Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Final Fantasy: The chronicles of Four! ❯ Raking in the 'd'oh!' ( Chapter 16 )

I thank you all for your support and for not getting mad at my lack of response! Now is the time we all have waited for, another awesome chapter! Remember what I said last chapter, okay? Anyway, I don't own any FF games or 8-bit!

 

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Having new spirit seemed to enlighten more than Fighter as seven more people stood in front of the fortress. Fighter walked through, inspecting them all.

 

“All right. Black Belt put me in charge of registration, and that's what I plan to do! Now, whoever brought you all here, state you name and everyone else's!” Fighter boomed. A blue-haired man in a bandana raised his hand, and Fighter allowed him to speak.

 

“My name is Firion.” He said, “Behind me is Leon, Cecil, Kain, Cloud, Tidus, and Auron.” Fighter held his sword like a ruler and gave Firion a skeptical look.

 

“And why did you come here?” Fighter asked, “How did you know about our cause, if in fact, it has nothing to do with any of you?” Firion pointed to the red-coat bearing, greasy-haired, sunglassed hero, Auron.

 

“He said he felt such a disturbance in the air.” Firion replied, “Yeah, Auron is kind of freaky like that.” Cloud threw his sword on the ground, looking rightly pissed off.

 

“I thought you said we were doing this to pay for my 8,000,000 Gil sword!” Cloud cried, kicking dirt, “Now that weapon store owner is gonna kill me!” Fighter, however, paid no attention to Cloud. He instead ran to the sword's aid, and dusted it off.

 

“You mean you use swords too!?” Fighter asked, glee ringing in his voice. Cloud nodding, taking his sword back.

 

“Of course! Swords are the best damn thing since… oh, I don't know, cheese food!” Cloud replied proudly, “I feel sorry for the fools who try to take me on with fists alone.” Fighter gave him a hearty pat on the back.

 

“I know how you feel, man.” He said, “I felt that way when I held my first Claymore.”

 

“Claymore!? Dude, that is so twenty years ago! Now people are going for Crystal Swords!” Cloud exclaimed, “Those things slice anything in half!” Fighter's eyes widened at the thought of such a holy sword.

 

“Now I'm intrigued! Tell me more!” Fighter said as he and Cloud began to walk off.

 

“Fighter, what about registration!?” Black Belt yelled, as he hopped off a roof he'd been working on. Fighter looked back, and gave a cheery wave. Black Belt was about to go after him when Auron stopped him.

 

“It's best not to go.” He told him, “No one can resist the thought of a Crystal Sword…”

 

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Meanwhile, our heroes were traveling slowly down the rivers of Crescent Island. As Thief steered, Red Mage held out his hat as an Imp threw 5 Gil in. White Mage sought to ignore this by reading, but Black Mage didn't have quite the peaceful outlet.

 

“I can't believe we're actually doing this.” He said, pacing along the deck, “This has got to be the stupidest idea I've ever heard!” Red Mage took back his hat for a minute to answer Black Mage.

 

“Well, how else did you expect to raise enough for the spells? The monsters here were too hard!” Red Mage cried, “Thief nearly died from the fiery breath of a hydra!” White Mage put down her book and looked up at Red Mage.

 

“I hate to say this, but hydras' breath isn't fiery.” She commented, and went right back to reading. Red Mage blinked as he thought about what she said.

 

“Well, if the hydra didn't use fire, who did?” Red Mage asked. Black Mage whistled innocently as an Ogre threw in a chicken leg. Thief looked at him and stopped the canoe abruptly.

 

“Hey, HEY! Read the sign! We specifically said money only, pal!” Thief said sternly. The Ogre shamefully took back his chicken leg.

 

“Me sorry. Me have no Gil, but me wants to help the We Are Poor fund.” The Ogre said, and walked back towards the fields. When he was out of sight, Black Mage immediately began his ranting again.

 

“And that's another thing! What kind of idiot would consider helping an organization called the We Are Poor fund!?” Black Mage asked, “If you ask me, I say these guys are just bribing us so we don't kill them when we gain almighty powers!” A pirate who'd been walking towards the ship immediately stopped and looked at the Sahagin standing next to him.

 

“I told you they were onto us!” he hissed, and the two quickly stalked back towards the ocean. White Mage once again stopped reading.

 

“Well, if we're to gain almighty powers, we need to level up. And this isn't doing it.” White Mage said. Red Mage took out a flyer he'd found in Crescent City.

 

“I'd say you're wrong there, WM. It says here the scholars back in the Square offices are tinkering with a new advanced leveling up system where you don't need to kill mercilessly for gaining EXP.” he explained, handing her the flyer, “For instance, we may be able to gain a level by simply giving a cat a fish or something like that.” White Mage looked mildly interested, but Black Mage wasn't convinced.

 

“If you haven't noticed, chowderhead, we're NOT in the Square office and nothing even remotely close to this new “level up” system has even happened yet!” Black Mage yelled, throwing his hands out. Thief continued to steer again.

 

“Well, the way I see it, we're just “experimenting” with this new system!” Thief replied, “That way we know the boys back home are doing their jobs.” Black Mage choked back the urge to set the canoe on fire and sat down, trying to cover his entire head with his hat. After an hour of trying to ignore the clinking of Gil being thrown into Red Mage's hat, Black Mage sat up a little more.

 

“Do we have enough yet!?” he asked as a Hydra threw in some Gil. Thief gave it a cheery wave and counted the Gil. Black Mage tapped his foot impatiently until Thief finally gave the answer.

 

“Well, after that snake woman gave us a pile of gold, we now have 75,000 Gil, excluding the 10 that Hydra just gave us. That should be enough for a spell for each of you and some spiffy new armor!” Thief exclaimed, and began to row the ship around. That is, until the Ogre came back, this time carrying a large basket.

 

“Ugh, what does he want now!?” Black Mage asked. The Ogre set the basket on the small canoe.

 

“Me think of way to help tiny humans. Me give big basket of Ogre Cookies to feed tiny humans.” The Ogre said, “Me hopes you like!” White Mage, Red Mage, and Thief smiled nervously and waved to the large beast, and then continued to do whatever they were doing beforehand. But because they were so busy, no one saw Black Mage throw a Bolt spell and smite the Ogre, who crashed into the river.

 

“What was that explosion?” White Mage asked, turning a page in her book without any real expression of interest. Black Mage turned to her and gave a cheesy smile.

 

“Probably nothing overly important.” He replied innocently. After that, the trip back into Crescent City was a quiet one until they actually went into the city. As soon as they got into a shop, Black Mage began an argument with the shopkeeper.

 

“I'm sorry, good sir, but I will not lower my prices!” the witch said sternly.

 

“But 20,000 Gil for a stupid Fire3 spell is ridiculous! How can I afford that AND Bolt3 with only a 20,000 Gil budget!?” Black Mage asked, stomping around. Red Mage gave him a tap on the shoulder.

 

“You know, if I buy Bolt3, it'll almost be like having Bolt3 yourself.” He tried to reason, but not surprisingly, it wasn't effective. All it really did was piss Black Mage off even more. He turned around, eyes glowing an unnatural red.

 

“Shut up, you! There is no way you'll make this any better without me killing you!” Black Mage hissed. Then he stopped to think about what he said, “On second thought… keep going.” White Mage thankfully was better with reasoning.

 

“BM, why don't you just wait until we release the Fire Crystal? We'll no doubt have to come back here, so just buy one spell now and we'll get the rest later!” She said, exasperated by the unnecessary argument. Black Mage shrugged.

 

“Fine, I'll take Bolt3.” Black Mage mumbled. The witch handed him a scroll, and Red Mage stepped up to the counter.

 

“I'll have Bolt3 as well.” He said, but Black Mage shook his head.

 

“No, I don't think so, cream puff.” He laughed, shaking a finger, “I'm not going to let you have any spell I'm already using currently. You'll take Life and like it.”

 

“But I don't want life! Fine, I'll take Fire3 then!” Red Mage huffed. The witch looked down at her clipboard.

 

“You're lucky, hon. Fire3 just went down to a level 5 spell, so it'll only cost you 8000 Gil.” She said, tilting her glasses. Red Mage gladly paid for the scroll, and also selected Cure3 from the small level 5 scroll stand. Black Mage nearly blew a gasket as White Mage took her turn. Like Red Mage, she also selected from the level 5 stand.

 

“I'll take Life and Harm3” she said. The witch handed her the scrolls as she paid for them. Black Mage stomped up to the stand again, and slapped the Bolt3 scroll on the table.

 

“I want to refund this and get Fire3.” He said, but the witch shook her head.

 

“Sorry, but we don't do that.” She told him, and showed him a sign which read “No refunds” on it. White Mage and Thief dragged Black Mage out of the magic shop as Red Mage made his way to the weapons shop. The prices there were somewhat more affordable, and after the purchases, everyone was suitably equipped to go into the volcano… or as equipped as they could be.

 

“Was it really smart to buy silver weapons!?” Black Mage asked, as they walked towards the river where their canoe laid, “I mean, what if it just melts? We are going into a volcano, after all.”

 

“If you think about the statistics, EVERYTHING is kind of made of metal nowadays. Besides, this is sterling silver. It'll reflect the flames.” Red Mage explained, and waved his Silver sword slowly until it shined from the sunlight. He sheathed it and didn't give it a second thought as he climbed into the canoe.

 

“I still don't know about this…” Black Mage said, “How many people do we know have gone into a volcano and live to tell about it?” Thief got into the canoe next and picked up an ore.

 

“I don't know, but how many people can say they're the Light Warriors?” Thief asked in response. Black Mage helped White Mage climb in, and soon got into the canoe himself. Thief pushed off, and the small adventure began again. However, it took about ten seconds until they got lost.

 

“Thief, what's wrong? Why aren't we moving?” White Mage asked. But she got her answer as the river cut into two separate roads. It was obvious Thief couldn't make up his mind.

 

“RM, which way do we go!?” Thief asked. But when he turned to face his friend, Red Mage's face was a very pale color.

 

“I don't know…” he said quietly. Black Mage grabbed his collar and pulled him upward.

 

“What do you mean you don't know!?” Black Mage screamed, “How can you not know?! Didn't you buy any maps?” Red Mage shook his head, and Black Mage tightened his grip.

 

“It's not like people just randomly make maps of rivers! I didn't think we should waste time looking!” Red Mage choked, as Black Mage had begun to strangle him. Black Mage suddenly let the choking Red Mage go, and he fell to the floor.

 

“Well, I'll give you credit for not wasting time.” Black Mage said, uncharacteristically calm, “But the one time we need a map is the one time you don't have one. So, Mr. Survival Expert, what should we do?” Red Mage got up and dusted himself off, shocked by Black Mage's sudden personality change.

 

“Okay, this river is undeniably big. We should probably use this as a starting point by marking it with a Fire spell. Then we should take the left path and see where it goes.” Red Mage replied, thinking clearly about what their options were. But unfortunately for him, their options included getting lost, or going back to Crescent City, and he didn't feel he should tell Black Mage that.

 

“But what if we get lost and have to turn back?” Thief asked, oblivious to the fact that that question was the one Red Mage was trying to avoid.

 

“Uh… Well…” Red Mage stuttered, lost for a good reply. Thankfully for him, a Hydra was swimming down the river.

 

“Well, never thought I'd see humans around the river again! Not since the accident back in '87…” it said, “Is something wrong? You folks look a little worse for the wear.” Black and White Mage both just stared at each other, and Thief looked even more confused. Red Mage leaned over the side of the canoe.

 

“We're a little lost. Can you help us find Gurgu Volcano?” Red Mage asked. The Hydra merely blinked at the question as though he couldn't process it, and then he called a Crocodile over.

 

“What's up?” the Croc asked, swimming over.

 

“These clearly good people want to know how to get to the old volcano that Kary lives in.” the Hydra replied. The Croc looked like it might just have a heart attack.

 

“G-G-Gurgu Volcano!? Kary!? Why would they want to go there!?” the Croc asked, “It's dangerous and lava-filled! Not to mention really, really hot!” Black Mage rolled his eyes impatiently.

 

“Gee, really!? We thought it'd be like the North Pole, what with all the LAVA!” Black Mage yelled sarcastically, “Forget your technical mumbo-jumbo! Just tell us how to get to the damn hole, lest I kill you with Bolt3.” For total fear of electric death, the Croc pointed his tail east.

 

“Take this path for a while, and then it'll split. When it does, go south and follow it wherever it goes until you see a… well, volcano. That's how you know you're there.” The Croc explained. Thief picked up the ore again and waved.

 

“Thanks, guys!” he called as the Croc and Hydra both dove back into the murky deep. He pushed off again, and took the left path, as per the Croc's suggestion. Turning around the corners were hard, but thankfully the current wasn't strong. Soon they came to another split, like the Croc said, and took the road south.

 

“What is that… unbearable smell?” Black Mage asked, as he sniffed at the air. Red Mage sniffed as well, and sneezed.

 

“Smells like brimstone… I think we're close.” Red Mage replied, “Look. It's starting to get foggier.” Thief worked even harder to control the canoe in the thickening fog, no doubt from the sudden bursts of heat from the volcano. White Mage decided to peer out and see if she could see the land.

 

“Thief!! Slow down! The land…” she tried to call, but she was too late. The canoe smashed into the shore, and the four heroes flew out into the sandy beach.

 

“Thief, you idiot!” Black Mage yelled, getting up and spitting out sand. Red Mage got up as well and turned around.

 

“It matters not how we landed. We've made it!” he said, “Inside that cave is the fiend of Fire, Kary.” Black Mage flicked his wrist with boredom.

 

“Well, let's do what we do best then. Annoy the crap out of her until she blows herself up.” Black Mage said, strolling into the cave. Red Mage helped Thief up, and with White Mage, they followed Black Mage quickly.

 

“Maybe we won't get singed in here…”

 

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Alright! Our heroes are onto their next Crystal! But can they defeat Kary? Is she guarding the Crystal that powers the Orb? Was Cherry Town rebuilt? And what happened to the monsters who generously gave to the We Are Poor fund? Find out the answers next chapter, so click that Review button!