Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Connected ❯ Well hello there! ( Chapter 4 )

The profitable ones belong to Square Enix.

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Well hello there!

Think things move pretty fast down here
but just wait my dear

'till we get up there…

When it started - The Strokes

 

First and foremost, the sun was too loud. Jace didn't have very many coherent thoughts when she woke up the next morning but that was by far the most strident. Stupid sun. Stupid open blinds. Stupid waking up only a few minutes before I need to be at my desk. Stupid needing to get up even though I feel like my head is splitting open. Stupid coworkers suggesting a bacchanalia on Thursday instead of Friday like normal people. Stupid me for agreeing to go.

 

Carefully rolling over, Jace decided this one could be blamed entirely on boredom and booze. Nothing else could explain why she didn't immediately discard the idea that it would be fun to get into a drinking contest with Reno the Turk. The fact that she had conceived of the idea at all should have worried her. She pressed her fingertips into her temples and groaned. She had attempted to out drink Reno, the man who had probably been birthed fully formed from a handle of whiskey. To top it off, she had involved his friend, Rude the monolith. Where others would have seen alcohol poisoning or assault charges on the horizon, Jace had seen only opportunity. There had been a time when she'd been infamous for these sorts of stunts, but the magical days of no hangovers had apparently passed. Stupid getting older.

 

She dragged herself out of bed and into the bathroom. She didn't even question the fact that the toilet seat was up. She simply put it down, did what needed to be done and then stumbled into the bathtub and tried to take the hottest shower she could. Oh, how she missed water pressure. Getting water pressure back to the middle and lower class areas, that was her new calling. She leaned out of the stall far enough to grab her toothbrush and toothpaste, barely glancing at the state of the sink, then ducked back in and gave her teeth a vigorous going over. The sock she had apparently spent the night sucking on did not shift easily, and moving her head enough to really get breath- freshening results seemed a risky proposition, given the headache sitting at the edge of her consciousness.

 

After what felt like an age, she judged the job to be done as best as it was going to be, rinsed her mouth and turned her attention to her hair. She didn't even want to guess what state it was in. It's probably sticking out like a fright wig, but at least it doesn't hurt Jace thought as she put a dollop of shampoo on her hand and worked it into lather. She ducked under the spray, eyes tightly closed. She always saved shampooing for next to last because she hated to open her eyes with water running down her face. After she finished her hair, she always washed her face with her eyes still closed, and then dried off. Then she was going to get dressed, drag herself to work and die at her post.

 

Odd. Her hair should have been hanging limply over her forehead and next to her ears, weighed down by the water. Huh? Jace leaned her head forward, out of the spray and put her hands to her scalp.

 

Her scream could be heard for blocks.

 

The `I have no hair, what the living fuck?' scream was soon followed by the `two men just burst into the bathroom brandishing weapons and ripped aside the shower curtain' shout. That segued nicely into the `I'm naked and they don't seem inclined to vacate the area, in fact the red haired one is grinning like an idiot' outraged shriek. Jace forgot about her inexplicably bald pate entirely and began launching bath accessories at the Turks as fast as she could grab them.

 

“Get out, get OUT, GET OUT!” she shrieked, as Rude finally dragged a loudly protesting Reno from the room, and thoughtfully closed the door behind them. Jace stood in the rapidly cooling water for a moment, shaking uncontrollably, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. In a daze she turned off the shower, just in time to catch the sound of the front door opening as the Turks made their escape.

 

“The hell they are!” She grabbed a towel and wrapped it around herself as she ran into the front room. Reno was already halfway into the hallway, while Rude stood holding the door. Jace stopped dead, her chest heaving with righteous indignation. “Where the hell do you think you're going?” she hissed. Both Turks turned back to her. Jace was still dripping wet, her towel showed about as much as it concealed and her random shivers caused certain parts of her to bounce slightly. She would have been an enticing sight had it not been for the look in her eyes, which promised not merely murder, but slow torture of the kind that only a very angry woman can deliver. Rude watched her warily as Reno shrugged.

 

“We had fun, sweet cakes, but we've got to get going. The boss called.” Reno held his hands up in a manner that signaled `sorry but my hands are tied'. Jace was distinctly unimpressed.

 

“Why…” she took a calming breath. “Why don't I have any hair? And what are you two doing here?” An odd odor made itself apparent and she sniffed suspiciously. “Why does my apartment smell like pancakes?” She paled as the potential answer to her second question washed over her. Her eyes swept the living room as if searching for evidence of unsavory activities. Her gaze snapped back to Reno when she heard his low chuckle.

 

“Well a gentleman never kisses and tells…” he said, electing to really enjoy the moment. He may be one of the good guys now but he was only partially reformed. If the girl didn't know what happened, he was under no obligation not to have a bit of fun at her expense. It had been a while since he'd been able to just be plain mean. Reno stepped back into the apartment and moved toward Jace, his face quickly taken on a stricken expression.

“Besides, baby,” his tone was low and tinged with hurt. “You were there. You should know. We did things…” Here he allowed his lips to curl into the faintest hint of a smirk. Jace's wide eyes and shocked expression were priceless. He continued to move forward until they were less then a foot apart and looked down at her. Wonder infused his next few words. “We did things that I've never done with a woman before. I think it was new to my partner too. Baby… you may be the freakiest woman I've ever known…”

 

Rude saw it coming even if Reno didn't. In one smooth motion Jace rammed her fist into Reno's midsection. The girl had very good form, catching Reno right in the solar plexus and stepping smoothly back to let her victim hit the floor unimpeded. Ignoring his partner's graceless drop to the floor and gasping breaths, Rude regarded Jace carefully. She had dropped her chin to her chest but he had the feeling she was oblivious to the man writhing at her feet. Rude felt bad for her; she seemed nice enough even if she had questionable taste in drinking and dance partners. He cleared his throat. Jace looked up at him. She seemed… lost somehow.

 

“We drank and danced at the bar until it closed about two hours after Reno and I first arrived. At that point we found a liquor store, stocked up and came back here.” Rude kept his voice entirely neutral as he recited the facts. “We continued to drink until you said you were hungry. Reno taught you how to make his signature pancakes. We ate and then drank some more until you then complained about how hot it was. You and Reno stripped to your underwear. You admired my head and we offered to shave yours to match. You agreed. We shaved your head. Shortly after that you passed out and I put you to bed. Reno and I slept out here.”

 

Rude took a deep breath. That little recitation comprised more words then he normally used in front of a relative stranger and Rude felt a little off balance. But he figured she was owed the knowledge that she hadn't half the things she was probably imagining. Jace seemed a nice enough girl and she was, to some extent, a co-worker since he was a part-time W.R.O. employee. Besides, she'd been a hell of a lot of fun last night. She was funny and certainly had a sense of adventure. Reno hadn't lied about her being the first woman they'd ever made pancakes with and then shaved bald. One, or the other, but never both and never in the same night.

 

Jace was studying him intently. Reno had stopped writhing and was now lying on his back, making the occasional pained noise and shifting his head slightly to the right. Rude was fairly sure his partner was trying to look up the towel Jace still had wrapped around her. She didn't break eye contact with Rude as she kicked Reno in the shoulder, engendering another round of cursing.

 

“So… you put me to bed?” she said slowly. Rude nodded briefly. “You said I was still wearing underwear when you shaved my head. I wasn't wearing any when I woke up this morning.” Her left eyebrow rose slightly.

 

Rude grunted and fought the urge to adjust his tie. Suddenly Jace shrugged and grinned at him. Normally only kids smiled that wide. There was a flash of something dark in her eyes but she seemed to shake it off and find the humor in the situation. She was apparently willing to let it go as no harm, no foul. Rude was grateful for that blessing since she could have chosen to take any complaints she might have to Reeve who would immediately pass them to Rufus and Tseng who would immediately make Reno and Rude's lives a living hell, to say nothing of what it would do to Reno's chances with Yuffie. Rude nodded at Jace, acknowledging her acceptance of his recitation of events.

Once she was sure she and Rude had come to an understanding Jace turned the full force of her grin on Reno as he stood up. The red head eyed her warily as she approached him.

 

“I'm sorry Reno. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. Well, not much anyway.” Jace sidled closer and pressed her self against Reno's front. Not enough, Rude noted, to be completely crass but enough to bring a half smile to his partner's face. Jace looked adoringly at Reno, long eyelashes going a mile a minute. “Forgive me?” She pressed just a bit closer and shimmied against him just the slightest bit until Reno nodded. Rude was impressed. If Elena ever took it into her head to handle Reno that way the red head might actually do his own paperwork. On the other hand Reno would be in serious trouble with Tseng at that point…

“Ruuuuude…” she crooned. Rude looked at her inquiringly. Jace's grin dropped as her hangover made a sudden resurgence. The smell of pancakes, smoke and liquor was beginning to make her stomach roil. “Can I get a ride to work?”

 

So it was that Jacinta Guerin walked into W.R.O. headquarters forty minutes late, flanked by two Turks and wearing her P.J.'s, slippers and a hooded sweatshirt that proclaimed “In Costa Del Sol, everything goes down but the sun!” A hush fell over the lobby as nearly every head turned to watch the trio pass. Even those who didn't know Jace recognized Rude and Reno and stared. Turks did not escort women dressed in their jammies and furry slippers to the elevators.

 

Reno laughed and waved to the stunned onlookers. Rude, being Rude, acted like this was completely normal. Jace, scooting along in her slippers with her head down, didn't really notice that she had been identified and that her reputation was undergoing rapid revision. She was listening to the sweet siren song of her darkened cubicle and enough green tea to marinate a chocobo. Barely registering the ding of the elevator doors, she totally missed the fact that the men on either side of her stiffened. Jace shuffled onto the elevator, head still bowed and immediately turned to her left and attempted to burrow into Rude's side. She knew him well enough to curl up to him right? The man had shaved her head after all. For a moment silence reigned.

 

“Miss Guerin?”

 

Reeve's soft question cut through Jace's haze like nothing else could have. She sucked in a deep breath and swiftly looked up to face her boss, her headache making her immediately regret her speed. Alas, Reeve had company. Jace's somewhat bleary gaze lingered briefly on a pretty blonde woman and a severe Wutain, respectively named Elena and Tseng, if she remembered right. They were both dressed in the standard Turk uniform and looked very impressive. Jace's eyes turned to the man standing between them. There stood Rufus Shinra, looking like the best thing since sliced bread, his face impassive.

 

Years later Jace would attribute her impressive calm to the hangover and the location. She was too tired to scream or cry and there was nowhere to run, not that she would have gotten far. Jace simply released Rude's arm, drew herself up to her full 5'8” and assumed a placid expression. She willed her headache down enough to convincingly project competence. Her actions were completely normal, she told herself. They were the ones who were odd. Really, what in the hell were Reeve, Rufus Shinra and his pet bodyguards doing in the elevator at this time of the morning on a Friday?

 

Because you're wearing a target on your back that only the fates can see, her inner voice commented. Jace told it to shut up or she'd drink like this more often. The inner voice wisely held its tongue as she focused on her boss. Reeve was a known quantity in all this.

 

“Miss Guerin. Why are you being… escorted by Reno and Rude?” Reeve was obviously very confused, but there was a hint of anger in his voice as well. Jace wasn't sure at whom that displeasure was directed. She felt Rude stiffen even more and hazarded a guess that Reeve was worried on her behalf. It would be all too easy to infer that she had been treated much worse then she had. Jace almost cracked a quick grin. Reeve was a wonderful man to work for because he was very much like a father.

 

“We were… fostering inter-departmental cooperation sir.” Jace realized the implications of her statement only after watching Elena and Reeve's eyebrows disappear into their hairlines. Tseng shot his subordinates a look that promised painful and prolonged punishment. However, Rude and Rufus didn't seem at all affected; in fact, Reno laughed. Jacinta withheld a sigh. I'm surrounded by perverts. How best to divert their attention? When in doubt, throw Reno under the bus!

“Reno makes a hell of a pancake.” Sudden silence from her right. She continued in her very best deadpan voice. “He looked so cute in my moogle apron.” Next thing she knew, she was blinking in the bright overhead light as Reno flipped her hood back. She slowly turned to face him; he wore a triumphant smirk and had the audacity to wink at her. “You bastard.” She found herself chuckling even as she said it. Her sensible inner voice was back, screaming that she was, for all intents and purposes, flirting with one of the Turks who had helped shave her bald. Not only that, but she was doing it in front of her boss, the Turks' boss and Rufus Shinra. Jace determinedly ignored that voice and focused her nervousness into adrenaline. Her headache seemed to fade a bit further into the background and she sent Reno a challenging smirk and a wink. His face softened just a bit, his smile becoming more open.

 

“Better a bastard than a bitch,” he drawled. Tseng barked Reno's name, annoyance coloring his tone.

 

Jace just flipped her hood back up. “Who you callin' bitch, pancake queen?”

 

“Whore.”

 

“Wuss.”

 

“Lush.”

 

“Somewhere a chocobo herd is missing their leader…” The elevator doors dinged and then opened. Jace turned and stepped out, feeling somehow better about life.

 

“At least I have hair!” Reno yelled after her. “See you later, Rudette!” Jace turned and stuck her tongue out at him, a gesture he returned. They grinned at each other as the elevator doors closed. She took a deep breath and turned to face her shocked co-workers, smiled and silently, headed for her cubical.

 

 

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