing that would've possibly stopped him.

"Well, I'm bored. Wanna fuck?"

Seifer froze, blinking once. Had he really heard that? He turned around, slowly, only to find Zell still sitting in the grass, one elbow resting on a knee, his hand holding his face. He looked serious enough.

What the hell?

Zell shrugged, standing up and stretching, yawning loudly. "Heard all the best SeeDs got laid before their field exam. Jus' wanted to see if it was true. Don't worry, I'll find someone better."

Zell turned around, smiling, knowing that Seifer's ego wouldn't let him get away with that one.

"Fine, why the hell not. I'm sick of your running mouth, anyway. Maybe you could put it to good use."

Zell turned around, smiling, suppressing a blush. He stepped over to Seifer, staring up at his face.

Well, shit. Now what?

It was awkward at first, Seifer reaching around Zell's waist to pull him closer, pressing his warm body against his own. He ran one hand up Zell's spine to the back of his neck, digging his fingers into the soft hair, cupping his head back pressing his lips to Zell's soft ones in a small chaste gesture.

It wasn't all that bad, teenage hormones kicking in.

Actually, all things considered, it was pretty fucking good.

Zell smiled around the kiss, wrapping his arms around Seifer's hot neck, glad the tall blonde had decided to forego the use of his trench coat. The gentleness of the tall blonde surprised him, the soft caresses and tender kisses. So, there was a nice guy underneath all that prickdom. Figures.

Seifer ran his tongue along Zell teeth, asking for access that was freely given. Zell moaned softly as Seifer tongue invaded his mouth, softly at first, yet becoming more forceful, but not violent. Zell rubbed his hips against Seifer, feeling his erection jut into his stomach, feeling his own press against Seifer's thigh. Well. So it was possible to do something with Seifer other than fight.

I'll be damned.

The kisses grew more heated, breathing more ragged. And soon kisses and touches weren't enough, and Seifer was easing Zell's sweaty tank-top off, again, with that surprising gentleness. He attacked Zell's swollen lips again, running his hands all over the smooth skin, reveling in the closeness, the waves of pleasure that racked his body, forming a pool at his groin.

Seifer placed both of his hands on each side of Zell's face, pulling himself away, softly stroking his flushed cheeks, admiring the way Zell's long lashes caught the filtered light around them. He dragged his eyes away from Zell for a moment, to check their surroundings. Several more students had filtered in, not close enough to see them yet, but a little too close for comfort.

Seifer reached down and grabbed a hold of Zell's hand, nodding towards a cluster of overgrown ferns and underbrush. Zell understood, nodding, trying to catch his breath. He stumbled through the thick and oversized leaves, eager to return to their previous activities.

Zell attacked him like a needy kitten, thrusting his hips against Seifer's. It was clear that Zell hadn't had very much experience, if any, and Seifer knew that he wouldn't last long. Smirking, he pushed Zell up against a tree, pulling his arms above his head, pinning him, leaving him prone and dropping to one knee in front of him, fumbling with his belt. Zell buried his fingers in Seifer's silky hair, urging him to hurry up. Nine o'clock meant Trepe's class would be hitting the training center for last-minute practice before the upcoming exam, and neither one of them wanted to be caught in that kind of a mess.

The tall blonde yanked Zell's jeans down, smirking again as he watched a shudder pass through Zell's small, untried body. Yup, a virgin all right. Man, he was so gonna enjoy this.

Seifer started off slowly, reveling in the started gasp that escaped Zell's lips as he touched him. Seifer slowly took him into his mouth; it wasn't so unpleasant. He actually enjoyed the feeling of Zell quiver beneath his hands and ministrations, liked the feeling of power he had over him. After all, he did have a little problem with control issues.

Zell untangled one hand from the spun gold atop Seifer's head, muffling a moan behind one gloved hand. Seifer's continuing gentleness still surprising him. He didn't pretend to understand Seifer, hell, no one did, he didn't even think the guy understood himself. But there was someone else inside of him, someone who desperately wanted to be liked, loved even, someone who was just as fragile as everybody else, even if Seifer would never admit it.

Pride and ambition had shaped Seifer into the person he was now, blind snobbery and narcissism, a constant need to be the best. Yet underneath all that, there was someone else, someone with emotions and fragility, like every other creature.

And god damn, he could do some amazing things with his tongue.

Zell was finally forced to bring both hands up to his mouth, desperately trying to stifle his moans which were becoming louder and more drawn out. Seifer's mouth continued to rhythmically suck and release him, bringing him inexplicable\y ever closer to that pinpoint of light.....

"Nnnggh!! Mmmummphh... Seifmmphhhrrrm!!!......"

Seifer stood up, wiping off his mouth. Not quite his name, but the closest thing a guy could hope for, considering the circumstances. He watched with mild amusement as Zell sagged against the tree, breathless and sweaty, pants around his ankles. He had his eyes closed, face pointed up towards the sky, passion-bitten lips falling open with every quick gasp.

He blinked his blue eyes open after a minute, blushing, suddenly feeling very modest, very vulnerable. He reached down, pulling up his pants, quickly re-fastening his belt securely about his waist. He ran a gloved hand through his spiky hair, which had lost some of its gravity-defying powers during the course of the past few minutes. A kind of drunken haze settled over him, a contentment he couldn't describe, and suddenly he wanted to take a nap. He stumbled forward, brushing leaves out of his way.

"Hey," Seifer snapped from somewhere behind him, and Zell wheeled around, raising a fine blonde eyebrow.

"Hum?"

Seifer scowled, snapping his fingers and pointing to the front of his jeans. "Your not going anywhere, Chicken-wuss, until you fix this."

Zell nodded. Figures.

He dropped to his knees before Seifer, reaching up to caress his arousal through the thin fabric. The tall blonde scowled; obviously not what he had in mind. He wasn't into the whole teasing fore-play bit, he figured if you were going do it, you'd better just get on with it and skip the formalities, not wanting to waste any time.

Time was of the essence, after all.

Zell clumsily unbuttoned Seifer's jeans, pulling down the zipper and tugging the pants down to Seifer's knees, reaching up to stroke his erection. Zell wasn't sure where exactly to begin, since he'd never done it before. He knew the basics however, he wasn't as stupid as some people seemed to think, and he also knew that Seifer Almasy was a very impatient man.

He touched his tongue to the tip of Seifer's heated cock, experimentally. He was salty and sweaty, and something else he couldn't define. Zell held onto lightly tanned hips, Taking Seifer deeper into his mouth.

The tall blonde groaned, a thick purr escaping his lips and he tangled his fingers painfully into Zell's soft mane of hair, thrusting his hips forward gently. Zell bobbed his head this way and that, looking for something that worked for both of them. After a few minutes, he had Seifer panting and his own tongue doing things he never thought possible.

Suddenly, there was the sound of heavy footfalls thudding through the grass, way to close.

Zell froze, his mouth paralyzed in an "o" shape, Seifer desperately trying to stifle his panting, stop his hips from grating into Zell's mouth. He dropped his strangle hold on Zell's hair (which by now had taken on a rather freakish shape, his long bangs twisted up into an oddly frayed spiral). Clamping his gloved hands over his mouth, Seifer stood stock still, hoping the ferns blocking them from the main path would be enough cover.

Still, there was something undeniably erotic about the chance of being caught, and almost against his will, Seifer thrust forward gently again. Zell looked up at him as though he'd just grown three heads. Seifer stifled a chuckle, Zell's face and the situation just to comical for words, his eyebrows creased in an angry frown whilst looking up from his thighs, saliva dripping of his chin, lips still wrapped around his stiff shaft.

"--Don't stray too far--" came the voice on the other side of the bushes, and Zell froze again.

Oh, shit! Instructor Trepe....

Seifer just smirked, lowering his hands to grab Zell's head again, forcing him to continue the bobbing motions. He panted, loudly, and Zell blushed, working faster, struggling to get this over with as soon as possible, and not get caught.

Seifer hissed as Zell softly racked his teeth over his sensitive organ, throwing his head back and suppressing the moan that tried to fight its way out of his throat. He settled for a grunt, his fingers twisting painfully in Zell's abused hair as stars exploded before his eyes, thick ropes of semen pouring down Zell's throat.

Zell coughed, pulling his head away in surprise, spitting the hot liquid onto the grass, and coughing some more.

Seifer slowly came to, and with a mild amusement realized that he was holding a smallish chuck of Zell's soft blonde hair in one hand. He watched as the young SeeD hopeful caught his breath, wiping all traces of their encounter off his lips and chin. He was sitting on the ground, and turned around to face Seifer when he realized the tall blonde was staring. He smiled tentatively, scratching the back of his head.

"Sorry Chickie," Seifer chuckled, breaking the silence. He opened up his palm, letting the loose hair drift to the ground in front of Zell.

"Damn it, Seif," Zell hissed, bringing his hand up to his hair, trying to brush it back into a semi-normal position. "This isn't right, man. A guy's hair is like sacred to him or something."

Then it hit him. "Hey..... Did you just apologize to me? The fuck.....?"

Seifer chuckled, as much to the cute face Zell was making as to the situation. Zell stared up at him, one eyebrow raised high on his forehead, his small nose scrunched up, blonde hair in complete disarray.

"Well, just don't get used to it, Chicken-wuss."

Zell sighed, standing up, brushing dirt and grass and other miscellaneous debris off his shorts. He dug around the brush for his tank top, slipping it over his head.

All well, it was a stupid idea, anyway. To think that he had changed....

Zell stifled a blush, staring over at the still partially naked Seifer.

"Ya gonna get dressed anytime soon?"

Seifer just smirked back, shrugging, crossing his arms against his chest, striking a dignified pose despite the fact that his pants were now in a heap on the training center floor.

"Nah, I'm good. Think I'll stick around for a smoke, then pound the shit out of some junior class-man before getting ready for the field exam."

Zell smirked, shaking his head before finding his way through the bushes.

"Hey, Zell...." called Seifer's voice from behind him.

"Yeah?"

"Good luck. Hope it worked for you."

Zell grinned, trying to hide his pink cheeks. "You too, Seifer."

He stepped into the training center proper, scanning the area for any people who might've seen him. After a quick scan, he decided that the coast was clear, and headed for the exit, wanting a shower, a nap, and if at all possible, a few dozen hotdogs.

He had been dwelling on the hotdogs, trying to shove all thoughts of Seifer aside, cataloging them in storage for future use (i.e. when he got into the shower) when he bumped into Quistis.

"Oh my god, Zell! What's with your hair?"

Quistis raised a fine blonde eyebrow when the only response Zell gave her was to blush profusely and run like a bat out of hell towards the exit.