Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Coccon ❯ Chapter 1 ( Chapter 1 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Disclaimer: I do not own Advent Children or the characters; I am just playing with them. I promise to put them back on the shelf when I am finished.

Yazoo could hear him muttering in his sleep. They were all a body of thoughts, but Kadaj was the one who suffered the most. He dreamed things that they would never dream. He heard voices that neither Yazoo nor Loz could hear. During the day, Kadaj would seem calm and collected, but Yazoo could hear him at night.

They lay beneath the stars. It had been Loz’s idea, something about wanting to see how they sparkled. Sometimes ideas entered Loz’s head that made no sense. Kadaj was happy to comply, and Yazoo had never really given it a second thought. They were a body thoughts, it was only natural that their ideas, feelings, and thoughts were sometimes not theirs.

“Mother…” Kadaj whimpered, rolling over onto his side, his face hidden from Yazoo.

Yazoo did not feel the same insistent pull to meet Mother that his brothers had. He would have been content with just living, if he could remember what their life had been like before they had begun to feel Mother’s presence. Had they been born wanting to seek out Mother? Had they been born at all? Yazoo could not remember this Mother; until Kadaj had said her name, he had not even known who she was.

Jenova.

Just who or what was she? Why had they never met her before? Why could he not remember her? Not even Kadaj knew the answers to those questions, and Yazoo knew it tore his brother up inside. It made him wonder if Kadaj really knew anything about this “Mother” of theirs.

Kadaj had once told him that once they met Mother, she would choose between him and Sephiroth. Yazoo did not know who this Sephiroth was and neither did Kadaj, but hearing that name created thoughts and ideas in his head. He was incomplete. He suspected Loz was also. The only one who was complete was Kadaj, and that is why he suffered greatly.

“Kadaj?” Yazoo whispered, being careful not to awaken Loz.

The youngest of the three said nothing, but Yazoo saw him shift slightly. He was probably wiping his eyes and waiting for the pained feeling in his chest to go away. Kadaj tried so hard to show that he was not weak. Was he doing this for Mother? Was he trying to prove to her that he was better than Sephiroth?

“Kadaj” Yazoo once again whispered, and this time Kadaj turned to look at him. Even in the dark, he could see the tears drying on his brother’s face.

“What is it? You should get sleep, we’re going to see Brother tomorrow,” Kadaj said.

Yazoo wished that Kadaj would for once forget this silly search for Mother. He was the youngest out of the three of them, nothing more than a child really; there was no need for him to act like such a grown up.

“Don’t cry Kadaj” he said softly, watching a look of shock cross over the boy’s face.

“I wasn’t crying” Kadaj replied a little too quickly.

Yazoo chuckled softly. “Isn’t that Loz’s line?”

When it was just the two of them together like this, it was easier for Yazoo to be himself. He might not have been complete like Kadaj, or given emotions like Loz, but for some reason it was easier to express those feelings with his brothers. He also knew this was the only time that Kadaj was able to be himself.

Lately, he had been noticing that Kadaj was becoming more and more indifferent towards them. Kadaj treated them more like pawns than brothers, ordering them to do things while he sat back and watched from the sidelines. There was coldness in Kadaj’s eyes that frightened him sometimes. It was like watching a worm slowly spin itself into a cocoon; only what came out was not a beautiful butterfly but an ugly moth.

He beckoned his brother over, making room for him beneath the meager blanket. Kadaj had the sleeping bag, Loz had the quilt, and Yazoo had a blanket; he had not made the sleeping arrangements, but he did not mind them either. He did not want Kadaj to catch a cold (if Kadaj’s body was even capable of catching a cold), and Loz hated the cold and cried whenever he had to sleep in the cold.

“Until we meet with Mother, you don’t have to pretend to be so grown-up,” Yazoo said, wrapping his arms around the younger boy. “Loz and I…we were created to protect you until you find Mother.”

The thought had entered his head and spoken before he even had time to ponder it. Was that really his and Loz’s purpose? To be bodyguards until Kadaj met with Mother and the reunion took place. What would happen to Kadaj after that? Would this Sephiroth person be in control?

“I’m afraid. What if Mother does not choose me? What if she likes Sephiroth better than she likes me?” Kadaj asked softly, burying his face against his brother’s leather encased chest.

Yazoo was not sure what to say so he relied on silence. Hugging his brother tightly, he buried his face against Kadaj’s hair. If he closed his eyes and concentrated hard enough he could see a face. It was an older person’s face, with green eyes and silver hair.

“You and Loz don’t have to worry. You won’t change” Kadaj murmured, and Yazoo felt his younger brother’s arms tighten around his waist, Kadaj’s fingertips pressing against Yazoo’s back.

Yazoo knew what his brother wanted, and what he needed. He kissed the top of Kadaj ’s head, his hand seeking out the zipper of Kadaj’s leather pants, pulling it down with slow ease. On nights like this, when Kadaj needed reassurance, this was the only thing Yazoo could to do calm him down. It gave them both proof that they were alive and indeed their own persons.

“Yazoo…”

This was the only time Kadaj would call him by his name. Lately Kadaj had not been addressing them at all. Usually the boy would just look at them and they would know what they were supposed to do.

“Yazoo” Kadaj said, more insistent as he pressed his fingers harder against Yazoo’s back.

Nodding, Yazoo pushed aside the folds of the pants, taking Kadaj’s growing hardness in his hands. It only took the touch of his hand against the warm flesh to make him completely hard, and Yazoo felt it twitch and become slick.

The boy’s body shuddered lightly as he began to stroke him, slowly moving his hand up and then back down along the boy’s shaft. Kadaj’s breathy little moans were making him hard also, and his hips bucked against the palm that was suddenly massaging his crotch.

There was never a need to hesitate, or to think about what they were doing. This was just how things had always been. This was normal to them.

It felt normal to touch Kadaj like this, languidly moving his hand as his brother’s moans grew louder in his ear. He would kiss him, but only to keep him from waking up Loz. Kadaj had asked him once if he did these things with Loz, but he had never answered him. There was no need to do this with Loz because Loz did not need this type of comfort. Like a small child, just playing with him was enough.

He felt Kadaj’s body press against his, and heard his name whispered as the boy’s seed covered his hand. Like always, Kadaj’s hand ceased its movements and pulled away. Yazoo did not care. He was not doing this for his own pleasure and he knew Kadaj did it only because he was mimicking his actions.

“Are you feeling better now?” Yazoo asked, wiping his hand off on the grass beneath them.

Kadaj fixed himself; Yazoo listening to the sounds of the zipper as Kadaj zipped his pants up. He wondered if the boy would return to his sleeping bag, or if he would sleep next to him. Kadaj had never slept away from him before, but lately he had been doing so.

“Yes, you served your purpose” Kadaj said softly with a voice that was not his.

If he looked closely enough he could see it. The tiny cracks beginning to form in the cocoon that Kadaj had spun him self into. Soon the cocoon would break and Kadaj would be something completely different. Yazoo could feel the timer ticking down for all three of them, but as long as Kadaj searched for Mother, he would not stray from the path.

“You should sleep Kadaj,” Yazoo said, a tiny blank smile coming to his face when Kadaj did not move from the spot he was laying.

Kadaj curled up on his side, his back pressed against Yazoo’s chest. Yazoo drew the blanket up around them, wrapping his arms around Kadaj, and holding him protectively against him.

Yes, until the cocoon broke, and the chosen one emerged, he would protect Kadaj.