Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Guns and Roses ❯ Before ( Chapter 4 )

Disclaimer: FF VII and all the characters herein belong to Square Enix, except Liana (I made her ^_^).

 

Thought.

`Speech in dreams'

“Regular speech”

 

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Vincent sat in his study, staring at the computer screen blindly. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't seem to take his mind off his encounter with Tifa. She just seemed so much like her…

 

He blinked, opening his desk drawer. He slowly took out a box, opening it. He lifted the silver chain and locket out of the tiny cardboard box, holding it gently in his hand.

 

Lucrecia…

 

He closed his eyes, remembering the smell of her perfume; the feel of her touch; the sound of her laughter; remembering her. He could recall everything about her, as if she were standing before him now.

 

He could recall the way her deep green eyes sparkled when she laughed, and the way her smile seemed to light up the room. He could still feel her silky brown hair between his fingers, and the way her lips felt against his. He could remember holding her in his arms, praying time would stop right there, just for them. He could remember loving her, and her loving him in return.

 

He opened his eyes, staring at the silver locket. He could also recall him. Sephiroth, the man who killed Lucrecia in cold blood. No matter how many years went by, he would never forget that day. Even in the deepest recesses of his mind, it was there, haunting him, blaming him for her death.

 

I should have died, he thought, feeling emotion choking him. It should have been me.

 

He shook his head slowly, feeling tears in his eyes. It had been his fault. He should have finished Sephiroth off when he had the chance, but he felt pity for the poor bastard. He let him live, leaving with a light warning. He should have killed him, just like he had all the others. He could still hear Sephiroth's laughter as he lay wounded, and Lucrecia lay dying.

 

He swore he'd have his revenge on Sephiroth, and he did. It was bittersweet, seeing Sephiroth die at his hands, after all the pain he'd caused him. The sight of Sephiroth's blood spilling onto the dirt had brought him much satisfaction. Finally, the man who killed his love would feel the cold, painful agony of death as well. But, when it was all said and done, Vincent came to realize, Sephiroth truly had gotten the last laugh. Nothing he could do could bring Lucrecia back, and he lived with the pain of her death every day.

 

He slid the clasp back on the locket, letting his weary eyes rest on her picture. It was black and white, cracked and fading, but she looked just as beautiful as she always had. He felt his vision blur as a tear dropped silently onto the picture.

 

Why? Why Lucrecia? Why did you leave me? You said you'd always be there for me, but you're not. Not anymore. Didn't you know that I loved you? Didn't I say it enough? Don't you know that I can't go on without you? I love you. Was that not enough to make you stay? Was it ever enough?

 

He closed the locket. Many nights he had remembered telling her that he loved her. He said it every chance he had, afraid that she wouldn't know. Every night he dreamed of her, telling her that he needed her. Sometimes he even pleaded with her to come back to him.

 

`Silly,' she would always say. `I'm always with you. Or have you forgotten?' She would then laugh that soft, melodious laugh of hers. `You always were one to need reminding, weren't you, Vince darling?'

 

He squeezed his eyes shut, closing the locket in his fist. I can't feel you anymore. I'm losing you; all of you. Even your memory. Why are you leaving me? I need you! Lucrecia, I need you. I need you to help me, to guide me. How can I manage alone?

 

He felt another tear slide down his cheek. He opened his eyes, coming out of his thoughts. “Damn these stupid emotions,” he said quietly to himself. He sighed deeply, gently placing the locket back into its box. “I miss you, Lucrecia,” he whispered softly. “I miss you.”

 

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Tifa clutched her pillow tightly, crying her heart out. She had never realized how deeply she loved Cloud until he had pushed her away. She didn't know it would hurt this bad.

 

“Dammit, Cloud,” she cried. “I need you, you stupid idiot.” She punched her pillow. “Why can't you see that?” She sat up, wiping at her face, only to have more tears replace the ones she wiped away. “But I was never enough for you, was I?” She looked at her nightstand, seeing the picture of her and Cloud that was taken on their six month anniversary. She felt fury when she saw the smiles on their faces, and she picked up the picture, throwing it across her bedroom.

 

“I hate you, Cloud!” she yelled at it. “I hate you!” She fell back, burying her face in her pillow as a fresh wave of tears consumed her. “I hate you.”

 

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Tifa woke the next morning feeling groggy and sick. Her eyes felt crusty from all her tears, and she groaned, letting her head drop back onto her pillow. After coming to the realization that yesterday had not been some weird nightmare, she sat up slowly. She hissed and grimaced as her sore body protested.

 

Must be because of that guy hitting me, she thought, making her way to the bathroom. As she got into the shower, she let the warm water flow over her sore muscles. She wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed and stay there. She didn't want to go to band practice today, and she didn't want to see Cloud's face.

 

She felt her hands fist as she thought about Cloud. She felt such bitter anger toward him. She didn't want to have to look at his face ever again. But, she thought. I have to. For the sake of the band. Otherwise we'd all fall apart, and I can't let everyone down like that. Not when we've just gotten our big break.

 

She sighed, stepping out of the shower. She wrapped herself in a towel, feeling slightly defeated. She had to work with Cloud. And she had to learn to like it.

 

Once she was dressed, she walked back into her room, still toweling the water from her hair. She sat on the edge of her bed, staring at her cell phone on her nightstand. Maybe I should call Yuffie and tell her I won't be there today, she thought. She let her eyes drift over the slip of paper with Vincent's number on it. Maybe…

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Yuffie was tapping idly on her keyboard when Cloud and their manager, Aerith, walked into the little studio they rented out. She sat up quickly, instantly brightening. “Hey Cloud, Aerith!” she said cheerfully.

 

Cloud nodded a hello, while Aerith smiled brightly. “Good morning, Yuffie,” she said, sitting on a nearby couch. She looked around, seeing the drums empty and Barrett's bass sitting lonely in a corner. “Where is everybody?”

 

Yuffie shrugged, resting her elbow on the keyboard. She began to plunk at the keys once more. “Cid and Barrett went to get dough-nuts, and I haven't seen Tifa yet,” she said, staring blankly at the keys.

 

“Oh,” Aerith said, shooting Cloud a glance. She noticed the reserve on his face when Yuffie mentioned Tifa. “Well, hopefully they'll be here soon.”

 

Yuffie nodded. She looked up when a thud came from outside the studio door. “That's probably Cid and Barrett,” she said with a bored sigh.

 

Aerith was surprised when Yuffie's prediction was correct. She watched as the drummer and bassist came through the door, each carrying a box of dough-nuts. “Morning, fellas,” Aerith greeted with her signature smile.

 

Cid returned her smile. “Mornin' Aerith,” he said. He set his box down on the coffee table in front of the couch. “Dough-nut?”

 

She grimaced, shaking her head. “No,” she said quickly. “Thank you, though.” The thought of stuffing her face with dough and melted sugar didn't exactly please her.

 

Cid shrugged, glancing at Barrett, who was eating away at the dough-nuts in his box. “More for us,” he said, taking one.

 

Aerith watched them eat for a moment, then glanced at her watch. “You two didn't happen to see Tifa on your way in, did you?” she asked.

 

They both turned thoughtful while they chomped on their food. Cid watched Yuffie get herself a dough-nut before swallowing a mouthful. “Nope,” he said. “I didn't see her.”

 

“Me, neither,” Barrett said thoughtfully, licking the sugar from his fingers.

 

“Maybe someone should call her,” Yuffie suggested, taking a bite of her dough-nut. She glanced at Cloud.

 

“Maybe,” Cid said, looking at Barrett, before they both looked at Cloud.

 

Feeling the intense gazes of the others on his back, Cloud turned and looked at them. “What?” he asked, slinging his guitar around his shoulders.

 

“Are you gonna call Tifa?” Yuffie asked.

 

He glanced at her, his deep blue eyes shaded. “No,” he said shortly. “Why should I?”

 

“Um, only because you're her boyfriend,” Yuffie said sarcastically, as if were the most obvious answer in the world.

 

He stared at his guitar, sighing heavily. “Not any more,” he said softly. He heard all three of them gasp at the same time.

 

“Is that why you guys didn't come to dinner with us last night?” Barrett asked, his voice incredulous. “Because you were breaking up?”

 

Cloud continued to stare at his guitar.

 

“How could you Cloud?!” Yuffie demanded. She stared at him in shock. “Tifa worshiped the ground you walked on! And you broke up with her?!” She threw her hands in the air. “What, are you dense or something?!”

 

“Now, now,” Aerith interjected, standing. “I'm sure he had a good reason for what he did, didn't you Cloud?” She looked at him.

 

He nodded.

 

“Oh, take his side,” Cid grumbled.

 

“Come on, guys,” Aerith said, her voice pleading. “Let's not make this any harder than it has to be.” She shot Cloud a sympathetic look. “I don't think we should say anything about this in front of Tifa. It would break her heart if she knew that you guys knew.”

 

Yuffie, Barrett and Cid shared a look before each nodded or grumbled in turn. “I won't say anything,” Barrett said, picking up his bass.

 

“Me neither,” Cid said. He twirled a drum stick, looking at Yuffie. When it looked like she would press the issue, his gaze narrowed and his look became deadly. She looked away, an offended look in her eyes.

 

“I won't either,” she grumbled, crossing her arms. “But I'm not happy about this.” She looked at Cloud. “You got a lot of explaining to do.” A hum of agreement went up from the other two.

 

Cloud nodded, setting his freshly tuned guitar down. “Well, I don't think Tifa's coming,” he said, sitting next to Aerith on the couch. “She's not normally this late.”

 

The group simultaneously glanced at the clock and agreed.

 

“So, where should I start?” Cloud asked, watching as they gathered around.