Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Final Fantasy Radio/T.V. Network ❯ Final Fantasy Law ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Squaresoft characters, although I am to blame for what will happen to them.

Okay, here's the pitch. My accomplice and I have created radio stations for each Final Fantasy realm. They are as follows; FF IV Fantasy 4 Channel, FF V News Headquarters, FF VI Vector Central, FF VII FBN 7, FF VIII BGN8, FFIX Gaia 9 Station, FF X (well, they are a pirate station so there isn't really a name, yet.), and Global Station.

Each has there own shows and don't expect anything to go right. Alrighty, don't adjust your radio, the static is there to throw off federal officials. Stay Tuned!

~~~~~~~~~(Fizz, Crack!, Fizzzzzzzz, BEEEEPPP!)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FF III Justice: Hollywood Style!

Cast: Bailiff- Locke Judge- Geshtal

Defense-Edgar Prosecution- Kefka

Defendant-Edge Witness-Celes

Locke: Hear Ye, Hear Ye, the court is now in sesss….

Edgar: Objection, Your Honor.

Geshtal: To what?

Edgar: Nothing, Your Honor. We're just warming up.

Kefka: Your Honor, the people would just like to state that we also have no objections at this time.

Edgar: Objection, Your Honor. Every time the defense says something, the prosecution feels they have to say something.

Kefka: The people do not.

Edgar: Do too.

Kefka: Do not.

Edgar: Do too!

Edge: Ok, stop! I confess! I'm Guilty!

Geshtal: (Who is this guy, anyway?) Ahem! Order in the court! (to prosecution). Proceed.

Kefka: Uh… where were we?

Geshtal: (checking his notes) You were on, `Do not'.

Kefka: Oh, right. Do not!

Edgar: Your Honor, the prosecution is clearly jealous of the defense because we have a lot of marquee legal talents such as F. Lee Bailey and the late Raymond Burr.

Kefka: Objection, Your Honor. The people have reason to believe that that is not really F. Lee Bailey.

(a murmur runs through the court.)

Geshtal: Darn it, Bailiff! I ordered the murmurs be removed from this courtroom!

Locke: (drawing his gun) I'll take care of it, sir.

Kefka: Your Honor, if that IS F. Lee Bailey, how come he hardly SAYS anything? He just sits there day after day, not moving. The people request permission to stick him with a pin.

Geshtal: I'll allow it.

(Prosecution proceeds)

F. Lee Bailey: POP! SSSSSsssssss………….

Geshtal: Let the record show that "F. Lee Bailey" is actually an inflatable doll wearing a 1,000 GP suit.

Edgar: Objection, Your Honor. That suit cost 1,500 GP.

Judge Cyan: Do you have a receipt?

Edgar: Objection! This judge is from an entirely different radio show!

Geshtal: I'll sustain the objection.

Edgar: …….Which one!

Geshtal: I have no idea! Let's proceed with the expert witness.

Kefka: (to Celes) Please state your name and the size of your book advance.

Celes: My name is Celes A. Chere and my advance is 350,000 GP.

Kefka: And who will be playing you in the movie?

Celes: We were thinking of Brad Pitt.

Edgar: Objection1 We were considering Brad Pitt playing us.

Kefka: Brad Pitt!? YOU?! Your Honor, the people request permission to laugh until little snot bubbles form in the people's nostrils.

Edge: I'll sign a full confession. ( I don't even know why I'm on trial!)

Edgar: (sarcastically) And we suppose the prosecution wishes to be played by Demi Moore?

Kefka: (also sarcastically) No, Sharon Stone.

Geshtal: I'll allow it. Proceed.

Kefka: General Celes, you are a biological and genetic expert, are you not?

Celes: I am.

Kefka: And do you thing the people's hairstyles look better this way, or the way the people were before?

Celes: This way.

Geshtal: What about my beard?

Celes: With all due respect, Your Honor, I have seen more impressive facial hair on a coconut.

(laughter)

Geshtal: (angrily) Bailiff! Where is that laughter coming from?

Locke: From inside a set of parentheses.

Geshtal: (sighing) I'll allow it. Continue.

Kefka: General Celes, I am handing you exhibit No. 2038-B. Can you identify this item for the court?

Celes: Yes, it is a DNA molecule from the defendant.

Edgar: Objection! We can't see the exhibit! (gives a snicker)

Kefka: Of course you can't you Hinky! It A MOLECULE!!

Celes; Or a poppy seed, you know. It's a 73% chance either way.

Kefka: (trying to regain a straight face) Now, Gen. Celes, can you tell the court, in your own expert words, what `DNA' stands for?

Celes: What are you, a WACKO? Of course.

Kefka: I…see. Now Gen. Celes, could you please tell the jury…as an expert, whether the defendant could have this DNA molecule-or poppy seed at the scene of the-

Celes: Tell WHAT jury?!

Geshtal: Darnit, bailiff!! The jury escaped again!!

(another murmur runs through the court)

Gun: POP!@!

Locke: I-I got the murmur, Your Honor!

Edgar: Objection The bailiff shot a reporter from the National Enquirer!

Geshtal: I'll allow it!

Kefka: Your Honor, while we're waiting for the authorities to track down the jury, the people request Your Honor's permission to ask the witness approximately 850 unbelievably redundant questions.

Geshtal: Of course.

Edgar: Objection! As councel for the defendant, we cannot-

Geshtal: Hey, where is the defendant?

Edge: (running out of the courtroom) AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!

Case Closed.

Notes- Ok, this story was written I don't know how long ago, but I think you can guess on you own from some of the characters involved.

I know some of you are thinking "Hey, it say FF III up there. It should be…." yes, I know. Give me some time and it will be clarified and corrected in the future.

Don't ask me what Edge was on trial for nor what he was doing there. Obviously it was an error or a glitch in the game and that was probably why he was on trial.

Ok, I'll send out another chapter just for you to get the feel for the stories. YEEE HAAAWWW!!