Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ I Want to be Your Chicken Wuss ❯ Chapter Two ( Chapter 2 )

I Want to be Your Chicken Wuss :: Chapter Two

Author's notes:: A big thank you goes out to everyone that reviewed. I appreciate the comments, everyone. Anyway, a minor note here: I can't, for the life of me, remember what that girl's name was who worked in the bar in Alexandria. So, for the sake of my easily-confused mind, we'll refer to her as Mary. And, we'll both pretend that she took over the bar after its owner, Ashley (I remembered his name), went into business with Ruby (I think she really did, anyway.). Think we can handle that? Good. If anyone does know her real name, kindly correct me in your review. Thanks ahead of time.

~O~

The hippopotamus stopped and stared dumbly up at me, blinking. My pursuer screeched to a halt beside me. "Mr. Blank!" the hippopotamus exclaimed upon seeing the red-head. 'Mr. Blank' stared dumbly as in way of a response. "Mary sent me to get you 'n' Marcus! She said to tell you that…uhm." The hippo screwed up his face as if he was trying very hard to remember something, or just had gas. His eyes lit up as he remembered, "Oh, yeah! She said that you should probably check on your friend. Mary said he's really bummed out." With his message relayed, the hippo trotted off into the distance, singing, 'La-la-la-la-la.'

I watched the hippo's exit with great interest; what a dream this was turning out to be. Mr. Blank, as the hippo called him, cursed under his breath and grabbed the back of my shirt, trying to pull me along behind him. "C'mon," he said harshly, giving me another tug for emphasis.

I dug my feet into the ground, refusing to go anywhere. "And what makes you think I'm goin' anywhere with you?" I asked snidely.

"Listen, buddy," he said, turning me to face him. "First, you're coming with me to talk to Zidane, then, I'm gonna personally kick you out of Alexandria."

Instead of feeling threatened, as I'm sure Blank would have hoped, I found myself wondering how the guy could see with that visor-thing covering his eyes. I waved a hand in front of his face to see how he'd react. When he roughly grabbed my wrist it became apparent that he somehow, magically, could see.

"So this is Alexandria?" I asked him as he led me down the crowded street.

"You obviously can't hold your liquor very well, can you?" he asked.

"I already told you, I haven't had anything to drink. I'm just having some freaked up dream where talking hippopotami run freely through the streets." Another singing hippo chose that moment to skip by, happily humming to itself.

"You know," Blank started, "I've always wondered about them myself." as he trailed off he shook his head. "But I'll tell you one thing, you're not dreaming."

A duck with a trumpet passed. "Uh-huh." I said. "Someone's in denial."

We came to a stop in front of a rather quaint building. "What?!" Blank exclaimed.

"Well," I began to explain, "since I'm not dead, and since I'm not still fighting Seifer, the jerk," I added, "I have to be dreaming, right? I mean, where's the electricity? Where's the Garden? Where's Squall and Irvine?" I looked around to make none of the above were in the proximity. They weren't, but I didn't think they would be.

"What are you talking about?!" Blank yelled. "You haven't said one thing that made sense!" Another hippo passed us. It tipped its hat. "Except the thing about the hippos." I nodded in agreement; the hippos were beginning to really freak me out. But Blank continued, "Maybe you're not drunk, you're just a psychopath!"

"Hey, I'm not crazy," I disagreed. The fact that this guy was so against this being a dream was thwarting my theory, and it was all that was keeping me from erupting into a full-blown panic attack. "Ask me something that even a crazy guy would know."

Blank thought for a minute before asking "Is she hot?" and pointing to another hippo as it passed.

"You mean to tell me you can tell their gender?" I asked, incredulous.

"Maybe you're not insane," Blank mused and pushed me into the building labeled 'Bar.'

I sat at a round, wooden table while Blank quizzed some blonde guy with a tail, whom I guessed was Zidane. As Blank gave the guy a pep-talk, I checked out the insides of the bar. Everything was made out of wood, and crafted in a slightly medieval way. It looked like a scene from one of Selphie's fantasy novels. And it was giving me the creeps, as well as splinters. I sat on my stool (a barrel) and tried to pick the splinter from my thumb. Darn fingerless gloves. Blank banged a fist on the blonde guy's table, "This isn't like you at all, man!" he exclaimed. The guy just shrugged. My attention was drawn back to the splinter.

I finally got it out just as the guy with the tattoos entered. He spared me an angry glance before taking a seat next to Blank's current victim. The guy with the tail sighed and said, "You come to gripe at me too, eh Marcus?"

Marcus shrugged, "You shouldn't let her get to you, bro."

Blank snorted, "You should have known better. She's a princess."

"And I'm a lousy thief!" the guy I figured for Zidane said angrily, actually lifting his bowed head to glare at Blank. "I know how these things work out, Blank!"

"This is just like Squall and Rinoa," I offered, drawing all three's attention. "She's a...uhm…daughter of this important guy, and Squall's a mercenary. But they get along just fine." I neglected to mention that Rinoa's perkiness tended to drive everyone to near-suicide, including her self-proclaimed boyfriend, Squall.

The trio blinked stupidly. Or, I imagine Blank and Marcus blinked stupidly, I couldn't see either of their eyes. "What are you talking about?" Blank asked at last, a little irritated. Which was okay, 'cause he irritated me just as much.

"Or like Edea and Cid. Edea is a sorceress and Cid is…well…this fat guy who wears the ugliest damn sweaters I've ever seen in my life. He's a bit freaky too. Gives me the creeps whenever he looks at me." I shuddered, reliving one of those instances.

"And this relates to Zidane how.?" Blank asked, still looking a bit miffed that I had joined in their conversation.

"I'm just sayin' that the guy's got a chance. Or more of a chance that anyone would have figured Cid had."

"Well…Thanks," Zidane said awkwardly.

"Any time," I said with a smile and leaned back against my table. Or, where I thought my table had been. As it turned out, the table was to my other left, and thus I fell backwards onto the hard, wooden floor. The last thought on my mind as I slipped into unconsciousness was, Goody! Now I can go home and beat the crap out of Irvine for slipping me those damned mushrooms.