Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Dreams Come True ❯ Lament ( Chapter 2 )

A vibrant streak of sun, shooting gracefully through the sea.
Intertwining with a soothing beam from the moon, the two lovers cavort and blend into each other to become one. They dance the smooth, slow step of love; then just as quickly the beam of the moon's joy is pulled back into its shining orb, leaving only her dim twilight to sparkle the world with her glimmering tears.
And that dream, too, fades away.
In its place, a memory:

Tidus...slowly fading away. He never could hide himself well - the blind man could have seen that he didn't want to leave us all...leave me.
But still I always ask.
Why?
Why did you have to leave me, alone?
Everyone had always been enough. Lulu, Wakka, Kimahri. And then you came along, and we unwittingly drew ourselves into each other's hearts.
And they weren't enough anymore. I would be with them and still be alone. They will always have their place in my heart - they are, to me, my family. But you, Tidus, have a place in my soul that no one can take.
I can still feel your arms wrapping around me. You were so *real,* my Tidus, even then as you assumed your place as a faded dream.
But you weren't a dream - you cannot feel a dream's arms holding you near, you cannot feel the brush of a dream's hair against your cheek or the heat of his breath against your skin.
You had to be real...some way. And yet still you were taken from me. You knew it would happen...you knew.
For how long? How long did you have to face the fact that we would lose one another? That I would lose *you?*
I knew from the very beginning that it was a journey I would not return alive from. Thus, I couldn't expect to feel anything for anyone. But when you found out...that I would die...you wanted me to live. And I wanted to live too, for you. You made me want to do anything but the pilgrimage - 'to hell with Sin, to hell with Yu Yevon, let me just lie here while your arms and your lips tell how you cherish me.' I think those were my thoughts that night. But I knew I had to go on, and so did you.
I do miss you so...
You promised.
You said we'd go to Zanarkand together - your Zanarkand. You said we'd go back to the Moonflow at night, to see the pyreflies - you promised you'd play blitzball for me. And I knew you'd show off, especially for me. I wanted that.
You said you'd come running if ever I just whistled. I did, and where are you now...?
Tidus, I said what I did not out of desperation, but out of truth.
I love you...



There were drying tears on Yuna's cheeks when she awoke.
She lay awake for a long time, brooding restlessly. Then she finally got up, unable to sleep. Noting the time - only four or five AM - she dressed and quietly slipped out of her grand room, careful to close her French doors silently. The floor was marble, cold and uninviting, but if her feet were chilled she hardly noticed it. Winters in Besaid were never mild, and so she was used to it.
"Yuna." She started at the deep voice, whirling around in surprise before she realized it was Kimahri. "Yuna not sleep tonight?"
"Oh...I slept alright, Kimahri, I just woke up and can't fall back to sleep. A few minutes of fresh air'll do me good."
He nodded. "I come with you."
"No, that's alright."
"Kimahri Yuna's guardian. Would not be good guardian to leave Yuna alone."
She smiled halfway. "Thank you, Kimahri, but I just need some time by myself."
He paused before nodding, slowly. Yuna turned to go, but stopped at his next words; his voice was low and soft, understanding.
"Kimahri understands. Kimahri knows too that Yuna should not be alone. And Kimahri knows still that Yuna does not want the company of anyone but Tidus. Yuna...needs to heal."
He was right. "Thank you, Kimahri, you're right in every way. I love you all very much...but..."
There were soft thuds as padded feet crossed marble, and then his hand was on her shoulder with a giant's gentleness. "Kimahri understands, Yuna. Now go, quietly."
She nodded and smiled at her guardian, then headed down the grand staircase towards the ocean patio. High Maestress - it was too much for her. Grand clothes, grand people, grand things, all in a gigantic house touching the clear waters of Besaid. They had built this palace in a month and a half - a seemingly impossible feat, but they had done it for their Maestress nonetheless. It was so cold, and so empty, but was the pride of Besaid anyway. It wasn't *her* - it just simply did not match. A simple, warm woman does not belong in an elaborate, cold palace.

Yevon is dead, she thought bitterly. Must I be a god in its place? There are a few firmstanding believers - Wakka, surprisingly, is no longer one of them - but Spira's religion is dying.
I don't want to build a false fire in the hearts of the people of Spira...I don't want to have to answer to the question, "what now?"
But I'm going to have to...and the funny thing is...
I don't know.


At once Yuna felt the dampness and freezing cold of an oncoming storm as she stepped outside. The moon and stars lit up the calm ocean, but the telltale stillness said that the seas wouldn't stay calm for long.

I still have the world on my shoulders. I still have people to take care of. My family; my guardians, my Al Bhed cousins. But I don't feel like I can do it. I would, if Tidus were here.
If.....
I should stop lamenting so. He's not coming back....
But I can't stop thinking about him, not for a moment.
The first time I saw him, he looked just like a sunbeam. He really did. I was disoriented from my first joining with the fayth - all I saw of him was a pastel painting, the tone of his skin, his clothes, and a streak of gold; his hair.
I sensed something in you, Tidus. I wanted to be with you - wanted you near me. Maybe it was love at first sight - maybe not. I don't know. All I know is that I knew I couldn't let you leave. How embarrassed I was when I told everyone else I wanted you to stay with us; how could I have told them it was because I sensed the earliest embers of love forming inside my heart? I had never felt anything like that before. And I knew I wouldn't ever feel that again.
So I decided to hold on to it as long as I could; maybe it would grow, maybe it would fade, but the feeling would have been remembered. And it grew, and became something wonderful and dear to me. And to you, Tidus, that I know.


She walked slowly down the icy-cold steps to the water's edge, sitting on the edge of the platform that was just high enough to let her legs dangle without touching the sea. Yuna stayed there, silently pondering the slight ripple of the ocean beneath her, and awaiting the sunrise.

With it, maybe she could move on. Maybe it would begin another chapter in her life; without her hero, yes, and with the world on her shoulders.
But with the world's people holding her up, every one of them with the love of peace in their hearts.



Well before dawn, the residents of the Besaid manor - Yuna's guardians - were awake and to their daily business. They had been told by Kimahri where Yuna was, and told not to go to her. None of the guardians had understood why, save Lulu - she knew well what Yuna was feeling, and with an understanding nod, repeated that everyone should leave her alone.
Wakka especially didn't understand - after awhile of hearing his argument, Lu playfully sent her favorite Moomba doll after him, thus casting Silence on the blitz player and adding to his frustration.
Rikku laughed, poking Wakka continuously. "Whatcha have to say to *that,* huh, Mister Macho Blitzball Player?"
He tried to talk, but nothing came out - Rikku laughed harder as Wakka stood in front of her, arms crossed, grumbling mutely. Lulu sensed inwardly that perhaps there was something growing between those two - it gave her a little happiness to know that Wakka no longer sought so much to fill Chappu's shoes. Rikku would be good for him, actually - her lighthearted, playful persona did something to everyone. Perhaps she healed them, a little bit at a time, letting everybody know that life wasn't over yet. There were still laughs to be laughed, joys to be savored -- and pranks to be played on unsuspecting blitzball players.
Rikku cast Esuna on the silenced Wakka, and he got as far as opening his mouth to say something before the young Al Bhed girl leapt onto his shoulders with surprising ease and tugged at his cowlick.
"*Now* whatcha have to say?"
"'OW', that's what! Stop it," but he was laughing too, hands gripping her shoes to help balance her.
There was a knock at the door before Rikku could reply, and she hopped off of Wakka as easily as she'd hopped on, prancing over to the door.
It took some effort to pull open the grand doors, but when she did, Rikku immediately surged forward and threw her arms around the guest's neck in an ecstatic hug.
"Ranna!!!"

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Au thor's note: About the beginning of this chapter, Yuna's dream...the sun and moon metaphor stand for Yuna and Tidus. Tidus, with his name's obvious ties to water removed, means 'sun' in one Japanese dialect. On the other hand, the name 'Yuna' translates to 'moon.' Anyone notice that her name even ties loosely with 'Luna,' which translates to 'moon' even in English? I thought this was really neat. 'Wakka' isn't meaningless either. It means 'water.' (As if we couldn't have guessed THAT one :P)