Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Final Fantasy Drabbles ❯ Pain ( Chapter 2 )

Title: Pain

Pairing: Reno/Kadaj

Rating: 12

For: Sweetseme

 

Reno had been watching the silver haired male before him silently from the doorway but it seemed he couldn't quite restrain himself from speaking even though he had meant to. His voiced slipped from between his lips and what he heard was laced with the concern that had been building inside him, “Yo, you should try to get some sleep.”

 

He watched as bright mako tinted orbs turned to eye him from where the slender man stood between the two hospital beds. Those eyes were shadowed, dark smudges in the pale skin under blue orbs. Kadaj's milky white skin looked thin, as fragile as tissue paper pulled taut over muscle and bone. It was clear he hadn't been eating and Reno was a little uncertain as to why that stirred something inside him.

 

When Kadaj spoke his voice was hollow, the words almost flippant, “I'll sleep when I'm dead.”

 

Reno couldn't help feeling something twist in his gut in response to those words, if you were dead you couldn't do anything and he said as much, “Well that's stupid - sleeping's fun, full of dreams and shit. You can't enjoy it if you're dead.”

 

“Not for me.”

 

Kadaj's words froze him to the spot - he usually couldn't stop moving. Rude always said he had too much energy not to fidget and he knew it was true, he was like a kid on to much sugar but it was a natural state of affairs for him. So the stillness caused by Kadaj's words was surprising but he couldn't move, there was so much pain laced inside that simple statement that he found himself conflicted. If he had been anyone else he would have tried to comfort, to cheer with meaningless words and jests. But Kadaj was the enemy, which confused him even more - in truth he should be dead.

 

Reno gasped suddenly as he was shoved against the wall with brutal force, his head cracking against the plaster as long slender fingers restricted his throat. When he tried to speak his words were little more than choked sounds, as his head throbbed with pain and he squinted at his attacker from shuttered eyes.

 

Reno watched Kadaj's face as he all but screamed at him as he remained pinned to the wall, “Just fuck off. Why do you come here? Just leave us alone!” The red head felt something boil up inside him and he flung out his arm shoving the other man back hard enough that he slumped to the floor. He grunted as those fingers tightened around his throat before releasing as Kadaj tumbled backwards colliding with the metal frame of the hospital bed before landing on his ass.

Reno scowled down at the other man, not really absorbing the stunned expression on the silver haired man's face before he snapped out, “Nah... fine.” He didn't wait around; spinning on his heel and stalking out of the room, fingers easing over the skin of his throat and knowing there would be some interesting bruises. It wasn't the first time someone had tried to choke him but for some reason there was a tight feeling around his chest that he just didn't understand.

 

The fiery red head never saw the lost look that stole across Kadaj's face as he watched him storm from the room or the wince as he picked himself up. The silver haired man slipped between the two beds and climbed up onto the one nearest the window, pressing his face close to his younger brother's. “Wake up.”

 

 

00-00-00

 

 

Reno watched the spiky haired man tinkering with his motorcycle wondering if he some how found the task soothing or if it really was just practical obligation. Every time he came here the blond was always at it. “Cloud...”

 

“Mhhmm...”

 

He waited for Cloud to say more but knew from past experience that the guy was practically monosyllabic - well, with him at least. So he went straight to asking questions and hoping that Cloud would give him some kind of answer. “Why did you save them? They tried to destroy everything and bring Sephiroth back.”

 

Reno waited and what finally came for the blond was not really the answer he had been hoping for. “Because...”

 

He sighed audibly, feeling that familiar frustration bubbling to the surface once more. He all but growled at the silent blond as he continued to work on Fenrir, “Because what?”

 

“Everyone deserves a second chance.”

 

The red head wasn't really sure what to say to that. He'd been mulling over quite a lot of things over the past few weeks, doing his best to stay away from the hospital in the hopes that these odd needs would ease with time and distance. And yet they lingered, filling his heart with uncertainty and confusion. Why did he feel a tug deep in his belly whenever he thought of Kadaj. That arrogant, emotionless asshole shouldn't mean anything to him and yet he had found himself remembering the way his face had looked when watching his two brothers, the sadness that seemed to fill him.

 

The man had looked so lost.

 

Reno found himself looking at Cloud once more after his eyes had drifted to the ground, as he had gotten lost in thought. He felt a question fill his chest, and yet all that came out was, “But...”

 

“No buts.”

 

Well that was a little blunt but in some ways he needed that kind of black and white. There was far too much grey in the world that was the reason he was here. Cloud was the source for the information he needed and he was grateful for the solid answers he would give him, if he was inclined to do so. But he would never let Cloud know that. He smirked prodding at the blond for more information, “You know you're damned frustrating. Can't you explain more than that yo?”

 

Cloud just looked at him over his shoulder, hands finally stilling, remaining silent and he knew that was his answer.

 

Reno nodded once in assent before turning to leave. He tipped his head and jerked at his fringe in a weird kind of salute, calling over his shoulder, “Later, yo.”

 

 

00-00-00

 

Reno had spent a while trying to stay away and yet every time he found himself practically prowling the halls of the hospital. He had gotten the strangest looks from the nurses and doctor's alike as he'd moved around, agitation written in every line of his body.

 

Though he prowled the halls it wasn't until Rude came to frown at him that he broke.

 

Reno didn't see the dark man come down the corridor but he felt his body grow tight with tension as his familiar voice echoed in the hall around him, “You know your upsetting the patients?”

 

He pouted at Rude, not really wanting to discuss it. He had seen the way people were starting to avoid him and it irritated the normally jovial man. “Hn...so?”

 

“You are being a brat.”

 

He turned on the bald man, scowling at his placid features. But the anger he felt quickly drained away, shoulders slumping in defeat, “I just...”

 

His head came up quick, staring at Rude's eyes that where peering at him over the tops of his infamous sunglasses. “Would you just go and do what you keep coming here to do. For someone so spontaneous you're being a coward.”

 

Reno felt his hackles rise at Rude's accusation but he knew deep down that it was true. He'd come here to do something and holding off wasn't helping. But the red head still felt conflicted about everything. The way Kadaj had lashed out at him hadn't boded well for his chances. He looked imploringly at his partner, his oldest friend hoping that the other would give him some small shred of hope or just a damn clue where to start. “Rude... I just don't get it.”

 

“What's to get? He's a man who's in pain. He isn't really that experienced with emotion so he lashed out. Wouldn't you be the same?”

 

Reno thought over for a few minutes, absorbing Rude's words and the sincere look in his brown eyes.“I... yeah.”

 

“Well then?”

 

The red head chuckled softly at the pointed glare the other gave him before he straightened up, settling his sunglasses back up the bridge of his nose. “Che...fine. You seem to know everything”

 

Reno watched Rude shrug at his words the tiniest smile curling the corner of his lips before he spoke, “Not everything. Just some things.”

 

Reno raised an eyebrow at the other man, before turning and heading for the staircase. He waved over his shoulder absently, a soft “Hmph” his only thanks to his friend before he was around the corner and gone from sight.

 

Reno moved up a few flights of stairs and quietly walked onto the ward were the three brother's were situated, moving on auto pilot until he reached the doorway to the room he had left in such a hurry almost a month before. He had finally worked out what he felt inside, but ahead of him lay what he thought was an impossible task. Could Kadaj feel the same? He really didn't know but as he took a deep breath and pivoted around on his heel to look through into the dimly lit room - he was willing to try at least.

 

Reno frowned as he looked inside the room, moving one step inside searching for the haunted figure of the man he had come to see. He didn't register the quiet sounds echoing in the small space for a few moments but when he did something tightened in his throat. He stood motionless, trying to locate the quiet whimpers and half bitten off cries and walked inside the room and turned to face the beds. On the floor sprawled out between the two metal beds that contained Kadaj's brothers lay the man he had been searching for. As he slowly moved forward, he absorbed the sight of the frail looking man, seeing for what felt like the first time just how young he was.

 

The fine trembling that stirred the sheet that had been placed over him and the way his body was curled inwards had Reno dropping to his knees and crawling up alongside him. He didn't really know what to do but instinct would have to guide him he, couldn't leave Kadaj like this. The sound that spilled from Kadaj's bitten lip made Reno want to curl himself around the silver haired male and that's exactly what he did. He lay out across the floor, front pressed to Kadaj's hunched back and carefully reached out, stroking calloused fingers through limp silver locks.

 

The change wasn't immediate but the tension that filled Kadaj's body lessened a little. Reno leant in pressing his cheek to Kadaj's pale skin and spoke softly, “Wake up your having a nightmare.”

 

The red head wasn't surprised when Kadaj jerked awake and tried to shift away from him, his need to be close, to feel Kadaj's body against his own had him reacting without thought. He looped an arm around the slender man and tugged him back down and against his chest, words spilling past his lips unbidden, “You really need to take better care of yourself yo.”

 

He watched Kadaj try and struggle, but the time he had spent in the hospital watching over his family had taken its toll on him. Though he was still a formidable man, right now Reno was stronger and he used that to his advantage.

 

Kadaj growled at him, “Let me go.”

 

Reno snorted softly, “No.”

 

Kadaj sputtered staring wide eyed at the red headed man, confusion lighting those bright mako tinted orbs, “But…”

 

“No but's. You need someone to take care of you and I am that someone we clear?” Reno watched as Kadaj seemed to process that information, his blue-green eyes looking wildly around the room before returning to him once more.

 

“You can't...”

 

Kadaj shook his head in denial as he spoke and Reno had no qualms about interrupting. “I can and will now shut up and settle down.”

 

He glared down at the other man pinned to his front, waiting to see what he came up with next, “I…”

 

The red headed sighed at the new line of questioning he was sure he would receive, “What is it?”

 

“Nothing.”

Reno raised an eyebrow at the response to his query but let it slide for now. Speaking softly as he settled himself more comfortable on the hard floor, “Go back to sleep.”

 

He watched as Kadaj settled himself, he wasn't sure if the silver haired man realised that he was pushing back against his body, the length of his slender form pressed against his own. He released his fierce grip, carefully tugging the thin blanket up before laying his arm across Kadaj's waist. Reno continued to watch the other man as what felt like hours passed, plotting inside his head. He hoped that with time perhaps Kadaj would come to know him he had no ideas as to whether that would progress further but he hoped.

 

He looked down into Kadaj's face; brushing a stray strand of liquid silver from his face he heard a soft sigh of words fall from raw lips, “Thank you.”

 

Reno smiled down at Kadaj, maybe hope wasn't lost after all. But right now he had to deal with the situation he had found the silver haired man in. He remembered the pain of loss, the sight of a little red haired boy being told that his mother wasn't coming home filled his heart with an ache so deep he almost whimpered aloud. He looked down at the silver haired man nestled against him and drew in a shaky breath. He wouldn't let that happen to him.

 

At least he would try.