Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Essential Blue ❯ Denial of a dream ( Chapter 1 )

This is a present for my friend Chihiro-chan (care-Chan). Care-Chan, being the hypocritical manipulative evil person she is demanded a final fantasy lemon for her birthday (she hasn’t written one yet>> Flame HeR!) For the first two weeks I was totally stumped, I’ve played
3 FF games, and she demanded a yaoi, as much as I love it, I wasn’t in the mood to write an Auron/tidus ficcy, and (as you’ll see) I’m not all that great at making Irv/zell In character. Seifer/squall being WAY too over done (I still love It) I decided on my favorite new alt.
Pairing w/incest; Laguna/Squall.
The 1st person to flame me about the ickiness of incest and how horrible this story is
will receive a Vaccendectomy with a spoon. I mean it. I have spoons. They hurt.
I do not own FF8, Squaresoft does.
Happy birthday Care-Chan!!

-ZELL POV-


'G'dammnit! Why the hell do I get stuck watching Squall when he's in one of his moods?! Grr...Frickin' hell.' Zell had been assigned what was essentially now glorified babysitting...Sure, Squall was his friend, they'd grown up together...Though he may have forgotten that for a while...But the point was, he really didn't mind watching Squall. That just didn’t mean he couldn't complain about it impeding on his sex life.

Two Frickin' years and you'd have thought that Squall would have lost that whole Mr.-independent-pouting-suicidal-teenager persona; but then again, he wouldn’t be Squall if he had. Three weeks ago Rinoa had left suddenly, they had no idea why, because surely for their stoic commander to have kept her around this long, he had to love her. It had been comforting, the thought of Squall having someone who could relentlessly see through those walls of his, and finally understand him. At least, that'd been what he'd thought.

"Squall, come on; y'gotta know where she is, just call 'er!"

The brunette continued to try to incinerate the papers he was signing with his glare.

Hyne Fucking Damnit! "We're all worried Y’know! It won't kill you to admit whatever you did wrong, and go make up with her, Damnit! She's crazy 'bout you, Y’know she'd take you back!"

Squall didn't dignify hi with a response, but Zell could have sworn he saw that stack of papers tremble in fear of the Commander's murderous expression.

"Fine! If your gonna mope, then do it on your own time, I'm not gonna waste mine!" the effect was totally ruined at the worried glance Zell sent him as he left the office.


Squall POV

Squall glared after the blonde fighter before sighing. It was amazing how dense his friends could be. Who in the world had come up with the idea that he loves her? For the past two years, since they'd met, all of his friends had continually pushed them together. He had tired to love her, if for nothing else than to be normal, to be accepted by his friends. Then Rinoa just had to bring up his attitude.

She'd been in a strange mood he weeks before she left. She'd been asking him when he was going to stop pretending to be so depressed when he'd reached the limit. He had never been a happy person; EVER. He never would be a totally happy person, by a far stretch of imagination he could see himself content, but he would never be someone who was nice, friendly ,social as Rinoa expected of him.

The door hadn't hit her on the ass as he yelled at her to leave and never come back.

That had been two months ago. Admittedly, he hadn’t thought he would get this depressed; it was just like before he became a SeeD. He'd been a mess back then, excessively suicidal and anti-social...Not that any of his friends knew about the former...That wasn't exactly true, he could have sworn Seifer had once seen the scars on his arm, but he'd dismissed it as paranoia.

Squall smirked.

He had become dramatically closer to his friends in the last year, but it was beyond him how they could be so dense. He wasn't even straight, so why in the world would he like Rinoa in that way? That wasn't to say he wasn't sorry he'd lost his temper, wasn’t sorry for her leaving, as much as she was annoying and he'd like not to admit it, Rinoa was his friend; one of the most persistent in making him in a good mood. He'd been in a good mood...for him at least...when she was around.

But there was no way he could ever love her that way, and she didn't understand that, neither did anyone else. So now he was back to where he started. It felt like he was drowning. His friends couldn't help him anymore; thought they tried, the constant hovering was not only pointless, it was annoying. He was the commander, he had responsibility; he couldn't act like this.

That really didn't change a thing. Squalls eyes fell tot he desk, his arms folding, he laid his head down, content in knowing that no one was going to be checking on him for at least another hour. His eyes were darker than usual. He COULD NOT have been lonely; that was all wrong.

"Ugh...This sucks..."



-Irvine POV-

"Hey darlin' how'd it go?"

Zell jogged out of the elevator, smiling to his boyfriend as he thought up an excuse. 'How cute, 'thinks he's gonna get out of this without Quistis knowin' probably...Oh, well.' Irvine leaned down slightly to give the younger boy a kiss, trying his best to ignore the annoyed eyes surrounding them.

"Ehe...Not good, I can't take being up there anymore...Frickin' hell, it's like trying to talk to a brick wall, except a brick wall doesn't glare back at you..." And right there...Quistis was turnin' purple, gettin' ready...Yup, There it was; meltdown.

"What sort of excuse is that, ZELL? Weren't you supposed to be watching him?" Zell winced slightly, before rubbing the back of his head. Quistis didn't give him a chance to mutter an excuse. "What the hell makes you think that just because you have a hot date tonight think you can skip out on your responsibility!!! we agreed, all of us, that we would try to help Squall!!"

Irvine tried his best not to wince as well, but pulled off a look that made him appear properly chastisized. Quistis was shrill when she wanted to be, even more so when it concerned Squall, or any of them for that matter...

"Ugh! Fine then, you two go do...Whatever you were going to..." Quistis stoically tried to ignore the grins evident on the couple’s faces. "I'll go up and deal with Squall for a while.

Zell sobered slightly. "Quist', I don't think that would be a good idea, Y’know? Give him a little bit of down time. If he start getting pissed about being babysat, then he'll just leave; how're y'gonna hover then?"

Quistis glared slightly at the implication of her big sister persona was a problem, before huffing and agreeing with him, deciding instead to go see Nida and Xu instead.

"I think I'm gonna be hearing about that one later..."

Irvine smiled and shook his head. His younger lover had a habit of pissin' people off, but for the most part, no one stayed angry when subjected to puppy dog eyes. "She'll get over it...So...Dinner?"



Weeks later, Selphie POV
Esthar embassy, meeting


As much as Selphie loved going to Esthar; flying the airship even more, and going to see Sir Laguna; Laguna's 'interference' committee as they were, always had their meeting with her first. Selphie had a strong suspicion that they stalled her from getting o Laguna in an effort to make him do more paperwork that he normally would give anything to get out of. Being the president of a technologically advanced nation sure was hard.

Selphie didn't have to do anything at these meetings, she just had to sit there, look halfway interested and wait for Laguna to tell them to go away. Once a month, Esthar held conferences with Balamb, Selphie had been made ambassador to garden and was making an effort to get Esthar to open up more. Galbadia, Trabia, Shumi, and Centra all had their heads of state interested in trade negotiations.

As much as Selphie hated serious work and stuffy politicians, her bubbly attitude got them to effectively sit down, shut up, and watch in awe of the yellow mass of pure energy. Laguna was the one Politician that she really did like, and she could safely say they were friends, she being, young hyper, and happy. He acted like a teenager, enthusiastic, and kind. Speaking of which...

"Sir Laguna! I have a very important...err....something I have to talk to you about.! So if you'll excuse me...!"


Selphie pushed Laguna up the stairs, away from the baffled politicians, dazed from her retreat.

"Sorry Selphie..." Laguna's hand went behind his head in the practiced path of embarrassment. "I had paperwork, and Kiros is busy with meetings of his own right now so..."

"That's alright Sir Laguna! Esthar is so much better than Garden right now, Quisty's on the warpath again! Without Rinoa around to help with the Garden committee and the junior class events, things have gotten a little busy and---"

"Rinoa left?"

Whoops. Big BIG mistake. Laguna knew that Squall loved Rinoa just as the rest of them had. Laguna, being the absent but dutiful father, and having a naturally sweet and (sometimes) helpful disposition...Spill of the info, Selph. "Umm, Yeah! No idea where she is, but she's been gone a few months. General Caraway's been a bit busy with Deiling lately, but I'm sure he knows where she is! Nothing to worry about."

From the expression on Laguna's face, he clearly didn't believe her. Squall would be so pissed if Sir Laguna showed up in the middle of his workday. "What about Squall?" There it was. Bombs. She could hear bombs bursting as she caved, rushing...Pressure...ALRIGHT ALREADY!!

"Oh Sir Laguna, Squall's been depressed, and Quisty's been trying to baby-sit--- Zell and Irvine are trying to help, but their dating-- And Squalls been working a lot more! Even Seifer's been leaving Squall alone! Cid's at Edea's and since Squall is in charge of garden, technically he's the headmaster no one can really say anything and---" Full out rant mode, no breath needed.

Well crap! Quistis wasn’t gonna like this. Selphie watched wide eyed as the president of Esthar, Laguna Loire stalked out of his office, heading in a direction strikingly close to the airship. No, Quistis was not going like this.


Hours later...
Balamb

“Ehh...Quistis?”

The strawberry blonde looked ready to shred the next person who blinked to pieces with her hands. “What?” She gritted out. Zell, being oblivious, didn’t notice the danger to his health and continued.

“Should we really be letting him just go up to Squalls office like that without warning?” Quistis graced the blonde fighter with THE LOOK that clearly said to shut up under threat of vasendectomy.

“D’you wanna go up ‘n get ‘im?

Quistis, Zell and Irvine all visibly shuddered at facing the wrath of a pissed off Squall AND a very determined Laguna. That of course didn’t stop the three from watching attentively the elevator as it came back down and listening for signs of mass murder from above.

“It’s not all that bad! Sir Laguna might be able to cheer him up!” Thus the voice of enthusiasm.

Quistis scowled once again. Zell turned to Selphie, trying to make a point without making her pout, “well, it is all your fault, Y’know; Laguna didn’t HAVE to know...”

“An’ besides, doesn’t Squall hate Laguna?” *crash from above* “...Who’s gonna volunteer to fly the pieces back to Esthar?”

*crash bang SMACK*

“Ehe...”




Squalls office


This sucked. Squall felt like shit and he was fairly sure he looked the part as well. HE hadn’t slept for days, and he was almost sure he hadn’t eaten anything since early this morning. The shadows beneath his eyes were prominent and he wasn’t entirely sure that he would be up to the effort of his usual routine of glaring hatefully at whoever dared to disturb his office; it didn’t seem worth the effort right then and he couldn’t bring himself to care that whoever DID come in next would undoubtedly report directly to Quistis that he was now death warmed over.

The worst part was, he had no idea why he was now so...Withdrawn. Rinoa was not the reason, he was sure. For the life of him he couldn’t convince anyone else, but he had no doubt that under normal circumstances he would have shrugged off her absence as a minor annoyance; a loss of a secretary. No, this had been building up. Gradually he had withdrawn from his friends, and they hadn’t noticed.

The downward spiral was effecting him as he remembered it did before. Back when he was a new SeeD, back when he had been ready to die at the first word of chance he was given. Squall leaned back in his chair, absently looking out at the view of Garden, florescent colors reflecting back at him grotesquely. It was a sick joke that every day when he came up to his office he had to stare at such upbeat colors. Dark had always suited him better; it complimented his mood.

Squall barely fought as he slowly was lured into sleep.


---DREAM SEQUENCE--

Squall barely reacted as fine wisps of black silk brushed lightly over his arm. He was laying on the bed, on his side. Whoever was caressing his side smelled sweet; like sugar and a tiny something he might have called cinnamon. Like some kind of candy.

Long black hair played lightly over his shoulder as the other leaned over him to touch his back. Squall was amazingly calm considering the fact he now realized himself to be naked in bed. The hands playing over him were soft, but textured; moving with precision, not quite in rehearsed movements but random, and at the same time deliberate, a pattern that the other dare not break.

Soft, slightly uneven breaths ran lightly over the small of his back, and Squall felt a prickling sensation, as though knowing exactly where the others gaze was then. Squall moved languidly, relishing the heat inside the room, curling slightly more into the comforter below him.

Those hands moved slowly to his chest, stroking gently, and he leaned into he touch, against his will. A silky voice passed his ear and eh could have sworn that the other was laughing at him, but seemed pleased, so it really didn’t matter. The person’s face came partially into view, but try as he might, the only thin Squall could see were deep blue eyes, loving and protective, focused on him.

This was no simpering girl. No princess or teenager begging for his eye. Squall couldn’t bring himself to care that this was a man, undoubtedly older and unfamiliar. This was what he was looking for, what he needed.

The man pressed his own arousal to Squalls side and Squall whimpered, the noise coming out small, animalistic and vulnerable. Hyne, the heat alone would consume him soon. The room was burning and he loved the feeling, the heat protected him; there was nothing to fear. No judgment was here, no denial, nothing remotely hostile compared to the stark brightness of the world he was faced with daily. Surreal, unknown and addictive.

When, where, why, who, how; nothing mattered. The man leaned forward more and flipped Squall onto his back, making Squall even more aware that the older man shared his state of undress. Even staring into his face, the name didn’t click; he knew this person, he trusted them, but he couldn’t place a name on that face, as though it had been erased just as his memories had been stolen before by the GF. But no; he knew this person, he just wouldn’t let himself see that, shielding himself from some inexplicable truth.

Lips forcefully claimed his own and Squall grinded up, seeking desperately more contact, some new connection to the slick, hot skin. He was hard now, he knew, no denying it and he wanted nothing more than...What? He didn’t even know, but this man had it, he wanted that want to stop so much...He needed it.

“Squall, lean forward for me.”

Not a question, an order. Some form of release had to be close, he was begging now... “Please...Now? L-“ He didn’t know what eh had been about to say, but that velvety hot mouth tasted of cinnamon and was once again devouring him, demanding he give in. Squall tried his best to lean forward, his chest brushing the man above him. He was flush against him now, his legs straining to keep him up, struggling to keep the fiery need from liquefying his legs and disgracing himself.

A hand reached up and tweaked a nipple, biting harshly and in stark contrast to the exquisite friction of the hard body pinning him. Squall broke his lips away, leaning heavily on his tormenters shoulder, breathing harshly and sobbing in frustration.

“Please Laguna! Stop teasing me!”

Numbly, he didn’t register the name, his brain refused to accept it. All he knew was that aching need. Laguna hushed him, his deep voice reassuring that strength so comforting. HE tried to get him to calm down, but Squall refused anything less; release, then.

Kisses were laid gently on his shoulder and Squall let loose another whimper as fingers made their careful path down his hip to the apex of his legs Squall nearly panicked as he realized the intent on one area, and squirmed halfheartedly in an effort to get away. Squall calmed slightly, his lover giving him slight pause to relax, began parting him and a finger pressed lightly inside. Squall let out a loud protest, a keening cry when it was removed but before he could even finish the noise, the finger had plunged into him, slick with some unnamed substance.

It was strange, and squall tried to move him legs up, to move anyway, to influence that presence embedded in his ass. But his hips were pinned down instantly, hardly having been given the chance to move and realize the sharp intrusion. The finger was plunged in and out several times before being removed again. Squall bit lightly into the shoulder so deliciously presented to him, and muffled what may have been a protest as two fingers were forced in next.

This time that demanding hand didn’t’ hold back, it was going deeper, deeper than he thought possible and he suppressed a shiver of fear before he was overwhelmed. Those fingers had found SOMETHING, some small node inside of him that was driving him made, those slick digits pulsing gently, searching against it and he spasmed uncontrollably, almost unseating the hold on his hips.

Even as the hand withdrew again, another was reaching down as well, encircling his cock, squeezing lightly, teasing him towards the edge all the more. Leaning once more into that punishing hand, he didn’t immediately notice the other once again reappear and was surprised by the sudden deep intrusion by a third finger, wringing a cry of undiluted pleasure from him, the third finger slamming straight onto that spot.

His hips were now free to move and he bucked harshly, trying to get those fingers deeper. He was stretching around them, trying to accommodate and he nearly purred at the feeling. His eyes, lidded and wanting, Squall laved the abused neck before sucking lightly, his arms caressing their own paths down his lover’s body, exploring his hips, his chest but each time just skirting his arousal. The fingers were removed, being coaxed by the seductive display from the younger man.

Squall felt himself spread even further apart, positioned on his back, inviting entrance. Squall clenched his teeth as he felt the size try to move easily inside him, steadily realizing the length. Grunting, and sweating from the effort not to pull violently away, he was put off guard by the sudden feeling of being totally open, filled completely; impaled on a foreign shaft. Squall gasped even as whispers were spoken in an effort to relax crying muscles.

Tears were coming from his eyes and dimly Squall noted that position had changed, he was now sitting on his lovers lap, parted and stuck in that position, though undoubtedly more comfortable that he would have been. His hands gripped, digging deeply into strong shoulders, not allowing movement but at the same time forbidding moving away.

“Calm down, your fine, it’s alright...” Calming, strong voice, whispered. Hands held his hips once again, but now they stroked lovingly, easing the tension evident in the strain on the boys face.

As Squall gradually accepted the feeling, His legs were forced farther apart. Though it was uncomfortable, he easily adjusted tot eh compromised position. Laguna experimentally pushed deeper, and drew a startled cry from Squall, his eyes widening before clutching him even harder.

Taking that as a good sign, began a slow, pace, not daring to move far from the warm, tight heat. “Hyne...Squall...” Squall shimmied his hips, biting his bottom lip and searching for that spot that made his vision darken.

“Nn....! Ahh!!!” Squall could feel it so deep, embedded inside him, nothing he could deny. As Laguna hit a particularly sensitive spot, Squall buried his face in his neck again, biting down deeply, drawing blood, and muffling the scream that almost came.

“So...Tight...” The older brunette had his nose above Squalls ear, taking in the smell of sweat and Squall; intoxicating. Losing all composure, he brought Squalls hips up before plunging him down again.

“Ah---Un!! Lagu---“ Shit, so deep, so fucking much. Squall cried out louder still, near screaming from the feeling, “Laguna!!” It hit. Laguna was releasing into him and Squall was goin still. Then it sunk in. Even as he was coming, so sweet; Laguna was fucking him. That was Laguna letting go so deep inside of him.





“Damnit!!” Squall came awake in a rush. Distractedly he ran a hand through his hair, brushing it out of his eyes. He DID NOT just dream about that, it wasn’t possible, it wasn’t tight. It should have been disgusting. Then why was he wanting sti...No.

That was wrong. He didn’t feel like that, the idea itself was an impossibility. Squall came back to himself upon hearing the elevator chime brightly. Selphie was reporting back from the Esthar briefing…Oh no. There was no way.

Hyne just could not be that cruel. “What the hell are you doing here?”






TBC!I had a time limit here, and since I was reading fanfics more than writing, there was no way I could finish this as a oneshot with all my ideas within the allotted time before the birthday. My first Yaoi lemon, I know, it’s rushed; I PROMISE I will include at leas tone more and I’m going to take a lot more care with that one. I’m estimating between 3 and 5 chapters for this and I’m hoping to release once a week...If Kuro Mokuromi doesn’t hit any snags.
Replies? Maybe? Constructive criticism?
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