Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Defining Love ❯ Chapter Six ( Chapter 6 )

Defining Love

Chapter Six

 

“Was it really okay to just leave? It's not like it would matter now, but do you ever wish you'd at least met the kid, ya know?” Raijin questioned as he stared pensively at Seifer.

 

Together in Pop's Pub, they sat waiting for Fujin to show up. They were going to hash out plans for their next trip, and hopefully settle on the right coordinates and reel in the big catch they'd been after. They always met at the local bar to reach such decisions, finding the casual atmosphere to be far more workable than in the office. Their business had grown quite a bit, but the three of them were still the same lowly fishers at heart.

 

Jade-green eyes continued to scour the near vacant bar, attempting to find something distracting. Fingers absently tapping on the table, Seifer replied, “The kid never knew about me. It's not like I abandoned him.” He loathed how it was so easy to ignore it all, but impossible to forget.

 

Raijin's dark brown eyes stared at the former knight for several moments. It was plain to see the blond wasn't entirely convinced of those words. The tone of conviction seemed false somehow. Perhaps he'd hit the nail on the head with this one. How could Seifer not have at least considered going to Esthar after all these years? This wasn't a simple or uncomplicated matter. While he'd respected Seifer's decision from the very beginning, he wondered if it was the best course of action.

 

Fingers still drumming, Seifer continued to stare past Raijin's shoulder. “It wasn't much of a choice when it was made clear that my presence was unwanted,” Seifer muttered darkly.

 

Raijin sighed. “Seifer, who do you think you're talkin' to, ya know? That's total bullshit.” Seeing the agitated gleam in dangerous green eyes, the burly fisherman elaborated in a more polite manner, “I ain't no head doctor, but it seems like you're trying to say you had no choice so that you don't feel guilty or something.”

 

“Guilty?” Seifer scoffed in incredulity. “I don't do guilt.”

 

“You've thought about it though, right?” Raijin questioned

 

“It's a little hard not to,” Seifer stated lamely. “But that doesn't mean anything. What the hell would I have done with some kid? I'm not exactly the best role model. Besides, in the past ten years, how often have we been on the mainland?” It was rather bruising to his ego to admit that he might have put up with infrequent meetings with the snot nosed brat if only to satisfy his occasional curiosity about the boy. He'd never admit to it though. As far as his pride and everyone else was concerned, he still objected to the idea of mercenaries and families mixing.

 

With a small shrug, Raijin briefly tried to calculate the math. “Not a whole lot I guess. But I mean, it's a weird thing, ya know?”

 

“What is?” the blond questioned, slowly being drawn into the conversation. His eyes settled on Raijin, preferring to give more attention rather than feigning disinterest.

 

Bristling uncomfortably for a moment, Raijin replied, “Being a dad and all, ya know?”

 

“I wouldn't know,” Seifer stated evenly.

 

Shrugging once more, an attempt to dismiss any gravity to his words, Raijin commented, “I think it'd be weird, but a good kind of weird, ya know?”

 

Quirking a brow, Seifer eyed the man curiously. Something was up. The last time Raijin had been talking about children, he'd found out he had a son. Naturally, he was slightly wary of where Raijin was going with this. “Define `good kind of weird',” the ex-knight grumbled.

 

Scratching the back of spiky black hair, Raijin blushed sheepishly. “It's not like we ever had parents to show us anything, ya know? But, you're always hearing how people do the opposite of what their parents did, so I figure it doesn't matter either way.”

 

“Uh-huh,” Seifer intoned with a bored inflection, wondering if he should stop Raijin before hearing something truly disturbing.

 

“I think it'd be weird to have a kid, but kind of nice, ya know?”

 

“Kind of nice,” Seifer repeated slowly, eyeing Raijin suspiciously. “The last time we talked about you having kids, you said you wanted to jump ship, if I remember correctly.”

 

Grinning despite the odd air between them, Raijin admitted, “It's been a while since then, ya know? When was that, like ten years ago?”

 

“Something like that,” Seifer agreed.

 

Tens years of hauling in lines and nets, not to mention the upkeep of his skill with a gunblade, had left Seifer as fit and toned as ever. Hours under the sun each day left his skin richly tanned. At thirty-five, the finest of crows feet at the edges of his eyes were only noticeable because of the paler coloration after squinting continually in the bright light of day. His once well-mannered style of short and slicked back hair was now slightly unkempt, long enough to be tied back with a frame of shorter strands. If there was one thing that had changed, it was his need for appearances. Out in the middle of nowhere, it wasn't worth the trouble each morning when Fujin was the only woman within a day's voyage.

 

“Me `n Fu are doing good, real good, ya know?” Raijin said, dark eyes gazing with an almost hopeful glint at their posse leader. “We've been dating for twelve years, not counting those three months we weren't speaking to each other.”

 

Seifer scoffed, amused by the memory of being on the ship where they had no choice but to face each other every day. “So what, are you looking to get hitched?” he questioned, beginning to see where the brown skinned man's line of directive was going.

 

“There's that,” Raijin began tentatively, “And there's other stuff.”

 

Rolling his eyes, Seifer leaned back in his seat. He was hardly slow in understanding what his friend meant. At the sight of the white haired woman that completed their trio, he nodded his head in greeting, preparing himself for the news that had yet to be directly broken.

 

Fujin seemed unhappy as she roughly pulled a chair from a nearby table and dragged it over to sit in backwards. Legs spread to straddle the chair and back hunched as she leaned her arms against the back of it, her red eye glanced from one man to the other.

 

“Good timing,” Raijin said, nervously fidgeting under Fujin's piercing gaze.

 

“So you're knocked up,” Seifer said flatly, his lack of enthusiasm the same as disappointment.

 

“AFFIRMATIVE,” Fujin answered, face set in a dark frown.

 

“You look like you want an abortion,” the ex-knight observed aloud, no bars holding back the blunt words that rolled off his tongue.

 

Shrugging noncommittally, the white haired woman expressed her indifference on the matter. “FAT,” she bit out tersely, obvious loathing the weight women universally gained in the nine-month span of bearing children.

 

Raijin chuckled. “You'll always look good to me, ya know?” he assured.

 

Seifer winced before anything even happened, knowing the inevitable kick to the shin was coming. With a sickening contact between Raijin's vulnerable shin and Fujin's steel-toed boot, the blond shook his head.

 

Doubled over to baby his leg, Raijin disappeared from green eyes' line of vision, beneath the table's edge. Turing an amused gaze to the violent woman, Seifer smirked. “You'll kill him at this rate,” he commented on Raijin's behalf.

 

“FOOL,” Fujin stated in explanation.

 

The blond simply nodded in agreement. Taking pity on the dark haired man, who was likely going to be limping now, Seifer said, “When Fujin mentions her weight again, don't say she'd look good fat. In fact, don't say anything at all.”

 

With an agreeing nod of approval, Fujin accepted Seifer's words as sound advice that her future husband should heed.

 

Stretching his arms above his head, muscles shifting beneath the thin material of his faded red t-shirt, Seifer slouched in his seat. With a groan, he made himself more comfortable. “Why do I get the feeling our mission for the next big one is canceled indefinitely?”

 

Eyes glistening a bit, Raijin popped his head above the table. “Our trip ain't canceled man. But, in like… uh, around…”

 

Knocking her knuckles on the table, Fujin then extended her index finger and tapped it gently.

 

“Shit, once a month?” Raijin exclaimed.

 

“That's right genius,” Seifer muttered. “Once a month, every month. Then you get to week twenty-eight, that's seven months out of the average nine, and those monthly visits turn into every two weeks.”

 

“Hyne,” Raijin groaned in complaint. “I hate doctors.”

 

Barking with laughter, Seifer kindly added, “And that's if it's all by the book.” He shared a glance with Fujin, both of them seeming to think the same thing.

 

After a moment of self-pity, Raijin raised his head from his hands and gazed curiously at the ex-knight across from him. “How do you know so much?”

 

Straightening a bit, Seifer defended his knowledge. “It's common shit. Why don't you know it?”

 

Fujin let her knuckles rap on the wooden table in three even paced hits. She smirked, her single eye sparkling with mischievous amusement. Throwing a quick glance to the man at her side, she gave a terse shake of her head.

 

“I agree with Fu, that's bullshit,” Raijin intoned, sitting straight.

 

The corner of his mouth twitching as his grin faltered, Seifer shot the white haired woman a glare. “Fucking hell, I might enjoy leaving the business if it means not having to put up with you two.”

 

“So,” Raijin lilted. “For someone so disinterested in having kids, why do you know so much, ya know?”

 

Rolling his eyes, Seifer waved a hand to gesture that the answer was hardly much of a secret or cover up. “Remember Sharon?” he questioned impassively.

 

“PSYCHO,” Fujin commented with a mock shiver to emphasize her word.

 

Shaking his head with a bemused smirk, Seifer waved his index finger to refute such a conclusion. “She wasn't psychotic, just enthusiastic. Besides, she was a Hyne damned monster in the sack, one of the best lays I've ever had.”

 

“Are you like dodging the point here, ya know?” Raijin input, quite interested in hearing Seifer's best excuse. It was easy enough to corner the ex-knight when he had Fujin by his side. It was their balance of power.

 

“She was obsessed with prenatal crap, always walking around the apartment while spouting off the stuff she needed to know for her tests. It's hard not to know something when your girlfriend mumbles it in her fucking sleep.”

 

Dark brown eyes widened slightly. “She was psycho,” Raijin mumbled, belatedly agreeing with Fujin.

 

“Can we get back to what actually matters?” Seifer bit out testily. He quite agreed with the pair, Sharon had been rather deranged. Still, she was a blunt woman with a hot body. She was smart and he'd known from the beginning that in a matter of months, she'd leave for some graduate school in Deling City. Basically, he had an easy out of the relationship. If she'd been a total neat freak and obsessed with studying, then it had been at least something he was able to ignore.

 

Seeming to remember the rather grave discussion ahead, Raijin sobered. “I thought we'd have this last trip together, ya know?” he muttered dejectedly.

 

“AFFIRMATIVE,” Fujin barked. She too had been under the assumption that pregnant women didn't need to really do much until they were ready to give birth. However, she'd just come from the small clinic in town and learned that there was a hell of a lot more involved than just waiting around for the baby to finish growing.

 

The conversation that followed was decidedly grim in nature despite the happy couple's plans for marriage and starting a family. Seifer was suddenly a third wheel, not factoring in to the change Raijin and Fujin were intent on making. Their company, Horizon Fresh Fish, had grown to the point where the loss of two of its three founders wouldn't put a very large dent in the prospering business.

 

While slightly bitter, Seifer couldn't deny that he'd seen it coming. In some ways, he'd been a third wheel since the beginning, though it was easier to just remain in denial. Raijin and Fujin had gone seven years without him and had managed just fine. Dating for way too long without getting married, it was foolish to think that they'd stay as a posse of three forever.

 

The trouble Seifer faced wasn't in regards to the venture they'd started together, but far more personal than that. It had never been about the business with them, though that had been a side benefit. Without Raijin and Fujin to sail with, he didn't exactly feel game for going himself. However, if he wasn't taking a ship out and at least manning the crew, then he had nothing left but to sit behind some desk and man the helm via paperwork.

 

In the ten years since the war had ended for him, he'd never ceased his training exercises and still felt the same loathing for anything that resembled the work of a desk jockey. In many ways, he was still a fighter. Perhaps just a fighter in waiting, secretly hoping the world would change back and there would once again be a need for mercenaries like him.

 

Selling the company wasn't necessarily the smartest decision Seifer had ever made, but next to joining Ultimecia it was looking pretty good. Besides, ten years was a decent amount of time to have done something he enjoyed, even if he'd have preferred more time than that.

 

Though he was financially taken care of, the ex-knight had a rather problematic situation to deal with once all the contracts were signed and titles handed over. There were very few things he knew how to do in life. And at some point the money would run out.

 

He knew how to be a mercenary and he knew how to be a fisherman. While his leadership skills were polished, he wouldn't get much farther than being the CEO of a small time fishing company, not when he'd nearly destroyed the world. And worse yet was his standing problem with authority, making it difficult to start at the bottom and not be fired before working his way up. There really wasn't any place for him to go.

 

The time of peace had lasted so long that many people were beginning to take it for granted. Though his name was a distant memory, his role as a knight was still not forgotten. Despite being manipulated into doing the sorceress' bidding, there were many devastated people who would never forgive him. It was for this reason that he questioned his sanity when deciding to move to Esthar.

 

As an honest man, he could not deny his curiosity over many matters. Perhaps it was Raijin and Fujin's decision to tie the knot and start a family. It was making him think that perhaps it wasn't such a bad thing, and that enough time had passed to alleviate the sort of atmosphere war created.

 

After years of being a cadet at Balamb Garden and experiencing war first hand, it had been hanging over his head and distorting his perception of what mercenaries should be doing. There was no need for him or anyone else to spend the rest of their lives training and forgoing such things as family. But, it was difficult to change his opinions about what he'd been taught. Family and war didn't mix, but that didn't mean one needed exist without the other, especially when peace had reigned for so long.

 

So he was left to consider many things, among which was his own son. Moving to Esthar hardly meant he'd be ringing Leonhart's doorbell, but there was a certain allure in doing so when he'd be within the same country border.

 

Seifer had thought about his son a fair few times since leaving Esthar ten years ago, but he'd also thought about many other things that usually didn't come up in casual conversation. He'd thought about his time as a cadet in Balamb Garden, he'd thought about his time at the orphanage in Centra, and a lot about the war. Ten years was a long time to think, anything and everything under the sun had showcased as a thought at one time or another.

 

He'd left because there hadn't been any point in staying or even occasionally visiting the boy. It was weird and awkward and he didn't want any part of it. He'd been called cold hearted many times by an array of girlfriends over the years, but he failed to see how that was at all the case. Leonhart seemed well adjusted to playing the role of a mother, wasteful as it was for such a talented fighter to become a complete pansy. And, every day, month, and year that had ticked by had only made it easier to take no part in it.

 

For Seifer, the meaning of family was completely lost. He was surprised Leonhart understood it. He wished Raijin and Fujin the best of luck, but highly doubted they'd be capable of raising anything beyond an eggplant. He failed to see how children were anything but a responsibility, and couldn't help but feel that it was all born of necessity to continue to human race.

 

TBC…