Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Home for the Holidays ❯ Chapter 5

 Home for the Holidays

 

Chapter 5

 

 

For Darksquall. Sorry this took so long.

 

All Characters borrowed without permission from SquareSoft will be returned, only slightly traumatized, upon request. Written for love, not profit.

 

`Hero' Universe. Sap, warm fuzzies, bad language, yaoi and het, cute kids and holiday decorating

 

 

*

 

 

We cleaned up - Irvine is the one who told us the many uses of travel packs of baby wipes - and Squall curled up and went instantly to sleep. He could sleep hanging off a meat hook, damn him.

 

Meanwhile, I was discovering that sex in a Torama was a Very Bad Idea. I spent a little while walking off the back kinks; I would have taken longer but a fat drop of cold rain hit me right in the eye.

 

So much for autumn sun. Ugly black clouds were rolling in fast. I hopped back into the car, nearly disemboweling myself on the steering wheel before I got the seat moved back, and set out to hopefully beat the worst of the storm. I cranked up the heat, such as it was. Being an Estharian make, the Torama was big on A/C and vague on heat, despite the fact it got damn cold there in winter. All three days of it.

 

I cut the radio on for company and maybe a weather report. We were just on the edge of range for one of Esthar's relay stations, but all they were playing were syrupy Yule carols, so it was a mixed blessing.

 

It makes Squall nervous to let me drive; it's not that I'm a bad driver; I just don't get the chance to do it too often. When Squall's around, he usually wants to continue his love affair with the Torama, and when he's not, I use public transportation, partially because it takes an act of Hyne and considerable oral to even get the keys away from him.

 

In Esthar, the public transports are cheap, comfortable, and have the added fun factor of occasionally becoming completely random. 'Pod malfunction' is the one cast iron excuse every instructor accepts. Assuming their pods worked and they make in.

 

Anyway, Squall seems to think I have no experience handling delicate, high performance, finely tuned, over powered, deadly hair trigger things.

 

He should look in a mirror sometime.

 

Expert driver though I was, I was a mite concerned when the sky opened up and pissed down rain like the proverbial cow and flat rock. The Torama wasn't built to slog through muddy gravel roads and I could only imagine Squall's reaction when he saw the effects on the paint job. At least he could put his Yule gift to good use. Even with the wipers on high the visibility was nil, and I slowed us to about the speed of an arthritic turtle, the better to peer about hunting for our turnoff.

 

The rain turned to sleet, slushing on the windshield and the wipers labored to keep it clear. We were starting to slip around the curves of the road instead of hugging them; I figured the Torama wasn't any happier than I was about this new development. Fortunately, we were the only ones crazy enough to try and drive in this weather, so when we did spin out, we wouldn't be taking anyone out with us.

 

I crawled past the little town where the train we should have been on arrived about 7 hours ago. It suddenly occurred that we should have called Selphie and warned her not to pick us up at the station; maybe we could blame that faux pas on lack of phone reception. Or throw her the fruitcake as a distraction.

 

Some of the buildings in the village were doing the Estharian thing and had strings of colored lights along the eves - made faint and blurry by the rain, but still offering the standard lie for kids, that the Yule King was coming, bringing toys and candy for all who deserved. Squall and I had figured out pretty early on we weren't on that list, and I for one had completely lost interest in the holiday and the whole birthday thing long ago.

 

I was kind of surprised Selphie even knew when my birthday was, but then, she must have hacked into the old Garden files to find out. I had no blinking idea when hers was - I knew Squall's was in the scorch end of summer and Quisty's was sometime shortly before mine. The only birthday that was ever celebrated was Zell's, because it coincided with a Balamb festival of blessing the boats, and Ma Dincht would send dozens of white, green and blue cupcakes up to the Garden for everyone to share. Or she did until the year of the Great Cupcake Battle. Blue food dye is a bitch to clean off walls and carpet.

 

I picked a skinny little road and hoped that it was either the correct one or at least had some reasonably dry spot to make a u-turn. It was paved, if your standards weren't too high, but narrow and both shoulders looked like good places to get stuck, so I kept with it. The sun was setting, but with the weather it hadn't made much difference. 

I hit a particularly jolting pothole and Squall sat up. "Where are we?"

"Right at the Yule King tattoo on Hyne's ass."

"You always get so tense when you drive. You want me to take over?"

"Let's see," I said musingly, "Pull over into the muck and stop so we can go out in the pitch black ice cold rain and do a hynebedamned Trabian fire drill? I think I'll pass."

Eying the speedometer, Squall murmured, "I don't think we'd have to stop to do it."

 

 

Up ahead I thought I saw a flash of colored lights - either a place decorated for Yule or some sort of rural whorehouse, and I was at the point where I honestly didn't care which it was. Squall peered out into the mess. "Is that the place?"

"Where ever the fuck it is, I hope they have some holiday spirit, because we're spending Yule with them whether they want us to or not."

 

The road curved towards the lights, so we crept past an old stone wall and a small orchard before coming to a thankfully open gateway, showing the brightly decorated house at the end of a long driveway. I hesitated at the entrance, trying to see some indication of an address in the dark.

"It's the place," Squall said confidently. "No one but Selphie would decorate like that."

He had a point, even through the rain I could see giant plastic Yule King and his eight magic chicabos illuminating the night, along with what looked like an inflatable snow globe, wicker snowmen filled with tiny white lights, rows upon rows of colored lights and a large blue and white object I had to look at three times before I realized it was the symbol for Balamb Garden. I laughed, shaking my head, and guided us up the winding, sloping drive.

 

 

We turned in and ended up parking behind one of those pickup trucks with the tiny beds and giant wheels. "Zell's," Squall confirmed, reaching into the back to grab his travel bag. "And that blue van is Selphie's. Leave the rest until the morning."

"Hyne yes." I snatched up my kit and wormed my way out of the car. The porch light cut on, and I could hear hoots, shouted welcomes, and Selphie hollering "Booyaka!" Squall and I ran through the icy downpour, splashing mud halfway up our legs, but it didn't matter once we were under the covered porch and glomped by 97 pounds of Tilmit.

"You made it, awesome! When they said the bridge had washed out and all the trains were stalled in Greenfield, we were afraid you guys would have to spend the holidays in some dingy hotel by yourselves." Selphie still wore her trademark yellow, in the form of a fluffy sweater, but most of it and her jeans were covered by an apron styled to look like a Yule Queen outfit of white trimmed red with a large faux belt. She even wore the matching hat with bells that jingled as she jumped up and down.

I flashed Squall an accusing glare but he shrugged and smiled. Zell punched Squall lightly on the arm and even seemed pleased to see me, leading me to suspect they'd been hitting the Yuletide cheer a bit. He hadn't escaped the Yulification, either, wearing a green triangle style elf hat with a red feather.

"Need to get Seifer inside before he starts bitching about the cold," Squall said, bumping Zell in greeting. I used to be jealous of how close they were, but there are some things you just can't talk to your lover about. That's why I had Fuu's number on speed dial back home.

"He ever stops?" Zell reached for Squall's bag, but when he shook his head, obligingly went for the next largest item. Zell scooped Selphie up and toted her, still jabbering I might add, into the warmth of the farmhouse. Selphie's only reaction to being carried like a sack of grain was to clutch her hat and giggle.

I followed Squall in, commenting, "I don't only bitch about the cold. There is also the rain and the craptackular roads."  I paused in the entry, letting the near physical force of the holiday fervor wash over me. The house was warm, and smelled like greenery and food - apples, spices, and baked goods.

A Trabian style evergreen stood in a pot by the front windows, which were too fogged over to see through. Quistis, cool and elegant as ever, stepped forward to greet us. She was dressed entirely in Yule green, and it suited her coloring well. Quis even had a rope of colored Yule lights around her neck, and it took me a few to figure out she wasn't wearing them as jewelry but trying to untangle them. Squall accepted a quick hug. "You are both so wet - all that just from the car to here? You should change clothes."

He rolled his eyes; I leaned forward and gave Quis a peck on the cheek. "Yes, Mom. ...nice necklace, did Zell make that for you?"

"You just wait, I'm saving the icicle lights for you."

Over the jaunty holiday tunes blasting from someone's player, Irvine called, "Hey, have you guys eaten?" He was in the kitchen, wearing a shirt that said "If you be naughty, I'll be nice" in white on red, and stirring something that smelled fantastic.

I wandered in to sniff and sample. "No, we're starving. Unless that is your bowel ripping chili, in which case, yeah, we just ate."

Trabian was in a high chair nearby, dressed in red onesie that more or less matched what his momma had on, and he squealed with delight when he saw Squall, waving a soggy half gnawed gingerbread man.

 

Zell nudged Squall. "Your adoring public awaits."

 

 

He rolled his eyes but greeted Trabian solemnly, earning beaming grins from his parents. Squall adores children no matter how much he claims otherwise.

 

 

"I made Irvy make it very mild," Selphie said, stealing a cookie off a tray. "So someone could eat it besides him."

"This is so genteel even Tray could eat it." Irvine sounded like he was apologizing to the gods of heartburn for not securing their sacrifices.

"Tray is Galbadian, just like you. If you gave a Galbadian a bottle of hot sauce big enough, he could eat a tank, treds and all."

"Mmmm, hot sauce." Irv went back to the stove to dish up.

"You'll want that to cool," Quistis advised. "He gets it as hot as he can one way or another."

Squall murmured, "Someone mentioned our room?"

"Oh, yes, you even have your own bathroom, well, shower, guys don't take baths which is a shame, you should see the giant tub in our room." Selphie led the way down the hall. Our room was thankfully spared excess Yuletide decorating, save for two plushies with red and green ribbons around their necks, which were sitting on our bed.

We eyed them. "Ok, I get that you are the lion, but since when am I a sheep?"

”Lamb.” Squall shrugged. "It's a Yule thing."

We washed up quickly, because I was starving and because Selphie was pounding on the door telling us to hurry up. "Don't start making out or I'm coming in there with a camera!"

I paused toweling my hair and exchanged glances with Squall. I moaned and he growled and the door burst open. We both cracked up at Selphie's expression, meaning: I folded up laughing and Squall smiled slightly while Selphie scolded.

To appease her, I dug out our most Yulish clothing - a deep red long sleeved tee for Squall and my old green sweater. On a whim, I threw the tee shirt at Squall and said, "Here, at least wear something green." When Squall tugged it on without a correction, I added, "Hyne, you really are color blind."

"I thought you were," Squall said smugly, passing us to head back to the dining room.

"He is," Selphie said confidently.

"How do you know?" It didn't matter, except that it did because I'd grown up with Squall and we were lovers and Selphie still knew something about him I didn't. Or thought she did.

"I know everything," she said airily. "I'm a mom."

Squall and I were crowded to a corner of the big dinner table, since most of it was commandeered to hold racks of cooling pies, cookies, cookie decorating equipment, and piles of penny candy. Zell had control of that, and bowls of icing, and as we ate I watched him create a heavily decorated Trabian style cookie house.

 

 

Quistis and Selphie were in the living room, hanging finished cookies and other candies and toys on the tree. Irvine popped two more pies in the oven; pumpkin or yam maybe by the smell of spices and that baking buttery aroma. Trabian crowed with delight everytime someone walked by; with all the hustle and bustle it was as if the entire house was playing peekaboo with him.

Irvine brought out several cups. "Now that you've eaten, I want you to try my special brew. You don't want that on an empty stomach, it will dip your hat in the creek."

"Speaking of which," Quistis said, "They had a flood watch on, did you have any trouble?"

Squall eyed me. "We took the scenic route."

"Ooh, I wanted to try that," Zell said, deftly leaning over and snatching the cup that seemed to be meant for Squall. Irvine looked slightly surprised, but then shook his head. Squall let it slide, taking 'Zell's' cup instead, which held some sort of hot cider with a lot of cinnamon.

I took the cup offered me - some sort of Irvine improved egg nog with nutmeg, rum and a lot of brandy. "Good Stuff."

"Not bad." Zell took barely a sip and set it aside. Squall went into the living room to mess with the sound system; as soon as he was gone Zell flashed Irv a frown.

Irvine shrugged, favored Zell with a shit eating grin, and set to stacking cookies on a platter. When I carried our dishes into the kitchen, I poured another mug of the cider stuff and switched cups with Zell.

Squall rigged the tree lights so they flashed in time with the music, to Selphie's total delight. He stayed with the hot cider, which was what Zell seemed to prefer and what Selphie was drinking as well, confirming that it was the nonalcoholic variety. That left Quistis, Irvine, and me to finish off the eggnog, and we got tipsy enough to start singing along with the Yule carols. It's funny how you can only hear songs once a year, but you still know all the words by heart.

I got fired pretty quick when I attempted to decorate anatomically correct cookie men, and since I have neither mechanical nor culinary skills, I was put in charge of babysitting Tray. At least Selphie rescued me at diaper changing time. As a reward, I dug Laguna's fruitcake out of Squall's kit and handed it off to her. She didn't even have to fake looking happy, proving the woman is completely insane.

Irvine drafted Squall into the kitchen to help with some project. I could smell gingerbread, which I took as a good sign. The warmth, food, and nog had mellowed me out and I sprawled on the couch with Trabian on my tummy, laughing my ass off at poor Zell. He'd foolishly volunteered to hang garlands and mistletoe as well as lights, vainly trying to please the two most finicky women in the world. Between Selphie's constant "oo, there, no over there, oo, maybe this..." and Quistis' increasingly drunken directions (which became more complex and detailed the more intoxicated she got), Zell had no hope in this life of making either of them happy.

Irvine and Squall returned with coffee and hot gingerbread cake that was loaded with nuts and fruit and glazed with lemon and orange and cinnamon. Sometime during the evening Squall had acquired Selphie's jingle hat, which he removed and plopped down on my head. He snuggled down next to me, cradling his coffee cup, and nodded to Tray. "How's he doing?"

"Throwing off BTU's like a regular furnace. No wonder the Kramers took us all in, it saved on heating bills." It came to me then, that Selphie and Irvine were right, the bonds we formed as little kids could not be severed by time - or Time Kompression. I was feeling pretty sappy, and it wasn't helped when the music changed and an instrumental version of an old, bluesy holiday song came on.

Quistis tipped her head and started singing along, “The snow is snowing, the wind is blowing…” She has a wonderful voice, could sing professionally if she ever left Garden. “But I can weather the storm…”

 

 

Squall reached over and cut out the regular lights so all we had were the blinking colored ones from the tree and decorations, and the flickers from some candles Selphie had set out. Irvine got up and tugged Selphie to her feet, and they danced in the narrow space between the gifts and the furniture.

 

"Tree looks good," I whispered to Squall, who nodded and put his head on my shoulder.

 

 

Zell was crouched in the corner like an elf, but his eyes were only for Quistis, and it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out she was pretty much singing for him. “What do I care how much it may storm? I've got my love to keep me warm.”

 

 

Since no one was looking, I stole a kiss from Squall. "I've decided to forgive you for roping me into this."

He smiled back. "To think I was preparing to offer oral as a consolation prize."

"No reason to assume they are mutually exclusive."

 

 

Irvine dipped his head, catching Selphie's lips for romantic kiss. The lights flickered, then died, and the music garbled to a stop. Quistis trailed off in confusion a few beats later.

 

 
I sat up a little, balancing Trabian. "See what you did?"

"Uh-oh, " Zell said. "Generator?"

"Supposed to be on a power grid, but we are pretty rural..." Irvine looked around like the answer would appear.

"Is that the rain?" Quistis frowned at the window. "It is, it's coming down in sheets. I don't know why we couldn't hear it before."

"Because we had the music up loud, Brianiac." I was trying to get up, not easy with both Squall and Tray on top of me. Squall at least I could poke until he moved, which he did reluctantly. Quistis stuck her tongue out at me, proving beyond a doubt she was at least half in the bag.

Selphie handed a candle to Zell, and one Squall. "They are orange and winterberry!" Squall and Zell exchanged looks, then both eyed their candles like they were expecting an attack.

I rolled my eyes. "Fun as this has been - and it has been, thanks, 'Elf - it's late and that was a hint from Hyne we should choose up sides and all go to bed." I offered Selphie her son.

Picking up the last candle, Irvine said, "Excellent idea. I should mention that Selphie's and my bed has plenty of room if any of you should get cold or lone- ow, Darlin', ow, not so hard... not in front of the boy, Selph..."

 

 

Selphie hoisted Trabian to her shoulder, and swatted Irvine with her free hand, chasing him out of the room. She called back a merry "Good night! We'll worry about the mess and power in the morning - when it quits raining!"

Zell offered Quistis the candle and his arm. "You guys think it's going to stop raining in the morning?"

"I think I'm prepared to sleep in until it does," I answered. I let Squall tug me to my feet, then I looped my arm around his narrow hips and pulled him off balance for a stealth hug.

"Good night," Quistis said. "Sleep well. Zell, do you know where my luggage ended up?"  He murmured a response, guiding her down the hall.

"If he doesn't get laid tonight, we are going to have to adopt him and make him honorarily gay."

Squall rolled his eyes. "I'm not interested in other people getting laid."

"I like how you think."

 

(( I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm by Irvine Berlin. Dean Martin does a good job singing it. ))