Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Cross Sword x Lion ❯ Chapter 5

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

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Kiros nodded tersely and turned to leave, his eyes clouded by his churning emotions, nearly trembling with his intense desire to comfort Laguna. That one tear that had sparkled against his friend's skin had nearly been his undoing and he had only retained his distance by clenching his fists until blood flowed from the wounds caused by his nails biting into his palms. Yet even that pain could do nothing to help him once he made the mistake of pausing to glance back at his friend.

Laguna had never been able to hide his emotions and Kiros was drawn to his quiet suffering as a moth to a flickering flame. "Laguna..." The name was a curse and a prayer on his lips and he placed his hands against the leather on either side of the president's face, neatly trapping Laguna in his chair as he leaned forward. Kiros closed his eyes against the shocked disgust he knew he would see but couldn't stop himself. Years of suppressed desire rose and broke free of their bonds as he claimed Laguna's mouth in a kiss that was both as tender as it was passionate. His tongue passed over those satin lips that had undoubtedly parted to cry out a protest but Kiros was helpless to do anything but explore the inviting velvety depths, searing the texture and taste of Laguna into the memory of his heart for all time.

' I love you.' The thought fell from his mind just as a silvery tear coursed down his cheek. 'Oh god what have I done!' His eyes were still tightly shut against the revulsion that must be on Laguna's face and he knew from the silence that he had just lost it all. His secret dreams, his trusted friend...and the man he loved to the depths of his soul. All for one kiss that had tasted of heaven only to send him plummeting into the hell of being without Laguna. He could at least make this one thing easier for his friend, he would save him the embarrassment of having to explain to people why he had fired his long-time friend and advisor. "Sir...you have my resignation."

Kiros's voice was dead and emotionless, as were his eyes when they opened, but he could not force himself to look at his love. 'God help me.' Without another word, holding his body taut to stop himself from trembling, he turned and strode from the presidential office, pausing to give Laguna's orders to an attendant. "Contact the president's son on official business...and file the papers for my resignation by morning."

Stunned silence met his words but he kept his face cold and emotionless, the rustle his of his robe the only sound as he turned and began walking down the corridor. He would leave the palace now, Ward could collect his belongings for him later. He had to leave now or he would completely loose what small shred of his dignity remained by breaking down and sobbing. The thought was accompanied by a sudden flood of silent tears and dignity be damned, Kiros broke into a run, desperate to distance himself from his shameful actions and the pain of his broken heart.

Laguna stared speechless as the door closed. 'Sir...you have my resignation.' ...the phrase ran through his mind again. 'Why...? Why are you leaving...were you already planning to leave? If so, Why did you....' the thought trailed off as he lifted one hand to his lips and touched them lightly. Then he was up out of his chair and running for the door before he realized what he was doing.

He ran through the doors and saw Kiros standing in front of the seat that would take him out of the palace. "Kiros! Wait!" he called as he ran towards his friend, his hair flew back behind him as he ran down the hall that separated his office from the rest of the palace and grabbed a hold of one of Kiros's arms.

"Kiros...wait, tell me something before you leave please. Just answer one question for me and then...then I'll ...let you leave if you still wish to."

Kiros took a shuddering breath and drew back his shoulders, struggling to compose himself but unable to halt another tear from coursing down his face. The hover seat was only a short step away but he felt as if he had been frozen in place and he cursed softly, realizing he had been foolish to think he could have escaped so lightly.

'Please....I can take your anger, I can take your disgust....I'll leave and never come into your sight again....just don't tell me that you hate me. I know you do...and I can accept it...but to hear you say the words will destroy my soul.'

Still, no matter that escape was so close at hand, he would not deny Laguna the chance to speak against him, no matter the agony that would ensue. "Sir?" He clenched his fists as his voice cracked and took another steadying breath, his voice as emotionless as his eyes once they opened again. "Before you say anything...allow me to offer my deepest and most sincere apology, Mr. President, for my shameful actions."

Laguna jerked back as if slapped and released his hold on Kiros's arm. 'So...it wasn't...' he stopped that train of thought and looked at his friend. "Why are you saying you're sorry? For kissing me? That's nothing to be ashamed of Kiros, I..." he stalled and cursed himself silently before continuing hoping he wouldn't disgust his friend with what he was about to say ." Kiros...I'm not sure what you thought my reaction was back there...but I'm not letting you leave my side for something so silly as a kiss. I was surprised...but I have done more than kiss a man before..."

He looked away and hesitated slightly before continuing in a lower voice. "I've had...sex...with men...before...so something so simple as a kiss...it shouldn't.." he trailed off unsure what to say next. And with perfect timing his leg began to cramp up on him. He winced slightly and tried to ignore it as he watched his friend for a reaction, waiting for the disgust to come over his features and for him to leave him alone standing here in the hallway.

Kiros stiffened as a quicksilver bolt of desire coursed through his veins, flooding his entire being with hope. Laguna's silken voice and those hesitant words, his confession, were spoken with a sweet shyness that completely melted his heart. Again Kiros closed his eyes and took another deep breath, suddenly feeling as if there was not enough air within the entire palace to fill his lungs. All he could do in that moment was let the words tumble through his mind, each a sweet balm to his soul after the agony and uncertainty he had suffered for so long. ' Why are you saying you're sorry? For kissing me? That's nothing to be ashamed of Kiros, I have done more than kiss a man before...I've had...sex...with men...before...'

"Laguna...I..." Kiros murmured the words and realized that he was actually trembling from the intensity of his emotions. Then he saw another wince touch Laguna's face and the way his friend's hand made a brief movement before falling still again. An amused smile touched Kiros's face once he realized that Laguna had just caught himself from reaching to massage away another leg cramp. 'I'm going to regret this.'

Before Laguna could respond, Kiros had managed to turn and shove his friend backwards so that he fell onto the waiting hover lift, sinking into the thick cushion. "You shouldn't be standing when it cramps, Laguna." Kiros smiled softly, quickly pressing the button that would hold the lift in place and then calmly knelt to massage the cramped muscles with skilled hands.

He didn't say anything for a moment, merely devoting himself to easing Laguna's pain, but finally, he lifted his gaze to meet his love's. "Even if you have had sex with men before, Laguna, it was inexcusable for me to force my attention on you when there had been no invitation. I have been fighting the attraction since you never gave me sign that my interest was returned...but I lost control today. I still think it will be best for me to resign....I don't think I can stand to work near you again...now that I have...I'm sorry..." He lowered his gaze, the words softly spoken and heartfelt in their sincerity, "now that I have kissed you...it will just be too hard to be near you without needing to taste your sweet mouth again."

It flew along the coastline and sent out a silent search for the power and hate and found the power not far from him. He folded his wings and fell towards a green field, snapping them open when he saw the figure laying within it. Landing easy on his feet he folded his wings back and watched the woman for a moment before walking closer to her. "Hello.....who are you?"

Rinoa gasped and flared her wings in alarm, bringing a pained cry to her lips as the movement reopened the wound and sent pain searing through her abused muscles. Tears immediately blurred her vision and a violent shiver wracked her frame as she instinctively drew away before managing to calm herself. Her tear filled eyes swept over the man, taking in his golden wings, the red-gold hair and piercing ocean blue eyes, then slowly sweeping over his nude figure, a hot blush finally bringing color to her pale cheeks. "I...my name is Rinoa..." Slowly she rose to her feet, wincing in pain, "Rinoa Leonh....Heartlilly."

More tears fell from knowing that she no longer could claim Squall's name...just as she could no longer claim him and the grief was immediately followed by a surge of helpless rage at Seifer for taking that from her. Then she noticed the golden tendrils covering the man's shoulders, arms and the pale throat. Two things struck her like physical blows, the man's beauty and the fact that on some instinctive level, she was suddenly terrified of him. Still, for some reason, she couldn't bring herself to run from him, instead crossing her arms over her breasts in an unconscious shielding gesture and watching him. "Who are you?"

"My name is something I doubt you could pronounce but anyway here it is.. Youkai Doushi. It isn't my birth name though, I don't remember it.. but that's what *they* called me anyway.. so I took it as my name."

Rinoa shivered again, his voice seeming to fall over her like a caress but leaving her with the urge to try and brush it away somehow, like spider's silk clinging to her skin. "Youkai Doushi?" She managed to pronounce the strange words and felt a chill spread over her skin as something within her began to scream for her to run. She ignored it though since she could feel no threat behind the words, or in his presence. "They?"

She shook her head as if to dismiss her question as having no importance and then trembled as the faint, cool breeze managed to pass through the tears in her clothing where her wings had ripped the garments. Her wings betrayed her blood and powers but she had thought herself to be the only one, aside from Ellone and Edea no longer possessed those powers. "Are you of sorceress blood? I did not realize there was another..."

Youkai Doushi laughed softly as he studied her. He licked his lips slightly as stepped closer to her folding his wings further against his back. "Is that what they call Mage's these days.. I guess you could say I have sorcerer blood...I was beaten down because of it though...and by your looks so were you.. Who did that wound I see..?"

Rinoa jerked her gaze away, staring at the horizon before closing her eyes, sending twin tears slipping down her skin. The shame and shock of the reason behind her wound was so great that she answered before she had thought better of it. "My...the man who was my husband..." She whimpered softly, the pain searing her soul and her voice was a tortured whisper, "He betrayed me with another...and then fought against me when I attacked his lover."

"I see....that kind of betrayal hurts doesn't it...and the person who took him from you...you want him dead...or hurt badly yesss?" he stepped closer to her shifting his wings again and then let them fade from his shoulders.

Her hair formed a dark halo as she shook her head in denial. "No... I don't want that! Seifer was my friend and Squall...oh god I love him....even now I love him. I care for them both!"

Words failed her and she began to sob softly, trembling as she raised her hands to her face. Youkai was right though...it hurt...it hurt worse than any wound she had ever received and she could do nothing to quell the sudden rage that flooded her. Love and hatred blurred in her mind and she cried out again, whimpering Squall's name before answering him, the truth cold upon her lips. "Yes...I want to hurt him...as much as he has hurt me..."

He allowed a small mocking smile to grace his lips as he leaned towards her taking her chin in his taloned hand. "So beautiful..." He leaned closer and kissed her softly on the lips running his tongue over them briefly before drawing back. "You taste...very sweet..." ' More than you know my darling pretty...your rage is sweeter still..'

For the briefest of moments, she yearned for the kiss to continue, feeling as if her entire body had just taken part in that small caress. An unconscious sound, fainter than her gasping breath, escaped her lips, the smallest moan of longing. It had been so long since she had felt anything like this, since the last time Squall had...Squall! She jerked away from his grasp, her eyes wide in shock then narrowing in anger. "How dare you!" She took a step away from him, trembling from the brief flush of desire and her growing rage that he had presumed so much. "Do not touch me again."

Youkai fairly sang with pleasure at her rage. He took her chin again in his hand and kissed her again this time forcing her lips to open and accept him, then he ran a hand along one of the wings as a sudden idea formed in his mind. ' It has been to long since I have enjoyed...any form of this pleasure...' He drew back then watching her silently for a moment before speaking. "You do not tell me what I can or can not do.. If I wish to touch you in *any* way.. I will..."

Rinoa froze for an instant, her body cold with fear and then fire began to dance in her veins as her entire world turned red. She had always been close to Zell and now she blessed her fiend's foresight for having been tutoring her in hand to hand combat. She wrenched herself away and drove her fist into his body, angling the blow to strike upward against his rib cage, hoping to drive the breath from his body. The blow numbed her entire arm and she did not linger to admire the result, instead whirling and fleeing as if Cerberus himself were nipping at her heels.

"Fools...the both of them." The soft murmur barely rose above the sound of the monitors attached to the blond man who was dwarfing the infirmary bed. It was amazing, how his stillness seemed to diminish him...granted, Seifer wasn't as hyper-mobile as Zell, but to see him in such a state made him seem almost fragile. The ridiculous notion of Seifer Almasy being described as fragile brought a faint smile to the blonde's stern visage, but then she was lost again to her brooding.

In terse monotone, she'd finally pulled the full of the details from Squall, and once privy to the sordid tale, Quistis just wished she'd had a plausible excuse to take an immediate leave of absence from the Garden. Anything to avoid becoming involved in this disgusting mess.

"...You had better wake up Seifer. There's no telling what he'll do if you don't...I can just see all of us being commanded to a glorified witch-hunt. Not that I would blame him...but of course, she had excellent reasons to act as she did as well." Moving to sit at the bed's side, she continued talking to him as if her voice actually could make a difference in his condition. "I don't want to think of how I would have reacted...if I found you two the way she did...and could wield her powers. You're lucky you're still alive...and she's lucky Squall didn't take her head. But with the mess you've all made...I'm the only one who should be considering killing anyone. Do you have any idea of how difficult it's going to be for us to keep all this from the students? The commander, his lover, and the sorceress.... it sounds like a fairy-tale gone bad."

Xu stepped into the room quietly, her eyes passing slowly over the figure in the bed before landing on the blonde beside it. "Quistis.. do you know where I can find Squall? Esthar just called, they wish to speak to him about contracting a few SeeDs."

Quistis turned her gaze from Seifer after a moment to give her friend a small, tired smile. "Training, I would imagine... and I don't think now would be the best of time to interrupt him."

Xu sighed softly as she moved to stand beside the bed. " I understand, but I do need to tell him, they're waiting on an answer.."

"Xu, Esthar may have to just sit on their thumbs and wait. The man just lost his wife and almost lost...he almost lost his friend. At least give him the time to cope with that."

"Tell them we'll accept and ask them to give us a timeframe of when they need the SeeDs." A cool voice spoke up from just outside the room, the person's shadow falling over the doorway. Xu glanced back towards the door and then nodded silently as she moved out of the room and then from the infirmary. Squall stepped into the room and stared silently down at the figure on the bed, his eyes troubled.

Quistis looked up at him for a moment, keeping the cool, distanced mask in place as she rose to her feet, even though, in her heart, she wanted to offer some form of comfort to her friend. But she knew him enough to realize the reaction she'd earn from him if she gave into that urge. This was Squall at the moment, but as soon as he was shown sympathy, Squall would become the Commander. "He hasn't changed, but the med staff said he was sleeping peacefully. They were very optimistic in regards to his condition and recovery. "

He nodded silently in acknowledgement, pulling his gaze from the still form to Quistis with effort. "I'll be leading the team to Esthar, I want you to remain here and keep things running, prepare the Garden for mobility as well.. we don't know if we'll need it, but I won't take the chance of another incident like before..." he paused then looking away from her to the window in the room. ".....she has ties to Galbadia...and they have a history of being easily used..." Sighing once, he shook his head and turned away from both the bed and the blonde SeeD. "I'll be taking Irvine, Zell and Selphie with me.."

"Squall..." Despite the instincts telling her to stop, to shut up and just go about her orders, she couldn't. She just couldn't this time. Quistis softened her voice, her eyes troubled. "I know...with all that happened...that you're all hurting...and that you both must be angered. But you don't seriously think that Rinoa would try to start an uprising...do you?"

He moved towards the door and paused before leaving through it, head down. "....no...but I don't know.. I didn't think she'd attack us, even if she did find out either.. I was wrong.. " He lifted his head to look back at both Quistis and Seifer. "I won't place the Gardens at risk the same way.. I can't afford to be wrong again.."

Lowering her eyes briefly, she took a small breath and glanced back up at him, stepping behind the serene mask again as her gaze touched his eye. "Understood, sir. If there's nothing else, I'll go inform the others."